[Working Title] By Adrian Thorn

A work in progress blog for a work in progress screenplay Mostly snippets, drabbles, and other inspiration for my own writing. -Adrian Thorn

[adriantwrites]

Envy: By @aka-ai

[adriantwrites]

The Next Step

Welp I finished outlining all 20 episodes now I just need to sit down and actually write them

[adriantwrites]

Badly Written Summaries of each Episode of Working Title

Episode 1- Introduce the core cast and why (most) everyone hates Adrian Episode 2- People are terrible in their own wretched ways. These are those ways. Cedric is a good boy though. Episode 3- A priest tries his best to help these sinful bastards find some God in their lives Episode 4- There's a killer on the loose and not nearly enough concern about that fact. Episode 5- Drugs and Alcohol are bad for you folks, maybe don’t do them. Episode 6- Love is the loophole answer to so many problems, being a ho isn’t. Episode 7- Old people who hate each other think back to when they were young and didn’t. Episode 8-Murder isn’t an answer (unless it is). Neither is joining a cult. Episode 9-William wonders where he fucked up in life (It was when he joined Thaddeus) Episode 10- They both reached for a gun. Episode 11- There's a party at the worst possible time and everyone is invited. Episode 12- Murder almost happens at a party- with a killer on the loose who would of imagined this could have happened? Episode 13- We actually find out what Adrian has been writing Episode 14- Its been a month (maybe a few, haven’t decided) and Adrian is stressed the fuck out. Episode 15- Oops all murder. Episode 16- Dramatic man reacts dramatically to admittedly tragic news. Episode 17- Who would of imagined sins don’t play nice with each other? Episode 18- Local man puts two and two together far too late to be able to do anything about it Episode 19- Adrian has gone into such a tailspin a plane with one wing would be easier to land then this. Episode 20- Angry Mob gets answers, but maybe not the answers they want.

[adriantwrites]

Maxwell Lane: By @wanderpus

[adriantwrites]

Maxwell Lane: By @hikkibu

[adriantwrites]

Adrian Thorn: by @aka-ai

[adriantwrites]

Updates from the desk of Adrian

Hey all, life was lifey and I had to put this project down for a while but I’m back with some news. I have the roughest of drafts of episode 2 written, and I had a table read of the teaser to episode 1 and got some great feedback on how I can improve my work! Right now I’ve been working on storyboarding out the series, currently I’ve storyboarded up to Episodes 11 out of a total of 20 - my aim is to have all the storyboarding done by the end of March so there’s that. Tomorrow I’ll post some more art I’ve gotten of characters as well as some more updates if anyone wants to hear them. 

[adriantwrites]

More art of Adrian Thorn while I work on figuring out how to post things here. Drawn by the wonderful @wanderpus​

[adriantwrites]

Adrian Thorn Art By @hikkibu I haven’t had alot of updates here since I’ve been doing alot of family stuff over the holidays and bookkeeping on my end but pretty soon here I’ll have some good updates for you all I swear

[adriantwrites]

[Working Title] By Adrian Thorn: Episode 1 - Teaser

I don’t know that i’ll be posting full episode scripts here, because that just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen but there are a few parts that I am willing to share and post, and if ever there was a part of my writing that I’m proud of its the beginning of episode 1. Put under a Read More because its a bit chunky ________________________________________________________________

