this is not a love story

Clara // IG: clarainflux

[aagoth]

I really really wish we could’ve spent the summer together like we planned. I want to spend the morning working from home by his side

[vintagehomecollection]

This long, narrow kitchen occupies space that is little more than a corridor. A strong color scheme helps adjust the balance, and a glossy painted floor rug defines the kitchen.

Interior Design On Your Own, 1986

[sacredfaerie]

[aagoth]

I miss him so much. I really cannot handle how much i miss him

[aagoth]

Everyday I see something I’d like to share with him, or I think about a movie we could watch together, or something happens during my day that I’d like to tell him about. He told me after we broke up that I can still share things with him but that made me even more angry because why would I do that? And why can’t he see that it’s not the same? It makes me so frustrated that to him this seems so simple and that keep doing as if nothing happened would hurt me even more. This is the kind of things that make me think he didn’t care much about me, that he has never empathized with me.

[aagoth]

And it makes me so so angry that he’ll think of himself as a poor misunderstood, tortured guy. That he’s sooo troubled he struggles with finding love, cause he doesn’t get to romantize or feel bad about himself after all the shit he put me through. I hate the idea of him feeling bad about himself. He victimized himself and it’s just not fair. He even took the right to feel bad about what happened to me from me. Just a fucking egocentric loser.

[ericryantucker]

Alexa Demie for i-D Magazine shot by Petra Collins

[aagoth]

he cheated on me and I forgave him cause I believed it wasn’t ill intended but I think a part of him did it because he didn’t want to feel someone was “limiting” him, which is very childish and stupid. I think he stopped loving me a couple months ago but was trying to convince himself otherwise. I think he wanted to love me but his feeling had already changed. He was feeling bad and going through a lot so I tried to be as kind and loving and patient and understanding as i could, but I made myself very small to accommodate him, and he was aware of that, he felt bad about it, but instead of trying to be better and reassure me, he decided it just wasn’t in him. So now im left with a big hole inside and upset at myself for putting myself in this situation, feeling completely foolish that I gave someone my entire heart and he took it and smashed it against a wall.

[aagoth]

I’m just completely in awe at how obvious it was that he didn’t care for me. He liked having someone admire him and care for him, he liked the idea of having a companion but was not willing to put any effort in being one.

[aagoth]

I don’t wish him any bad, but I do hope he receives indifference. I hope he gets a lot less.

[freakyyvirgo]

alexa demie by petra collins @ fairy tales, 2021

[aagoth]

he cheated on me and I forgave him cause I believed it wasn’t ill intended but I think a part of him did it because he didn’t want to feel someone was “limiting” him, which is very childish and stupid. I think he stopped loving me a couple months ago but was trying to convince himself otherwise. I think he wanted to love me but his feeling had already changed. He was feeling bad and going through a lot so I tried to be as kind and loving and patient and understanding as i could, but I made myself very small to accommodate him, and he was aware of that, he felt bad about it, but instead of trying to be better and reassure me, he decided it just wasn’t in him. So now im left with a big hole inside and upset at myself for putting myself in this situation, feeling completely foolish that I gave someone my entire heart and he took it and smashed it against a wall.

[aagoth]

I’m just completely in awe at how obvious it was that he didn’t care for me. He liked having someone admire him and care for him, he liked the idea of having a companion but was not willing to put any effort in being one.

[aagoth]

he cheated on me and I forgave him cause I believed it wasn’t ill intended but I think a part of him did it because he didn’t want to feel someone was “limiting” him, which is very childish and stupid. I think he stopped loving me a couple months ago but was trying to convince himself otherwise. I think he wanted to love me but his feeling had already changed. He was feeling bad and going through a lot so I tried to be as kind and loving and patient and understanding as i could, but I made myself very small to accommodate him, and he was aware of that, he felt bad about it, but instead of trying to be better and reassure me, he decided it just wasn’t in him. So now im left with a big hole inside and upset at myself for putting myself in this situation, feeling completely foolish that I gave someone my entire heart and he took it and smashed it against a wall.

[heartsforchi]

“you are going to break your promise, i understand. and i hold my hands over the ears of my heart, so that i will not hate you.”

- catherynne M. valente, “deathless” (via winterkristall)

[soulbots]

Guy Bourdin, 1980

[mournfulroses]

Joaquín Nin, from a letter to Anaïs Nin, featured in Reunited: The Correspondence of Anais and Joaquin Nin, 1933-1940

[glowcowboy]

yayyy girls i love you girls. thank you girls

[classichorrorblog]

The Silence Of The Lambs Directed by Jonathan Demme (1991)

[seaphine]

i don't understand why everybody is afraid of adult conversations. you don't like me? tell me. you don't wanna talk to me? don't ignore me. you mad at me? Iet me know. i'm wrong? let's talk. we don't agree? share your view points. its not that hard.