{ and everyone's looking for relief }

"It's about time I went home, huh." AFFILIATED TO DA6: PARELTHON STATUS: [ endgamed ] icon credit to n/dwyer at shslryouseibai !

[abaskervillehound]

hurgle

hurgle hurgle

hey dwyer

[shslweddings]

abaskervillehound replied to your post: ☆ heya

you’ve killed me noot

well you and ryan have both killed me so actually we’re uneven 

[abaskervillehound]

umm? tadashi and you have killed me so we’re even? what is th

[abaskervillehound]

presented without context

[abaskervillehound]

jamesfalt replied to your post: ☆ jam ;0

i. love ryan

please reconsider i beg of you

[abaskervillehound]

☆ whoopsie

“…To tell you the truth (wow, surprising!), I… was kind of hurt you didn’t at least tell me that you killed Ai– if you didn’t want to get executed, then I would have… I would… well, you probably know what I would have done. I mean, you aren’t getting executed now, but what if we got it wrong? What if you did get executed. 

Then what? 

Were you just going to accept it? Would I have to watch you die like all the others? Would I have to laugh it off and pretend that it hadn’t hurt as much as it did to prove that karma really didn’t exist? Did you really think I wouldn’t feel anything if you just went off and get yourself executed? That I’d just shrug it off?

Laughing at things can only get me so far, even if this is all… fake.”

“Look, I’m a selfish, hypocritical prick who demands things from others without giving back, and this time isn’t different, but I want you to promise me something.

I’m not a stable person, to admit this, and I shouldn’t have gotten close to people– but I’m a hypocrite and I did. Y’know, the whole ‘your execution’ thing it kind of… y’know. 

Scared me. 

Which isn’t something that happens often, mind you, but I got scared, y’know? Nervous. Afraid. And I’m not supposed to get scared for other people– I never became afraid for my partner when I was still active in the yakuza. I don’t know what would happen next. I’ve never been honest, really. And you know that.

So don’t do that again– you better outlive me at least, asshole.”

before we can even dive to what the fuck is ryan’s opinion on tadashi, let’s talk about ryan’s  ~trust issues~. they’ve got those, and it’s probably the biggest reason why they’re not actually close with too many people– there’s only like three that i can remember at the moment, and that’s already at a surprising number.

ryan’s kind of an asshole if you think about this long and hard, but they trust ppl they’re close to so much that they silently (which is… yknow.) demand the same amount of trust from the other as it is so fucking HARD to get them to trust someone (despite their energetic persona)– so when tadashi was revealed that he was the killer, and that he had accomplices, it kind of… well, they were jittery after that. to them, it felt that tadashi actually didn’t trust them as much as they trusted him.

so it kind of made them

really nervous. basically the reason why they started acting really weirdly in the trial.

keeping that in mind, ryan still is very fond of tadashi! they’ll need just a bit of time to get a goddamn grip on their emotions and be like ‘okay so like, i’m NOT being fooled’, but they’re willing to talk things out and go back to being good friends with him.

they find him to be interesting since his reaction to their pranks is… well, something that they enjoy. who doesn’t love a good reaction? example: snow motive. ryan chuckles over that all the time honestly. surprising tadashi while praetis was just snow hell was honestly a fav of theirs. plus, playing games afterwards? absolutely fun.

not to mention that tadashi was… well, himself around them. of course in the beginning it wasn’t rly all that way, and it was honestly surprising that tadashi went up to them, knowing about what they did, but he was… interested in talking to them. they’ve met a few true crime fans, but combined with the whole mutual killing it, it was honestly bizarre to them. 

but he kind of started acting natural around them, and they appreciated that. they really did appreciate that a lot. people being genuine around them is something that they silently appreciate. to them, if you act more natural around them, then they’ll find more enjoyment in pestering you as they don’t really care for all of that ‘persona’ stuff.

