As an Adoptee

By adoptees for adoptees; a safe place to share. looking for mods.

[chunyanissad]

Continuing with the clearing of my phone lol

[changenameslikeclothes]

This image was posted on Facebook by Jermaine Rogers. It received hundreds of thousands of likes, over a hundred thousand shares, and was taken down by Facebook today.

SHAME ON YOU FACEBOOK

[adopteesunite]

I FUCKING HATE WHITE SAVIOR MENTALITY

[adopteesunite]

could you please help me spread the word and out and fill out this form for my college research project on adoption?

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1JZM56JWalrtSDHEcgDxu-a9UNxOieI8CtM9IBhiMYks/viewform

submission from i-am-little-pink-floating-phone

This seems like a really cool project! There are 7 questions here, one of which is optional depending on whether you are an adoptee or adoptive parent. She is collecting this info for an art project as well, it seems. I would encourage you all to participate and support a fellow adoptee’s project! I know I would like to see the finished project!

[huffpost]

The Subtly Offensive Phrases We Need To Stop Saying

In a video created by

SheKnows

, a group of teen girls explained how micro-aggressions can be hurtful to their self-esteem.

[adopteesunite]

As a transracial adoptee, these make me particularly self conscious . When I was younger it was really difficult because I didn't have anyone who looked like me to talk to and check that I was normal or okay.

[adopteesunite]

You are are not our saviors.

[adopteesunite]

bastardplanet onlyblackgirl brandx Weigh in?

[adopteesunite]

You are are not our saviors.

[gifthetv]

[loliitalostinthehood-deactivate]

[little-ginger-princess-deactiva]

Too powerful to not reblog.

[gorgonsach]

how about calling her mother from her phone and watching her till she came to pick her up instead of picking up an unconscious girl throwing her in your car and driving to the “address you found in her phone (yet I’ve never in my life heard of someone keeping an address in their phone?)”

also how about not making up stories for yikyak

[drumrbaxj]

Good point. I didn’t even realise this when I first read it, that taking her home is still kind of creepy.

[beardlyfe]

Just like tumblr, someone goes out of their way to do something nice and gets bashed for it.

[sammiesmalls666-deactivated2017]

1. Anyone that thinks this person really did this needs to ask themselves how they found their address in their phone or why they were going through their phone in the first place with the intention of finding their address when.. No one saves their own address in their phone.. Especially not a female that spends her whole life going out of her way to not get followed

The only way they could have then found her address is to go through all of her text messages looking for a text where she may have given her address to a friend..

At this point.. Already fucking creepy

2. After doing all of that work, they then put a female into their car that did not know them..without their permission

3. Wouldn’t it have been way easier to search contacts for “mom” or “dad” and call them to pick her up?? Yes.

So 4. This story is either completely made up or

5. They were not being honest at all about their intentions for finding this poor girl’s address and putting her into their car

[tmedia]

Can I play devil’s advocate here? The lock screen on my phone has my address and work phone number on it. This is in case I lose the phone somewhere - people can’t unlock it, but they can still contact me. Also, in my address book, the very first entry is mine and is labelled “My Profile” and it also has my address and contact info.

Can we please not be so jaded to think that maybe, just maybe, something mostly good was done here?

[sammiesmalls666-deactivated2017]

But Joe… You’re a male. A smart female does not put her address on the lock screen of her phone because she does not want someone that would be willing to steal a phone.. To also have her home address as well

Women and men treat these situations very differently because we’re raised in the defense mode our entire lives.

[ulf-hreda-deactivated20170620]

How about we all just be happy that someone did a nice thing instead of looking for something else to get upset about.  Holy crap, people.  Even after a guy stands up and does the right thing, someone has to call him out on his ‘intentions.’  No good deed goes unpunished…

[sammiesmalls666-deactivated2017]

you really missed the point didn’t you

[suspicioussteve-blog]

This dude probably didn’t expect her mom to be home.

[equius]

hello tumblr. i am the person who posted that yak 3 days ago after i went to a party with some friends. let me tell you what happened so you can stop spinning tales about what you believe happened, because all of you are honestly way out of the ballpark. leave it to tumblr to assume the worst and attack people for literally everything.

i had been at this place for about 2 hours or so. i usually don’t like going out, especially to parties, but my friend sam was going to be there and she told me that there was going to be some craft beer and locally-made cheese, stuff like that. she and i went to culinary school together, so we’re always talking about stuff like this. i agreed to go just for the food and shit.

anyway, sam and my other friend brian eventually had to leave because of home obligations, but i stuck around to watch a bunch of half-drunk people play sm4sh. eventually, the party began to break up and everyone was leaving. i was getting my coat from the hallway when i noticed this chick propped up against the wall in the bathroom. i went in there to check on her and she was mildly receptive to me. she mumbled a few things but i couldn’t tell what she was saying. i asked the owner of the house if he knew her, and he said no, but he said that she ‘was always welcome to sleep upstairs after everyone was gone until she woke up’ and that just didn’t sound right to me. i told him that i’d drive her home and he just sort of laughed and made mild insinuations that i’d be doing something else. 

