firestained.

auburn hayden / vohon. immortal. personification of october. written by jana. active, affiliated with calendaresques.

[389]

New Earth, Eruption in Iceland Thrainn Kolbeinsson

[aegnite]

woesday  /  sin​aldra weaver.

          ah, how unfortunate. it had been a while since she had felt properly healthy, and it had much to do with volunteer work before, and MOVING then. eating, sleeping and resting often eluded her, as they often impeded the things she otherwise openly WANTED to do. that she should stagger so when facing a medical professional of all kinds of people was unfortunate. ❝ that is one way to make my display all the more embarrassing, ❞ she teased softly. ❝ a pleasure, doctor vohon. i am sinaldra weaver, i recently opened a bookshop a little further away. i apologise again, i don’t usually make a habit of nearly fainting in the streets. ❞

‘ ‘ it would be a very bad habit, ’ ’  auburn agreed easily as she let her gaze soften.  nobody had to tell her that she was too intense for most people’s tastes and that it could be  . . .  off-putting.  invasive.  there had been many words for it in the past,  but she was calmer these days.  less raging wildfire,  more happily crackling fireplace.  ‘ ‘ and i’m sorry to inform you, but as scenic and picturesque as the cobblestone streets are,  it hurts a lot when you do fall.  but you mustn’t apologise,  ms weaver,  i am happy to help.  now --- let me ask about that store of yours  . . .   i don’t think i’ve seen it yet.  what kind of books do you sell?  mostly fiction or academic works as well? ’ ’ 

[arsonistblue]

you've been hit by

you've been struck by

a roman senator ₍ₓ₂₃₎

[aegnite]

tarot card: the high priestess, the fool, the moon :eyes:

the high priestess  :  how does your muse make decisions ?  do they trust their instinct or would they rather trust their heart / their logic ?

auburn tends to make decisions based on her instincts,  instincts that are reliable after so many years of collecting experiences.  most of the time,  her instinct is the first to hand in its  ‘opinion’  and if the situation demands a quick decision,  she will go with what her instinct tells her based on its speed.  one could even argue that there is no conscious thought process behind those instinct-based decisions as they are the experience-based result to a specific situation,  not the product of careful evaluation.  that being said,  she is not reckless and she will follow different processes in different situations.  for example --- when she has to make financial decisions,  she will base her decision on logic.  

the fool  :  what are your muse’s thoughts on new beginnings ?  does it frighten them or  excite them ?

truthfully,  she is not certain if anyone else  ( anyone else immortal )  has as many failed new beginnings in their past,  but she is sure that she is up there on the podium when it comes to attempts of quitting her more self-destructive behaviourisms.  she has managed to quit a lot of the difficult things such as cigarettes with surprising success,  but she is currently trying to quit caffeine for the eleventh time this decade,  young as it is,  and she is not very optimistic about this attempt either.  mornings without coffee are difficult,  and she has not yet found something else that wakes her up as reliably.

nevertheless --- auburn has never shied away from new beginnings.  for the most part,  she even enjoys them,  though she has her difficulties when it comes to letting go of what lies behind her.  she is the product of a long and complicated past,  a past that does not let go just because it might be easier.

the moon  : what does your muse long for ?  is it a realistic desire ?

a word ahead --- she knows how unrealistic her desire for peace of mind is,  knows that in all likelihood,  she would not be particularly suited to this sudden change because it would be such a jarring difference to her life thus far . . .  she would still enjoy it nevertheless.  should that be too unrealistic,  she would like at least a few years of relative peace before the next disaster.

[aegnite]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓 .

