who let a cat in here???

hi i'm jem and this is my fnaf sideblog *jackass theme begins playing* ~(=^ↀωↀ^=)シ my main is nekoisadumbname and my artblog is jemthecat

[jemthecat]

Sun tuts and closes your fingers with his own, enfolding your hand in his. “Careful now,” he murmurs. His eyes are half-lidded, perhaps growing tired of your clumsiness. “Are you still tired? Don’t go losing any more, there’s a pet.”

from chapter 14 of There Are Many Benefits (To Rethinking This Career Path) by @moonliched

i have been thinking about this scene since i read it!! those two smug fishy bastards tag-teaming Meryn like that was truly diabolical my god. this shit made me feral and also made me giggle and kick my feet and also start climbing the curtains.

which is to say: wonderful job keep up the good work 👍

[nekoisadumbname]

you know what? cringe is dead and if this is what it takes to get me to draw more i'll take it!! *works on my dumbass cat self insert au*

[acatinthearcade]

i have been having Thoughts

[acatinthearcade]

ok but i wanna see a y/n who tells every mean customer it's their first day even tho they've been there for six months

[acatinthearcade]

au idea: u get hired to write new jokes for the comedy bot in the theater :)

maybe ur really unassuming normally and don't really give off comedian vibes but once in The Comedy Zone™️ you've got some real stage presence

you've never done anything seriously, maybe a few open mike nights at a bar or two, but a friend that works at the plex put a good word in for you and somehow management went for it?? let's not question it

at first it's just a few extra jokes in the comedian bot's roster. nothing too much, just some test jokes seeing if your material is the right vibe for the plex. moon notices on his patrols and they wonder whats up.

you get the green light and start working on a set (maybe multiple small ones? idk how comedy works. maybe management expects you to do a bunch and it freaks you out?)

you think to do themed sets about the games or food or attractions or whatevs so you try and get The Full Faz Experience and it is A Lot

you stop by the daycare at some point cuz ur overwhelmed or stressed or smthn and end up talking with the dca about ur Troubles and they're like "oh that was u? loved the jokes ggs" and you end up becoming buds :)

you come to them for advice or critique or just to chat and they encourage you to talk to the other animatronics for some anecdotes and stuff

maybe at some point you think about how the comedy bot is too stiff in it's movements and convince a tech to help you program in some looser manerisms to make it's performances better. maybe the tech is ur buddy that got u the job? and they base those mannerisms off u :)

at some point u do your own routine either for just the dca or for all ur work friends (animatronic and human)

ok thats all i got rn this is just fluff and nothing cuz idk how to make Real Stakes in my aus lmao

[jemthecat]

[muffled "here comes the ~*boy*~" playing on repeat in my head]

[jemthecat]

hello it is i, the fool who thought hatching this whole thing was a good idea!

between that and trying desperately to figure out the logistics of that wire i wanted to bite this so so bad but i prevailed 😌

[acatinthearcade]

thinks so so deeply about my very stupid au where everything is the same but u r a cat

i love it played straight but also love the "what if the cat is some sort of fae creature that uses a glamour to look human but it doesn't work on fuking robots?" variant because it has so much potential for wacky hijinks :3c

[nekoisadumbname]

when u are a big gay idiot for your blorbos and you buy things just cuz they remind u of them reblog if u agree 😔

[acatinthearcade]

these were a targeted attack ok this is entrapment i'm being bullied )':

[jemthecat]

draws the fuking blorbos instead of sleeping 😔

[acatinthearcade]

trying desperately to make myself draw the blorbos but all i can do is draw my silly dumb cat au 😔

[acatinthearcade]

so the dca has a stupid skinny waist, right? like no hips to speak of, yeah? certifiably cakeless, correct? sun ass isn't real and can't hurt me so what if their pants are just.... held up with magnets? 🤔

everybody's got all these situations where they come home with u and u give them new clothes or whatevs but what if every pair of pants you get them falls down no matter what u do? and ur getting so so frustrated and are at the brink of learing how to tailor clothes yourself and ur like why is this so hard?? your jester pants stayed on fine!!! and they just go "oh yeah its probs cuz of the magnets :)" and u just stare at them for a while and need to take a breather

and then u order neodymium magnets online to sew into their clothes, as one does

[acatinthearcade]

au where instead of just his blank white eyes sun gets a pair of sunglasses that pop on like moon's nightcap does

[acatinthearcade]

fukign full of dumb stupid ideas for cat y/n lmao

a cat gets hired in the daycare. it has an employee name badge and everything. is this a joke? is management mocking them??

....ok but the cat is like really good with the kids? how is this cat mediating toddler arguments???? the day goes smoothly with a cat encouraging children to calm down and give it pets.

they assume clean up will be all up to them as usual but.... they looked away to put a toy back and when they turned back the tables were cleaned? the cat is Looking at them from a craft table. clean up goes like that, they look away and the cat cleans things somehow???

at the end of shift the cat gives them some very stronk leg rubbs as goodbye and slips out of the daycare. moon follows it and sees it clock out??? what in the goddamn......

at some point they start regularly giving the cat pets and oh hey the healing power of Cat works on robots! their stress levels are greatly reduced

also at some point they find out the cat is a diversity hire

my favorite version of this shit is Everyone Else Thinks This Is Normal and it is just. a cat treated as a regular employee. no explanation.

other explanations that intrigue me are:

the cat is some sort of shapeshifter but its glamour only works on humans so all the animatronics just see a fukin cat and think everybody has lost their minds (i love this a lot actually)

in the future fnaf is set in cats have just. become citizens.

i feel like i had more but it’s 6am and i can’t remember lmao goodbye

[jemthecat]

i haven't drawn anything nearly all year and this is how i break my streak..... smh my head 😔

i was reading chapter 9 of @bamsara 's fic, Solar Lunacy and this scene made me think of the fukin "you may spank it, once" meme and then i went temporarily insane and stayed up till 5am to draw this lol :))))

[acatinthearcade]

Jem and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Idea :)