Open on a blank black screen, its silent and still. After a few held moments of lasting silence we hear a long sigh of a held breath being released, like the sound of a smoker blowing releasing a cloud of smoke through their mouth. ADRIAN (VO) How does that old saying go again? A deep low ominous beat sounds out like a toll, as the beat strikes, like a pulse the scene opens INT: BRANDOCK MANOR- STUDY We see ADRIAN ( a young looking man, somewhere in his late 20s the only thing that defies his youthful look is his very premature white hair) distressed and disheveled, sat at a very disorganized writing desk in a darkened room writing by candlelight. The room much like himself looks very disorganized and cramped with clutter. We only hear the rough but quiet sound of his quill frantically moving across parchment as he writes. The shot gradually fades back to darkness like the fade out of the toll but the sound of his writing still persists. ADRIAN (VO) Dead men tell no tales? The same heavy beat tolls, and once again the screen pulses to life. EXT: BRANDOCK MANOR- PATHWAY This time we see CEDRIC, (a member of the police squad who seems to lack the air of authority needed for the job), in a full run. Its night. He is rushing down the long path that winds through what is nearly able to be classified as a mire that leads to Brandock Manor. It is clear that he has been running a long way. Breathless panicked gasps for air as he keeps pushing himself onward merge in with the sound of writing, also lingering as it fades to black again. ADRIAN (VO) What absolute nonsense. Toll. The screen pulses. Now panned up and away we can see a good way down the path from where Cedric has run. A sizable mob moving down the same road, the crowd lit by several torches. The angry clamor and chaos of the mob is too distant to be clear or coherent but their voices join the lingering sounds as it fades back to black. ADRIAN (VO) For it is the words of the departed Toll. Pulse. EXT: BRANDOCK MANOR - FRONT DOORS Cedric reaches the front door of the manor nearly falling against it out of breath. There's no time to catch it however- pounding on the door, desperate to be heard. CEDRIC Adrian! Adrian I know you’re there! Open up! Adrian!! As the others it fades back to black once more, the knocking and calls echoing and lingering. ADRIAN (VO) That speak of the fullest experience Toll. Pulse.  INT: BRANDOCK MANOR Inside the manor from the door’s view we see the vacant foyer. Phasing room to room- the dining hall, the library, the grand hallways, the master bedroom- all devoid of any people or signs of life. All the while the sound of Cedric desperately calling for Adrian to answer over the crowd which has become clearer and clearer as they approach echo through the halls. CEDRIC If not for my sake or your own then for Erica! CROWD Killer! Murderer!! CEDRIC It doesn’t have to be this way! CROWD Send that monster straight to hell! CEDRIC: ADRIAN! Unlike before, as the scene fades back to a black screen, all the sound fades out with it rather then growing in chaos. ADRIAN (VO) And the lives of the deceased- Toll. Pulse.  EXT: BRANDOCK MANOR - FRONT DOOR The mob is at the doorstep. They are eerily quiet save for the breath of flame from torches and the shifting of bodies. Cedric turns to face them, eyes scanning the crowd warrily. CEDRIC Just look at yourselves. For the love of God you’re all acting like wild animals. (fearful recognition) Gregory- Moving to the head of the mob steps forth GREGORY (an imposing man, strong in build, an eyepatch over where his right eye should be) scowling at Cedric as he addresses him GREGORY Don’t make this harder than it has to be. One way or another this ends tonight. Instead of fading the scene abruptly cuts to black. ADRIAN (VO) Which we can learn the most from. Toll. Pulse. A direct continuation from the prior situation. It's still uncomfortably quiet, the clear calm before the storm. Cedric is backing away slowly from Gergory, his back pressed against the door. He draws his pistol with a shaking hand pointed towards the crowd. There's no sound of reaction from anyone. It cut straights to black ADRIAN (VO) Thus in this twilight of my final hour I pray, that one day I too can be heard. Toll. The screen doesn’t pulse to life and instead stays black. It stays silent. After a beat long enough it seems something more should have happened, there is another toll. Softer than before as if it is fading. Once again nothing but lingering darkness and empty silence for another beat. A third softer yet toll. When it seems a fourth should come even the sound does not ring out. Instead the darkness ripples as if liquid, a quill tip dipping into it.. As the screen ripples it eases into the first scene we opened on. INT: BRANDOCK MANOR - STUDY Adrian is placing his quill back into its well. Leaning back in his seat, his eyes turn back to the manuscript on the table in front of him. ADRIAN Its nearly done. With any hope once this is finished, I may yet be saved from this hell. All that’s left is t- As he goes to pick up his work, the sound of a gunshot rings out from outside startling Adrian out of his seat, standing to face his door pulling out his own pistol that had been at his side. Staring like a deer in the headlights the sound of a window shattering snaps him out of his daze. Looking back to his desk in a panic. ADRIAN No, not yet. I have to finish this. SLOTH (VO, distant and quiet, almost inaudible) (whispering) No time Adrian. The sound of a door being busted in coming from far off in the house. Adrian flinches for a moment before steeling himself once more. ADRIAN What choice do I have? Adrian stumbles back to his desk, not bothering with the knocked over chair- frantically looking across the mess of a desk for loose unused parchment. Finding some after a moment grabbing his quill up once more writing frantically yet again dictating to try to ignore the