i promise im not dead qq lifes been hard the past few weeks for me and its taking a toll on my mental health and now my laptops keyboard is giving me problems as well. i didn’t forget about isola and ill try and get stuff done soon
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@aboyandtheircurse
i promise im not dead qq lifes been hard the past few weeks for me and its taking a toll on my mental health and now my laptops keyboard is giving me problems as well. i didn’t forget about isola and ill try and get stuff done soon
"if you die, i'm gonna kill you, frank."
“–od?”
The world spins into existence at a speed that should be illegal. For a second, Frank feels like he’s upside down.
“Hey. I said, are you good?”
Cracking an eye open feels like it involves the bones in his skull being pried apart, but Frank does it regardless. Beyond the pile of garbage bags he’s laying in the middle of, he’s met with the sight of Wade leaning over him, one elbow braced on the side of the dumpster. They extend a boot to nudge him, but - blessedly, considering his state - don’t do more than brush the sleeve of his coat. “What happened this time? It’s always one of us.” They put their hands on their hips and sigh despondently. “We really gotta stop meeting like this.”
Frank licks his teeth and some of them feel all too much like wet gravel. There’s way too much blood / drool involved in speech, but he manages. “Shut up and help me stand.” He wants to be snappy, but there’s no spirit in it at the moment. The best he can do is hope it isn’t as pathetic as it feels. Head trauma can do that to a man.
With some effort, Wade helps him to his feet, and they begin shuffling in the direction of his nearest safehouse. It’s a slow process - one of his knees feels about the same as his teeth do, and the height difference between him and Wade makes sharing his weight difficult. His mind gets blurry, but he’s distantly aware of Wade speaking. Most of it he can’t follow, thanks to the multiple home run shots to his head, but he responds to what snippets he catches. Mostly they chatter, and mostly he grunts instead of forming sentences.
“If you die, I’m gonna kill you, Frank.”
He tries to snort, but it comes out as a disgusting attempt to spit a mouthful of his own blood on the sidewalk. Most of it misses by miles and winds up on what’s left of his shirt.
“Please,” he rasps. “Like I’d die behind a fucking Olive Garden.”
It gets a laugh out of Wade, who’s all too concerned for his comfort. He’s briefly grateful for the head trauma - he won’t have to examine why someone would be concerned for him, and probably won’t remember it later. But Wade is grateful he’s making jokes, dry as they may be. It means he’ll make it through this beating, just like he always does. And always will, Wade hopes.
injvre
whose THAT fat dog
✚
Send ✚ for a HEALTH headcanon.
well! they do have cancer. like a lot of it. and they still do have a lot of that cancer. skin cancer, bone cancer, liver cancer, brain cancer. the cool thing, is, they also have a healing factor that constantly gets rid of it. but then they immediately contract it. but then it immediately is gotten rid of. and so... on and so forth.
okay so wades heath sucks. like big time. a lot of the time they’re in anywhere from mildly tolerable pain to ‘i need to sit down and not see direct sunlight or anyone else for three days’ pain. i don’t even have any kind of headcanon to add onto this because.. idk. the comic explains it pretty thoroughly.
the only thing i really have to say about it is they have a mild to hugely problematic drinking problem to deal with it. because what else do you do for that.
♕♆✄
Headcanon meme || Still accepting!
Send ♕ for a CHILDHOOD headcanon.
oh jeez. thats hard becs so much of wades childhood for them is missing and what Is there is uh.. super not nice.
but lets do something actually nice!wades.. deceptively older than what they look and tbh i hc them as a kid / tween in the 60s. so they were around for the golden birth of television! like im pretty sure the tv was a more nurturing parental than their actual parents. their favorite shows, us wise, were the beverly hillbillies, the man from U.N.C.L.E, twilight zone, munsters, all the good old shit like that. in comics? they’re shown watching Cap’s uso shows? And whatnot? but the first modern television didn’t.. really take off until 47. And the war ended in 45. So maybe reruns of that? idk. point is the kid was also a huge superhero geek.