▌ 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  :    auburn vohon,  supposedly née hayden. ▌ 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍  :     married to noel vohon. ▌ 𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 / 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒  :   medical knowledge,  expert hand-to-hand combatant,  immortality (underlying condition). ▌ 𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑  :     hazel. ▌ 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑  :     red. ▌ 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒  :      dylan and sven hayden (brothers),  noel vohon (husband),  felix montgomery-vohon (son). ▌ 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐒  :     felix’ lizard atticus lives in their home, and she and noel have been talking about getting a dog at some point. ▌ 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄  :     double standards,  child abusers,  other abusers. ▌ 𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒 / 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒  :      photography,  tending to her garden,  reading,  cooking,  sparring with her friends. ▌ 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄  :    yes. ▌ 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌  :   tiger. ▌ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒  :     ask adrian for a comprehensive list,  but --- notoriously over-protective,  prone to aggression,  impulsiveness and moodiness as well as bouts of depression.  and she tends to tolerate more than she should in regards to herself. ▌ 𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐒  :     she has lived too long for role models,  most of them lost their luster centuries ago and she is done being disappointed. ▌ 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  :    heterosexual. ▌ 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄   /   𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒  :     she is married and she has a son,  and she is very happy with both.  10 / 10,  she’d recommend it. ▌ 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒  :    dying,  failure,  abandonment,  those close to her dying. ▌ 𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒  :    simple,  practical clothes strong colours that she can mix and match with ease.  scarves are a staple of her closet,  she almost always wears one.  some days,  she takes the time to play around with fashion  ( those days were more common when she was still working for the magazine ),  but these days,  she rather prefers to sleep ten minutes longer. ▌ 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄  :     her brothers,  noel,  felix,  beatrice  ( even if it is difficult,  sometimes ),  april,  joné,  mark,  dimitri,  yulan,  valentine,  seth,  eleanor,  leo . . . she loves a lot of people. ▌ 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐎 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒  :      auburn’s friendship comes with the guarantee that it never ends entirely.  if her friend is mortal,  she will remain friendly to their family for generations to come,  even if she never watched over a family the way others might have.  if her friend is immortal,  the friendship is cast in stone and very few things can change anything about it.  when a friend calls for her,  whether it is for a walk in the park or in an hour of need,  she will do her best to reach them as far as humanly possible. ▌ 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊  :    coffee. ▌ 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐓  :   she can find happiness almost anywhere,  but the older she gets,  the more she comes to appreciate quiet places.  in her younger years,  she would make places into something that suited her,  by now,  she takes what she gets. ▌ 𝐒𝐖𝐈𝐌 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍  :   both.  she has never been the picky sort. ▌ 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄  :    gentle,  caring,  slightly taller than her  ( but not too much ),  great smile,  an amazing hugger,  a good tinkerer . . . simply noel. ▌ 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑𝐒  :      she does not mind either,  but she prefers to sleep in her own bed with her own pillows.  when she goes camping,  she usually ensures that she has at least some shelter --- catching a cold went out of fashion a long time ago if you ask her.

TAGGED BY  :  stole it from @killrate​ over on elena~​ TAGGING  :   @poensoror​​   &   @rottenxleaves​

[aegnite]

nightchased​ / joné cruz.

“ Oh that just sounds plain stupid. Rewarding? With what? Gratitude ? That’s meaningless. Especially measured against stakes like that. And why would you need a right for complaining? Shit happens, cue the complaints, then change the shit. It’s called normal. “ 

Joné had no idea what choice roja was talking about but decided it didn’t matter much. She got the all too familiar feeling of running into a wall here and it only frustrated her even more. And the other was trying so hard not to look annoyed but composed. At this point even that drove Joné crazy. What good was all of this tiptoeing? She didn’t care to understand anymore. And if the other was going to be a wall, she’s throw at her whatever she pleased anyway. 

“ And don’t gimme that shit. You don’t believe i could possibly be concerned for you. And ya know what? I’m not. I don’t have a bond with you, or these strangers that you saved, so i really couldn’t give a shit. You think i’m selfish? Absolutely. It’s what keeps me alive even now. Whatever works in this world, roja. It doesn’t matter. Why would the world work any different for you than it does for me? That makes no sense. “

It was the verbal equivalent of shattering a vase or throwing a knife. And she felt calmer now her head clearer. And in the end, that’s what mattered.

auburn had not set out on this path to be understood, and she had never really thought about an . . . explanation either.  when her brothers would inevitably find out, she had figured, she would be able to write it off as  ‘ there are just differences between us, don’t worry ’.  how well that would work was still written in the stars, but she would manage to . . . handle it. she was fairly optimistic in that regard.  others were . . . more complicated, as this proved.

