aros don’t even *need* representation. i’m serious. but we do need a media and culture that respects women and doesn’t paint being a girlfriend/wife an intrinsic part of womanhood. don’t make this about something as inconsequential as a romantic identity.
Hi
Sorry, but what on…
I dont think talking about aros helps fight sexism. Hey, lets still talk about, thats great, but im tired of seeing aromantics take female characters who arent romantically available on demand or for the benefit of men and slap the aromantic label on her. If anything that normalizes that the majority of women *should* be romantically available in socially acceptable levels if its so inconceivable for alloromantic women to not pair with every man who she digs or isnt into marriage. And thats sexist in itself.
Talk about aromantic stuff all you want. Headcanon ppl as aromantic all you want. Appreciate aromantic visibility all you want. But no one is shat on for being aromantic. We’re shat on because of patriarchy and thats a billion times more important. Making a female character aromantic is not a feminist act and will never be. I want female characters who date because theyre independent and dont need men. i want female characters who are partnered and their stories show how coercing men can be and abusive marriage is. we need these things. aromantic representation is nice but not needed.
"…no one is shat on for being aromantic." I, like many other aromantics, have felt as though there is something wrong with me for most of my life because I’m aromantic. I’ve felt broken and abnormal for most of my life. When I realized I was aromantic, I had to overcome (and still am overcoming) years of internalized amatonormativity. My identity is not recognized as valid by many, many people, both straight and LGBT+/MOGAI.
We’re not talking about aros…to fight sexism. Yes, fighting sexism is extremely, extremely, extremely important. Yes, feminism is extremely important. But why should it be any more or less important than fighting amatonormativity and aromantics?? Making a female character aromantic is no more of a feminist act than making a female character bisexual or a lesbian, nor is it trying to be. We just want representation! You can have both strong, independent romantic female characters and aromantic female characters.
We’re desperately clinging on to the little amount of representation we can find and we’re being told that doing so is sexist? Really? This is getting ridiculous. OP, maybe you want women who don’t need men and have abusive marriages — fine. Personally, I want to see women that don’t need men because they’re aro. I want to see women whose relationships are abusive because their partner can’t get their head around aromanticism. I want to see women for whom men don’t factor into the equation at all. I want to see women being women in all shapes and forms, and that includes aro women.
thatonearomantic has explained how we’re ‘shat on’ better than I ever could,so I won’t go into that. But I would like to say one thing: we do need representation, and the fact that you’re saying it would just be ‘nice’ shows how little you understand that and everything we’ve said. Go back to your aro-exclusive feminism and leave us to fight for what we find important, because what we do isn’t affecting what you’re trying to do — we have too little representation/visibility to impact anything you’re doing.
yeah and what's up with saying having an identity is inconsequential. and "no one is shat on for being aro?" when i came out to people, i was told: to go to therapy, i was broken, i was a sociopath, i was lying, and I hadn't met the right person. I've lost friends for being aro and am terrified to come out to my family because i know they will neither believe or accept me. Oh and the fact that my entire life I thought something was wrong with me. So, yeah. Abolishing sexism is important- duh. But, really, there's no need to piss on a minority for scraping up from the bottom and trying to find what little representation they can. I'm aromantic AND an avid feminist, thanks. If your definition of feminism includes shitting over ANY minority, just because your narrow-minded feminism can't see why that's problematic, please consider re-evaluating your feminism.
