[剣] – Souji doesn’t move from the futon, emerald eyes fixed on a random crack in the wooden boards on the ceiling over their heads and he allows his gaze to become blurred and unfocused. A dream. His dream was to help Kondou-san become great, to slash down any obstacles that stood in the Shinsengumi’s path. He was the sword of the Shinsengumi, the feared engine of slaughter; but now? He barely has the strength to wield a sword. The first division captain of the Shinsengumi is now nothing but the weakest soldier in the corps—if he could even be considered part of the corps anymore.
When Souji lifts his hand up he isn’t staring at his pallor complexion, but the way his skin clings to bones in his arm. His fingers look eerily skeletal in the streak of moonlight that cracks through the open shoji, and when he slowly curls his hand into a fist he knows it doesn’t carry the same strength that it used to. His waking existence has become a nightmare from which he cannot escape.
His emerald gaze scrapes across the room to where the uchigatana sat, he wonders why the other still even bothers to remain here with him. He’s better off elsewhere, with a master that is able to make use of him, not with one that is already halfway through death’s door. “I don’t know why you even bother to hang around. I don’t need you anymore,” a self-deprecating chuckle.
He would much rather push everyone he cares for away rather than show his own weakness—bitter resentment of his own fate and anger suit him much more than pitiful sorrow.
Those words were the last thing the uchigatana wanted to hear. Even if he knew that it was all an act, even though he knew that the words that he uttered were dripping with lies, he couldn’t help himself but believe them to be true.
Crimson hues look to his sickly master, clinging desperately to life ( or was he clinging desperately to death? ), full of sorrow and resentment.
He hated that there wasn’t anything he could do about his master’s predicament. If he could, if he had the power, he would take the master’s burdens upon himself. If he was the only one hurting then everything would be fine.
He sees the moonlight shine upon him, reflecting off his pale complexion making him seem whiter than he already was. His master who was once a revered and feared captain of the Shinsengumi, was now nothing but a pitiful figure who seemed to push everyone away.
Kashuu closed his eyes, letting his thoughts settle before he opened them again, push his hand against his knee as he stood himself up and opened the screen door.
❝I’m going to go and get you more water. Stay here and rest while you can. There’s going to be another battle soon.❞
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