Jules of Nature
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if i look back, i am lost

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trying on a metaphor
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@aeralai
(I misread a line onceā)
happy 2 year anniversary to this shit. a continuation:
āā¦.then you came along.ā
Damian: Father. Please revoke your āNo profanityā rule.
Bruce: Why?
Jason: *Somewhere in the manor* WELL THAT JUST DILLS MY PICKLE.
I just love this so much omgā¦just imagine the challenge of it all for the Batboys to find the most irritating substitutes in revenge. Like it progresses to an INSANE LEVEL and Damian is just so done with then Ā
ā
Bruce: Jason you are in so much troubleā
Jason: I GUESS YOUR KNICKERS ARE IN A KNOT!
ā-
Tim: I know you stole my coffee, you egg-suckinā dawg!
Bruce: *sighs* Not you tooā¦
ā
Dick: Gosh golly, YOU KNOW SOMETIMES BRUCE REALLY GETS MY GOOSE
Damian: Grayson NO
ā
Jason: *waving gun around* Oh no demon spawn! I have a Rooty Tooty Point ān Shooty!
Damian: *crying internally* TODD, THATāS NOT EVEN A PROFANITY
ā
Jason: Iām gonna tan your hide!
Riddler: Wait what?
Jason: You donāt watch out, Iām gonna cream yoā corn!
Riddler: Wait does that mean youāre going to kick my ass??? Wat???
Jason: *roundhouse kicks him* Yes.
ā
Jason: Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!
Bruce: FUCK IT, JUST CURSE. I DONāT FUCKING CARE ANYMORE JUST STOP FUCKING TALKING LIKE THAT PLEASE GUYS. YOU ARE KILLING YOUR FATHER
Tim, an intellectual: Jay, I guess someone really dilled his pickle today
YASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#nbd just checkin in on ur bae nemesis
Jason: MAN I want a new bike.
Jason: But itās like five thousand bucks.
Steph: *texting nearby* Well, whereāre you gonna get that kind of money?
Tim: *laying on the floor* We could sell Damian?
Damian: WHAT
Jason: Wellā¦
Steph: But then where would we get the other $4,995?
Damian: HEY
Tim: Wellā¦
Bruce: *walking past* You know you could always ask me to make up the difference.
Damian: FATHER
We Have Your (insert name here)
This started out innocently enough, and then Iā¦kind of went overboard. Enjoy.
-
Kidnapper: We have your son.
Bruce: Which one?
Kidnapper: Whichā¦? Umā¦black hair, blue eyes-
Bruce: *tired sigh* Youāre going to have to be more specific.Ā
Kidnapper: P-pissed off, super snarkyā
Bruce: MoreĀ
Kidnapper: M-more?
Bruce: More specific than that.Ā
-
Kidnapper: We have your brother.
Dick: OH NO
Dick:Ā OHNONONO WHICH ONE!?
Kidnapper: It doesnāt matter, which one. You have twenty-four hours toā
Dick: ITāS DAMIAN ISNāT IT I CAN TELL BY THE SOUND OF HIS BREATHING DAMI DONāT WORRY Iāll BE THERE IN FIVE
Kidnapper: ā¦
Kidnapper: *to his partner* He says heāll be here inā¦in five?
Kidnapper 2: Or what? The kidnappingās free?
-
Kidnapper: We have your daughter.Ā
Barbara: ā¦.
Kidnapper: I said we have yourā
Barbara: Yeah, I heard you. You have Cassandra. Youāre calling me from the basement of a club in the Diamond District called theĀ āLucky Blueā and I can tell you your date of birth, social security number, and bank account PINs right now. Are you sure youād like to play this game?
Kidnapper: Whā
Barbara: Oh, and by the way, you are gravely mistaken. You donāt have her. She has you.
Kidnapper: *disconnected screaming*
Barbara: Heh. Thatās my girl.Ā
-
Kidnapper: We have your brother.Ā
Jason: Cool. Tell him I saidĀ āhiā.Ā
Kidnapper: ā¦
Jason: *hangs up*
Kidnapper: ā¦
Kidnapper: He saysā¦umā¦āhiāā¦
Dick: Oh, sweet. Did you say hi back? Please tell me you said hi back.
Jason: *kicks down the door*
Dick: Hey, bro!
Jason: *sighs*
Jason: *cocks gun* The things I do for you freeloadingā
-
Kidnapper: We have your brother.Ā
Steph: My BROTHER brother, or my boyfriend brother? Or do you mean my boyfriend brotherās boy-slash-friend brother? Or do you mean my not-quite-dadās son brother? Or my new brother who is sort of terrified of everyone? Orā
Kidnapper: *hangs up*
Kidnapper to Tim, whoās tied to a chair: Do you haveā¦anyone else we could call?
Tim: Would you like to talk to my boy-slash-friend brother, my oldest brother figure, or my not-really-related-but-still-kinda-sorta-little brother? If theyāre not available you can try my brainy sister, my bad**s sister, my punk sister or my lesbian aunt. Orā
Kidnapper: I will pay you to justā¦leave.