sound of the mob entering the manor now. ADRIAN I Adrian Adstros Thorn, being of sound body and mind (chuckles deliriously) that one’s debatable- MOB MAN 1 (VO, distant) Find him and drag him out! He can’t hide forever! ADRIAN Do hereby decree this to be my final will and testament. (Growing more irritated with the ongoing chaos of the house being ransacked) It all amounts to nothing in the end. Let those that remain kill themselves fighting over what I owned for all I care. MOB MAN 2 (VO, also distant) Don’t let him get away! ADRIAN To Maxwell Lane my- He stops himself and pauses to look over his shoulder towards the door to contemplate those raiding the house for just a moment before scratching out something he wrote and beginning again, irritation replaced by a forlorn expression ADRIAN (Cont) ...my old friend whom I have so deeply betrayed; I do not ask for forgiveness from you. I don’t deserve it but rather I pray- for as dark and cruel as this world is, that you manage to find some peace and light within it once more. MOB WOMAN (VO, closer) Make that bastard pay for what he’s done! ADRIAN My sole other request is that this tale be told- He flinches once again as it sounds like the mob is closer yet, a door breaking down, as someone enters the long hall this room is on. GREGORY (VO) I’ll check this wing, you lot go that way! ADRIAN (hysteric) -that even one soul be spared my fate would be enough! GREGORY (VO) Show yourself coward! Cut to a shot of WRATH, he’s in the same room as Adrian but we can’t see him besides his shadowy silhouette moving across the room with purpose towards the door, keep Adrian out of the shot WRATH Yes, Yes. I heard you the first time. You’ll have my head once I’ve seen how many of yours I can rend from your shoulders before you take it. Back to Adrian, who is still near the desk but facing the door now, gripping the edge of the desk eyes wide almost fearful. ADRIAN N-no. no n- Cut to PRIDE, sitting at the edge of the desk, the view is turned once again so that only he is visible, and like WRATH hidden in shadows. His words melting in with Adrian’s. PRIDE No. Why should I just hand myself over to them when I can end this on my own terms? It robs them the satisfaction. PRIDE thrusts the gun at ADRIAN, we cut to ADRIAN who lets the gun clatter loudly to the floor looking anywhere to not look at the pistol. Something suddenly catches his attention looking to the opposite side of the desk as PRIDE. Cut to GREED hidden in shadows holding a box of matches. GREED Or better yet- few’s all it'd take t’ burn ‘alf the city down on the way out. Justice don’t go gettin more poetic then that i’d think. GREED lights a match holding the lit flame up towards Adrian’s face. Adrian after a beat jumps away from the flame and the gun like they’d bitten him. ADRIAN Enough! I didn’t want any of this! Adrian stumbles away from the desk in horror tripping backwards over the knocked over chair landing hard on his behind. Looking to where the chair once was, instead he sees the shadowed figure of SLOTH. SLOTH All I wanted was freedom, to make my own choices. The floor begins to give way as if it were made of water and SLOTH starts to sink down into it. SLOTH Now all I desire is to be left alone, so I can drift away in peace. Trying desperately to get up and move away from the ‘water’ edge Adrian’s legs fail him only managing to push himself backwards away from it, right into LUST’s crouching shadowed form. LUST puts his arms around Adrian’s chest and shoulders, nuzzling into his neck. For the first time fully showing one of the Sins and Adrian in the same shot. LUST To be gently seduced into death’s sweet embrace. Using one hand he traces along up to Adrian’s neck, weaving a rope into existence, the noose tightening and reaching up towards the ceiling pulling Adrian up, him and LUST both slowly standing as it does so. Adrian staring straight forward seemingly entranced and oblivious melting into the words and hold. LUST Breathlessly shuddering, body writhing, until at least we achieve that final euphoric release. GLUTTONY (OS) Now- Adrian’s attention starts to focus once more, turning towards the voice the shadowed form of GLUTTONY standing by a shelf in the corner of the room. GLUTTON Let us take of one final indulgence. Return to Adrian, no rope around him, LUST nowhere to be seen, trembling in horror as he stares towards GLUTTONY in silence. Cut back to GLUTTONY opening a decanter pouring its contents into a glass. GLUTTONY Forget the pain, the worry, the need. Just drown it out like we have before. He places the decanter back to the shelf admiring the glass as he speaks, before offering it out to Adrian GLUTTONY After all, the last drink is no different from the first - it all goes down the same. Cut back again to Adrian near tears. GLUTTONY is no longer there. His eyes move towards where the decanter was sat and instead a bottle of arsenic sits in its place. ADRIAN Even in death will you give me no peace? ENVY (OS) She died loved, didn’t she Adrian? Adrian’s gaze weakly turns to what's straight in front of him, with a look of someone who is betrayed but not shocked. The shadowy figure of ENVY slowly steps towards him, fingers gingerly caress across Adrian’s cheek wiping away the tears that have begun to fall. ENVY She died loved, and in love. How wonderful such a death must be. You realize no matter your choice, that’s a death you’ll never know, right? Cut back to a full room shot. Adrian in the center of the room- The SEVEN all where they were- WRATH by the door, PRIDE and GREED at opposite sides of the desk, SLOTH not laying down but sitting on the legs of the overturned chair, LUST behind Adrian, GLUTTONY leaning on the wall next to the shelf, and ENVY and Adrian facing one another, no longer in shadows and all their resemblance to him is fully able to be taken in. Adrian hangs his head in defeat going to his knees. ADRIAN (Brokenly) Yes.

