crawl out from your skin and scream into me

gemma | 22 | she/they | queer | my shitty writing + art + other stuff that i enjoy

[afterthemovie]

hello everyone. my name is harrowhark nonagesimus welcome to my meal. i have never cooked before but god asked me to try because he wants us all to eat & exist in union <3 of course i will oblige him because i harrowhark nonagesimus am the most devout worshipper of the locked tomb and the king undying. first up on the menu is soup. i hate flavours so i didn’t put any salt or anything. but don’t worry i put something better :) haha you guessed it! i sectioned my tibia and put it in the soup :) yeah :) so i can explode people :)

[loveridden1999]

to the young who want to die by gwendolyn brooks

[acatnamedvirtue]

i finally finished my undergrad!

of course the most logical next step is to get wine-drunk and finish writing a kingdon fic i had started last summer LOL

[divorcedfranklangdon]

incapable of not looking at each other at all times

[acatnamedvirtue]

first ep. post jesse ICE abduction has me feeling horrible and distraught

FREE MY MAN!

dr. j better get that video circulating NOW! use the power of being gen z, vic!

[chaoticfandomthings]

Dr Cassie McKay has never been wrong about anything ever in her life

[acatnamedvirtue]

she is my guiding light my shining star my glimmer of hope in the darkness

she has so clearly found her calling as a healer and i hope someday she's running that ER like she deserves

[ovaryacted]

I love you Cassie McKay.

I love you Dana Evans.

I love you Emma Nolan. (I will kill that white man for you my love.)

I love you Samira Mohan. (I will kill that white man for you my love.)

I love you Trinity Santos. (I will jump somebody for you my love.)

I love you Victoria Javadi. (I’m gonna get you into the club!)

I love you Baran Al-Hashimi. (Pick up your phone bae I’ve been calling…)

I love you Melissa King.

I love you Joy Kwon.

I love you Parker Ellis. (Please respond to your texts bae I need to speak to you in private…)

I love you Perlah Alawi.

I love you Princess Dela Cruz.

I love you nurse Kim Tate.

I love you Lupe Perez. (You’re a real one.)

I love you Emery Walsh. (Pls come back bae.)

I love you Heather Collins. (I miss you so bad friend.)

I love you Kiara Alfaro. (You are so missed.)

I surprisingly like you Yolanda Garcia. (No shade.)

I love you women of The Pitt. You are everything to me.

[japril]

stares into the camera like i am on the office

[acatnamedvirtue]

listen, i am by no means a santos hater. i understand her and how keeping information secret just for the sake of someone who was obviously horrible to her is running her down and isn't fair.

i also cannot stand how her base instinct is punitive justice. drug addiction is an extremely complicated and difficult disease, and it can lead to criminalized acts because the literal act of existing as a drug addict is criminalized.

what langdon doesn't need is to be humiliated by his entire workplace knowing every detail about the incident that prompted his recovery. what he does need is empathy and a sense of normalcy, just as mckay said to ogilvie while working with the street team patient.

what santos doesn't need is to fuel the cop inside her head that is telling her that all her problems will be solved if langdon goes to jail. what she does need is an actual support system that can recognize the damage done to her by this situation and provide her with the care she needs.

i think everyone needs to KILL THE COPS IN THEIR HEADS. punitive justice will not solve every problem. it barely solves the problems that it does. what will solve problems is mutual aid, decriminalization, and harm reduction.

[acatnamedvirtue]

i’ll also add to this that i’m critical of her jumping to punitive justice in all scenarios, not just langdon. she is so sensitive to scenarios where someone is being hurt or mistreated which is good! and it comes from her lived experience and desire to make sure that what happened to her and her deceased friend doesn’t happen again, which is understandable and (honestly) honourable.

but i worry about her tendency to think in black and white and to seek out punishment as a first step.

now i’m moving into analysis mode but i think it’s a reflection of some deep guilt she has inside of her. i think it’s what she thinks she herself deserves (re: self-harm, self-deprecation). and it’s scary! and she needs to see a therapist! and she needs to learn about conflict management!

and it’s okay that she’s not there yet, but she sure as hell needs to address that at some point because her desire to help can actually be harmful in the way she approaches it.

[acatnamedvirtue]

listen, i am by no means a santos hater. i understand her and how keeping information secret just for the sake of someone who was obviously horrible to her is running her down and isn't fair.

i also cannot stand how her base instinct is punitive justice. drug addiction is an extremely complicated and difficult disease, and it can lead to criminalized acts because the literal act of existing as a drug addict is criminalized.

what langdon doesn't need is to be humiliated by his entire workplace knowing every detail about the incident that prompted his recovery. what he does need is empathy and a sense of normalcy, just as mckay said to ogilvie while working with the street team patient.

what santos doesn't need is to fuel the cop inside her head that is telling her that all her problems will be solved if langdon goes to jail. what she does need is an actual support system that can recognize the damage done to her by this situation and provide her with the care she needs.

i think everyone needs to KILL THE COPS IN THEIR HEADS. punitive justice will not solve every problem. it barely solves the problems that it does. what will solve problems is mutual aid, decriminalization, and harm reduction.

[wildandgreen]

robby can lash out in self-hatred and be a misogynist at the same time. robby can be written to be purposefully hypocritical and incidentally misogynistic at the same time. robby can be suffering from ptsd and be a misogynist at the same time. “actually the point is he’s lashing out because he sees himself in samira and hates it” correct. AND he’s being misogynistic while he’s at it

[sammy-bryant]

[meternicole]

When I first met her I just called her First, One. She had a real name, but I buried it with her, and nobody says it anymore.

[acatnamedvirtue]

sick as fuckkk

[edalynn-ink]

GtN: Gideon has the BEST three months of her LIFE and then DIES

HtN: Harrow has the WORST nine months of her LIFE and then DIES

Ntn: Nona has THE six months of her LIFE and then BECOMES The Creature (dies?)

[acatnamedvirtue]

have i been here before?

the weight of you

i feel it in my ribs

pressure causing lungs to contract

muscle tightening then exploding out

air rushing in 

and i am breathing you

this husky heady smell

it clings to me like smoke

lingers on sheets and clothes

like a phantom limb

something there but not

i need you in my gut

never been the hungry kind

but the organ churns 

eating itself inside out

biding time until it’s sated

until the weight is back

hands like cinder blocks

tied to feet that willingly walk

into the water

[weltenwellen]

Hanif Abdurraqib, "Glamor on the West Streets / Silver Over Everything"

[acatnamedvirtue]

my favourite thing about nona the ninth is that camilla wears gideon’s sunglasses when they meet with BOE so that they can’t see their eyes switch when palamedes takes over.

it’s such a small detail and SO GOOD.