i picked up her phone to see if i could call her mom first, before i decided to drive anywhere with her. her phone, like mine, isn’t passcoded. i don’t use a passcode on my phone because i’m a lazy piece of shit. i don’t know why her’s wasn’t either. i went through her contacts looking for ‘mom’ or anything related to it, but i was unable to find her mom or any people in there with family-oriented titles. i guessed that her phone, like mine, was synced with her facebook, and all of her contacts had their facebook names instead of contact names. however, at the top, she had her own contact info, along with her address. i tried then searching for people with her last name, but pulled up nothing. i could then only assume that she didn’t have family, or that she was an only child with remarried parents. i didn’t know what to do then.

the house owner was looking a little irritated that i was still there, and again asked me if i wanted to take her upstairs, and i refused. feeling slightly worried for both her and myself, i just patted her face and asked her if i could drive her home. she just slurred and rolled her head to the side, and that was as good as i was going to get. i just wanted to get her out of there. i didn’t want to call the police and start something with the home owner; he was already getting pissy. her address was only about 20 minutes away from where i was at, so i carried her out to my car, put all my junk in the front seat and laid her in the back, putting my coat and stuff under her head in case she threw up. 

and i drove to her house. she didn’t wake up while i was driving. i parked in front of her house and knocked on the front door. her mom answered it right away; i could only assume that she’d been waiting up for her daughter. 

i then explained that her daughter had a little too much to drink and i’d found her passed out in the bathroom. immediately her mother put a hand to her mouth and looked incredibly worried. i told her that everything was fine, and that her daughter was in my car resting in the backseat, and that i had brought her back because i didn’t feel comfortable leaving her at the house.

it was then that her mother started crying and she hugged me. she called me a precious young lady, which i didn’t even bother correcting because it really didn’t matter at that point, and we both helped her daughter inside. her mom tried to offer me money, which i refused, because i don’t see why i needed to be rewarded or anything. i just told her to make sure that her daughter was okay, and i drove home. no more, no less.

-

this is exactly what happens when people on tumblr see something good that happened. you guys assume that because an implored male posted that yak, that he immediately had wrong intentions about the situation. someone had the opportunity to take advantage of a girl, but instead he takes her home like any decent human should do, and then tumblr decides to dissect the entire thing piece by piece, and call him creepy for looking through her phone to find contacts or an address.

i’m so fucking ashamed to be a part of a website that lives and breathes feminism and rights for women and speaking out against rape culture, and then you attack people that tried to get a girl home safe by looking through her phone and then driving her home because it wasn’t safe to leave her alone.

thank you, tumblr. thank you a lot

[did-you-know]

Source

[tigertwo1515-deactivated2023073]

Damn

[1863-project]

OKAY, LET’S TALK ABOUT ROBERT SMALLS (BECAUSE HE HAS A NAME, THANK YOU VERY MUCH).

ANYWAY.

Robert Smalls was born into slavery in 1839 and at the age of 12 his owner leased him out in Charleston, South Carolina. He gravitated towards working at the docks and on boats and eventually became the equivalent of a pilot, and in late 1861 he found himself assigned to a military transport boat named the CSS Planter.

On May 12, 1862, the white officers decided to spend the night on land. Smalls rounded up the enslaved crew and they hatched a plan, and once the officers were long gone they made a run for it, only stopping to pick up their families (who they notified) along the way. Smalls, disguised as the captain, steered the boat past Confederate forts (including Ft. Sumter) and over to the Union blockade, raising a white sheet his wife took from her job as a hotel maid as a flag of truce. The CSS Planter had a highly valuable code book and all manner of explosives on board.

Smalls ended up serving in the Union Navy and rose to the rank of captain there. He was also one of a number of individuals who talked to Abraham Lincoln about the possibility of African-American soldiers fighting for the Union, which became a reality.

After the war, Smalls bought his owner’s old plantation in Beaufort and even allowed the owner’s sickly wife to move back in until her death. He eventually served in the South Carolina House of Representatives (1865-1870), the South Carolina Senate (1871-1874), and the United States House of Representatives (1875-1879) and represented South Carolina’s 5th District from 1882-1883 and the 7th District from 1884-1887. He and other black politicians also fought against an amendment designed to disenfranchise black voters in 1895, but it unfortunately passed.

Smalls ended his public life by serving as U.S. Collector of Customs in Beaufort from 1889-1911. He died in 1915 at the age of 75.

And now you know Robert Smalls.

[isharedfoundlove]

ROBERT SMALLS!!!

