kill that thing patrick

sick of all your faves being pregnant? the winner of this tournament goes to the clinic.

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

ROUND TWO HAS BEGUN

If you've ever seen a character have a child or get pregnant (in canon or fanon) and thought "they would/should not fucking do that", I'm pleased to introduce you to the Abort That Thing tournament! Vote for the characters who you think would terminate their pregnancy to see them fight it out for the first appointment at the clinic.

LIVE POLLS

POLL RESULTS

LIST OF PARTICIPANTS

Rules:

Propaganda is welcomed! Comment under the post or send it through the askbox and I'll get to it as soon as I can.

All characters must be over 18.

Characters can be any gender, and do not have to be physically able to get pregnant.

Characters do not have to have been pregnant in canon.

This is a strictly pro abortion space. I completely understand that it's a sensitive topic, but so is pregnancy and that's joked about all the time. If you're not comfortable with pretty candid and blase discussion of abortion, this isn't the poll for you.

There may be some discussion of serious topics depending on what characters are submitted. I'll try and tag things appropriately, but although this is just for fun and jokes, there will be discussion of the reasons people choose to terminate a pregnancy.

Be chill towards other voters, and don't harass anyone involved. It's all just for fun.

This is partially inspired by @need-him-pregnant-poll, thanks for the public service.

If you're tagged feel free to ignore but if you want, please boost my silly poll:)

@insufferableprotagonistpoll

@monsterfuckabilitytournament

@fefuckability

@gayest-pokemon

@nameshowdown

@sexypeople-contests-2025

@tournament-announcer

[babooshkart]

helly was never cruel

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Round 2, Poll 3

Who's terminating their pregnancy?

Maomao vs Helly R. 

Maomao - The Apothecary Diaries

Helly R. - Severance

Voting ended onOct 2, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Maomao: She was raised by sex workers and considers them her sisters. She knows all sorts about abortion drugs and canonically has a fear of being sexually assaulted. She would consider it a medical procedure.

Helly R: Your alter ego who doesn't see you as a sentient being with free will fucked your boyfriend and possibly got you pregnant? Assert your personhood and ABORT THAT THANNNGGG

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Round 2, Poll 2

Who's terminating their pregnancy?

Madame Satan vs Sakura

Madame Satan - The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Sakura Haruno - Boruto

Voting ended onOct 1, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Madame Satan: GROSS. The showrunner had some sort of birthing fetish, because there's no other explanation for doing this to her.

Sakura Haruno: listen I think she'd actually like to have kids but she should not have had Sasuke's kids specifically (or gotten married to that asshole)

She did not go that hard just to fuck around and settle down.

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Round 2, Poll 1

Who's terminating their pregnancy?

Shen Jiu vs Lane Kim

Shen Jiu - Scum Villain's Self Saving System

Lane Kim - Gilmore Girls

Voting ended onSep 30, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Shen Jiu: Okay, so he's super traumatized and was raised as a slave, and to escape that he became a cultivator. Except now he also has to teach children. And he HATES IT. He canonically tries to murder an eleven year old. The guy who's his "love interest" (it's complicated) he hates. People try to give him a fix-it by giving him a baby and it's really cute, but he would not carry a goddamn fetus to term. He would not!!!!! He's having weekly abortions with the power of xianxia sex nonsense

In au's, they often have him give birth to Shen Yuan. There is no way this man who values his independence and control as fiercely as he does would give up his body or risk his already fractured cultivation (genre-specific magic system) for another creature. He is so self-hating, he would see the zygote as an extension of himself and hate that too.

he poured boiling hot tea on a child

I mean he basically aborted teenage binghe right?]

his ass should NOT have kids and i don't think he'd want them either

He does NOT like children, and even hates one of his disciples (he’s a teacher) to the extent he tried to blow the twelve-year-old up by giving him a fake magic textbook, and later basically dropkicked him off a cliff into hell. He would not want to raise a child or be pregnant, especially since he has a lot of traumatic hang-ups with regards to relationships anyway.

Lane Kim: She gets accidentally pregnant in Season 7 and is not happy about it, but because it’s a family show in the 2000s, no one ever suggests abortion as an option.

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Is everything going alright on your end? Or has this blog also been aborted?

this is a great question: yes it’s still going but i have been kinda overwhelmed with real life recently and i am horrible at remembering to do this blog. the last poll i posted is the final poll or round one and the round two polls should be coming out in the next few days!

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Group 4, Poll 16

Bill Cipher v Plankton v Bill Clinton

Bill Cipher - Gravity Falls

Plankton - Spongebob

Bill Clinton - Real Life

Voting ended onSep 3, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Bill Cipher: He HATES the idea of having kids canonically. Sees them as parasites in TBOB. I think he'd be conflicted only because of him being an endling but let's be honest. he'd abort that that thing so quickly and then get sad about it later.

Bill Cipher definitely aborts the baby after Ford Pines breaks off their situationship.

