wrote this after seeing this post earlier today and having an emotional reaction in the tags. yeah i know
Castiel stumbles out of the Empty and into the bunker mere moments before the portal snaps shut behind him.
His knees hit the hard concrete floor as he collapses to the ground, exhausted and aching. Heās covered in blood and sludge and sweat. Heās dirty. Heās confused. Heās human.Ā
And standing above him, holy and whole and alive, is Dean Winchester.Ā
It takes a moment, but it comes back to Castiel all at once. Dean ripped his way into the Empty and shook Castiel awake. He had smiled shakily and said I love you. Heād held Castielās face in his hands and said Weāre going home. And heād lead them both through to the portal, striking sure with his blade as Castiel struggled to keep on his feet, to not be left behind. And then they made it through. And then they escaped.
Castiel can feel the unyielding concrete floor digging painfully into his knees, and almost sobs in relief at all of it. He may be human, but heās home. Heās home, and Dean is here. Dean, who loves him too.
āOh, Jesus fucking Christ,ā Dean says. Itās almost like a whimper, like a prayer. He goes to his knees in front of Castiel, and reaches out. Castiel relishes the feeling of Deanās shaking hands on his shoulders, the way Dean drags his thumbs back and forth like heās not sure this is real. āWe did it,ā Dean says. āYouāre here. Youāre really here.ā
Castiel leans in. He doesnāt care to fight it anymoreāand it seems he doesnāt have to. āYou came for me,ā he says.
āOf course I did,ā Deanās voice is almost violent in his conviction, and Castiel smiles tiredly at how familiar that is. āIām always gonna come for you, dumbass. I love you.ā
Hearing the words again is like the first time Castiel ever took a vessel, eons and eons ago: the strangeness of it, the novelty of seeing a world he knew well so differently, and the certainty that despite that, this was where Castiel was meant to be. The body was his, as close to a home as an angel can get.
Castiel understands, now, maybe for the first time, that he has a home, a real one, in Dean.
But still, there is lingering doubt. āAre you sure?ā Castiel says. He knows what Dean will do for his loved ones. āPlease, donāt say that if you think you have to. Please.ā
Dean looks at him for a long moment, and Castiel notices for the first time that Dean is crying. Panicking and still not wholly in control of himself, Castiel reaches out to wipe them away; itās a privilege heās unused to, to touch Dean with this kind of tenderness.Ā
āIām sure that I love you, Cas.ā Deanās voice is unbearably soft, impossibly loving. āItās one of the only things Iāve ever been sure of.ā
Something in Castiel is shifting, and he lets out a sound he doesnāt recognize. Oh, he thinks, I must be crying. Iām crying.
Dean doesnāt seem distressed by this, but he pulls Castiel close, the angle so that Castielās head falls against his chest, so that he can hear Deanās heartbeat. Deanās right hand, one that has wielded weapon after weapon, that has baked cakes and cooked meals, that has reached out to Castiel even when it seemed there was nothing left to reach for, comes up to rest gently on the back of Castielās head.
āYouāre safe, Cas,ā Dean says, his voice a low, soothing murmur above Castiel. āI brought you back home, and youāre safe. We all are. And Iām gonna keep you safe, no matter what, because when people love each other thatās what they do. They keep each other safe.āĀ
Castiel is holding tight to Deanās jacket, and heās probably going to leave a wet patch where heās crying, and he doesnāt care. He can only focus on Dean, the things heās saying, things Castiel has always wanted to hear. Something is sparking in his chest, something wonderful and bright and wanting.
Dean presses a kiss to the top of Castielās head. āWeāre gonna get out of the bunker. You and me, weāre gonna find us a house and weāll fix it up. Itāll have a garden for you, and a nice garage for me. Weāll have a window above the kitchen sink. Weāll do family dinners and shit like that, and itās gonna be great.ā Deanās voice breaks, and Castiel feels his heartbeat, steady and present. āBecause I got you back. I got you back, Cas, and I love you, and we can have this. We can have this.ā
Castiel is still crying, the disbelief and the joy overwhelming. Dean has him, and he has Dean. They have each other. And he can sit here, listening to Dean whisper about the future they have ahead of them, and he can know that this is something heās not going to ever lose again.