(even though they do it. fucking nerd)

they really didn’t notice how much fun they were having around tadashi until they started to realize it after seeing that tadashi was the one that they texted to the most out of the entire class. honestly at that point they were kind of weirded out with themself since they automatically assume, oh, im the only one who considers the two of us to be good friends. the trial where they pretty much declared that they were friends was the icing on the cake, and it made?? ryan really relaxed and honestly thrilled that yes it’s confirmed that they are… indeed Friends.

tadashi, to them, has been kind of?? just someone who if he disappeared, they’d feel really out of place? like him being gone would just have them feel really fucking weird and uncomfortable. in a sense, his existence makes them comfortable since they’re? attached, i guess.

ryan wouldn’t like to call themself as protective, but they’d totally fight someone to protect him at this point. kind of like a guard dog. fucking furry

i don’t want this to be longer that it is so here

summary: ryan… finds tadashi to be a comforting existence. they might regret forming bonds because of the whole ‘i don’t want to feel pain’ thing they’ve got going on, but they surely don’t regret meeting tadashi. he’s important to them, and if he were to just… be out of their life, they’d feel really uncomfortably weirded out. he’s that important to them. 

even if they’re just a little bit shaken up, they’d still want to stay in contact. they’d even go home if it means that they could easily be more in contact with him. he’s a good friend, and they’re glad that he’s… well, he’s there. and he’s their friend. it means a lot to them.

(it really does.)

he’s probably the only person (aside from their sibling, they guess) that they’d probably cry over too so uh

y’know.

[abaskervillehound]

☆ ;0 ?

“Heyy, it’s you! I still think that it’s real funny that I got your secret still. Sometimes I chuckle to myself about it! It’s real funny-- I don’t think you know why, but hey, it’s got to stay somewhat of a secret, huh? Right, Ayato “experiment helper” Akiyama?

Well, I don’t really have much to say. It’s not like we’re that close enough to meet again.”

ryan... honestly doesn’t have much of an opinion of ayato, really. it’s true that they found ayato amusing only one when they were basically interrogating him on his secret, but other than that? if ayato was trying to reach background character levels, then he sure as hell got it with ryan. 

honestly they wouldn’t mind talking to ayato again, but would probably feel weird about it as they weren’t close? like at this point they’re going to treat everyone from the mutual killing who they weren’t somewhat close to as like. former classmates that you don’t ever want to meet again.

awkwardly, ryan did suspect ayato as the mastermind as some point, but they’d probably stay silent about that since it was obviously... well, wrong. no one needs to know about the great ryan roe  making silly mistakes. well, they don’t really count it as a genuine suspicion, really. o well.

summary: aside from one thing that caught their attention in the past, ryan doesn’t have much to say about ayato. he’s very neutral in their book and they don’t really give that much of a shit about him. they do find his secret to be really funny though for their own personal reasons-- not much the person, but the concept.

[abaskervillehound]

☆ hey its me the other white-haired asshole

“Hey, it’s you! That other white-haired asshole. We could have totally bonded over how much of an asshole we both are, y’know? Hell, I could jokingly almost run you over with my bike. But though, well, look. While you’re cool in my book, I have to say this: I might be one hell of a douche, but at least I’m not a kinky douche. Enjoy that fetish that you have!”

honestly despite masashi being the other white-haired person in the entirety of the class, ever since they found out masashi’s fetish (thanks holly), all interest in meeting him kind of... dropped? of course they wouldn’t mind talking to him if they bumped into him, but willingly?

not really.

fetishes don’t really freak them out, to be honest, but it’s the idea that this person could be enjoying the current situation in a really......... not so good way that made them really ‘eh’ about him. like they’re laughing about the situation, and they’re questionably finding this all funny, but not... y’know. though they don’t think of masashi negatively since he’s close to holly from what they’ve heard so he’s got that.

other than that, they really don’t have anything else to say about masashi. they wouldn’t find him all that interesting, actually. kind of boring. hes the type to them that they’d forget about after a week even if they’ve known the guy for like, a while because of the mutual killing. to them, masashi’s just another face in the crowd who only speaks up a few times just to be an asshole-- and they can appreciate that, but really, he seems like a background character to them.

summary: they don’t have any significant thoughts about masashi other than being ‘eh’ about his fetish? it’s mostly just a ‘i knew this person but i don’t really care about them so like, whatever’ thing. sorry masashi but the fetish thing just really wasn’t all that interesting to ryan

[abaskervillehound]

☆ jam ;0

“Oh, Ghostie! Well, I didn’t really get to bond with you or whatever, but I think your talent is quite snazzy. Keep doing what you do! Though I personally thought you were kind of mundane in the glimpses I got to talk or see you. Nyahaha! Though the last part of the trial? I could see just a little bit of something there.”

final thoughts: ryan’s thoughts are very convoluted, but it’s safe to say that they don’t… really have much to say about jamie. verbally, they’d pass it off as him being boring, but they just don’t really know what to say. to them, he was kind of just there in the class, as the shsl ghostwriter.

