warfare guru @adriles - Tumblr Blog

its tough to do violent combat these days. people arent nearly as accepting of vicious war crimes as they used to be. people will judge you

#favorite #and just putting this in the tags since this is the pinned post #if u see this and say achilles then #yeah girl #that is what this all is #greatest hits #anyways. these r just silly posts. but i like to imbue them with themes #enjoy xoxoxo #also important notes ig. since this is the pinned post #i joke about war crimes and shit like that but dont send me weird asks asking me to comment on perverse things cause u think theyre funny #i will block u #dril inspired. some heavily cause if u just change the words around a bit #it is incredibly fitting #but many home grown #when all u do is stare at dril tweets u eventually get the hang of it

on the field of battle, smoke show babes are putting my men to the sword . Perfect Dimes, Beautiful beautiful women. theyre killing them. Stop the violence

#penthesilea #aethiopis

die by incredible violence or whatever. i dont care anymore.

me: I'm Stupid. I spent all week drinking wine and jerking it in my tent because of how pissed off I am. Now Patroclus has fallen in battle. I have lost him. I'm Cringe Fail.

Xanthus, the famous foal: The Hour Of Your Doom Draws Nigh

#balius and xanthus #i did almost change nigh to neigh #but that is too silly #book 19 #patroclus

The year is 1217 BCE. There's battle tomorrow and your mom just commissioned you a fine set of armor from Lord Hephaestus. Youve been staring at the bloated corpse of Patroclus for 19 hours straight

#book 18 #book 19 #thetis #patroclus #hephaestus #happy belated mothers day with this one #yes i know thetis promises to keep him from rotting #and pours nectar into his nose to keep his flesh fresh #but that does come after she brings achilles’ armor at dawn of the next day #he has already been dead for almost 24 hours #by this time he is in rigor and his body discolored most likely #the body does begin bloating 24 hours in #you just dont really see it completely bloat until like 3-5 days #because at that point the decomposition starts #so really she is kind of just putting him on ice at the very beginning of the process. so he could be slightly bloated #and just not going beyond that point #all this to defend my adjective choice here lol #greatest hits

seeing lebron james effortlessly play and defend all positions on the basketball court is worthless to me. It;s nothing compared to my combat prowess. if he met me on the field of battle i would beat his ass . and i Fucking guarantee it.

#this is entirely inspired by the new odyssey movie lebron advertisement #Because genuinely What #that movie is going to Not Be Good but lebron being in it without any explanation #would be hilarious #i need odysseus to pull up to erebus and have all the danaans shooting hoops with lebron with no explanation #it would make the film tolerable at least #this is also my personal thought that if confronted with any sports prowess achilles would immediately try testing himself against it #like how can you read the first half of book 22 where he is just egging hector on #as anything other than a cocky jock being like. oh im going to beat you sooo bad come on try me. try me coward #he is an asshole

With my heart filled with unbearable grief and a fierce anger, i’ll pierce straight through the trojan ranks.. (I smack my ankle against my chariot and go completely silent for 5 minutes)

#book 19 #if you saw this while it still said knee no you didnt

me & the boys are comparing war trauma and arguing over who deserves the most sympathy for what we have endured in battle. is anyone here an expert on Victims? or Grief?

It’s cool that grief will never leave and there is no comfort to be found in violent revenge. In fact it is great that sorrowing will achieve nothing as we are doomed to suffer further sorrows. I love it.

Attn All Lovers Of Doggos, Pupperinos & Furbabies—We Are Collecting Your Pets With The Purpose Of Throwing Them Atop A Beautiful Burning Funeral Pyre So That They Might Ensure Patroclus’ Safe Passage Into The Underworld.

#book 23 #patroclus #sorry no april fools posting #i couldn’t decide on anyone to change this to this year #that and i have been super busy these past weeks #in other news i finally accepted a phd offer so that is fun and sexy

the media thinks its good when a man falls victim to the whims of fate and is doomed to an untimely end. they especially like it if he says "The gods have spun the thread of fate for wretched mortals". They love tragedy & want us dead

#book 24

used the last remaining amount of my spirit force to transform mny tween son into a killing machine so that he may fell the walls of the troy

#neoptolemus #sometimes i sit and i ask if running adriles actually brings me joy anymore #and then i am possessed by an evil spirit and suddenly i am compelled to post #bizarre compulsion for real #i can’t give it up this is the world’s weirdest addiction basically

(suddenly becoming very somber) there’s no benefit in frigid tears. You just MOve on and spit-roast more meat

#book 24 #priam #grill boy 5000 #it really is so funny that achilles has not 1 but 2 meal prep scenes #he would be so intolerable to cook for even when he is ordering other people to prep stuff #he is preparing the exact cut in 9 and getting noted for serving it in 24 #obviously it is about the respect and the gesture of giving of it all but #he is that type of guy to be constantly monitoring the grill at a bbq giving burger tips to whoever is grilling #that are just thinly veiled insults about burger flipping and proper char

thinking about loading and launching my ships tomorrow. havent made my sacrifices to Zeus and the other gods yet but i will let you all know when i do so you can see my fleet sail the teeming hellespont. sound off in hte comments below , i will not be reading them

#book 9 #funniest book of all time this whole to do starts with achilles quite literally saying #ok i’m going to be soo real with you guys rn. don’t even try to persuade me against this. but i am so done #it is so drama queen.

despite the most recent Bull Shit the sons of atreus are now saying, i will never be found, unsheathing my sword in anger . strife is not dear to me at all actually

#book 1 #agamemnon

things woud go fucking crazy if me and a woman of great martial prowess got up to some combat Shit

#aethiopis #penthesilea

I encourage more war boys to dump Bodies into the shallow waters of the river scamander, as a Courtesy to the Fish and Eels in there .

#book 21 #scamander

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