I’m so so so so so so sorry for the delay! This fic is a secret santa dedicated to @abayo-sayonara-da. I really do hope you enjoy!
I hope you’ve had a wonderful holiday and please enjoy the rest of it!
And a big thank you to @soukokuweek for hosting this Secret Santa! I really did enjoy it and probably would’ve enjoyed it even more if I wasn’t so overloaded with work DX
Summary: Chuuya gets kissed under the mistletoe for the first time
Secret Santa present for My precious little Reanna chan~
Dear :
@abayo-sayonara-da ~
Hello there sweet Rea chan~ hope you doing all fine and enjoyed your time and holidays too lovely~!! And My deepest apologies for my delay~ I was so busy earlier and was so lost for sweet idea of the fics that meant to be for you sweetie~ and it’s my first time to write fic for someone as well as joining secret santa~ in the end, I hope you enjoy it my lovely friend~ and “Merry Christmas Sweetie~!” 🎁💙🌹
FanFiction LawLicht for Christmas Cuddle and Kiss :
The Christmas Eve was cold and in dark room which is lit by the light of the store’s signs from out the big windows. It was surely quiet in the room and only a phone screen that lit up to show a message from Kranz saying ‘After your last performance we will leave Japan back to your hometown, Licht. Aren’t you happy~?’ with no answer to that message.
Licht was alone in there and was hugging his knees close to his chest looking into the distance as he know that soon after his performance after three days he will leave Japan back to his hometown Wien in German and he felt happy to be back and see his friends again after a long time of not seeing them but in same the same time he felt kind of sad for that too, he start to get used to everything here and to his new friends whose also an Eves like him for each servamp.
He wanted to be calm and focused for now but looks like it didn’t work that way. The young Pianist tried to rest his mind for a bit and lay down on the bed but he couldn’t feel rest at all. He eventually moved and got his phone shutting it and putting it in his pocket and wore his winged backpack and walked out of his room to get some fresh air in that cold and snowy night, wishing for somewhere that could help him relax and focus his mind on things.
At this time, Hyde finished his part time job and was heading to their hotel when he sensed his Eve nearby and with big grin of his “can’t believe you Angel chan. isn’t it cold for you to be out in this weather? haha!” he mumbled to himself and try to call him on his cellphone but it was off and it was an odd situation to begin with.
The greed Servamp jumped up high to look for his Eve from above the street and when he found him he was walking alone along the sidewalk seeming to be not his usual self as he kept heading to the riverside so he decided to follow him quietly.
At the riverside the Eve sit there with his arms rested on his knees and let a sigh out with his face soften than usual, he didn’t even noticed his Servamp who was walking at him from the back and then wrapped a warm scarf around him and made a big Bow knot of it.
“MERRY CHRISTMAS LICHT-TAN~~!!!” he was so cheerfully loud and happy to give his present to his amazing Eve but the young Pianist just looked at him then moved his eyes somewhere else without try to kick him off or even do anything violent and this is just so strange for the blonde haired male who’s sitting beside him now and looking at him with pout and a bit calm than his usual loud as well.
“Na~ Licht-tan are you sick or something?” the Servamp asked with slight worried in his tone. The other boy just looked at him and sigh again.
“We will go back to Wien and might never come back here again…” said the Eve quietly as he leaned on his servamp.
“A-..! Angel chan, you never did this before. You actually sad?” Hyde said in surprised of what is happening “guess even you the Angel can feel down sometimes huh…” the other didn’t answer him at all.
“Licht, we will come back here again someday and you will play here again. You always work hard for what you want, then work hard for this too and we can come back here again” the Servamp tried to cheer him with words and then he wrapped his arms around the sad lover to pull him into a gentle hug, he expect Licht to push him a way but instead he let himself being hugged by this loud lover and rest in his chest.
“L-Licht tan~??” Hyde stuttered with soft blush spread across his face. Licht was so quiet for the time being and moves his arms around his Servamp to cuddle him. Hyde flustered about the move of his lover and stayed like this for a bit with slight shiver before Licht moves back and looked at him with his usual violent eyes again.
“Li-Licht tan? You back? Don’t kick me!” he said with his usual loud when the angel start to undo the scarf that Hyde gave him and start to wrapping it again but this time around himself and his lover with clear mumbles.