they do remember when jamie’s talent was talked about as if it were illegal (ryan: ummm its morally wrong not illegal get it right), but other than that? they’re really neutral about him. no negative thoughts, just total neutrality.

separating their personal opinion, they do have to admire one thing: his talent. his talent is actually something that they’re extremely familiar with, as their cousin does the same exact kind of work that jamie does! so he’s somewhat on ryan’s good side, but uh.

their thoughts on jamie? unfortunately nonexistent 8(

summary: either way, ryan is very neutral about jamie and doesn’t really have anything to say about him? he’s really just someone they knew in the class

[shslscifihorror]

Send me a ☆ for my muse’s opinion of yours.

[shsl-doubttelos-blog]

Ryan votes for Yuji as the Parel mastermind and Chou for the Tora mastermind.

[shsl-doubttelos-blog]

woof woof i want to sleep || ryan || mm trial || re: tadashi, aliani, ppl who want the journal deets || attn: everyone

There’s tension that builds up within as Michiko doesn’t even take a moment to at least consider– god, fuck you– quieting down for a second, and it only seems to increase when Tadashi starts speaking, apologizing to them. What did they say! They didn’t want anyone’s apologies. If they weren’t going to accept EBULLIENCE’s apologies, then certainly—

certainly–

…

To admit, there was something that stirred within Ryan– but they squashed it down out of pure fear that it could grow to something that they didn’t like. Something that made them actually uncomfortable. Something painful, to say the least. Pain? God, they’re not a fan of that, no way. Anything that could remotely cause them pain is a big no-no in their book.

“…”

They give a casual, but clearly uncaring shrug, with their palms up in respond to Tadashi.

(what’s the phrase that people always say? oh, right– fake it until you make it. that’s probably a good idea. especially since–)

“Well, apology accepted, Tadashi!” They say, as if they’re just fine (great).  

“It’s not like I’m that shaken up about something like this. Things like this are super duper commonplace in my lifestyle anyways! No biggy, no biggy. Death happens and like, whatever, you do you.”

Their voice falters slightly.

“…You do you…”

Either way, they quickly dismiss the entire thing with a hand, and lets the pages flip back to the first one as they wait for a time to metaphorically wiggle their grimy little criminal hands into the trial so that they could finally get to say stuff about the book. Screaming wasn’t going to work since there were some individuals who were… well, too stupid to realize they’re just being a nuisance.

So they just wait for an opprotunity– and it comes around.

(Of course, they do spare some patience to stand and listen to people start throwing suspects up in the air, with arguments pointedly towards Yuji. There was one thing– or rather, when someone spoke up– that they couldn’t resist the urge to just–)

“You know, Aliani, the way that you present your argument fondly reminds me of when you outright accused me of being the mastermind while trying to seem ‘cool’ about it. Just thought it was funny that you’re doing it again.”

Back to the topic.

“Ah, well, you guys sure can read the journal, but like, I’d like to read this out loud so that everyone gets a whiff of what this mastermind was writing so secretively with this glitch pen. After all, I’m clear, and I’m totally a credible source. Plus, I’ve been meaning to try out some new voices I’ve been trying to mimic this entire time for the hell of it.”

And so, they begin to read.

At least they're trying to make this fun to listen to. Of course, they don’t stop, and anyone who tries to talk, they’re just going to keep going. It’s fine if people don’t listen. It's fine.

After that, they close up the book with a hum, and just–

“Sooo, we’re voting on Yuji, right? After all, this behavior that the mastermind shows… well, it’s just giving her too much credit for something that really isn’t there in her personality! I mean, where’s the arrogance? Where’s the shitty bias? Her? Having to learn how to write detached? Pu-lease, that’s so funny. And like, we’re discussed the other options too, so like, how ‘bout it?”

fgghjfhf

[shsl-doubttelos-blog]

trust issues: the trilogy || ryan || mm trial || re: jamie (barely), ebull, what are yall doing

When Jamie came around to give them the notebook, they wordlessly accept it without even giving the guy a glance. Hell, they don’t even say anything at all after that– though when someone mentions the t word (note: trust), Ryan simply gives a roll of their eyes as they slowly input the password.

(trust? trust? wow, what’s that??? lol)

At the sound of EBULLIENCE’s voice, they pause momentarily as if they’re listening, following it up with a raise of their head.

