Fuck of Desitel

@abel-to-your-cain

you're like one of those lab rats that pushes the pleasure button instead of the food button until it dies

25.2K posts

whomst-call-ghonsbubsters

abel-to-your-cain

Forgot to update my bio to include this so I'm tacking it onto my pinned post (sorry op)

This is a sideblog! I queue things here when I hit my post limit (or post here if I don't want to bury a post on my main blog). My main blog is @dont-open-dead-inside-net , where I'm way more active. It's the same type of posts so if you're following me here I'd recommend checking my main out. Also it makes it easier for me to keep tabs on who my mutuals are

do-open-alive-inside-25 -> abel-to-your-cain

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

this-is-a-name-dont-worry

gshsjb

americwa-deactivated20260714

evil proship sigmund freud, you can't say that!

I have a bisexual guppy and its funny as hell to watch because it seems like he’s only bi out of desperation. Like all of the female guppies are unimpressed by him, and dont accept his mating displays, and every time he fails, he goes over to a SPECIFIC male guppy (the prettiest male guppy in the tank) like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and that male guppy always lets him????

domnika-deactivated20250923

i would read that fanfic ngl

About my fish??

HELP?????

everyfandom-girl

YEAH THIS IS SCIENTIFICALLY RECORDED

WOMEN LOVE GAYBOY

FUJOSHI FISH????

lets make bad art together

i just realized that i forgot to put the word “make” in the image and i think thats fitting lets bad art together

I'm convinced it has to be "short skirt and a long penis." Long jacket sounds like it's supposed to be a misdirect but I don't know what it's misdirecting from. I've heard legs but you don't say "a long legs." The only other external body part that fits is "a long nose" and I don't think that's what he would sing about. Unless he really does mean jacket and I'm crazy for thinking it's a misdirect, but from his tone that's what I always thought. I could be stupid though.

theres literally like a pause one time in the song. its very tongue in cheek. something Has to be up and penis is the only explanation

Shitty comic day i didnt forget you this year

Reblogs r back on so BEHAVE.

was-once-somewhere-else

I just saw a video title on YouTube that said something like “Why is glass transparent?” And that’s an interesting question and I’m sure it’s great that the video exists but my first thought was like “Because glass is terrible, obviously.” Because it’s unwieldy and let’s out warmth and needs to be heated to hundreds of degrees to be shaped and turns into hundreds of tiny daggers if you drop it. Why the hell would we bother with that if it didn’t have some magical quality like being totally transparent despite being solid? Glass is transparent because if it weren’t, we’d use something else.

was-once-somewhere-else

looking through my “me” tag and this is apparently what I was thinking 3 years ago

totally-a-wizard

If you’re still curious we did not start working glass for its transparency. It was most likely started as a sanitary concern. Glass is easy to clean with soap and water, once it’s cleaned out you can use it again for anything and no germs or flavor from the previous meal or drink will remain.

Other materials at the time, namely clay, would absorb flavors and germs meaning that if you ate beef off a clay plate your next meal with that plate could have beef flavor and microbes common on cow meat on it. That would leak out seemingly at random no less. Heck imagine a sick person coughing into their soup bowl and then months later their germs hiding in the clay would pop out to infect whole new people.

Also the earliest human use of glass we know of is for its sharpness. Pre-historic people would use volcanic glass as sharp knives for food preparation. Also beads. Pretty much any new substance humans get their hands on for most of our history we immediately try to make into beads.

The fact that it could become see through was a side benefit.

was-once-somewhere-else

this is amazing and I’m really glad I reblogged that old bullshit post because I got to learn this

assignedilyaoftheday

your assigned ilya of the day is thinking about how he can get his hands on shane in front of all these people

ilya apologizing for being the first draft pick

unionizedwizard

i mean typically this is like

>research shows testosterone HRT is not a contraceptive so you still need to use protection!

>ok. do you know if it has literally any effect on fertility whatsoever?

>lol no

>ok. so hypothetically how would a trans man on HRT know if he's pregnant?

>well silly girl :) you just check your period :) if you missed your period you might be pregnant! duh!

>ok. testosterone HRT stops your period after, like, 3 months though

>[windows error sounds] well then you can usually feel your breasts get heavier and more tender :)

>ok. what about people who don't have mammary glands anymore? how would that even work?

>listen i don't know. why don't you have a pregnancy test?

>those tests work by detecting a specific hormone. does HRT interfere with this hormone by either making it undetectable or stopping its production entirely or anything? how do i know the test itself is reliable?

>have you tried the morning after pill?

>the morning after pill is also hormone-based. how do i know it's reliable? does taking testosterone HRT have any impact on its efficiency? could it potentially cause an adverse reaction? could a trans man with updated ID documents even access it in the first place since the pharmacy only delivers it to people they think, at a glance, could be pregnant?

etc etc

unionizedwizard

like i dont know . i keep thinking of that doctor i saw three times at the goddamn hospital and to whom i explained the concept of taking hrt (prescribed) (controlled) (medical setting) three times and i still don't think he actually understood. "but you look different!" bingo doc that's what it does! "but ... can it actually change your body? :o" bingo doc ! that's what an """hormone"""" does . that's like its whole thing actually. that's what , it does ,

it's like the people at work (transcription) (remote office work) (linguistics) (spelling) (grammar) (writing) (language) (grammar) being confused at the concept of "pronouns". "what do you mean by "pronouns"?" cindy my belovedest ! i think the problem might not actually be that you don't know about The Transsexuals? i think you might actually just be worryingly bad at your job. you know? the job which is "know about grammar"? that job? the grammar job? the job that is about knowing grammar rules? that job? the one that you have? cindy? cindy. cindy look at me. CINDY,

Also I think it’s stupid that the writers had Aang’s primary attachment that he was unable to let go of being Katara alone, especially within the context of romance. It sends such a wrong message about what teachings about letting go of your attachments mean. It isn’t just romance, it’s everything that anchors your self to your physical body: earthly possessions, grudges, friendships, familial relationships, relationships, etc. Reducing attachments down to just Katara—and the moments they played being ones Aang felt romantic attraction toward her and not their best moments of friendship development—dilutes both the message and Aang’s other important attachments.

T-shirt that says "I'M SORRY FOR THE PERSON I BECOME WHEN I'M OVERHEATED"

That would be so fucking funny for me to wear seeing as when I get overheated I stop being able to speak or move and then I pass out

Sorry for the person I become when I’m overheated, and it’s an unconscious body on the floor

shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it

fantasy: the kingdom has been ruled by one family for 10,000 years

science fiction: a new species evolved in 30 years

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