Bill is gay and would probably get an abortion cause of the amount of mpregs there are of him

Plankton: [NO PROPAGANDA SUBMITTED]

Bill Clinton: my friends made a pregnant Bill Clinton doll and I want that thing obliterated

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Group 4, Poll 14

Eleanor Kempen v Sada/Turo v Sherlock Holmes

Eleanor Kempen - Dark Rise

Professor Sada/Turo - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet

Sherlock Holmes - Moriarty the Patriot

Voting ended onSep 2, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Eleanor Kempen: She DID try to abort her kid but due to his magic she couldn't kill him. I don't care that the son in question is a favorite character of mine who I adore I just support women getting abortions no matter what. Kinda antifeminist of Will to not die in the womb imo :/

Professor Sada/Turo: Brother if you're going to neglect your kid that badly that they don't even know when you die, you probably shouldn't have had him in the first place

Sherlock Holmes: He would never want to go through pregnancy. He would be the worst father in the world due to his lifestyle—and he's self-aware enough to know that. He's an adrenaline junkie who endangers his life for seemingly no reason before the timeskip, and he's a respectable detective who keeps endangering his life for a good reason after the timeskip. Besides, he wouldn't want kids because he already has Baker Street Irregulars to get on his nerves. Please help him get an abortion!!!

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Group 4, Poll 15

Crow Mauler vs Lila Pitts vs Stede Bonnet

Crow Mauler - Fear and Hunger

Lila Pitts - The Umbrella Academy

Stede Bonnet - Our Flag Means Death

Voting ended onSep 1, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Crow Mauler: [NO PROPAGANDA SUBMITTED]

Lila Pitts: maybe she'd have had 1 kid, but no way she kept having more. she's a badass time traveling assassin and changing her into diego's baby mama was bull.

Stede Bonnet: He would NOT want to be pregnant

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Group 4, Poll 13

Yellowfang v Sherlock Holmes v Terri Schuster

Yellowfang - Warrior Cats

Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle

Terri Schuster - Glee

Voting ended onAug 31, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Yellowfang: She could not have raised those kits anyway, and she knew that. It would have spared her the agony of seeing her daughters die and giving her son away, unable to raise him, and watching him grow into a murderous dictator and eventually killing him.

Sherlock Holmes: [NO PROPAGANDA SUBMITTED]

Terri Schuster: faked a pregnancy to get her husband to stay with her and then wanted to adopt the child of her husband's 16 year old student. the fake pregnancy is the only thing holding the marriage together because once will finds out, he leaves her immediately

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Group 4, Poll 12

Lizardstripe v Charles Xavier v Rouge the Bat

Lizardstripe - Warrior Cats

Charles Xavier - X-Men

Rouge the Bat - Sonic the Hedgehog

Voting ended onAug 30, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Lizardstripe:

TW: Misogyny

Basically she didn’t want to be pregnant in the first place and feared feeling trapped in the nursery while having kits.

But her feelings for this are dismissed by others around her, stating that “It’s a duty of a queen (a.k.a. pregnant lady) to have children for her society”

There’s a lot more that should be said about misogynistic treatment and writing of Lizardstripe’s character within in the series for not wanting children (and why she would want a abortion)

But I’ll just link an detailed essay/ramble @/bonefall made about her character here:

Reblog by @bonefall · 9 images

💬 6  🔁 199  ❤️ 614 · Canon Lizardstripe · "Women who don't want children are terrible people and ambitious queens are a unique type of horri

Charles Xavier: He keeps getting written as the more ~effeminate~ out of the pairing of himself and Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto). I'm tired of him being made into the 'mom' of the pairing who's happy to get pregnant over and over again and raise the kids and effectively make a pairing between two men as heterosexual as possible. I want him to have the chance to efficiently and easily abort.

he would Not want to actually go through a pregnancy… he loves teaching sure and loves adopting but he would Not Want to be pregnant. abortion!

Rouge the Bat:

I love Rouge dearly, she's an icon, but she is self-centred and vain and in several very dangerous career paths (secret agent, jewel thief, treasure hunter, anti-Eggman fighter) and she already has her hands full keeping herself and her friends alive. You're telling me the woman whose best friends are the Ultimate Life Form (and most depressed boy) and a homicidal deadpan robot, who regularly tries to steal the keystone that keeps a landmass alive just because it's also a giant emerald, would have the mental energy or empathy to birth and raise a kid? Rouge's entire character theme is about not being tied down, and you know the ULTIMATE tether? Motherhood. Rouge will never have biological children and any orphans she finds will be fobbed off on others. Rouge will become a glamorous auntie-figure to whatever kids her FRIENDS have, but she will not be a good incubator or mother. (Besides, of her two standard heterosexual shipping partners, Knuckles is a monotreme and Shadow is a genetic abomination. Rouge is a normal anthropomorphic bat and I think she'd HAVE to abort because the spawn would not be viable.)