(…

…mmm.

there’s a dull twinge of something, but they’re ignoring it. it’ll all be over soon.)

There’s little to no energy with their next set of words. It’s replaced with a very bitter, but most certainly apathetic tone that just screams that they’re truly done with all of this. And they’ve got the right.

“I don’t want your apologies, EBULLIE– ah, well, Miss Tomiko– or anyone else’s,” they flatly respond as they open the notebook with a satisfying click. It seems they’re also done with saying EBULLIENCE like they’ve always done.

“If I was asking for one, I would have said so. I’m just bored of this entire thing already. I’d honestly rather do a million sudoku puzzles than hearing that.”

snip that one away

There’s a slight tremble of their hands, but as usual, it goes away as they rummage through their pocket with a hand, taking out what seems to be a white pen.

Though when people (note: sasaki and michiko) bicker about topics that they really just don’t care about, their almost unbreakable patience starts to wear down at an exponential rate. It get to the point where there’s something that just snaps in Ryan, and they raise their voice– with every word reaching a high octave than the rest–

“GOD! SHUT! THE! FUCK! UP!”

And as if they didn’t just scream for people to shut up, they put on one of their classic smiles.

“Actually, you guys can just fight it out. I’ll stay here and just reread this mastermind journal while you guys do your own thing. Awfully rude of me to just interrupt such an important thing.”

and they do, because farren gotta snooze like a little shit

[shsl-doubttelos-blog]

and i worried about you || ryan || monothea || re: results || attn: the murder trio, jamie

There was something that seemed to stir within the fabricator as the trial came to a close. Something… that they couldn’t put their finger on. Ryan Roe might have been an expert of impersonations, but they were certainly new to this ‘emotion’ business. What was an emotion? God, who even knew!

They certainty didn’t. 

Especially now!

A lot of questions danced on the tip of their tongue at the reveal– and now that it was confirmed that Tadashi had been the culprit– there was a lot more that threatened to spill out of their mouth. But they kept silent for once– unusually silent.

('why didn’t you tell me anything?’ 'i worried about you– and you’re just going to die just at the end? and i have to watch?’ 'you could have at least warned me that this could happen!’ 'i–’)

“⋅⋅⋅ᵗᵒᶫᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗᵒ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵃᵍᵃᶦᶰ⋅”

It was barely even above a whisper as they looked at all the involved parties with their usual wide, ryan-like grin. When it came to Tadashi, the ends of their mouth twitches just a bit, but there’s virtually no change.

Because they didn't care!

Oh no, they truly didn’t care about this at all, huh?

(ignore it while you can, ryan, but really, you just don’t want your emotions taking you by the reins)

“I see!”

They clap their hands together and laughs– though there’s something missing. If you squint, there’s a slight tremble in their hands that threatens to grow by the second, but alas, it disappears just as that strange expression

“Well. Wasn’t that just a ride. We got it right in the end, so congratulations to us! You’ve bested us, Michiko and Miko! Oh, and Tadashi too. No more mysteries now, eh? It’s the end of things, and we’re all going to try and get a chance of going home!”

There’s a pause after their congratulations as they blink a few times, their expression faltering for just a second. The ends of their mouth twitch down as they eyes trail down to the ground, a glossy look appearing before they snap back to their usual look. It would suck to show emotion this late in the game, huh?

Ryan whistles, and casually– of course it’s not casually, but what else could they do but to pretend– knocks down their shades to cover their eyes, before folding their hands behind their neck. At least this way, they’ll just be a little bit more… well.

Just like themself.

(dammit– i don’t want to see you die at the end–)

“Let’s just get this mastermind trial rolling, m'kay? So we can get out and forget all about this! All about this!”

Aw, they’re just like a kicked puppy! An amused laugh escapes them, though their loud and obnoxious tone goes quiet as they talk in a voice far different from their 'usual’ one.

“…the notebook. Fenn, could I have the notebook. I’ll open it if you want.”

[shsl-doubttelos-blog]

zzzz || ryan || trial || re: everythign, tadashi, yuji

There wasn’t really much Ryan could do – or really, react.

Especially since they were greeted with the sight of their friend hanging upside down from a vine, with blood (his blood–) dripping down to the ground. It wasn’t really something that they prepared themself for, so when their eyes met that, they–

They–

They blanked.

(…)

They remembered yelling something before finding themself now in the trial room, standing in their respectful place. The investigation was all a blur– 

But hey, they were here now. And the narrator needs to sleep soon.

