warfare guru @adriles - Tumblr Blog

its tough to do violent combat these days. people arent nearly as accepting of vicious war crimes as they used to be. people will judge you

#favorite #and just putting this in the tags since this is the pinned post #if u see this and say achilles then #yeah girl #that is what this all is #greatest hits #anyways. these r just silly posts. but i like to imbue them with themes #enjoy xoxoxo #also important notes ig. since this is the pinned post #i joke about war crimes and shit like that but dont send me weird asks asking me to comment on perverse things cause u think theyre funny #i will block u #dril inspired. some heavily cause if u just change the words around a bit #it is incredibly fitting #but many home grown #when all u do is stare at dril tweets u eventually get the hang of it

lording over the heedless dead means nothing if i cant even aura farm

#so it was exactly as expected if not worse #mediocre nolan movie and Horrible Odyssey Adaptation #i was pleasantly surprised by tom holland’s telemachus and as expected loved pattinson #but what the ever loving fuck happened with everything else #helen and menelaus why would they massacre you like this #lupita looked gorgeous but why are we heavily scarring her face. and what happened to literally any of book 4 #agamemnon im not as mad at but every time he came on screen i did laugh because all he did was stand there in that ugly armor #him just standing behind the scaean gate like 🧍‍♂️ made me lose it #not to mention how he moved in the realm of the dead?? he looked like he was on a hoverboard #but genuinely how do you make encountering monsters boring??#worst circe depiction ive ever seen too. which is a shame because i love her actress #so many women so depressed to make a point about power. in the epic with women in power. weird #damon was a great lead but just So Not Odysseus #i really do think the issue with this movie is that nolan should have never done the odyssey #he doesnt appreciate the whimsy and the tricks and turns of odysseus enough #he should’ve done the aeneid

im dying in the heat of glorious battle and going to the elysian fields, where the souls of the legendary war boys of the past reside for all eternity, as soon as i find out whether or not honor is truly worth it

#odyssey time in an hour…..again. nolan this better be ok or im stealing shit out your house #my hopes are getting lower and lower the more i hear about this movie #but im praying it is as good as the critics say and the costuming is the only real problem

banking on becoming one of those guys that serves as a dire warning so tthat the living might be warned that dying for honor sucks actually

#the odyssey

come over Men. patroclus is roasting some hog in my hut and we can all have as big of portions as we want

#book 9 #patroclus #odysseus #big ajax #phoenix #im gonna do a very quick odyssey reread pre movie actually i think #amp up for the big reveal #my thought going in judging my critics right now is #good nolan movie bad odyssey adaptation #but im open to surprises. as well as disaster #theatre we are going to is tavern style so if shit does hit the fan. i will be able to drink through the pain god bless

i see how ti is. i provide a list of all of my weaknesses and vulnerabilities to a trojan princess but when i ask to meet her at the temple of Apollo she leaves me for DEAd

#polyxena #deiphobus #paris #apollo

attn trojans who wolud love to try to attack and kill me: i am pissed of fand on the field of battle. are you ready to die in pursuit of glory

#book 20 #just got my odyssey ticket for the 16th #every critic right now is saying it is a masterpiece but the armor in every trailer shot sucks so bad #and i still think literally every casting but nyong’o’s and pattinson’s is Not Good #to the characters i mean. like im really only convinced that those two can give the energy required of their roles in terms of accuracy #christopher nolan if this movie ends up being bad im stealing shit out of your house #god the aesthetic choices still make me so sick though #so close to dendra panoply moment #only for Whatever The Fuck Is Happening There to. be there in its stead #that and what was up with those photos of the actors in pants

any embalming tips? patroclus had a war accident and died—i already washed the clotted blood from his body and filled his wounds with unguent. whats next

#book 18 #patroclus

on the field of battle, smoke show babes are putting my men to the sword . Perfect Dimes, Beautiful beautiful women. theyre killing them. Stop the violence

#penthesilea #aethiopis

die by incredible violence or whatever. i dont care anymore.

#greatest hits

me: I'm Stupid. I spent all week drinking wine and jerking it in my tent because of how pissed off I am. Now Patroclus has fallen in battle. I have lost him. I'm Cringe Fail.

Xanthus, the famous foal: The Hour Of Your Doom Draws Nigh

#balius and xanthus #i did almost change nigh to neigh #but that is too silly #book 19 #patroclus

The year is 1217 BCE. There's battle tomorrow and your mom just commissioned you a fine set of armor from Lord Hephaestus. Youve been staring at the bloated corpse of Patroclus for 19 hours straight

#book 18 #book 19 #thetis #patroclus #hephaestus #happy belated mothers day with this one #yes i know thetis promises to keep him from rotting #and pours nectar into his nose to keep his flesh fresh #but that does come after she brings achilles’ armor at dawn of the next day #he has already been dead for almost 24 hours #by this time he is in rigor and his body discolored most likely #the body does begin bloating 24 hours in #you just dont really see it completely bloat until like 3-5 days #because at that point the decomposition starts #so really she is kind of just putting him on ice at the very beginning of the process. so he could be slightly bloated #and just not going beyond that point #all this to defend my adjective choice here lol #greatest hits

seeing lebron james effortlessly play and defend all positions on the basketball court is worthless to me. It;s nothing compared to my combat prowess. if he met me on the field of battle i would beat his ass . and i Fucking guarantee it.

#this is entirely inspired by the new odyssey movie lebron advertisement #Because genuinely What #that movie is going to Not Be Good but lebron being in it without any explanation #would be hilarious #i need odysseus to pull up to erebus and have all the danaans shooting hoops with lebron with no explanation #it would make the film tolerable at least #this is also my personal thought that if confronted with any sports prowess achilles would immediately try testing himself against it #like how can you read the first half of book 22 where he is just egging hector on #as anything other than a cocky jock being like. oh im going to beat you sooo bad come on try me. try me coward #he is an asshole

With my heart filled with unbearable grief and a fierce anger, i’ll pierce straight through the trojan ranks.. (I smack my ankle against my chariot and go completely silent for 5 minutes)

#book 19 #if you saw this while it still said knee no you didnt

me & the boys are comparing war trauma and arguing over who deserves the most sympathy for what we have endured in battle. is anyone here an expert on Victims? or Grief?

It’s cool that grief will never leave and there is no comfort to be found in violent revenge. In fact it is great that sorrowing will achieve nothing as we are doomed to suffer further sorrows. I love it.

Attn All Lovers Of Doggos, Pupperinos & Furbabies—We Are Collecting Your Pets With The Purpose Of Throwing Them Atop A Beautiful Burning Funeral Pyre So That They Might Ensure Patroclus’ Safe Passage Into The Underworld.

#book 23 #patroclus #sorry no april fools posting #i couldn’t decide on anyone to change this to this year #that and i have been super busy these past weeks #in other news i finally accepted a phd offer so that is fun and sexy

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