‘ ‘ i didn’t call you selfish, just like i wouldn’t call any of you others selfish, ’ ’ she said slowly as she reheated her coffee with a flick of her wrist  ( and more practice than she would ever admit to ),  resting her bad leg in the little hammock below her desk to ease its nagging.  ‘ ‘ there are choices you can make that i can’t --- i do not have the luxury of anonymity.  i made a decision, valuing my integrity higher than my double life.  i pay the price for that, joné, and i do not complain about the consequences of my decisions. ’ ’

especially not when she had seen it coming, when this very downside had been part of her careful evaluation of pros and cons from the beginning.  without anonymity, she did not have a private life to hide in when her heroing decisions started to catch up with her, she had to face them head on . . . and that was not always easy.

pinching the bridge of her nose, she groaned.  ‘ ‘ look at aurora, for example, ’ ’  she said as she tossed a newspaper onto the table, watching it glide towards joné with muted interest.  ‘ ‘ everyone knows her mother went off the deep end . . . and some have made it quite clear they expect aurora to one day do the same.  still, whoever she is, she has a private life.  she could be my neighbour and i wouldn’t know because she can keep her privacy protected.  and because she has two lives, no one can send her threats or worse.  my private life isn’t, and that means if i were to make decisions the public doesn’t agree with, they’d ask for my head.  and they’d know where i live. ’ ’

[rivvah]

taylor swift * folklore starters

THE 1

i’m doing good, i’m on some new shit

and if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed

but we were something, don’t you think so?

and if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you

in my defence, i have none

but it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one

if one thing had been different, would everything be different today

CARDIGAN

when you are young they assume you know nothing

i knew you

baby kiss it better

you put me on and said i was your favourite

a friend to all is a friend to none

chase two girls, lose the one

you drew stars around my scars

but now i’m bleeding

tried to change the ending

i knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs

cause i knew everything when i was young

and i knew you’d come back to me

THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY

how did a middle class divorcée do it?

there’s only so far new money goes

their parties were tasteful, if a little loud

there goes the last great american dynasty

who knows, if she never showed up what could’ve been

she had a marvellous time ruining everything

there goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen

she stole his dog and dyed it key lime green

i had a marvellous time ruining everything

EXILE

i can see you standin’ honey

and it took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it

i think i’ve seen this film before

you’re not my homeland anymore

now i’m in exile seein’ you out

i can see you starin’ honey

like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me

those eyes add insult to injury

i’m not your problem anymore

so who am i offending now?

we always walked a very thin line

you didn’t even hear me out

i never learned to read your mind

MY TEARS RICOCHET

even on my worst day, did i deserve babe, all the hell you gave me?

i swear i loved you

i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace

and if i’m dead to you, why are you at the wake?

you know i didn’t want to have to haunt you

cause when i’d fight, you used to tell me i was brave

and i can go anywhere i want, just not home

you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

you turned into your worst fears

MIRRORBALL

and when i break, it’s in a million pieces

hush

you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes spinning in my highest heels

i know they said the end is near

i can change everything about me to fit in

i’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me

i’m still a believer but i don’t know why

SEVEN

please picture me in the trees

i was too scared to jump in

are there still beautiful things?

cross your heart, won’t tell no other

and thought i can’t recall your face, i still got love for you

love you to the moon and to saturn

and i’ve been meaning to tell you

i think your house is haunted

i used to scream ferociously

AUGUST

i never needed anything more

are you sure?

never have i ever before

cause it was never mine

and i can see us twisted in bedsheets

cause you were never mine

i remember thinking i had you

wanting was enough

for me, it was enough

so much for summer love, and saying “us”

cause you weren’t mine to lose

THIS IS ME TRYING

i’ve been having a hard time adjusting

i didn’t know if you’d care if i came back

i have a lot of regrets about that

and maybe i don’t quite know what to say

i just wanted you to know that this is me trying

they told me all of my cages were mental

so i got wasted like all my potential

i was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere

but i didn’t pour the whiskey

at least i’m trying

it’s hard to be anywhere these days

ILLICIT AFFAIRS

make sure nobody sees you leave

tell your friends you’re out for a run

take the road less travelled by

and that’s the thing about illicit affairs

like you don’t even exist

but they lie, and they lie, and they lie, a million little times

don’t call me kid

don’t call me baby

look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

for you, i would ruin myself

INVISIBLE STRING

i used to think i would meet somebody there

were there clues i didn’t see?

all along, there was some invisible string tying you to me

you ate at my favourite spot for dinner

something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire

one single thread of gold tied me to you

hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

MAD WOMAN

what did you think i’d say to that?

what do you sing on your drive home?