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Group 4, Poll 9

Dean Winchester vs Cersei Lannister vs Walter White

Dean Winchester - Supernatural

Cersei Lannister - Game of Thrones

Walter White - Breaking Bad

Voting ended onAug 19, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Dean Winchester: Look I know. I KNOW. He is the blueprint, the OG, I don’t even want to look at how many times this man has been impregnated on AO3. But look me in the eyes and tell me he would not have an emotion breakdown at the thought of childbearing. He is going to be terrified, he is going to repress it instead of examining it. He is going to have a panic kit full of Plan B in any universe where he is capable of pregnancy, and he is going to travel to the nearest safe state at the drop of a hat if he ever gets a positive pregnancy test. This man is simply not emotionally prepared for pregnancy, and that is Valid.

Cersei Lannister: Come on. We all saw the monster that was Joffery. Also, her 3 children were fathered by her twin brother, sooooo

Walter White: It would be so funny

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Cersei goes through to the second round of polls!

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Group 4, Poll 8

Leia Organa vs Viktor vs Joe Mama

Leia Organa - Star Wars

Viktor - Arcane

Joe Mama - Real Life

Voting ended onAug 18, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Leia Organa: Kylo Ren was a mistake

I hate Kylo Ren with a passion and I’m not even super into Star Wars

Viktor: lets be real. this man is too busy doing freaky science and trying not to die, he can't take care of a houseplant let alone a child. let him get some rest and get railed by jayce! he does not need another responsibility

This man has had so many health issues, a pregnancy would make everything even worse. Let him rest.

Joe Mama: Joe MAMA—

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Leia goes through to the second round of polls!

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Group 4, Poll 7

Miss Piggy vs Vash the Stampede vs Fulgrim

Miss Piggy - The Muppets

Vash the Stampede - Trigun

Fulgrim - Warhammer 40K

Voting ended onAug 17, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT (mildly nsft):

Miss Piggy: are you KIDDING it would cramp her style so severely. she is not fucking doing that

Vash the Stampede: he is kinda sorta homeless. and broke. also wanted dead or alive for 60 BILLION $$

Fulgrim: He'd probably have a repeat pregnancy kink and be very into it

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Miss Piggy goes through to the second round of polls!

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Group 4, Poll 6

Swaine v Glorian Shieldheart v All the Women in Village of the Damned

Swaine - Ni No Kuni

Glorian Shieldheart - The Roots of Chaos

All the Women in Village of the Damned - VOTD

Voting ended onAug 16, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Swaine: he would not fucking do that hes so bad with kids

Glorian Shieldheart: She only had a baby because of political reasons (her country's entire religion was based around the idea that if her family bloodline was not continued, the world would end). She hated, absolutely hated being pregnant and the way people treated her while she was pregnant. She had to give birth at eighteen. She should have never had to get pregnant, so the least I can do is submit to let her have an abortion.

All the Women in Village of the Damned: they got impregnated by an alien race and then immediately got to term. the whole plot of village of the damned would have been avoided if theyd just been able to abort them

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

All the women in Village of the Damned go through to the second round of polls!

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Group 4, Poll 5

Paige Duplass vs Avery Morgan

Paige Duplass - The Silt Verses

Avery Morgan - Doctor Odyssey

Voting ended onAug 15, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Paige Duplass: She created a god but it was not what she'd hoped for. I want her to get to be the first trans woman to abort her child.

Avery Morgan: She thinks she's preggo and suddenly goes from concentrating on medical school, giving up her relationships to get there, supposedly considering abortion but then oh nooo, can't possibly go through with it on American TV. Let Avery abort that thing!

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Avery Morgan goes through to the second round of polls!

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Abort That Thing Tournament: Group 4, Poll 4

Sakusa Kiyoomi vs Ging Freecs vs Jean Grey

Sakusa Kiyoomi - Haikyuu!!

Ging Freecs - Hunter X Hunter

Jean Grey - X Men

Voting ended onAug 12, 2025

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT:

Sakusa Kiyoomi: This man CANNOT stand dirt or things being dirty. He is always wearing a mask if he can. He is so autistic coded in the sense that he doesn't like to be touched or touch other people. This man would immediately be overwhelmed by a child and run away if he was asked to hold one. He is a professional volleyball player who does not have the time or energy to raise a whole ass child. Do Not believe the girlies in his Tumblr tag who write him as a father, bc he would abort that thang if he was the pregnant one.

Ging Freecs: Now it's debated weither or not he did give birth to Gon (the main character of Hunter X Hunter) however it is majoritarly accepted by the fandom that it's a possibility (the dude is insane, check the story if you're curious) but long story short, he created a magical thing to get anything ( therefore also himself) pregnant. So the idea of him creating it, getting pregnant then realising it was a terrible idea and aborting the main character is hilarious.

Jean Grey: They keep giving her time travel kids and it's time to nip that in the bud.

[abort-that-thing-tournament]

Jean Grey goes through to the second round of polls!