Why must I be awake.
#another victim of the woke agenda
@natalieironside what's it like being one of the funniest mother fuckers on the planet?
I wish it paid more
Honestly? Valid.
Monterey Bay Aquarium

ellievsbear

roma★
occasionally subtle
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
🪼

tannertan36
tumblr dot com
we're not kids anymore.
Claire Keane
ojovivo
Jules of Nature
No title available
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
taylor price
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Origami Around
hello vonnie
Misplaced Lens Cap
seen from Germany

seen from United States

seen from Kuwait

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Kuwait

seen from United States

seen from Italy

seen from Nepal
seen from United States
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@actuallyaltaria
Why must I be awake.
#another victim of the woke agenda
@natalieironside what's it like being one of the funniest mother fuckers on the planet?
I wish it paid more
Honestly? Valid.
I think about this tweet all the time
I am laughing so hard I scared the cat.
Resisting the urge to Um Actually this dragon novel because it has the dragon eggs be like three or four feet wide but there is simply a limit to how large hard-shelled terrestrial eggs can be. No matter how large the animal is, the embryo needs oxygen, and oxygen needs surface area. The larger an object is, the lower its surface area relative to volume, and the less oxygen the embryo can receive. We think of large animals as having porportionately large young because mammalian pregnancy has the unique benefit of allowing for the size of the young to scale with the adult because their oxygen is provided directly through the placenta, and almost all the megafauna remaining on Earth are mammals. But this is not the case for species which lay eggs! For fuck's sake even the sauropods hatched out of eggs barely larger than basketballs! Your hatchling dragon would be impressively enormous if it were the size of a house cat. Stop trying to make me believe that this (ROUND!) dragon egg somehow supplied enough oxygen to develop an infant the size of a large dog or even bigger. If it were possible the dinosaurs woulda been doing it!!!!
I love you /lh. Experts going off on their particular fascinating cool topics and adding unexpected context to things we take for granted is like my favorite thing this was delightful. Talk to me more about eggs and geometry and biology all you want :D
Amazing concept
losing my mind at this amazing story from r/dndmemes some people’s dnd adventures are just. So Fucking Cool
here’s the link and the story, it’s Amazing
THE FUCKING REVEAL AT THE END LIKE THIS GUY IS LEGIT LIKE
THATS MY WIFE AND I LOVE HER
Just some quick math, a long rest is 8 hours, so you can get three long rests a day (theoretically), meaning 9 days and 16 hours is
Twenty-nine resurrections
There were nearly 30 deaths and every single one came back. It musta been like the Endgame portal scene except with like, your brother and your dead wife. Incredible.
Went to Art All Night this year and thought I should share some of my favorite pieces!
Let me give you a hand.
Do yall ever think about what is your rarest achievement?
Like I was thinking about it today and if you thought of all possible human experiences as achievements you could receive in a video game, it would be clear that there are millions of possible achievements, with some distant reaches of the achievement trees so obscure that only one or two people have ever seen them.
For example, there is like, one guy who has gotten to the achievement See 10,000 species of bird.
I think eating every kind of fruit awards a unique achievement. I only reached Eat a pomegranate last year. And there are exploration-based achievements, like Visit New York City or [Hidden] Discover the abandoned barn with the huge Cathode Ray Tube TV and the deer skulls.
People's achievement trees would look really different. I haven't unlocked hardly anything on the Sports, Recreational Drugs, Physical Feats, or Travel achievement trees. I have a wide range of rare achievements on the Textile Arts achievement tree. I definitely have the most achievements on the Nature achievement tree.
Some of the achievements with the most EXP that I have are Witness a total solar eclipse and Forage and eat wild mushrooms (without getting poisoned). I think that [Hidden] Get shot at might also be up there
Recently I've unlocked Have a conversation in a second language with a native speaker and Warp a loom
But I still haven't unlocked Ride a skateboard or Do a cartwheel
My dad recently unlocked Become a cyborg (he got a surgery where he gets an implant that he controls with a remote). That has to have a pretty big EXP reward. But there are a lot of low-stakes achievements like Skip a rock across some water or Buy something from a vending machine