every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy

and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry

what a shame, she went mad

no one likes a mad woman

you made her like that

it’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together

cause you took everything from me

the master of spin has a couple side flings

good wives always know

EPIPHANY

just a flesh wound

___, i think he’s bleedin’ out

something med school did not cover

doc, i think she’s crashin’ out

and some things you just can’t speak about

to make some sense of what you’ve seen

BETTY

but i think it’s cause of me

it’s like i couldn’t breathe

you can’t believe a word she says

the worst thing that i ever did was what i did to you

would you have me?

would you want me?

would you tell me to go straight to hell?

i’m only seventeen, i don’t know anything

but i know i miss you

just thinking of you

i dreamt of you all summer long

the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you

PEACE

i never had the courage of my convictions

as long as danger is near

but i would die for you in secret

the devil’s in the details

but you got a friend in me

your integrity makes me seem small

and you know that i’d swing with you for the fences

and you know that i’d sit with you in the trenches

and you know that i’d give you my wild

and you know that i’d give you my child

is it enough?

all these people think love’s for show

would it be enough if i could never give you peace?

HOAX

this has broken me down

stood on the cliffside screaming “give me a reason”

your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in

don’t want no other shade of blue but you

i am ash from your fire

you know i left a part of me back in new york

you knew the hero died, so what’s the movie for

you knew it still hurts underneath my scares

you knew you won, so what’s the point of keeping score?

darling, this was just as hard

you have beaten my heart

no other sadness in the world would do

[aegnite]

@killrate​  sent  →   The  world  &  judgment 💕

the world  : is there one thing in life that your muse must accomplish ? what will they do when they complete that goal ?

auburn does not have a fixed goal in her life, not anymore. the things she has once set out to achieve, she has accomplished --- she has a home, she is happily married and she even has a son, so at this point, she is very much taking life on a disaster-to-disaster base, and has pretty much mastered the art of rolling with it. she would like to see a day where everyone she cares about is happy, where everyone is at peace, but she is not holding her breath for it, not really. she is over trying to force things to go her way.

judgement  :  is your muse forgiving of themselves ? how about of others who wrong them ?

there is a certain narrative angle that causes auburn to suffer quite a bit; she is harder on herself than anyone else ever could be. people who wrong auburn have far better odds to be granted her forgiveness than she does. over the course of her life, she has forgiven more than she should have, has been the  ‘ bigger person ’  in more than one sense. all at the expense of herself. it is exhausting. it is very exhausting, even. one day, she may get the plotline where she outgrows her habit of forgiving everything.

[aegnite]

plucking invisible threads off clothes had once been a habit that had driven her mother halfway to madness, but auburn still could not keep her fingers still when her thoughts were racing. in theory, this was nothing to be concerned about. this was not like the past occasions when her nerves had ran off, but --- here she was. moving quietly through alleyways --- like the ghost she should be, at her age --- and trying to avoid any steps that would be louder than a whisper. only as she no longer heard any steps behind her, her shoulders slacked. good. she was grateful that the crickets she had bought for her son’s lizard could no longer chirp. times like this, her nerves were bothersome enough without the additional risk. turning her head, she had to stifle a yelp. people who just appeared out of nowhere had never lost their ability to spook her.

‘ ‘ goodness, where did you come from so suddenly? ’ ’ she asked with a soft sigh.

@fllamau​ gets a starter!

[aegnite]

WHAT IS YOUR UNDERLYING MOTIF ?

the orange. whether it’s your sweet nature, breakaway cover, or your natural displays of intimacy, you have the undercurrent of the orange. a love language in itself, your nature makes others want to take a bite and enjoy the tang that you leave behind with your laughter. you remind others of a summer day, hot air, long nights, always hopeful you’ll never go away. in her poem “the orange” by wendy cope she said “i peeled it and shared it with robert and dave, they had quarters and i had a half” you’re generous and have much to give. she also said “this is peace and contentment, it’s new” well i say, it’s you.

[aegnite]

WHAT  COLOUR  IS  YOUR  LOVE  LANGUAGE  ?

result : canary .

key words :  friendship, happiness, light .

a canary's love is freeing, and brings the recipient true and pure happiness. everyone you love is your best friend in one way or another, whether it's your fiances, your little sister, your mother, or your favourite english teacher. you're most likely to buy small gifts for the people you love, such as their favourite snack or little trinkets, to show that you were thinking about them. yours is the love of holding hands, singing in the shower, Spring time and wide smiles.