Send ♆ for a BODY headcanon.
oh man. i’ve got art for this one so lets put it under a cut! lmao.
Headcanons
Send ✚ for a HEALTH headcanon.
Send ♕ for a CHILDHOOD headcanon.
Send ✿ for a HAPPINESS headcanon.
Send ␛ for an ANGER headcanon.
Send ♆ for a BODY headcanon.
Send ϡ for a MENTAL STATE headcanon.
Send ღ for a LOVE/SEXUALITY headcanon.
Send † for a RELIGION headcanon.
Send ✄ for a PET PEEVE headcanon.
Send ☂ for a FOOD headcanon.
“Just once.”
Very rarely do Frank and Wade share the same stomping grounds.
It’s not that Wade hates New York [ they do ] or that Frank is an extensive traveler [ he’s not ], it’s just that they typically don’t cross paths that often because of their respective jobs. So when they do, especially while on the clock, Wade makes it their life mission to bother him if they’ve got time to spare. Which they typically do.
But this time wasn’t exactly a social visit. Wade had been caught up in the same exact shebang Frank was planning on crashing, and with their astronomically terrible luck, had been caught in numerous crossfires. They felt a little more like swiss cheese than a mercenary, truth be told. And they did tell Frank. Who seemed to be unrepentant that they got caught in the middle.
Part of the job.
After a sufficient amount of whining about being in pain and the amount of bullets they’d have to pass and/or pull out, Wade managed to get Frank to agree to letting them stay in one of his safe houses. Maybe they caught him on a decent day or for once they hit that soft, secret pity center.
Or maybe Frank just plain ol’ liked the weird little man.
Hard to tell sometimes. The guy was difficult to read emotionally. But they weren’t going to look a gift horse in his mouth. They’d been in the middle of a tirade about how Blanche wasn’t treated fairly by the rest of the girls and that there absolutely wasn’t anything wrong with her social activity level when they’d finally arrived to the safehouse.
And they ran smack into Frank’s shoulder. When did he stop walking? Before they could gripe at him, he spoke in that usual cat paw soft kinda way that they hated.
“Just this once, Wade. You’re gone by morning.”
Shitty terms to agree to, but what could they do. “You got it, big guy. Long enough to be less of a walking crime locker and I’ll be gone. You’ll never know I was here. If you have a towel I’ll even clean up my own mess.”
Frank didn’t seem as amused as them by their own chattering but his frown did lessen a little and that had to count for something.
REBLOG IF YOU WANT ANONS
Every time I do this I get weird af anons n I love it 🐝🐝🐝
“So, I found this waterfall… and we should do backflips off it."
Normally, Wade would agree.
But they’re kind of at an impasse, here. Water shenanigans usually meant they’d have to either deal with a waterlogged suit for how long or decide to go commando. Neither felt like great options, currently. Not that they hated Lupin or anything, acquaintances, sure, but bearing their weird burnt salami slab of a body usually meant being at least level 15 friends.
Or a copious amount of liquor on the other persons behalf. The former half was just they’re whiny and they didn’t feel like dealing with soggy leather and neoprene.
“Uh! Sounds super rad, tour de lance. Just. I guess tell me a time and a place and I’ll meet you there? I gotta see a man about a dog before that, but you’re totally invited to see how flippable that waterfall is, first.”
Yeah. That was smooth. Just sound like a wiener about it. Nobody questions you when you’re weird about it.
“Btw, where are you that you managed to find a waterfall in this place? Last I saw it was super suburbian nightmare and there wasn’t any real landscape to behold beauty wise. And I really don’t wanna know what kind of waterfalls we find in the busted buildings and pipes of this place...”
‘ the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you today? ’
* interview the muse || still accepting
“I like how you specified today. Puts real faith in me.”
“Uh... lets see. Considering I didn’t sleep, and instead stared up at my ceiling for a full 8 business hours, not a whole lot happening there. But as soon as I got out of bed to be a productive member of society, I did trip over my cat and eat complete shit. That’s not any real news but then the problem became I whacked my face on my door frame and ate at least three of my teeth.
“Duchess is unrepentant in these trying times.”
