Hi. I'm sure that nobody expected me to come back, and I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting to. I'm just so disgusted with recent events that I want to post my thoughts in a location where anybody will understand what I'm talking about, as nobody in my day to day life even really tolerates kpop
As everybody knows, a lot has happened recently. And yeah, I've got a lot of emotions. I'm devastated to find out how much of a disgusting human Taeil is, and just in general, the wave of disgusting misogyny that's been going on in South Korea is absolutely horrifying.
However, I'm here to talk about my disgust in the state of kpop fans and the abysmal behavior some show. Mind you, i know very well that its very much not everyone. I've spent enough time in the community to know that there are plenty of people who are capable of being normal about their relationship with the idols, even while being a stan who cares about nothing but them. I have a history of parasocial relationships and I firmly believe that you can absolutely obsess over celebrities without being a psychopath. That being said, it's also a very fine line and I've seen some absolutely disgusting shit here.
None of these men belong to you. None of these men owe you a fucking thing. They are there to make you music, give you dances that you can enjoy, and serve you looks, depending on your style per era. They don't owe you abstinence and this is frankly something I've hated even while I was frequenting this site. I know full well that i personally have gotten a little too deep into shipping and crushing on idols. Do you know what happened during the two time an idol that i obsessed over/shipped with people referred to being in a relationship while being an idol? I felt a pang of disappointment and then I decided that as long as they're happy, I'm happy. Do you know what happened to them? One of them could only talk about it after leaving the industry, and the other lost their contract at their company. There's absolutely zero reason why an idol can't live their life alongside being an idol. They're not dolls, they're human beings with human lives.
Now, I left the community years ago. I still listen to the songs I used to listen to, but that's about the extent of where my kpop Fandom journey is anymore. I've also technically started rewriting some of the story ideas I had while excluding the kpop aspects, but that's an entirely different thing.
However, I do still like the occasional kpop post on Twitter, and today, my page was full of learning of a man named Seunghan from a band Riize. I've never heard of him, nor have I heard of this band prior to this controversy. However, the shit that's going on with this is unreal. You're telling me that this 21 year old got bullied into going on hiatus because he smoked a cigarette and dated someone? And then as soon as he came back, people sent funeral wreaths to SM over it? That's abhorrent. The girlfriend thing I've already touched on, he doesn't owe you anything, let alone abstinence from a time before he was famous. The cigarette, sure that's not good. Death threats are so much worse?? Most people have done something bad at some point in their life that doesn't at all reflect who they are now, and frankly, even if he still smokes, what the fuck are you helping with this behavior? Show concern, don't act like he's your fucking doll who's not acting how you want.
I'll be honest, I don't think the people that have or currently follow me are the kinds of people to do this thing. However, if somehow one of the people who engaged in this see this (especially those girls dancing in front of the wreaths uggggh), in complete, 100% seriousness, get some fucking help. You're entering into a parasocial state that is far beyond the acceptable state and has passed into psychotic behavior, and you need to find how to work that out because you've already emotionally hurt people and you're well on your way to physically hurting people, if you haven't already.
And if you haven't been one of the people who have been doing this but you don't see a problem with it, you get some help too. You might feel that you're not doing anything to anybody but as far as I'm concerned, you're just as part of the fucking problem. You might not have engaged in this action, but you very well could to other idols in the future, or God forbid people in your life. This kind of obsession can very easily translate over to behaviors and entitlement to partners, friends, family, none of which are people you're entitled to either. I couldn't fathom looking at this and feeling like this is at all okay.
I can't say if I'm gonna uninstall Tumblr and go back to staying my nose out of things or if I'm going to pop in once and a while as a casual, especially since I'm sure my page has been dead long enough that nobody cares if I come back but I got so heated over this that I needed to put all my thoughts out there, even if nobody sees it