Best matched with: fern, lavender, cerulean

tagged by : stole it from @fllamau​

tagging : please join the heist

[movedto-catullvs-blog]

you know those people who are just luminous, like they’re so beautiful and everything they do is endearing and all you can do is stare and hope that some of their light hits you someday. maybe it’s not even romantic but they’re just such people, they’re humans, and they’re so beautiful that you cannot make yourself look away

[aegnite]

AUBURN VOHON née HAYDEN 

❝ as an eldest daughter, i sometimes commit the grave sin of having emotions.

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

FULL NAME.   auburn arista vohon, supposedly née hayden / octavia marcia sestia NICKNAME / ALIAS.  red, ten, via, a bunch of others GENDER. female HEIGHT.    180 cm AGE.   more than 2200 years old ZODIAC. libra LANGUAGES.  english, french, latin, ancient / modern greek, many others

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

HAIR COLOR.    red, its hue changing according to the season EYE COLOR.    hazel SKIN TONE.     pale with a tendency to have freckles in the summer BODY TYPE.    toned, fit, athletic --- she works out a lot and it shows.  ACCENT.   purposefully vague. FACE CLAIM.  karen gillan DOMINANT HAND.  left POSTURE.   her posture is picture perfect as she has always lived a very active life, but she has always a certain amount of tension in her shoulders, the result of a life of having to be able to react at the drop of a hat. SCARS.  couple minor ones, a bigger one on her right arm. TATTOOS.   none; she got a tiger tattooed onto her back in the 1990s but it healed to the point where it was erased completely PIERCINGS.   pierced ears, she enjoys to wear differing earrings. BIRTHMARKS.   none MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S).  she’s tall. and she has red hair. that stands out a lot.

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 !

PLACE OF BIRTH.  rome, roman empire HOMETOWN. rome!! she fairly enjoyed life there until she was sixteen and, upon her first violent death, she decided to grab her younger brother and make a run for it MANNER OF BIRTH.  like her siblings, she was delivered by the household staff. it was a fairly uncomplicated birth despite her being born earlier than expected and under confusing omens. FIRST WORDS.  her first word was a mangled attempt at her caretaker’s name SIBLINGS.   many. she had and has an older brother and multiple younger siblings, and she was supposed to have an older sister (who died as an infant and whose name she inherited). only her older and the younger brother closest to her still live. PARENTS.   iulia lucia &  aetius appius sestia. the former was a senator, the latter had his back through everything. PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT.   relatively low. her childhood was mostly handled by the staff and it was not until she was thirteen (and her troublemaking streak showed) that her mother started to dedicate time to her to have more control over her daughter. she did admire her father --- after whom she takes greatly in looks --- and she also admired her mother for her wit, but it was always admiration and never love.

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 !

OCCUPATION.   forensic scientist CURRENT RESIDENCE.   auburn lives in a spacious home in western new haven, though it is located too close to the city centre to be considered in the western part.  RELATIONSHIP STATUS.  married FINANCIAL STATUS.   wealthy but she does not really show it. it mostly shows in the comforts she allows herself RELIGIOUS STATUS.   it’s complicated. mostly agnostic with some roman polytheism mixed into it as old habits die hard (or, in this case, never) VICES.  self-destruction. throughout her life, she has often touched the red hot iron for no perceivable reason. this can take the shape of excess, but it can also show its face in self-neglect. 

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 !

SEXUAL ORIENTATION.  heterosexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION. heteroromantic LOVE LANGUAGE.  physical affection. also: quality time. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES.  affection comes easy to her. she hugs, she gently nudges, she kisses, she cuddles --- but she has often a hard time saying it. while she is the outgoing sibling and she usually knows what to say, expressing her emotions is much harder than it should be for her. she thrives when she is given the time to find the right words and she is especially happy when she does not have to say things because the feeling is understood.

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 !

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG.  bravado / lorde HOBBIES TO PASS TIME.  gardening, photography, dancing (ballet), martial arts, jogging MENTAL ILLNESSES.   seasonal depression, ptsd PHYSICAL ILLNESSES.   she has allergies against almost all sorts of nuts and peanuts on top of that. LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED.  right; auburn feels more comfortable with creative work, though she can be analytical if required. PHOBIAS.  abandonment. it is what feeds her habit of forgiving far more than she should and rarely standing up for herself. SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL.  she is fairly confident in her abilities, but she does not think that any of this is enough to keep people close. thus, a 4. VULNERABILITIES.  she really, really struggles with the idea of being abandoned, of people giving up on her. and this can be easily preyed upon as it means that she will not always stand up for herself.

