Conquer Your Fear of Public Speaking
More dreaded than the "forgetting to wear clothes to school" dream, my recurring nightmare involves giving a public speech - but I’ve forgotten my lines. Even in the dream world I can’t escape my fear of public speaking.
But public speaking isn’t something to be afraid of. Rather, it’s something you can conquer with the help of a coach. Amanda is an actress turned public speaking and corporate communication coach who is featured on the Ace-up platform. She’s passionate about helping clients through an experience many find more terrifying than death: public speaking.
When I first spoke to Amanda, I assumed that a public speaking coach deals only with the fear of speaking. I was wrong. Anyone can benefit from a coach, whether they are an experienced public speaker or a first-time presenter. We can all get a little better at communicating and conveying our experiences. I sat down with Amanda to discuss her profession, her passion, and her path to coaching.
Ace-up: Amanda, you work both as an acting coach and a public speaking coach. How did you start coaching?
Amanda Hennessey: I had been acting and teaching acting for a while. I mainly teach how to give an authentic and memorable performance.
Someone at some point approached me and asked, “Can you help me with this presentation?” I agreed, and I really fell in love with public speaking coaching. It was clearly different from working with a script because often we were creating the script. This comes in handy because I also like to write.
What's been wonderful is having that develop and seeing how my skills from the acting world are so applicable here. It's wonderful to bring that experience to people who would never take an acting class, who are thriving in these whole other industries that are so interesting and compelling.
I meet many interesting people, and I feel that I have a lot to offer from all of my training and experience as a performer.
Ace-up: Do you find major differences between acting and coaching public speaking?
AH: The acting definitely informs the public speaking aspect for me.
There’s more in common than you think. I work with actors that are very scared and nervous. Even if a person wants to get in front of people, it doesn't always mean it's easy. I struggled with a lot of stage fright.
In both worlds, I am helping with concentration, focusing people's minds on the most helpful things. For both practices, self-consciousness is the enemy--when we get really worried about how we're doing and what is everyone thinking. I help clients let go of that self-consciousness.
A big differential would be that public speakers are often creating their own talks. Often I get actors who are working on other people's words.
Working on other people's words in a way that's natural is a challenge, and then coming up with words that actually help you get the message across in a way that's compelling is a different challenge. Public speaking in that way is a little more creative. We're building things from the bottom up.
Ace-up: Can you describe the person you typically coach? And what are they usually preparing for?
AH: It's everybody, which is what I really love.
I had a woman in a workshop recently that's going to speak in front of 1,000 people in Hong Kong in the fall, I have helped other people work on eulogies. I've had landscape architects needing to pitch to get their projects approved. I recently helped somebody who works in alcohol intervention.
I'm happy to say that it's hard to profile a typical client because so many people have to talk in front of people at their jobs. I love the variety I get. I know that when people reach out to me, they've typically hit a wall, they don't want to feel this terrible anymore, or their boss has said they need to improve. They're in pain in some way. They're really good at their jobs, but they've never been equipped to learn and share.
And why would they know how to do this naturally? It's natural to a few people, but most people are not trained in this in high school, college or graduate school.
A lot of people will avoid public speaking as much as possible, and they'll miss out. They're not growing, they're trying to hide. But, if you don't feel like you have the tools, why would you put yourself up there?
Ace-up: That leads me to my next question, how much of your coaching deals with the fear of speaking in public? How much of it is about preparing the speech?
AH: Coaching might start with the fear, but when we go into the talk and find a more fun way to express that intention together, the fear starts to dissipate. How can they articulate their story in a way that feels true to them? Even if it's a talk that might seem really clinical or dry, they can still bring themselves in a way that feels like they are saying something with meaning and purpose.
I think some of the fear comes from self-consciousness, the focus on the self. One of the tools for dealing with nervousness is to try to connect with the deepest reason why you are giving this talk. How are you going to help people with your talk?
Typically, we're not getting up to give talks that hurt lots of people. Speeches move companies forward, move missions forward, give leadership, teach something. So, once people are connected by their speech in that place, I think that their tone changes, and also their wording changes.
Even if I meet someone once, it's a case of, “I know what to say, I'm just completely terrified.” Then, we may just address the nerves. My sense is that they'll go forward and say things differently just because they're coming from a different place, with a different intention behind it. You're not coming from “I hope I don't screw this up,” and transitioning to, “Wow, I really want to teach people something. It's really important, I can help these people.”
Ace-up: Tell us about a client you like to brag about.
AH: Recently, I worked with a woman who climbed Mount Everest. I worked with her solidly nine or ten times within two weeks. I got to know her speech inside and out and learned so much. It was a motivational speech. I was inspired by her during the sessions.
We shaped her story, made it more fun. She's not a native English speaker and has this additional concern of being understood. But, bringing out her amazing personality and helping her channel the experience made her talk inspirational, fun and dynamic. The audience got more of her.
Hearing that she got a standing ovation for the first time she did her speech for the public, that just was really terrific.
What I know is when more of us is there in a fun positive way, and we let our quirks out, people are going to listen and pay more attention because no one else can be you.
It's when we're trying to do things like everyone else that we tune out. When you are totally in your uniqueness, no one has ever seen it before. That's where I really want to help people.
Speaking with Amanda changed my perspective on what it’s like to speak in public. Typically the last thing I consider while speaking to a group is staying authentic to myself.
Amanda helped me realize that a speech I’ve been dreading, the Maid of Honor toast at my sister’s wedding, could actually be fun. I don’t need to worry about what other guests think; I need to focus on being myself. The worst thing I could do is try to make a standard wedding toast. By allowing my quirks to shine, I’ll create a speech that is unique, authentic and unforgettable. My plan is to speak from the heart and to celebrate the love I have for my sister. By focusing on those things, I will feel more confident and less nervous.
After talking with Amanda I felt great, like I could jump up and deliver a speech before a crowd. If I felt that good after a quick call with Amanda I can only imagine how much more confidence I would have after a few sessions with a public speaking coach.
You can check out Amanda’s full profile here, or take a look at Ace-up’s team of public speaking and communication coaches here.