“Stupid Hedgehog, this is not how you wrap the scarf. This is how to do it in proper way for your lover in Christmas Night!” he said with a bit of cheer in his tone and stared in his lover red eyes before smirk at the flustered male in front of him who’s now fully red and staring at him back.
“Were you feeling cold and shiver just now?” Licht teased the flushed lover.
“This… This is unfair! You were so quiet second ago and suddenly turned in this way?!” Hyde now want to hide but all he could do is pull Licht in tight hug and nuzzling his face in the other’s neck to get all these warm affection which is rarely come from his violent lover.
“Now, can I get my Christmas kiss? Shitty rat” the Pianist just asked still wear that smirk as he pats his love’s head lightly.
“Not before you say the secret words for this occasion, Licht tan~!” Hyde said happily looking at him in the eyes with big smirk shown on his lips.
“Fine! Merry Christmas, Hyde” Licht said with clear voice and with these words being said Hyde sealed their lips in passion kiss with one hand slide through the soft black hair to give his lover nothing but a gentle feels as the Eve touch the Servam’s cheek softly and slowly move his hand down to his chest while their kiss deepen with every second but they broke that seal carefully for some air.
“I always love how eager you become for each time we go for these stuff~!” he whispered at the other’s ear in low and so needy shown his tone.
“Of course! After all, I ’m your EVE Greedy hedgehog” Licht whispered in the blond haired male with equal low and so needy in his tone.
With this the pair back to stare at each other’s eyes for a bit longer with lustful thoughts then smirk and pull each other in hot and deep kiss and for the Eve’s surprise His Servamp carry him up while keep kissing him and jumped up high heading to their hotel for a Fired Night under the blanket, away from anyone else’s eyes.
Silly Dazai, stop pestering Chuuya! Just because it’s Christmas does not mean he owes you a kiss or anything. Jeez!
I’m your Secret Santa @luckydaruma.
My first Secret Santa gift ever and it is absolutely perfect.
Thank you so much! C’mere and let me hug you for this wonderful gift! [/tackle-glomp-hug-]
I shall cherish this to bits ‘n’ pieces. Yes. MORE HUGS FOR YOU DARLING!
Notes: Merry Christmas Amy @dat-space-sloth! I tried to write Hanahaki for you :) sorry for the oocness and cringe at the end askfsfds
Prologue:
“Who the fuck is this? Have you seen the time?”
“Port Mafia Executive Nakahara, this is Kunikida Doppo. As you may recall, I am a member of the Armed Detective Agency. I have an urgent request-”
“Why should I give a hell about your damned request? I just spent a week dealing with a group of upstart idiots in the north, I finally get a couple days off, and the Agency wakes me up at four in the goddamn morning?”
“Nakahara, it is important that you come to the Agency as soon as possible. Dazai-”
“This is about Dazai? No way in hell am I-”
“Dazai has a terminal illness. There is only one possible way to treat it and we require your assistance-”
“Dazai has a terminal illness?”
“The disease of unrequited love.”
“...Are you sober?”
“I am not joking, Nakahara.”
“Then the bastard’s probably playing some stupid joke on you. I feel sorry for you and all, I mean, I had to deal with his idiocy for years, but just ignore him and he'll get bored of it in no time-”
“He has not been able to eat, nor has he left the Agency, in over a week.”
“What?”
“If you don't believe me, come to the Agency, Nakahara.”
***
Dazai felt an uncomfortable tightness in his chest, and braced himself for what would follow.
A moment later, he leaned over, desperately gasping for air due to the sudden obstruction in his windpipe. His throat burned as flowers were forcibly ejected from his body, and he gripped the bedsheets as he spat them out.
His entire body shook with the agonized tremors of an illness that the Special Ability Department called “Hanahaki disease.” Apparently, it wasn’t caused by an ability, but rather by unrequited love.
It was tragically ironic that, after years spent crafting the perfect defense - the most impenetrable facade that he could manage - love, of all things, would be his demise.
“How are you feeling, Dazai-san?” Atsushi entered the room, fixing Dazai with a look of concern as he carried a bowl of cold water and a towel over to him.
