Your (un)Friendly Local Pasta Poster

she/her & 20 - i love my wife penne pasta - i am so normal about hozier and miatas

[ach1ll3s]

holy shit

[hesucks-i-lovehim]

So uh. How you guys feeling about that

[thenoodlegod]

we have been mutuals for a bit, and i have just now realized that your icon is not in fact a stylized drawing of clefairy (’m exclusively a mobile user, forgive me)

this made me giggle. nope sorry just an oc 😔

[sexhaver]

im so glad nobody on the modern Tumblr Left ever changes their url or icons unless they get deleted and remake because back in The Day (2012) we did that all the time and it made keeping track of who was who nigh impossible. remember halloween urls? man, we used to- [i break out into a fit of raspy coughs that leave me wheezing for air while desperately flailing for the nurse call button] [you notice that my coughs are staining the bedsheet with flecks of blood]

[sexhaver]

shot

chaser

[ryanphantom]

[alexandriaocasiocortez]

[coolxatu]

frogs in the summer be like

[teathattast]

[singinbluebird]

[pineapple-dildos]

[coffee-without-anesthetics]

[unrelenting-usurper]

Sign at my local movie theater that feels like a desperate warning

[gauntletqueen]

Eggman's security system during a break-in

[morethanslightly]

This morning my child (soon to be 3) requested that I make him toast "with creamy peanut butter on the bottom and crunchy peanut butter on the top."

ME: You mean put peanut butter on both sides?

HIM: Yes.

ME, getting into "sometimes kids have to experience the natural consequences of their actions" parenting mode: Okay, I'll do it, but you know that's gonna be really messy, right?

He insisted, and then when it was, indeed, really messy, he sobbed inconsolably on the floor. I offered to make him regular toast, or a sandwich of peanut butter toast, or a triple-decker tower of toast slices, or any other iteration of peanut butter and toast, but nothing made it better. His vision had not come to fruition. He was crushed.

His dad was in a Zoom meeting upstairs—we're all home because it's a snow day—and came down to find out what terrible ill had befallen us to cause so much wailing.

"Oh," he said. "I see. You wanted non-Euclidean geometry. Hypertoast."

[strange-aeons]

YOU FREAKS CRASHED THE DASHCON SITE AND THEN SOLD OUT THE TICKETS IN UNDER 30 MINUTES

[hymen-restoration-project]

do you have a gas leak in your house? mold perhaps? or do you just need a lithium prescription?

You need a fucking lead pipe prescription stop trying to violate my Hippo

[pukicho]

worlds biggest shark

I am NOT Google

[a-preferable-alternative]

Show me shark pics, internet man

[pukicho]

ugh

[saturniandragon]

Spin this wheel to get a weapon for a zombie apocalypse.

Can you survive using your weapon?

FUCK YEAH LETS GOO

A bit challenging, but doable

Moderately struggling

Not easily

Just barely

The fuck am I gonna do with that?

Dead immediately

Voting ended onFeb 18, 2025

[escuerzoresucitado]

[just-add-butter]

Sound on. It's truly a masterpiece.

[thenoodlegod]

had a dream that I made a sandwich so good and special that everyone clapped and cheered and took pictures of me with it. I think this tells you a lot about me

[wooden-surface]

That WAS an amazing dream

[ach1ll3s]

i will cheer any of my moots on for making a bomb ass sandwich, tbh

[azure-again]

Computer Science major here, it's not working because the computer doesn't respect you. download viruses on it to remind it who's boss.

follow for more tits

[azure-again]

tips

[ach1ll3s]

RAAAA i need more piercings grrrrrr and more tattoos!!!