Marlene sat down, she herself feeling awkward and out of place. This was unfamiliar territory for her. She’d never been one for heart to hearts or intimate conversations with family. When she socialised with friends it almost always involved alcohol. Lunch outings were not her style - even just sitting at a table was uncomfortable.
She found herself avoiding looking at him, looking out across the patrons at Leaky Cauldron, and then looking at a menu. Looking at him hurt and she didn’t want to admit it. Not to him, not to herself, not to anyone. He was a closed book of memories threatening to open anytime she looked up, when all she wanted was to keep it shut and tucked away.
As he spoke she shook her head. “It’s fine, I’ll get my own food.” she said, not even looking up from the menu. It wasn’t meant to be unkind, she just didn’t want to share - it felt too… intimate. Immediately she wanted to kick herself. It’s just lunch. So why did it feel like so much more? Hell, she wanted to lead a country but she didn’t even know how to talk to her own brother.
A wix approached to take their orders, snapping Marlene out of whatever thought that just was. She ordered first - a burger with fries, along with a whiskey and coke. Never too early in the day to start drinking, was her personal belief. She waited for Adrian to order and watched as the wix took their menus, and Marlene’s means of keeping herself from looking at her brother. And so she finally looks at him again.
(she’s five years old and she’s playing chase with adrian outside while their mother is in the kitchen. it’s all fun and games until marlene tackles him to the ground and he hits his head on a rock. he’s bleeding and starts crying and screaming. their mother, who has barely said two words to marlene all week comes running out, picking and cradling adrian while she screams in her daughter’s face about how spiteful and selfish she is.)
She shrugged at his question. “I got tired of listening to Rod and Remus, They’re too weak to rule. One hides behind an image, pretending he’s better than he is. The other hides in his ivory tower.” she said dismissively, answering a question that Adrian hadn’t asked, but suspected that he wanted to. “They probably would put my face on a chocolate frog card, I don’t know. You still collect those things?” It was the first thing she’d really asked him. And truthfully she didn’t remember whether or not he ever had.
" sure, no worries. ” he kept his voice light as he set his menu down. he wasn’t offended -- he had no real reason to be -- but a part of him felt nervous by this. it would have been easier if he’d had something to split with marlene. his eating habits had garnered him strange looks before and he was hoping that marlene would just overlook it. since derek died, he had little appetite. food didn’t taste good and it always settled oddly in his stomach. their mother said he ate like a bird, pecking at things here and there before moving on. he tried to ignore how much the elder mckinnon worried. there was already too much guilt that fell onto his shoulders. if any more were to settle on him, he would lose the little ability he had left to carry himself. when the wix came over, he ordered a small plate of chips and nothing else.
his brows drew together as he listened to marlene’s brief analysis of the two candidates. he didn’t agree with what she said but he didn’t know how to respond. he knew nothing more about them than what was said in the papers, but he was sure that marlene knew them both better than he could even imagine. of the pair, he preferred remus without a doubt, but a part of him wondered if his tenuous allegiance only lay with that man for the fact he was a werewolf. without a doubt, derek would have supported him. if derek were still alive, adrian would have followed him blindly. if derek were still alive, adrian would have cared immensely more than he did, having listened to the other boy’s opinions and thoughts on the manner evening after evening. if derek were alive ---
adrian could feel his throat tightening and his eyes beginning to sting. he reached for his water, taking a sip, trying to blink away the tears that threatened to start spilling. thought spirals all too often took advantage of him. one little thing triggered a thought and inevitably they always circled around to derek. as many happy memories he had of the both of them, there was no overshadowing the pain that was still so raw.
“ right. okay. two-faced asshole and mister hideaway. ” he cleared his throat. he wouldn’t cry in front of her. he wouldn’t let himself. a part of him wondered if she would just get up and walk away if he did end up in tears. “ i guess those are good reasons. but who would you consider the lesser of the two evils ?? if you had to ?? like, i know you don’t have to because obviously you’ll be voting for yourself, but -- ” he cut himself off mid-thought, changing the direction of the conversation. “ what’s your stance anyways ?? like, tell me more than what you said to the papers. that sounded like scripted bullshit. no offense. ”
the sound of his own voice was something near unsettling and it occurred to adrian that this was the most he had spoken in ages. most days consisted of him in his room, headphones on and world turned off. usually all he had to say were one-word answers to mum. she cared but she didn’t know how to help him. he didn’t know how to help himself. they walked around one another tentatively. she wished she confided in him. he cycled between days of numbness and days of crippling pain.
the wix came back with their food and adrian looked up to offer them a smile in thanks. he looked at the chips, his face wrinkling slightly as he realized his appetite was even less than he thought it was. he picked up a chip, his expression pensive, before taking a small bite and setting the rest down on the edge of the plate. he offered marlene a shrug of his shoulders, noncommittal, before saying, “ not really, no, not since school, i think. ” there was no i think. adrian knew he buried his fascination with chocolate frog cards when derek was buried. in fact, all of his likes and hobbies died with the other boy. “ but if your face was on one, i’d try and find it. like, you are my sister. what living person can say that ?? obviously, like, tobias would be able to, but he’d care less than me, i’m sure. ”