“Irritated,” Dazai said, with mock annoyance. “I can’t believe that you people would actually keep me imprisoned in this room for the final days of my life, when I could be convincing a young lady to commit suicide by my deathbed.”
Of course, he could probably have easily gotten out of the Agency, had Yosano not pointed out how fragile and easily injured he was, and how excited she was to try her new cleaver on the next person who needed healing.
“These won’t be your final days, Dazai-san,” Atsushi stated firmly. “We’ll find a way to stop this disease.” Really? I distinctly remember the Special Ability Division saying that it was incurable, unless my feelings were reciprocated. In which case, I might as well be dead already. “Kunikida-san just opened the door for someone; he was talking to them earlier on the phone, and he said that it was really likely they’d be able to find something-”
The sound of a throat clearing came from the doorway of the infirmary, and Kunikida walked inside. “Well, Kunikida-kun? What poor soul did you wake up at” Dazai glanced at the clock “half past four in the-”
He stopped abruptly as he saw Chuuya walk in behind Kunikida.
Kunikida, what the hell? Why would you bring him here - do you know how stupid of an idea that was?
Chuuya stopped in front of him, and Dazai quickly masked his shock and indignation with a taunting look.
“Dazai, I assume you are familiar with Port Mafia Executive Nakahara?”
“Kunikida, you brought chibi here?” He let out an incredulous laugh. “He spends ten times the Agency’s annual budget on ridiculously expensive wines, his lack of maturity is surpassed only by his lack of height, and seeing his tacky hats will kill me faster than Hanahaki.”
“Shut up, bastard,” Chuuya snapped, but he didn’t appear to be paying attention to the conversation - instead, he was looking Dazai up and down with something that closely resembled horror.
And why wouldn’t he? Dazai knew exactly what he looked like: sunken eyes accentuated with heavy bags, the pallor of an undead creature, and a visibly thin frame. Considering all of that and the IV in his arm, he didn’t look anything like the derisive, invincible prodigy that Chuuya was used to seeing.
Being unable to meet Chuuya’s expectations shouldn’t have bothered him, but it stirred up a heavy feeling within him that Dazai strictly refused to acknowledge as shame.
After continuing to stare at him in silence for a few more moments, Chuuya turned to Kunikida. “What happened to him?”
Kunikida briefly explained Hanahaki, and Dazai resisted laughing at the ridiculously disbelieving expression on Chuuya’s face. “He only has a few weeks left at best. According to the Special Ability Division, the few recorded cases on file never lasted longer than a month, unless their love was reciprocated. And since he,” he gestured at Dazai exasperatedly, “won’t tell us who he’s in love with, we have to find another way to save his sorry ass.”
“Why should I?” Dazai shrugged. “Even if I told you, that’s not how love works. Not that either of you would know,” he smirked, “but having the person you love in front of you doesn’t automatically guarantee that they’ll return your feelings.”
“We should still try.” The conviction in Chuuya’s voice struck a note within Dazai. If you want to save me that badly, is it possible that you don’t hate me as much as you claim to, Chuuya? Is it possible that-
He attempted to banish the half-formed thought from his head, but he couldn’t. He felt the contraction of his chest that he had become accustomed to over the course of the past few days, and he began to cough again. Something, however, immediately felt wrong. It was too much - too much - he couldn’t, he was spluttering and choking, there were so many flowers this time, fighting to get out of his body. He needed air - needed to breathe - and then Chuuya was by his side, he felt slaps on his back, and he spat out flower after flower, some clumped together.
The flowers had always been pink, but these ones were spattered with dark crimson stains - blood.
Chuuya released him. “I’ll find a way to save him. The mafia has connections everywhere; someone has to have heard of this ‘Hanahaki’ thing.” He added, almost as an afterthought, “Dazai, you owe me a Romanée-Conti after this is over.”
Dazai offered another false, hoarse grin.
You won’t be able to save me, Chuuya. Because the one I’m in love with...is you.
And you’ll never be able to love me back.
***
Chuuya entered the infirmary, not bothering to suppress the grin on his face as he walked over to Dazai’s bed. “It’s over, Dazai. I found another cure.”
Dazai raised his eyebrows, waiting for Chuuya to continue.
