Adventures with Artie

Ellie. 26. UK. Mother to Arthur and Delilah. The chronicles of my adventures with my amazing little loves.

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I Pretended To Be a Member of the Press and Emailed MLM Executives

If you aren’t aware of what a MultiLevel Marketing company is yet, it’s basically a pyramid scheme + direct selling. Pyramid schemes are illegal, so the workaround is that they have people sell products in addition to pyramid scheming. The products are usually heavily overpriced and sometimes defective.

A pyramid scheme is when the only way you can make money is recruiting other people to join you. The only people who get rich are the people at the top of the pyramid.

These companies waste a lot of people’s time and energy and prey on people who are dreaming to get out of the 9 to 5 cycle or yearning to start their own business.

So I started emailing their top level executives memes I made of them and signing my name as Jackie Jones, Press Relations for Coloradoan Times.

I started with the VP of Corporate Affairs at Herbalife:

And he responded right away:

Not everyone responded but they probably saw the memes I sent to them anyway:

Some companies might have wondered who the rat is:

Other companies confirmed that their CEO definitely read the meme:

Monat is a hair and skin MLM that’s products have been known to cause baldness. They responded with their lawyers:

But Jackie Jones wouldn’t be intimidated:

www.patreon.com/palmertrolls

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Hey tumblr. It’s been a while.

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New tat

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Ran my first half marathon today in memory of my mum and stepdad.

Absolutely elated, emotional, overwhelmed and proud of myself.

My only goal (aside from finishing of course) was to run without stopping, which I managed to do, though the last 800m took a hell of a lot of mental strength and telling myself “you can fucking do this.”

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My babies are growing, so quickly and I’d love if it could slow down a little.

A has just started preschool, he has a uniform and I’m feeling grief not because he is growing up, but that in a small way, away from me. He’s happy and loving and I adore this stage of his life - the questions and the conversations.

D is 16 months old and fierce. She’s super attached to me and still boobing strong with no signs of stopping. I’m ok with that and happy to continue as long as she wants to. Her favourite word is “No” and she can make her needs and wants clear. She reminds me of me.

I’m busy studying onto my second year of a law degree. It’s hard finding the time with the kids but we make it work and I’ve loved challenging myself and using my brain, it’s kept me sane, honestly. I’ve found running/exercise and I’m firmly keeping hold of the parts of myself that are external to the children.

Husband’s health is good currently and he’s working hard but we’ve got a better work/life balance which 18 months ago was something of a pipe dream.

[narwhalertheimpaler]

This is the most accurate description I’ve ever found, thought it was worth spreading ❀

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Do you use Instagram? I miss your posts

I do use insta, it’s www.instagram.com/eleanorjanebrown if you’d like to follow me. I hardly use tumblr now as there just never seems the time but this anon has reminded me of it so I’ll try to post again! Thank you for sending me this, this brightened my day.

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Tumblr. It’s been a while!

Delilah is now 10 months old, a boob monster and almost walking which sounds great but in theory is really hard word as she has the physical ability to get wherever she wants to be but is still so small!

Arthur is 3.5 and full of love and energy and really enjoys saying “what” approximately 70,000 times a day.

The kids are just in love with each other and are each other’s favourite person which makes me so happy. All of my worrying about how Arthur would adjust, how I would manage with two offspring now feels quite silly as I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m plodding along, almost finished my first year of a law degree with exams coming up which I absolutely love having switched over last year from business. I’m not back at work yet as studying full time for as long as we can afford.

Life is pretty good.

[today-only-happens-once]

to my Jewish followers

You are loved. Take care of yourselves today, tonight, always. 

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Almost 6 months in and still boobing strong 💪🏻

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Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol

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Toddlers... oh I love this. There is something so special about being this age, so innocent.

My almost 3 year old today asked me about a spot on my face.

Me: “It’s a spot baby, it’s nothing to be worried about, sometimes Mummy gets spots”

Toddler: “But Mummy, who did it? Was it daddy? DADDDYYYY, THAT IS VERY UNKIND DADDY TO DO THAT TO MUMMYS SPOT...”

Me: “no no darling, it wasn’t Daddy, it wasn’t anyone, it just happened and it’s ok”

Toddler: “Oh, ok Mummy. I’m sorry to Daddy. Let me kiss your spot better”.

[elierlick]

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“Babe can you take one of them insta pictures of me? You know, where I look like I’ve been casually going about my day and snapped looking all natural & off guard? Just try and avoid the baby shit on my leg, that’ll be great!” If any of our neighbours were wondering what the hell was going on this morning… well this is it. #motherhood https://www.instagram.com/p/BpNJQjuAcj3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ho19c3ovt8k2

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I love her and her double chin.

Funny isn’t it how a baby having a double chin is SO ADORABLE but we don’t celebrate the same thing as adults?

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Once, I licked chocolate off my toddlers head.

It wasn’t chocolate.

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Pretty sure this baby would be happy if permanently attached to the boob. Sleep on the other hand doesn’t seem to be required 🤦🏻‍♀️

[parentheticalaside]

Seeing people posting about how they don’t personally have to do anything about climate change because corporations and governments need to do the bulk of the work. Listen, this problem is so big and pressing that every fucking person needs to pull their weight in addition to the corporations and governments who need to do the bulk of the work.

Collectively, the difference between you being someone who buys less, plants more, eats more ethically, recycles, takes totes into stores, uses mass transit or rides a bike and being a person who doesn’t do anything because you’ve decided it’s always someone else’s problem is fucking huge. That time you littered adds to the millions of other times other people littered. The time you left the water on while you brushed your teeth adds to the millions of other times other people left the water on while they brushed their teeth.

You influence people. Your actions are noticed. People follow your lead. Yes, you.

You are part of we. Do your fucking part.