Lexiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

she/her | lesbiab | meteorolgy/flight | back on my bs again!

[absolute-total-nonsense]

my airplane is the bassist of the aviation world

[jibunbosh]

My trainer told me the Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe keeps ending his trainees' careers so I asked how many trainees he has and he said he just goes to Tracen and gets a new trainee afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding Umamusume to the French and then Forever Young started crying.

[henstomper]

imposter syndrome is so funny like fuuuuck i hope nobody finds out im tricking people into thinking im competent by knowing things and doing them

[jibunbosh]

i am running races because i am fucking Rhein Kraft

I am winning races because I am fucking Rhein Kraft

ohhhh my god is that a

fucking mare

[melody-sy-deactivated20260424]

between this "mane n' tail" shampoo and this "hard as hoof" nail strengthening cream im beginning to suspect that someone out there may be plotting to turn me into a horse

[femcelification]

[MTL from umareader jp]

karl marx if he was alive: i'm quite fond of sirius symboli

[femcelification]

this sirius voiceline goes hard

[jibunbosh]

i havent played the project l'arc scenario but i imagine it goes like this

(everyone fucking loses the l'arc)

cafe: ...

sirius: ...

el: ...

cafe: (taking a sip of coffee) why do we concern ourselves with these overseas races, anyway?

nakayama: ...

cafe: ...I get it. Japanese racing has always been an offshoot of Western convention, right? even though umamusume have been present in Japan for all of history, it wasn't until the 1800s that the first race that we would recognize as "keiba" was hosted here—by a group of British nationals, no less.

cafe: and the umamusume of Japan still have yet to be recognized on the international stage, right? when the Japan Cup first opened in 1981, a race in Japan that invited umamusume from abroad to participate, the winning of international horses 3 years in a row was perceived as a wake-up call for Japan that they needed to rethink how their umamusume trained in order to compete against athletes abroad. Ace won that. but we still feel we need to win on foreign turf too, right? as they have.

cafe: so we flock to the l'arc, hoping to win the prestigious race - the URA's white whale. we never have. even though our destinies call for us to be here. even as my friend whispers to me... we come here time and time again, and we might get incredibly close... but never close enough. we exhaust ourselves with the burden of international travel in a land unfamiliar to us all, with odds stacked against us, just in hopes that we'll be seen as "good enough" in the eyes of the West.

cafe: why is this our fate? leaping into the maws of the beast, spending our precious youth on a race that we cannot win? even though we return home afterwards, it is with our heads hung low, our spirits broken, feeling as if destiny is inescapable. if our destiny is to be sent West, is it, too, our destiny to be eaten alive...?

Forever Young: everyuma i just won the fucking breeders cup in america baby

golshi: my woman [rotoscoped animation of golshi dapping her up]

[absolute-total-nonsense]

Hello! Ms. Tachyon sent me your way. I have a question for you. I’ve recently become enamored with Japanese horse racing because of my interest in Uma Musume. How does one “get into” Japanese horse racing and keep up with the sport?

Your best friends as you start your Japanese Horse Racing Journey (or keiba 競馬) are going to be Netkeiba and the Japanese Bloodstock Informatjon System (JBIS). Both of these are English translated and fairly easy to navigate databases of Japanese horses, their pedigrees, and their race accomplishments. Netkeiba’s database in particular is great for keeping up with current races, as they have easily navigable results pages and race schedules as well as some English-language articles. JBIS is great for surfing pedigrees especially if you’re interested in the progeny of a specific historical horse. The website Idol Horse provides some great articles for Japanese and Hong Kong racing and is super informative for catching up to where current impressions in the racing world are. The JRA YouTube channel also posts replays of all JRA graded races a few hours after they happen, and they have English commentary uploads and historic races as well (this year’s English playlist linked). Turf Parfait on YouTube also does excellent translations for historical races, focusing on the real-life races portrayed by umamusume.

If you’re willing to jump into the world of Japanese-only websites and content, Ahoonora has been a great help to me finding race results from horses that ran before ~1985 as well as some of the results from Dirt and Non-JRA horses. On YouTube, KTV also has a large archive of historic races, but some of them (especially recent races) may need a VPN to Japan to access them.

Enjoy and love the horses!! If you have any other questions or just wanna chat horses I’m always down to talk!

[absolute-total-nonsense]

hands you a juicebox

Schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp

[dorothykeenersleftdoinker]

my girl is adjusting my roll, pitch, AND yaw. you wish you had what i had

[absolute-total-nonsense]

who up letting me control them with a yoke

[jibunbosh]

[jibunbosh]

i think if you are a speedrunner and you make a summoning salt style video based on your games speedrun history and you talk about your own runs, you have to refer to yourself in third person. otherwise it just feels weird

[absolute-total-nonsense]

🛫 take flight!

[absolute-total-nonsense]

How it feels booting up the uma musume game

[acerby]

Isn't Robo Estrogen Amazing!

[acerby]

I made a squeal.

Im trying to be kinder to my past self so made this.

[depsidase]

[shamebats]

[image ID: TikTok comment by Spedubopy: I once had a german bouncer look at my pre transition-ID and then back at me and just go "ja das ist an improvement" /end ID]