[adriantwrites]

Writing Lyrics is hard - I have to do it twice for this show, if I ever get this bright idea again someone slap some sense into me

[adriantwrites]

SO...

I can’t figure out how to post any of this without tumblr screwing with the format so I might have to post my work of Working Title somewhere else and link it here. Any suggestions?

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

I was talking to someone today about writing, and I was surprised by how amazed they were by writers’ ability to create a story. They couldn’t understand how JKR was able to create the world of Harry Potter–how she came up a world so far removed from our reality. 

It made me realize something; not everyone can come up with worlds on a whimsy. Not everyone can create characters that they grow so fond of that they’re like real people in their eyes. Not everyone has gone through the experience of a character derailing their story and swearing it wasn’t them typing those words in that document. Not everyone can just envision a story and then just write it. 

I’ve been making stories since I was a small child–it’s something so ingrained in me that to imagine not being able to write (no matter how much I agonize over writing woes) is such a foreign concept to me. Writers, cherish your ability to create stories. Because not everyone can create stories. Because there isn’t anyone in the world who can write the stories you are writing. Because you don’t know when or where there might be a person in the world who needs to hear your story.

[adriantwrites]

Working Title Opener

I found an old old draft of my opening scene when I was writing this as a fiction instead of a script, decided to spruce it a little and post it here

It was quiet. No, perhaps quiet wasn't what it was as a whole. Outside in the dead of night a mob marched for the manor, outside a man pounded on the front doors begging for him to open up and hand himself over. Outside it was certainly not quiet but here, in this dimly lit den whose candles had all but melted themselves out, the cacophony did not reach here just yet and save for the frantic scratching of quill on parchment- it was what one could call quiet, and after a few faux quiet moments more the aforementioned quill found its home once more in its neighboring ink jar that was all but emptied.

"Its nearly done." The writer's voice soft like a windeded breath more suited to the man who had run the entire length of the mire path to reach the front gates then one who had been frantically trying to string together a series of meaningful words onto paper. Any louder and he feared he might break the proverbial bubble that separated him from the outside world. A small delirious chuckle escaped him as he held up the pile of papers easily pushing an inch thick. "With any hope once this is finished, I may yet be saved from this hell. All that's left is t-"

The sound of a gunshot rang out with a terrible blast that didn't just break but shattered the quiet of the room startling the young man bad enough he dropped his documents and reflexively reached for his own pistol pointing it to the locked door of the den. No, no they hadn't found him not yet. They just reached the house. That didn't give him much time, not much at all to finish what he was doing.

'No time Adrian'

Had he thought that to himself or was that one of /them/ whispering to him? Regardless it was right and he didn't have the time to dwell on that debate. He started gathering up his papers but the front door getting busted in made him flinch. No time at all then. Leaving them to the floor for the moment he scrambled back to the desk, almost tripping over the chair he previously knocked over in his first startle and begin to write once more.

"I Adrian Adstros Thorn, being of sound body and mind that's debatable-"

It was hard to write, hard to focus with the mob now pouring into the house, screaming for blood, screaming for justice.