Theory on why Tofu hates Markiplier
If you are unfamiliar with Tofu, please read this post or watch this playlist about the snake who hates Markiplier. tl;dr- under the Markiplier gif.
From the videos you can see she tries to figure out what is upsetting Tofu, and found that it's not just streamers, or just his voice, or the stream. This specific snake
He does not like Markiplier specifically which is demonstrated by him squaring up with Mark, striking, and tail buzzing at him. He recognizes Mark specifically as a scary threat.
Animals have been shown to recognize human faces, and Tofu's reaction to Markiplier's face (and only his face as shown by the printout) is strong evidence that he recognizes Mark's face and differentiates him from other faces. With crows, they've been shown to hold grudges and have that grudge extend to other crows.
So Tofu has a negative association with Mark, and specifically Mark. The question is why? My theory is: perceived threat after a perceived dangerous situation. Some have theorized Tofu was mistreated by someone who looked like Mark- if they were while in his keeper's care she'd know. If it was his breeder, he'd more likely be afraid of all humans and need to first get over this negative perception (basing this on how Sakura reacted with massive trauma that took years for her to overcome, and to this day she's still jumpy. A breeder doesn't socialize their snakes so they'd only know humans to be abusive before being adopted, and his current keeper would very much notice that terrified trauma behavior to herself.)
One thing important to know about snakes is they are not only capable of learning from each other, but are protective of each other. I've seen this with my girls interacting with each other (yes snakes have friends and remember their family), learning from watching the other and copying her actions, as well as behavior I've observed on the Rattlecam with wild snakes. Adult snakes teach younger snakes, as well as are protective of them- even if they aren't their own babies. A female was shown on the rattlecam watching over a group of slitherlings that were obviously not her offspring as she was heavily pregnant. IIRC that same female ushered babies to safety after a hawk attack before worrying about her own safety. I've seen it in person as well with my girls, who have shielded each other from perceived danger, and scoria also squared up to something scary in the hall as though she were protecting me. And when it left she immediately went back to being relaxed and cuddly and happy. Snakes have friends that are snakes. It's an outdated belief snakes cannot bond with their keepers, as many do and seek them out for attention. These observations of snake behavior are part of what play into my theory basis.
So what could Mark himself have done? If you watch streamers you'll know Markiplier is known for playing jumpscare games with his FNAF let's plays being some of his most well known. Tofu's owner knows Markiplier, and is actively watching Markiplier with Tofu. More than likely she regularly watches Mark, has watched jumpscare videos, and had Tofu around while doing this.
It's a reasonable assumption. And if Tofu's keeper reacts to Mark's jump scare videos by flinching, looking frightened, or making frightened sounds, it's quite likely Tofu's sees Markiplier is involved every time... and blames Mark. Seeing his keeper get startled, Tofu doesn't understand it's a fun video or that humans enjoy being jumpscared (honestly I don't think I could explain it to him either) so he's learning from his human that Markiplier is a scary threat.
And from Tofu's point of view? He's right! Markiplier is a regular threat that not only (probably) scared his human, but regularly appears to stare him down and even went after him in his own home! And when his keeper scolds him? It's likely the same misunderstanding that dogs have when their owners yell at them to be quiet- they think the human has joined in! Clearly his keeper is joining him in being upset at Mark!
So in Tofu's mind? Mark is a diabolical threat to his family's safety that he must defend them against, and they are united with their keeper in their efforts to drive away that scary scary guy. You are very brave Tofu, and we are all very proud of you.
You know your drunk art post about love and personhood from 2019? Every night at bedtime my late cat would lie on my chest, and her little heartbeat would be right on top of mine, and I'd think about that piece of art you made, and have a similar sort of image in my head. Anyway, yesterday I finally put the image to paper, and idk where this is going, just that that piece of art you created means a lot to me. Have a cool day ✌️