@aboyandtheircurse Tiramisu is 1, better than cake, and 2, is literally the evolved form of cheap instant espresso. It’s a step PAST cake.
One truth and one lie?
* interview the muse || still accepting
“As hard as it is to believe, I have been married several times- and yes to willing parties. All absolutely lovely women, of great moral fiber. It’s just a shame that I was never able to procreate with any of them. Can you imagine? The pitter patter of little merc feet?”
"Name a guilty pleasure."
* interview the muse
“I mean. I guess that entirely depends on what your definition of ‘guilty pleasure’ is? Everything everyone universally agrees upon that is in the ‘suck’ tier of life I tend to really, really like. Like teenage bubblegum pop. [ That being said, buy E MO TION on iTunes. ] So like.. that being said, what’s even left?”
“Sports? I guess? To not be stereotypical I really fuckin’ love hockey. But ggggod hockey fans blow, so I tend to keep it to myself.”
send me a pairing and a number and i'll write you a drabble
“Come over here and make me.”
“Have you lost your damn mind!?”
“Please, don’t leave.”
“Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?”
“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”
“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”
“I almost lost you.”
“Wanna bet?”
“Don’t you ever do that again!”
“Teach me how to play?”
“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”
“I think we need to talk.”
“Kiss me.”
“Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
“So, I found this waterfall…”
“It could be worse.”
“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”
“This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”
“The paint’s supposed to go where?”
“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”
“We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?”
“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”
“Just once.”
“You’re the only one I trust to do this.”
“I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
“I got you a present.”
“I’m pregnant.”
“Marry me?”
“I thought you were dead.”
“It’s not what it looks like…”
“You lied to me.”
“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”
“Please don’t do this.”
“If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”
“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”
“I wish I could hate you.”
“Wanna dance?”
“You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”
“Hey! I was gonna eat that!”
“Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”
“You did all of this for me?”
“I swear it was an accident.”
“YOU DID WHAT?!”
“If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”
“Tell me a secret.”
“Hey, have you seen the..? Oh.”
“No one needs to know.”
“Boo.”
“Well this is awkward…”
Writer’s preference
* interview the muse
‘ do you miss anyone? ’
‘ how are you doing? ’
‘ do you believe in ghosts? ’
‘ what makes you laugh? ’
‘ list your top three bands or singers. ’
‘ how many blankets do you sleep with? ’
‘ does your name hold any special meaning to you? ’
‘ gum, cake, pie or ice cream? ’
‘ favorite book? ’
‘ are you a good person? ’
‘ describe love. ’
‘ have you ever taken part in an uprising? ‘
‘ favorite song? ’
‘ name a guilty pleasure. ’
‘ the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you today? ’
‘ tell me one truth and one lie. ’
‘ do you like people? ’
‘ what motivates you? ’
‘ describe the perfect weekend. ’
‘ any pet peeves? ’
‘ do you need a hug? ’
‘ would you like to have kids? ’
‘ do you have any tattoos? ’
‘ classical, oldies, punk, hip hop or country? ’
‘ when was the last time you cried? ’
‘ are you religious? ’
lockpicklupin:
The awful squawk the cat makes is almost as bad as the shriek he makes when his apparent neighbor jabs him in the side. He nearly falls off right then… and loses his sandwich to a multiple storey fall. Before he answers, Lupin mournfully watches the sandwich become a smear on the pavement. “You were too good to die,” he mock-whispers with a hand to his chest.
“Hi, neighbor. Let’s sum thid up fast: no I’m not jumping, I thought this was my window and that I could watch the eclipse from here,” Liar. “…. but I miscounted. I actually have to say I kind of love it here. Could use more cafes to hang out at, though, so I don’t end up blocking your view with what little European butt I have.”
The cat seems unbothered by his shrieking and may possibly mourn the sandwich being dropped more than Lupin does. However, she does at least wander back into the house to find something or someone else to harass for food, leaving Wade to their interrogation.
“The eclipse? Right. The eclipse. The one that happens nearly every single day in this place and that you can totally see from any kind of vantage point.” They seem to not be buying what this guy is trying to sell, if the blank yet somehow disinterested look on their masked face is any indication.