[blackfemmejeanvaljean]

Let me hammer this point down. Slaves running away from plantions fighting for the Union army devastated plantations in terms of labor which weaken the south’s economy and immaculately leaded to the South losing the war. And if it was for Robert Smalls convincing Abraham Lincoln to allow former slaves to fight in the Union army slavery might have not have been abolished. This man Robert Smalls was the man that ended slavery and we never learned his name in school. I heard about him from an article on cracked.com

[disrespectfuljezebel-deactivate]

… Wow.

[creatingfromculture]

Can we get a movie made or something? That would be nice.

[beaconpress-blog]

[kissnecks]

THIS OKAY

[ten-and-donna]

You want to get kids out of foster care and into good, loving homes? I’ve got a simple solution to your problem.

[reginaeinferos]

Did you know LGBT couples are more likely to adopt older, children of color and disable children than straight couples? LGBT couples tend to adopt ‘undesired’ children more (basically kids no one else wants.)

[just-a-penis--with-a-dream]

This is so important because I remember being in the system and being so scared that I would never be adopted or loved or whatever and seriously just fucking let them, take the fear out of finding a family

[followerspleasecheckinbox]

Exactly. I reblog this every time I see it. EVERY time.

[onlyblackgirl]

White kids with blonde hair and blue eyes are in the highest demand for straight couples. They will literally wait on a list rather than adopt someone else which I guess is better than them adopting a kid they don’t want but also pretty fucked up.

God forbid a child go to a family that actually wants them cuz someone how LGBT couple are incapable of loving a child.

[confessions-of-an-adoptee]

#259. I feel like I’m constantly torn between two countries, two cultures. There’s America: the land of opportunity, my home and the country I would die for. But then there’s China: my birthplace, the home of my birth parents, and the location of the millions of people who look like just me. There’s this never-ending tug of war between the home that is and the home that was.

Anonymous (via confessions-of-an-adoptee)

[koreanadoptee255]

Truth.

[kellyisnice]

.-.

            Once upon a time there lived a girl.  This girl was very shy, emotional, somewhat odd and a good bit silly.  She fell in love with a boy.  This boy was quiet, confident, somewhat odd and obnoxiously rational.  They decided that since they both loved Jesus, Harry Potter, and each other that they should get married.  So they became man and wife.  It was a fairytale wedding… quite literally.  Wings included. 

            After many years of wedded bliss and many years of struggling to communicate, they grew weary of the excessive amounts of time together.  Being able to see movies and play games and take naps whenever they wanted had become mundane.  They wondered what they could do to fill the void of the endless hours of doing whatever they wanted.  And then it came to them.  A kid!  It would be the perfect addition to their home.  They could spend their endless hours feeding it, loving it and making it less sticky.  But how would they get one?  They could make one!  But seeing as neither of them were do it yourselfers they decided to explore less painful, intrusive, and messy options.  They could import one!  They’d heard South Korea had some good ones, but after further investigation they learned that they were way out of their price range.                

            Read More

[adopteesunite]

 ”————And then it came to them. A kid! It would be the perfect addition to their home. They could spend their endless hours feeding it, loving it and making it less sticky. But how would they get one? They could make one! But seeing as neither of them were do it yourselfers they decided to explore less painful, intrusive, and messy options. They could import one! They’d heard South Korea had some good ones, but after further investigation they learned that they were way out of their price range.”

[onlyblackgirl]

My birth mother gave me the name “Waykedria” but my white adoptive parents changed it to “Rebekah” because “Waykedria” was too abnormal for them and they could never spell it. They kept is as a middle name solely out of respect for my birth mother. I was also teased and called ghetto when I told...

[16yearoldadoptee]

Growing up, I taught myself to be closed.

Don’t tell the other kids too much, you don’t want them finding out that your mom’s white.

I get a sting in my stomach like a needle whenever I’m asked why my biological parents gave me up for adoption - or as kids like to put it, “threw me out.” The 8...

[adopteesunite]

A rejection by my own culture

When my best friend's mother told me she would never adopt because she could never love the child I felt my heart clench. Whether it was for me or for them, I don’t know.

Two years later when I found out she thought I was a bad kid by virtue of being adopted, that she though I was a liar, a thief, a manipulator- or had the potential to be one, I felt my heart clench so hard cracks formed.

Two years after that she told my best friend of seven years she could no longer associate with me because I was going to be a bad kid. Me, the one who had received awards, led clubs, founded clubs, been nothing but a good kid. And all of this, I found didn't matter... Because my friend cut me off.

And so I found loyalty meant nothing, that my friend had been poisoned. Or worse yet had, in a desire to please her mother, told things to poison her more against me.

And I think what hurts the most is that I saw the friend as a sister, her mother as a mother figure who provided to me what my own white mother could never provide: a connection to china, to my culture. And other adoptees have spoken on being adopted, the idea of being rejected.

And for me it felt like I was being rejected by my mother for the second time, and not only being rejected by my mother, but my culture.

I think my heart strings snapped and my heart shattered. And it is no wonder I am sensitive to jokes about my heritage.