Little Secret (Calum Hood Imagine) Part 2
Hi guys! Since I had such a great reaction to the first part, I decided to go ahead and make this into a mini series. Here is part 2. I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know what you think. 50 notes and I’ll post part 3 :) and another thing. If you guys ever want a personalized imagine, please feel free to just ask. Xoxo -San
2 weeks, 5 days and about 3 hours since I was face to face with the past I worked so hard to forget. My whole world was turned upside down in minutes and nothing has ever been the same since. I tried to go on with our normal routine, I really did but no matter what I did, I was forced with the crippling truth everytime one of the boys reached out to check in on Luna or ask to see her. At first I dodged their calls and ignored the texts, then I started making excuses, which eventually I ran out of so here I am waiting for them to take her to the park for a couple hours. Terrified out of my mind that I would have to face Calum. Something I’m not sure I will ever be ready for.
My heart pounds as I pace back and forth in my small apartment. Luna was contently playing with her toys in her playpen after waking up from her afternoon nap. Oblivious to the fact that her mom was close to a nervous breakdown. I packed her bag, which included just about anything I could think of. An extra outfit, diapers, toys, a bottle, some snacks, and her pacifier. Maybe I was going a little overboard but this was the first time I was leaving her alone with someone else ever. I worked at a daycare so I never had to rely on someone else to watch her in her whole 16 months of life.
I was just about to call and tell them I wasn’t ready to leave her alone maybe some other time when I heard the doorbell ring. I at least had to let them see her now.
“Come in.” I call out as I go over and pick Luna up into my arms.
“Babygirl.” Michael coos happily, coming over to take her from me.
“We’ll have her back before dinner, promise.” Luke smiles at me.
“Just be careful, that little girl is my whole world.” I feel my eyes starting to get misty.
“Hey, we love her too. You know we would never let anything happen to her. Okay?” Ashton comes over and bring me into a hug.
“I know, its just, I’ve been so damn emotional lately.” I admit with a giggle. Realizing how silly I sound. They weren’t kidnapping my kid for crying out loud they were just wanting to spend time with her. Which they deserve.
“Does Calum…you guys didn’t say anything to him did you?” I ask them awkwardly.
“No he doesn’t know about Luna. But he does know we seen you. He’s a mess.” Luke tells me as he take the baby from Michael.
“Okay good. I don’t know if I’m prepared for that just yet.” I sigh, my hands running through my unruly blonde hair.
“We’ll you’re gonna have to tell him eventually…” Ashton wrinkles his eyebrows.
“He deserves to know, and Luna deserves a father.” Michael agrees.
They were right, yet I don’t know if I could ever bring myself to confess this to him. It was too late. I was already in too deep. He would hate me.
“I just need more time…” I give them a painfully look, hoping they’ll drop the subject.
“We’ll be here when you’re ready. We’re always gonna be here for you.” Ashton kisses the top of my head.
“Okay, go before I change my mind.” I laugh and practically push them put the door.
“Mama loves you baby.” I lean down and kiss my pride and joy.
“Don’t do anything stupid to my kid. Yes I’m talking to you, Michael.” I warn them, looking directly at Mikey.
“Don’t worry, she’ll have pink hair and an eyebrow piercing before her next playdate.” He smirks.
“Michael Gordon Clifford.” I hiss.
“Kidding.” He chuckles, shutting the door leaving me alone for the first time since Luna was born.
I picked up a book and tried to read a little bit but then put it down. I turned on the TV but quickly shut it off within ten minutes, not finding anything to catch my interest. I was just about to vacuum for the fifth time today when I heard a light knock on the door.
Its only been an hour, surely they wouldn’t be back already. I had no friends and my family all live far away so I had no idea who it could be.
I nervously walk over and open it slightly to take a peek. My knees almost giving out on me when I seen the one person I was avoiding.
Calum.
I shut the door, then quickly open it again, all while he just stands there and stares blankly at me. Like he just seen a ghost.
We just stand there forever. Nobody moving or saying anything. The only noise was the sound of us both breathing heavily.
“Do…would you like to…come inside?” I mumble softly, barely able to form the words.
He nods, not speaking just following me into the apartment and to the kitchen.
“Can I get you a cup of tea?” I cough nervously. My mind going a million miles a minute.
I try not to gawk at him too much but I can’t help it.
He has changed so much in two years. Yet he looks exactly the same. He was bigger, more muscular, and he cut his hair but I could still see the ends curling up and his eyes, still the same chocolately brown I remember yet now they look tired, no more like exhausted. I think even thirty years from now he would still be the most attractive person I’ve ever seen.
“Please.” His deep voice finally speaking.
I grab two cups and set them on the table, filling the tea kettle and putting it on to boil before making myself sit down and face him.
“I had so much I planned to say to you if I ever seen you again, and now here you are right in front of me and I can’t even form a complete sentence.” He laughs without a trace of humor.
I look away, not able to meet his eyes.
“Why?” He manages, sounding so defeated, helpless.
“I’m sorry.” I mumble, tears coming out of my eyes effortlessly.
“Sorry? That’s all you can say? You broke my fucking heart. You left me with no note, no explanation, I came home to an empty fucking house and no way to contact you. Do you realize how bad you hurt me?” I can see the pain in his eyes.
“It hurt me too.” I croak out.
“So why did you do it? Whatever was wrong, whatever the reason, I could have fixed it-”
“No. You couldn’t have fixed it. Don’t you get that? I left for you. So you could have a better life, so you could live out all your dreams.” I cut him off.
“My dreams mean nothing if you aren’t there to experience it with me. Don’t you get that?” He reaches across the table and takes my hand.
“You just don’t understand.” I pull away, knowing that if I let him back in it would ruin everything. The whole purpose of me staying away would be screwed and all this would have been for nothing.
“So make me understand. Because I don’t think I could walk out of here losing you again.”
“Calum, please don’t…” I beg him.
“No. I refuse to let you go again. I didn’t have a chance to fight for you last time but I will now. So tell me what made you leave? What is so damn bad that can barely look me in the eyes.” He walks over and pulls me to my feet, so I’m inches away from him.
Every kiss, ever hug, every single memory from before comes flooding back without fail. The scent of his cologne almost enough to send me over the edge.
“Please don’t hate me.” I whisper softly.
“I could never ever hate you.” He lifts my chin up so I’m now looking at him.
“Right before you left for the tour with one direction something happened…” I pause not knowing exactly how to continue.
“You can tell me anything love.”
“I wasn’t feeling well. I started getting sick all the time so I went to the doctors.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Are you okay?” His eyes immediately flush with concern.
“I didn’t want you to worry. You were so busy with the new album and everything else going on. Plus you were about to go on your first world tour.”
“I would have stopped everything for you. You know that.” His thumb brushes my cheek.
“And that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. You would have thrown away everything you worked so hard for. I couldn’t allow you to do that.” I sniffle.
“What was wrong? Are you still sick? Is it cancer?” I could see his worst nightmare flash across his face.
“No. I’m fine.” I reassure him.
“So then what was it?” Now he just looks confused.
“Calum…when I went to the doctor, I found out I was…pregnant. ” The words taste like poison coming out of my mouth.
“What?” A look of betrayal appearing as he steps back from me.
“Please tell me you’re joking.” He runs his fingers through his thick hair.
“I’m so sorry.” I repeat the words I already said earlier that night.
“I have to…I gotta go.” He shakes his head and races to the door.
Just like that my world was gone…again.