“Thennnnn maybe involve yourself in the reconstruction of the city? And there’ll be as many dorky cafes as you can handle. Until then, don’t expect coffee from this place. I don’t even know who else is in here and I’m not a huge fan of the soup anyway. But also, what kind of criminal are you if you can’t do basic counts?
“I get the distinct feeling you’re a chronic beefer. I don’t know if I can handle that kind of bad luck.”
injvre:
Human beings liked routines - even paranoid ones on several wanted lists. For as much effort as Frank put into avoiding common routes and travelling to his various destinations in the most indirect ways, the fact of the matter was that he still had his favorite diners. Maybe he didn’t always go at the same time, or on the same day… But whenever the chance came up in his punishing schedule and he was really jonesing for a bacon cheeseburger, he ended up here. The burgers were great, the coffee was awful in the right kind of way he liked, and the waitstaff didn’t bother him. He couldn’t ask for more.
The bell jingles over his head as he enters, pulling one hand from the pocket of his jacket to snag a newspaper. When Gena looks up to see who’s entered, she recognizes him immediately. She’ll know what he wants, which means he won’t have to go through the hassle of ordering - waiting, talking to someone, hearing about the special, and so on. The less social interaction is involved, the better.
He can tell from the door that his usual booth is occupied. It’s mildly annoying - he likes it for the vantage point and it means not having people behind him - but it’s fine. Frank’s not worried about any incidents tonight, since he’s done with his business for the night and he’s sure no one followed him. Just as he decides to sit at one of the barstools at the end of the counter (even if the Sox fan is irritating), he realizes exactly who is in his usual spot. Maybe this is fine after all. It’s been a while since they’ve met up and had a burger.
Instead of opting for the stools at the counter, he walks to the end of the diner and slides into the seat across from Wade nearly silently, as though they had planned on meeting up. “Hey,” Frank mutters in his gravel-for-breakfast voice,. As he sits, he deposits his newspaper on the vinyl seat behind him. It’s not likely he’ll be reading it over his meal now, but that doesn’t bother him any.
Though it’s hard to see her around Frank until he’s sat down, Gena follows not far behind him holding two cups of coffee instead of the one Wade asked for. “Your usual?” She asks Frank, raising her eyebrows above the cat eye glasses. Frank gives her a quiet “yes ma’am,” and she turns to Wade for their order as well.
The jam packet they were currently focused on stacking clattered out of their hands and across the table as Frank said something to them. The guy was rarely ever loud enough to genuinely frighten them, but it was mostly in the vein of not expecting anyone else to come near them. Wade glanced over at him with yellowed eyes, scanned the restaurant quickly and then looked back at Frank.
“Hey, yourself.” They responded, as quietly as they could manage. Which wasn’t actually that quietly, and sounded they’d been munching on gravel just as Frank was coming in. They nodded and smiled at Gena, no usual grin, and then made a mild show about pretending like they’re thinking about what they want to eat.
“Gonna ask about the chicken but that usually seems like a tuesday thing.. Tell you what. Let me get a burger, egg on the side, and a side of hashbrowns and I’ll save you the call to Sarah McLochlan and assemble it myself once you go back to your post.” They were mildly smug about their joke but Gena seemed less impressed, if the harsh tap of her pen on her notebook was any indication.
Once she was gone, Wade turned back to Frank. “You look good, Frank. Glad to see you’re at least staying alive.”
After that one comment, they were quiet and let Frank set the tone on just exactly how much talking they’d be doing on this surprise meetup, content to dumbly flub their still healing hands around and mess with condiments. It’s not that Wade didn’t want to talk to Frank, quite the opposite actually, but they knew the guy wasn’t big on small talk. They weren’t sure what kinda night he’s had. They have a guess, given that he’s the fucking Punisher and all, but they can only guess so far.
Sometimes you just don’t wanna talk about the weather after eviscerating dudes. That’s valid. I mean, they cannot relate in any way shape or form, but it’s valid.