“Credit to me, of course! I’m the one who did most of the stuff to get the password, y'know~? If anyone’s going to open the notebook during this trial, I totally have the right. I mean, come onnn, I went through hell and back to get that infoooo.”

Oh my god shut up,Ryan.

“Ah but to go back to the trail thing from tree boy– I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about. Whatever path that was, if it seems fresh, it wasn’t made by me. I wasn’t really roaming around around the time of… well, everything. ”

“But hmmm, since it sounds like the culprit’s injured, why don’t we go with the classic checks that we used to be a fan of waaaaaay back in the beginning. I’m not a fan, but like, if we’re serious about catching the culprit, then like, it might be a good idea.”

fuck bye

[creativichee]

Send me a number and I’ll write a micro story using the word or phrase

(creator note: I recommend 3-10 sentences but go for a longer piece if you really feel it! Replace pronouns as needed for the character / point of view)

don’t leave 

this was a mistake

[I] trusted [you]

one chance

help

illusion

silent fury

sunbathing

falling

righteous

drastic

candles

too loud

overgrown

trembling hands

in dreams

empty

flinders

sea change

alone, finally

collapse

nap

sated

tender

senseless

how dare [you]

hide

something about [them]

sweat

harsh whisper

breeze

dust motes

saccharine

bauble

filthy

total control

defy

soak

accursed

pet

comfort food

savior

undone

cheap

svelte

shimmer

crave

rampage

nightfall

accost

[shsl-doubttelos-blog]

england is my city || ryan + kyousuke + eisuke || (ab)normal days || game time

[abaskervillehound]

shslryouseibai:

“Nothing too bad. I mean, people are off yer back now, aren’t they?”

It was mostly rhetorical. Regardless, his eyes widen a little at the suggestion of a game. He holds up a hand to signal for them to wait. After a while, the two can see in his hands he has retrieved a colorful board game. He seems a tad embarrassed judging by the flush in his cheeks to be holding such a… childish and bright box.

“Y-You better not complain! I just grabbed the first thing I saw in the room, OK? Your fault if you two think it’s lame or anything…”

“You know how to play, right?”

Ryan stares at the box in Kyousuke’s hands with utter delight, almost akin to a child. Though that delight was soon suppressed as quickly as it had arisen, and they slowly look up with a inquisitive expression.

“Hmmmm? Now why would I think that? This looks fun to me! Is it fun? I sure hope it is. Either way, I vaguely remember how to play this game. Though a refresher would be nice.”

They turned back to Eisuke.

“Annnd you’re joining, riiiight?"

[shsl-doubttelos-blog]

england is my city || ryan + kyousuke + eisuke || (ab)normal days || game time

[abaskervillehound]

shslryouseibai:

shslhanami:

As Ryan continue to walk off, behind them was Eisuke being dragged along against his will. Although, the look in his eyes seemed to indicate more annoyance than fear or anger. Nor did he really seem to be struggling against Ryan. More like he was just mildly inconvenience by the whole thing.

In his arms he held his plush bear, MonoBear, tightly.

“Ugh… Please don’t tell me you actually brought me along with you to come see that loser.”

He didn’t seem to thrilled to be reunited with his brother.

A flicker of vitality flashed through the hebocon competitor’s eyes as he materialized as the hologram and saw Ryan. His expression was the most boyish it had been in weeks, but it fell a bit when he realized yet another familiar face behind them.

“Nice to see ya too, brother. Still luggin’ ‘round that cursed stuffed bear?”

He was well aware of this fact, yet he felt compelled to voice it anyway.

“…Noisy. Turns out pushing up daisies don’t shut you up much. I see living life ain’t being very hospitable to you either considerin’ last trial, heh. So what'cha want? Doubtful Eisuke’s here for any good reason.”

“You guessed right, lil’ demon bear holder! I mean, that wasn’t initially what I planned to do, but it happened regardless!”

They laugh, as they turn back to Kyousuke.

“Ohoho! Personally, I would say that the noisy aspect is a good thing. Better than constant silence, y’know? Hehehe, but I guess everyone did see that last trial, huh? Kind of embarrassing, really. Heh heh.”

“Anyways, I’m here because I’m bored and I wanted to talk to you again! I kind of picked up your brother along the way and that wasn’t planned, but he can join, right? More’s the merrier, after all! Got any dead realm games or something you can summon?”