Chuuya turned to Yosano, who had momentarily stopped writing on her clipboard to listen to him. “The source of Hanahaki disease is a group of flowers near the heart. If it’s removed surgically, the disease - and the unrequited feelings - will be eliminated. You can do it; you’re a doctor, right?”
“Yes, I can,” she said. “The risk of something going wrong will be particularly high, and I’ve never encountered Hanahaki before, but I have my ability.”
Chuuya looked down at Dazai, who was staring at him with an unreadable expression. “Dazai?” He frowned. “You’re going to be saved, you idiot, show some gratitude. Or at the very least, be happy, will you?”
Dazai spoke quietly, looking at the ground as he did so. “Chuuya, you said that I’ll have my unrequited feelings removed?”
“Yes, but what’s the problem?” He was confused - if someone’s feelings had no chance of being reciprocated, wouldn’t it be better to have them removed, rather than to continue to suffer?
“I have many memories with the person I’m in love with, Chuuya. Memories that I don’t want to lose. Since those memories are the basis for my love, I can’t imagine that removing my feelings won’t remove those memories as well. When you’ve had a lonely life like me, you value-”
Chuuya stared at Dazai with stunned disbelief. He can’t be implying what I think he means. He cannot be that much of an idiot. “You’re not seriously considering dying?”
“Chuuya, those memories are important.” Dazai finally met his eyes, an unreadable expression shadowing his face.
Chuuya had seen that expression often after Dazai had been promoted to executive. It gave him the defeated feeling of Dazai having slipped out of his reach, having gone somewhere where Chuuya could not follow. It stole his rationality, replacing it with the more primal desperation of wanting to keep Dazai close to him and not let him go.
He also felt the frustration of never being able to achieve that.
“So you are. You would die for this person, whoever they are.” He took a deep breath, trying and failing to compose himself. His next words spilled from his mouth like a torrent. “You don’t give a damn about anyone else, then? Anyone else who might rely on you and care about you and not want to see your dead body in a coffin?” He was shouting, and he knew that he would say something regrettable if he continued, but he could not stop. “Of course you don’t. You abandoned me four years ago, and you want to abandon them now. All you care about is you and your interests-”
The sound of coughing effectively silenced Chuuya. He watched as flowers fell into Dazai’s lap, but they were different from the pink ones that he had always seen. These were smaller star-shaped blossoms, tinted with a purple gradient. “They changed?”
Someone responded from behind him, and he spun around, startled, to find an emerald-eyed boy wearing detective clothes. “Those are purple hyacinths. They symbolize regret and sorrow.”
“Regret and sorrow?” Chuuya repeated. Was the change...in response to our conversation? But how?
Chuuya glanced at Dazai one more time before walking out of the Agency. I’ll find another way to save you, you idiot. I promise.
***
“Nakahara, Dazai is…dying. If you want to see him, you should come quickly.”
What? Confusion and panic seized Chuuya’s thoughts. I thought he had weeks. If I had more time, I could have found something. So how-why?
He threw on his jacket haphazardly and raced out the door.
-
The Agency was quiet.
Chuuya had been there several times since that first call from Kunikida, and even with Dazai indisposed, there had always been some sounds of activity. Now he could only hear indistinct murmurs coming from the infirmary.
He walked inside to find everyone in the Agency, even the director, surrounding Dazai’s bed. Dazai lay down, his head propped up on pillows, covered by a blanket of purple flowers.
“What’s going on?” he demanded, making his way to Dazai’s bedside. “I thought he had longer - weeks, you said.”
Yosano wore a somber expression. “He did, but the flowers that started yesterday were poisonous, and he got worse. We couldn’t do anything about it.”
Poisoned... Chuuya suddenly felt crushed by overwhelming guilt. It’s my fault, isn’t it? I shouldn’t have said that to him...but it doesn’t matter anymore, does it?
“Dazai.” He felt frantic tears blinking at the edges of his eyes, but he restrained himself. He would not cry in front of Dazai. “Just get the operation done, you dumbass. You’re going to die, for heaven’s sake, can’t you-!”
Dazai’s complexion was a sickly yellow, his eyes half-lidded. He shook his head. “No...Chuuya.” Dazai’s voice came out in a faint whisper, Chuuya could see him struggle to get the words out. “I’m a...dumbass...you’re right.”