OHHHH MY GOD!!!!! EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LOOK AT THIS. ITS ALL BEEN WORTH IT
"don't follow empty-eyed leering women with sharp toothed grins home just because they pet you behind the ears and call you a good dog and tell you they have cold cuts in their fridge for you" uhh then where am i gonna get my cold cuts from. fucking dumbass
Deli
I love u narrative songs 💖💖💖
Too many generic love songs not enough songs about one specific ass situation
tag the first song you think of
I didn’t manage to watch last week’s CR until now and I am just so fascinated by the portrayal of Sylandri as actually, literally the elves’ mother.
like, Vaelus is having trouble remembering her prayers, and her brother is deeply devout, and it comes across like any other sort of Wildmother-esque fantasy nature goddess religion- and then she revokes his powers because he said “bitch.” Like, she IS listening to you at all times, and she WILL punish you for being naughty and saying naughty words. She is not just their goddess, but their actual MOM, and she’s a particularly overbearing mom at that.
and I am reminded of what is probably my favorite musical, Children of Eden, which I don’t really talk about a lot about on here. To paraphrase Jane Austen, maybe if I loved it less I would be able to talk about it more. But the overarching metaphor is about parenting, as portrayed through the lens of the stories of Genesis.
there’s this one song in Act I called “Father’s Day,” where the character of Father (which is what we are calling G-d in this show) is watching Adam and Eve sleep for the first time, after the first day of their lives, and thinking about parenthood, with a refrain that gets many many reprises throughout the show. And it really feels like if you swapped the word “father” for “mother,” you’d have a song that could have been sung by Sylandri. The lyrics there include lines like
“In my own image From my likeness are they sprung They will keep me company They will keep me young”
and
“I will be their teacher and I will be their guide And anything they'll ever need I'll be there to provide And in return, they'll love me Stay forever at my side That's what it means to be a [Father]"
and the character arc, for the character of Father (who, let’s remember, is both LITERALLY G-D and also a metaphor for fatherhood and parenting generally) is to realize that this was a very selfish position, and that it’s not, actually, what fatherhood is all about. That wanting to keep his children protected and ensconced in an eternal, unchanging childhood, in a perfect perpetual Eden was wrong of him, because the point of children is to grow up and the point of parents is to help them do that. And that being a father isn’t really about HIM at all, and that by focusing on how HE feels, he was failing to give them the things they needed to grow into independent beings. Making this realization takes him the whole show, and it is the real conflict of the entire thing - and it takes him MANY human generations to get there. And it seems like maybe Sylandri needed to learn the same thing - and like she didn’t manage it, in fact. Maybe she could have, eventually, given a long enough timeframe, but she never actually pulled it off.
And so part of Vaelus’ pain is that she has been left to try and figure out how to be an adult when she was never actually made to grow up- because Sylandri wanted children, and she wanted them forever.
the fun thing about having a mental health crashout in your thirties is that sure yeah you're crashing out, but at the same time there's a part of you standing across the room smoking ben affleck style, going yeah yeah you're crashing out. you crashed out before you will crash out again can we wrap this up yet. and the most annoying part about it is that they're right, and that that does Not stop you from crashing out even a little. love and light on planet earth.
And the old religion Humming in your veins Some animal instinct starting up again And I am wound so tightly I hardly even breathe
Oh, i remember this! No truck fucking, but also hard to explain...?
Basically, a lot of truckers feel VERY attached to their trucks, to the point where it's common for truckers to refer to them as their "first baby".
So, knowing this, this trucker's wife organised a photoshoot where her husband's "first baby" got to meet his "second baby". Kind of like those pregnancy photoshoots with dogs?
He thought it was great, and they shared it on social media trucker groups. In a turn i would not expect, a lot of other truckers got really emotional about it. Like, grown men cooing over a stranger's pregnancy photoshoot, going to their wives and asking if they can do something similar 🥺🥺🥺. All in all, strangely wholesome???
Ohhhh, the truck is the big brother :)
Like showing your baby bump to the family pet 🥺