"Do hereby decree this to be my final will and testament. It all amounts to nothing. Let those that remain kill themselves fighting over what I once owned for all I care. To Maxwell Lane my-"

He had to take a pause at that to stop himself. Looking down to the L he began to scrawl after that and glance over his shoulder at the door. Contemplating just what would happen if he wrote the truth here and it was found by those animals. For once, perhaps this time the truth was best left unspoken. Scrawling out what he had begun and starting the next word over as much as it pained him.

"My old friend whom I have so deeply betrayed; I do not beg or ask for forgiveness from you. Heaven and Hell both know I don't deserve it. Rather then I pray- for as dark and cruel as this world is, that you manage to find some peace and light within it once more. My sole other request is that my tale be told-"

Another door down and another scream of people searching him out. They were in the hall now. It was only a matter of time and he still wasn't done. He needed to finish this. He had to finish all of it or everything he had done to get here would be for naught!

"-that even one soul be spared my fate would make it worth it!"

[adriantwrites]

To Clarify

The story is indeed actually titled [Working Title]: By Adrian Thorn (though i’ll usually shorten it to just Working Title, both for ease of speech and because the tags probably don’t like the brackets) and it is not infact a working title for me to replace later on.

[adriantwrites]

I’m writing [Working Title] as a screenplay because due to the nature of the story it all but requires a visual medium to be able to tell it but would it be crazy to write it as a prose as well if only for my sake to figure out actions and movement and all of that fun jazz - Question goes out to all of my followers and anyone else. 

[thatwritergirlsblog]

Invaluable writing tips (From Blake Snyder’s “Save the Cat”)

I just finished this book on screenwriting and have highlighted some amazing advice for novelists as well:

1. Save the Cat

This refers to a scene at the beginning of yoru manuscript in which the main character does something that makes the reader root for them them i.e. saving a cat.

This doesn’t have to be something altruistic - it can include smarts or humour or naivety - just something that will make the reader want to follow this character through the story.

Without this scene, you’ll probably end up with a boring character. And no matter how amazing your plot, you need a “followable” character to carry it.

2. The Pope in the Pool

This refers to a scene in which necessary exposition is given whilst the audience is distracted by something more entertaining i.e. having the Pope explain important backstory aspects whilst doing laps in the Vatican Pool.

This is the best way to give readers the information they need whilst still keeping them engaged. Something funny/interesting/moving should happen whilst this necessary exposition is provided.

3. Double Mumbo Jumbo

This refers to the mistake many writers make in asking readers to believe in more than one type of magic/miracle. This suspends reality too much and causes the reader to lose faith in the realism/probability of your story.

So, if you already have magical fairies, don’t throw aliens into the mix as well.

ONE magical element is enough.

4. Laying Pipe

Another error often made is writing a story that needs too much set-up. This means that so much backstory must be explored in the first part of the novel that your catalyst only occurs at page 100 or so.

This will cause readers to lose interest long before they’ve reached the inciting incident. If you don’t get the beginning right and move on the exciting stuff as soon as possible, it doesn’t matter how great your ending is, since few readers will get there.

5. Watch out for that Glacier

This is when the danger in your novel takes too long/perhaps the whole book to get to your characters/to threaten them. Therefore, the reader is aware that there is some eventual threat, but the characters aren’t affected by it throughout the story.

It’s a glacier coming for them rather than a missile. And it dampens the tension.

6. The Covenant of the Arc

Every somewhat important character in the novel should change, except for the bad guy. This is what will ultimately distinguish your good guys from your villain: moral change.

So, take a look at the journey of every primary and secondary character in your manuscript and ensure that they grow/experience some for m of change that is brought about by the events in the story.

7. Keep the Press Out

This is the tip I think should be used with the most circumspection. It’s for you to decide whether you want to follow this piece of advice or not.

This tip calls for leaving media coverage/the press out of your story. If some supernatural/extraterrestrial event occurs in a secluded neighbourhood and remains a family secret, it’s much easier for your reader to believe that it could really have happened than if the whole world is supposedly in on it.

Like I said, use with discretion.

These are all Blake Snyder’s tips (not mine) and are explored in greater detail in the book. So, if you would like more information and more great advice, I suggest grabbing a copy.

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