so , in my private school , it's so small that everyone's hetero-- there's no in between . I'm the only person who's not hetero, as far as Ik :/ and , I'm in show choir --- we're currently doing some choreography , but I have a large complaint I'd to address clearly to my teacher (who's also a strong hetero). she's pairing us up in couples-- & doesn't know I'm not only aro ace but touch-averse, especially to men . :/ but if I tell her, I strongly feel she's gonna tell me to suck it up. Ideas?¿
Well, It’s a difficult subject to approach but at the same time something I can personally relate to.
(I’d say that this is probably not a hetero/asexual issue. I know a lot of heteros who would be in the exact same position as you and asexuals who would have no issues with grinding on someone is a club.)
As I assume, your choreography is probably just a harmless one with the boys and girls paired out of tradition and you may have some form of touching arms?
It’s a difficult situation to explain, especially when it can seem that everyone else is okay with it. If I was you I’d explain to your teacher that your uncomfortable with dancing with a man. Many heterosexuals don’t like the idea of dancing with someone their not in a relationship with ect so she may understand. Or she might still tell you to suck it up.
At the end of the day, you will just need to explain to your teacher that you don’t like to dance in a pair and that it’s especially uncomfortable around men. Offer to do something else during the choreography and explain that you’ll be a lot better dancer if your confident in what your doing.
Just note that coupled dancing isn’t usually a sexual thing so it’s assumed that no one, asexual, straight or gay, would find it strange. It may help to tell yourself that if you would need to dance in a couple.
Being touch averse sucks but you can get over it somewhat, slowly, if you wish to.
I’m also touch-averse although I can say that this was something that was a big problem in my past that’s only mild now. For me I got over it by getting used to hugging my friends hello/goodbye, shaking hands ect.
Then one day I joined a dance class.
I wasn’t much of a dancer so I thought maybe taking lessons could mean that one day i may be able to dance and not be that one friend who refuses to dance at parties.
First lesson was great and I loved it. Second lesson we got paired up.
I was asked to hold hands with a member of the opposite sex and I wanted to freak out. I ended up sucking it up in the hope I’d get used to it. I did. Then we had to dance linking arms. I got extremely uncomfortable. It took me a long time to get used to.
Yet now I’ve been dancing for so long that none of that bothers me anymore.
There’s still certain things I won’t do- I cant stand dancing chest to chest for example. I still find holding peoples hands/hugging slightly weird too but it’s not as bad as it used to be.
So maybe, if you do find that you have to dance in a pair, ask your teachers and your peers for time to adjust to it. because it will take time to get used to. You never know, your dance partner might be just as uncomfortable as you are!
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