“Now you realize that?!” He knew he sounded hysterical, but he couldn’t help it. This was the first time Dazai had been this vulnerable, this close to death, that he could recall, even through all of their years as partners.
“I’m...sorry. Was a...crappy partner...wasn’t I?” A ghost of a smile touched his lips.
“I don’t give a damn about that, you idiot! This is not the time for apologies!” Chuuya’s mind firmly fought against the reality that was becoming more apparent with each passing moment: that after today, he would never be bothered with Dazai’s suicide attempts again; he would never fight with Dazai again; they would never share another glass of wine or another victory. He felt like a petulant child, unable to give up something that they had gotten attached to.
Attached to him, eh? Despite everything.
Dazai reached over and grasped Chuuya’s hand weakly, his face contorting with the effort.
“Listen...to me...Chuuya. You could...save people. You don’t...have to...keep on killing.”
“What are you saying? That I should...leave the mafia?” I can’t. I’m not like you, Dazai.
Dazai’s eyes flickered shut.
“Dazai!” Chuuya put his hand to the side of Dazai’s neck, checking for a pulse. After one apprehensive moment, he felt it: a weak beat, but it was there nevertheless. Dazai was still alive - but for how much longer?
Chuuya wasn’t ready. He would never be ready.
Dazai’s eyes fluttered open slowly. “Good...luck...Chuuya.”
Chuuya felt the tears wet his cheeks, but he was beyond caring about pride or dignity or any of that, the Agency be damned. “Listen to me, Dazai! Don’t leave again! Don’t leave me! Don’t you fucking dare! I love you, Dazai!”
Dazai had caused countless emotions to surface within Chuuya over the course of their association with one another: irritation, companionship, slight endearment, and the grief of abandonment. He had never thought about it, but somewhere along the way, those emotions had sewn themselves together in a messy patchwork quilt that he had just decided to call love.
He betrayed the mafia - betrayed me - and I’m in love with him?
And he’s dying because he’s in love with someone else.
That makes me pretty pathetic, doesn’t it?
Dazai’s eyes had closed again.
Chuuya, disregarding the whispers of the Agency members around him, leaned over the bed and - it doesn’t matter anymore, right? - kissed Dazai.
It was a small, chaste kiss on the lips: Chuuya’s first and Dazai’s last. Dazai’s lips were chapped from dehydration, and fresh tears ran in rivulets down Chuuya’s cheeks, but Chuuya held it for as long as he could, trying to convey everything in a single, final, futile plea.
By the time he pulled away, the grip on his hand had gone slack.
An agonized scream tore its way out of his throat, and he sank to his knees, clutching at the bedsheets in an attempt at stability as his world spun wildly around him.
Even after someone from the Agency put their arms around him, whispering something into his ear, he continued to scream, viciously denying the voice in his head that repeated Dazai is dead. Dazai is dead. Dazai is dead.
And then, in his peripheral hearing. “Chuuya?”
Dazai’s voice? Am I hallucinating?
It wasn’t until he realized that everyone around him had ceased their movements to stare in shock that he dared to look up at the bed in front of him.
Dazai’s eyes were open, and he was looking straight at Chuuya.
“Da...zai?” What? I thought you were dead - no, you were dead - what the hell is going on?
Dazai seemed as equally unsettled as he did. “Chuuya, how-”
“-how are you alive? You just-”
“Well, you did just confess to him.” It was the boy who had told him about the flowers yesterday. “Hanahaki is the disease of unrequited love.”
It took Chuuya a moment to process the implication, and when he did, he fixed Dazai with a look of utter disbelief. “Dazai, you were...in love with me?” It’s the only possible explanation, but - why the bloody hell didn’t you say anything?
“You...returned my feelings, Chuuya?” Dazai’s voice was clear and strong, without any sign of the affliction that he had just endured. “But I abandoned you in the mafia, so how-”
“How could I love you? I don’t know. I just,” Chuuya felt his face flush, “don’t want to let you go.”
“You saved me.”
“I guess I did.”
That’s all that matters right now.
A/N: I'm aware that this did turn out kind of badly I'm sorry for that pls forgive me :)
“Aaaah, Layako! Why’d you do that! My tail, my beautiful majestic tail. I did exactly as you told. Why’d you still set flames to my tail. Whatever have I done now, uuugh…..”