[aegnite]

woesday​ / sinaldra weaver

       ❝ was there last time, ❝ she mused pensively. sinaldra had her own cup– fine tea, appropriately expensive for her taste and ego. milk and sugar, and a splash of lemon. ❝ although i would very much like to hope that it will be a good punchline. ❝

auburn sighed deeply as she took another sip of her coffee. ‘ ‘ i suppose we can drink to that --- to the possibility of a good punchline, ’ ’ she mused as she lifted her cup. ‘ ‘ as tragically, we cannot escape the result, whatever it may be. ’ ’

[aegnite]

“ they all warned us about times like this. ” ------ @woesday​ 

‘ ‘ history does have a tragic tendency to repeat itself, ’ ’ auburn began as she stirred her drink with far more force than necessary. she did not add how she felt about it, the way her face looked as if she had bitten into a lemon the same way another might bite into an apple should illustrate things nicely. ‘ ‘ so here we go. again. maybe this time, there’ll be a better punchline. ’ ’

[lucifersresources]

false god 

“ we were crazy to think that this could work. ” “ remember how i said i’d die for you? ” “ i can’t talk to you when you’re like this. ” “ they all warned us about times like this. ” “ religion’s in your lips. ” “ even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship. ” “ the altar is my hips, even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship this love. ” “ i know heaven’s a thing, i got there when you touch me. ” “ hell is when i fight with you. ” “ you can’t talk to me when i’m like this. ” “ daring you to leave me, just so i can try and scare you. ”

you need to calm down 

“ damn, it’s 7AM. ” “ say it in the street, that’s a knock-out. ” “ say it in a tweet, that’s a cop-out. ” “ hey, are you okay? ” “ i’ve learned the lesson that stressing & obsessing about somebody else is no fun. ” “ snakes and stones never broke my bones. ” “ you need to calm down. ” “ you’re being too loud. ” “ can you just not step on my/his/her/their gown? ” “ you’re coming at my friends like a missile. ” “ sunshine on the street at the parade, but you would rather be in the dark ages. ” “ making that sign– must’ve taken all night. ” “ you just need to take several seats & then try to restore the peace & control your urges to scream about the people you hate. ” “ control your urges to scream about the people you hate. ” “ shade never made anybody less gay. ” “ we see you over there on the internet, comparing all the girls who are killing it. ” “ we figured you out, we all know now, we all got crowns. ”

afterglow 

“ i blew things out of proportion. ” “ put you in jail for something you didn’t do. ” “ i pinned your hands behind your back. ” “ thought i had reason to attack. ” “ fighting with true love is boxing with no gloves. ” “ why’d i have to break what i love so much? ” “ i’m the one who burned us down. ” “ sorry that i hurt you. ” “ meet me in the afterglow. ” “ tell me this love is worth the fight. ” “ i lived like an island. ” “ tell me that you’re still mine. ” “ tell me that we’ll be just fine, even when i lose my mind. ”

ME! 

“ i promise that you’ll never find another like me. ” “ i know that i’m a handful. ” “ you’re the kind of guy that ladies/people/guys want. ” “ living in winter, i am your summer. ”

it’s nice to have a friend 

“ video games, you pass me a note, sleeping in tents. ” “ it’s nice to have a friend. ” “ light pink sky up on the roof, sun sinks down, no curfew. ” “ you’ve been stressed out lately. ” “ yeah, me too. ” “ something gave you/me the nerve to touch my/your hand. ”

daylight 

“ my love was as cruel as the cities i lived in. ” “ everyone looked worse in the light. ” “ i’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye. ” “ i don’t wanna look at anything else now that i saw you. ” “ i don’t wanna think of anything else now that i thought of you. ” “ and now i see daylight. ” “ i can still see it all– all of you, all of me, intertwined. ”  “ i once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden, it’s like daylight. ” “ i wanna be defined by the things that i love, not the things i hate. ” “ i just think that you are what you love. ”

[aegnite]

‘ ‘ why didn't he come and talk to me himself? ’ ’

@cianbolc​