Adventures in Fanfiction Summaries

Strange, silly, and funny summaries straight from Fanfiction.net. Immediately-identifying information has been removed to protect the innocent, or at least their dignity. This blog does not condone tracking down the writers in question to make fun of them or be a jerk to them.

[twinkle-night]

anyway yeah, my main blog is the static site on my own domain, Brilliant Gedou. I have backups of all my tumblr blogs, so I should probably do some regexing and port them over to BG for safekeeping

[adventuresinfanfictionsummaries]

Types of fanfic summaries and what they mean

First paragraph of the actual fic: I judge the whole fic by the first words and I assume you do too so here it is

"Just a series or drabbles/headcanons/prompts": Someday I want to write an incredible 200k fic but for now have fun going through all the chapters trying to figure out which one is the one you actually want to read

"Will X be able to find love before Y happens?" And other questions: I read entirely too many YA novels

Quote from the actual fic: I watch entirely too many movie trailers

"Basically just an X fic with Y characters": I can probably write a good summary if I cared a little more

Song lyrics: I have no idea how summaries work and I'm trying to be like the people with poem quotes

Poem quotes: either the best thing you've ever read or 13-year old English literature purple prose there is no in-between

Lol I can't do summaries: I'm not entirely sure if I want you to read my fic

"Wtf is this" or other author questioning themselves: it's either porn or crack

Explicit rated fics: listen my man I know you're not gonna really read the summary just read the tags and decide if my sin is the sin for you

Paragraph of tags and one line summary: ok listen I can't do summaries but I've got this ok IVE GOT THIS

dictionary definition: fluff or angst here you go

Either a meme or a tumblr imagine your otp: I was bored and I had emotions about my ship you can have emotions about them too

Paragraph from the source the fic is from: I've basically written my headcanon and made it prettier

"I'm so sorry" or "I cried while writing this" : I was in a sad mood and I needed a healthy way to release these emotions so now y'all get to suffer

No summary: it's either porn or a small drabble and it all depends on the word count

Actual fic summary: *rocks back on old wheelchair* listen kid *smokes cigarette* I've seen and read a lot of things *blows smoke* and I know it's hard but there's still hope in this world ok? *looks into the distance* also you might wanna read the tags because the chances of gore and/or character death being in my fic have gone from 0 to 75

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Mature content! Warning: It’s not recommended that you read this material if you are of the following: A disapproving parent of this content, fangirl, or homophobic. There are chances of serious injuries that may occur from smashing your device in anger, banging yourself against something in excitement, or fainting from being unprepared.

[adventuresinfanfictionsummaries]

Characters act irrationally

[fwips]

my pet peeve are fic summaries with something deep and obscure that not only tell me nothing about the story but dont MEAN anything theyre just words like

‘When lost eyes lock onto a summer’s shadow, will love make it in the end?? [content warnings]: anal fisting ‘

[rizzlewrites]

I think I just inhaled coffee through my nose.

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Relevant.

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I spent my free time in the library, learning all I could about bestiality.

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And by steam, I mean semen

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a school founded [...] to show the world what High School is really about! 14 people will battle it out to graduate and get 10 MILLION DOLLARS!

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[character] makes a decision that affects everyone.

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the murder of five oriental women

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A guy named [hero] and a girl named [heroine] meet at a bar and [heroine] suddenly ter she finds herself in a bed...not a hospital bed but a regular en [heroine] looked over to see [hero]!

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Read, Rate, and Review or I will throw Combustible Lemons at you.

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It was one rainy Christmas Eve in 2008 that [heroine] saw him in the corner bookstore, lecturing the storekeeper on the true meaning in the Charles Dickens classic. He was loud, disagreeable, and frankly rude, but [heroine] had never seen anything more beautiful in her life. Because standing in front of her was none other than the man whom she was certain she had buried a century ago.

are u telling me this is a story about an asshole who comes back from the dead to continue being an asshole

[adventuresinfanfictionsummaries]

Ecstasy, Depression, Caution, Hatred and Revulsion. Those are the voices in the head of [character A], the son of a Brazilian helicopter pilot. Will [character B]be able to help [character C] tame the beasts inside?

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m/m mpreg […] Nothing too explicit.

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[character] casts the spell and nothing happens. Or will something happen?

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[character]'s sister, Princess, has come to join the Clans. Will she die? HELL YEAH! GO GO POWER RANGERS!