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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@ae-morgana
"there is no peace in loving you," 9.24.2021 mood: odeum by gin wigmore (i recommend the listen so you can feel both our pain) . . . . . . . #poetry #poems #poet #poetryoninstagram #poemsoninstagram #poetsoninstagram #poetsofınstagram #instagrampoetry #instagrampoems #instagrampoet #poetsonig #poetsofig #igpoetry #igpoems #igpoems #igpoem #risinglightpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CUODESChtWs/?utm_medium=tumblr
"resigned," 10.6.2021 mood: drew barrymore by sza the song is hitting harder this turn around . . . . . . . #poetry #poems #poet #poetryoninstagram #poemsoninstagram #poetsoninstagram #poetsofınstagram #instagrampoetry #instagrampoems #instagrampoet #poems #poemsofig #poetsonig #poetsofig #igpoetry #igpoems #igpoems #igpoem #risinglightpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CUtS3fbJuO_/?utm_medium=tumblr
"flagellation, 10.07.2021 mood: the visual this gives this was derived from my 2020 poem "watered-down fire" . . . . . . . #poetry #poems #poet #poetryoninstagram #poemsoninstagram #poetsoninstagram #poetsofınstagram #instagrampoetry #instagrampoems #instagrampoet #poetsonig #poetsofig #igpoetry #igpoems #igpoems #igpoem #risinglightpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CUvyjicpD4x/?utm_medium=tumblr
"your heaven isn't worth all this hell," 10.13.2021 mood: midnight sky by miley cyrus definitely been playing on repeat. . . . . . . . #poetry #poems #poet #poetryoninstagram #poemsoninstagram #poetsoninstagram #poetsofınstagram #instagrampoetry #instagrampoems #instagrampoet #poetsonig #poetsofig #igpoetry #igpoems #igpoems #igpoem #risinglightpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CVBvpB9JNPK/?utm_medium=tumblr
"self-flagellation, 10.07.2021 mood: the visual this gives this was derived from my 2020 poem "watered-down fire" . . . . . . . #poetry #poems #poet #poetryoninstagram #poemsoninstagram #poetsoninstagram #poetsofınstagram #instagrampoetry #instagrampoems #instagrampoet #poetsonig #poetsofig #igpoetry #igpoems #igpoems #igpoem #risinglightpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CUvyjicpD4x/?utm_medium=tumblr
"resigned," 10.6.2021 mood: drew barrymore by sza the song is hitting harder this turn around . . . . . . . #poetry #poems #poet #poetryoninstagram #poemsoninstagram #poetsoninstagram #poetsofınstagram #instagrampoetry #instagrampoems #instagrampoet #poems #poemsofig #poetsonig #poetsofig #igpoetry #igpoems #igpoems #igpoem #risinglightpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CUtS3fbJuO_/?utm_medium=tumblr
sometimes i want to bring you back get into your fold
sometimes i want to see you in the daylight this time the real color of your eyes
sometimes i want to feel the things you used to make me feel so bad thumb poised to press send
but only sometimes
sometimes | a.e.morgana
old blood spills out dead brown and unnourished soured blood my heart once bled for you
the bad blood i kept between us the tissue once infected with your tar is no longer dark, clotted, or kept alive by indignation
it's out bled out you're gone left my body finally
menstruation | a.e.morgana
you've shorn your hair in reinvention a new beginning forced to come
with your head a little lighter you hold it up high touting around like things can finally get done who you want to be is who you'll become
but are we going to pretend like you haven't done this before? that what you sheared off didn't cut out what's wrong with you?
oh haven't you learned it takes more than just blind will it takes everything you have and more than that still
the future lays before you what are you going to do about it this time?
haircut | a.e.morgana
i pile all the blankets and pillows on me while i sleep to feel the weight of being loved
the weight of love | a.e.morgana
you knew i was host to a tempest in your honor
you knew there was a maelstrom swirling with your name howling in its wind tunneling deep
you knew this you know this now and still you breeze across my calm sea in blissful willful ignorance expecting the same ignorance from me
but you know it existed you know it devastated
that's why i can't forgive you
and even if you apologize now it's too late i've existed too much for you already
i owe you no favors | a.e.morgana
i miss the loneliness when i had no one and i pined for everyone
it only ever wrenched my body
this kind is harder wrenching agony in my mind as well
to bear the loneliness while out there blazes an option to not be if i give in and give up my self-respect
a different kind of lonely | a.e.morgana
leave me alone to write the things you couldn't do
leave me to my pen and paper pages stitched together by the hairs i've raked in frustration over you
leave me to weave my misery into hope
leave me to my boney fingers and bitten nails to hold onto what's left of me and to keep it far from you
the writer as an ex | a.e.morgana
i wish i was harder
my extremities are sure and solid i touch, i grab, i take my legs carry me towards and away but my inside is soft such impressionable softness of red velvet putty
it keeps me from being thoroughly hardened mercilessly brave, relentless, impenetrable, incorruptible
safe and protected
i wish i could take without being taken myself
but i can't change this softness -- i've tried
it's this very softness that keeps me from going back to you
chocolate caramel candy | a.e.morgana
why do we stay become someone else entirely letting that one aching part take over the whole? why do we do things we never thought we'd do when we are lonely?
things we said we never would or could but we do
we did
we are
lonely hearts | a.e.morgana
eyes scrunched closed a slight whimper of defeat then i drop strings cut, plummet heavy, deadweight a merciless fall down down down hurtling towards the ground
you said you would catch me, are able and willing i might crush you but i'm too tired to care i'm not gonna stop or gonna slow down
you said you would catch me if i fall for you so i'm fucking gonna
i yield | a.e.morgana
laying, them beside my fingers sweeping their hairline
our breaths falling at the same time
i am theirs and they are mine
i want this every night
peace | a.e.morgana