-
Kidnapper: We have your brother.
Damian: Sorry, I donāt accept returns.
Kidnapper: ā¦
Damian: *hangs up*
-
Kidnapper: We have your brother.
Tim: Oh, sweet. You can take his ransom out of the $50 he owes me.
Kidnapper: I donāt undā
Tim: Jason? If you can hear this, Iām cutting you off. No more begging me for cash to buy tamagotchis off the internet.
Jason: *through his gag* IF YOU LET JAY JR. STARVE WHILE IM GONEā
Tim: Oh, and just a tip: remember to use a few extra layers of duct tape. Heās a biter.
Kidnapper: Iā
Tim: *hangs up*
-
(Cass got to the kidnappers before they even picked up the phone.)
-
Kidnapper: We have your brother.Ā
Duke: Man, how can I everĀ thank you?
I lost it at Damianās. š
I feel like if Alfred got kidnapped everyone would rush in to save him.
Will be HUGE!
I've been waiting 8 seasons for Tom Welling to make an appearance!!! This better be true š!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
āIt was the laughter that drew me in.
So light-hearted, so care free.
So much like him.ā
Wrote a brand new Batflash fanfiction! I hope to update this one and my Birdflash fanfiction soon!!
So you want to play the Batfam in D&D?
Hereās some ideas for youāthis party is unbalanced as heck, entirely human, and kind of a mess. I did this for Disney Princesses on another blog and am probably going to do more for other superhero teams at some point.
Bruce Wayne / Batman
Look, I feel like this man would be multiclassing as heck because he is That Extra. Depending on optimization and whether certain things matter more in your version of the bat, you might lean more heavily or entirely on one class more than another, but my main ideas for Bruce would be:
BarbarianāPath of the Totem Warrior. Use stats for Eagle but call it the Bat, or homebrew a Bat Totem.
FighterāChampion, because Bruce hones his skills so heavily
PaladināNow, I donāt see him as a heavy magic user, but Oath of Vengeance is pretty much his schtick, and he could use Gotham personified as a deity/a bat god or a similar being as his divine patron.
RogueāInquisitive, because heās the Worldās Greatest Detective guys.
Now, his background could be Noble, Folk Hero, or Haunted One, depending on what you choose to focus on backstory wise, but whatever you do for his background keep in mind that he is Rich as Hell so his wealth is going to factor in to how much he starts off with.
Alfred Pennyworth
The man takes really good care of the batfam, and though his background was British Military or spying if I recall, I would leave his class as Clericāprobably in the Life Domain, as heās always the familyās rock and if they donāt make it to Leslie Thompkinsā clinic you can bet heās the one helping them stitch each other up
Commissioner Gordon
Look, I know heās not a vigilante, but heās important to the Batfam and is on their side in the ways that matter. As a cop, Iād have him as a Paladin (Order of the Crown) or a fighter of some kind (maybe Battle Master?)
Dick Grayson / Nightwing
Dick would beāwait for itāa bard. Ā He grew up in a circus, remember? Ā But he would be College of Valor, imo, because he inspires the teams he leads and is a fierce fighter. If you want to multiclass him, Iād add Monk (Way of the Open Hand) as is useful. Ā As for background, I would lean into him as a Folk Hero, because Nightwing is respected among many circles, and back when he was Robin he was Boy Wonder after all. Ā
Barbara Gordon / Oracle
*slams fist on desk* we need some spellcasters and you cannot tell me that Barbara Gordon would not make a good Divination wizard. Letās face it, it matches the name perfectly.
Jason Todd / Red Hood
Well, if you ever cast Detect Undead in the room, Jasonās going to ping off on that, so yeah. Ā As for his class, Jasonās a fighterādefinitely has the Firearms Specialist featāthough I canāt decide whether I would place him as a Brute (these new subclasses are interesting!) or an Eldritch Knight ultimately. Both fit into his undead black sheep of the family thing. Ā
Cassandra Cain / Orphan
Okay so I would place Cass as some kind of Rogueāher stealth is known to be amazing, so perhaps a Scout, with maybe enough levels under the Fighter category to make her a Samurai, because of her assassin background.
Tim Drake / Red Robin
TIM why are you so d i f f i c u l t okay so I would make him a Battle Master fighter because of those other tool proficiencies and his intelligence would be higher than his wisdom because the boy is smart, but not necessarily able to transfer that knowledge to good decisions.
Stephanie Brown / Batgirl
Stephanie would definitely have a higher wisdom than intelligence for the opposite reasons of Timāshe means well, wants to make correct decisions, but doesnāt always know enough to do so. Ā I would place her as a rogue Scout because Iām reminded of her Spoiler days where she always had the intel on her dad to share, and she builds on that with the fam to maybe learn some wizardry from Barbara or fighting from Cass. Ā
Duke Thomas / The Signal
One that I know little about, but Iām going to go ahead and call him an Oath of Devotion paladin with some potential aasimar traits, depending on how you handle his abilities.
Damian Wayne / Robin
Rogue Assassin to start, adding some levels of either monk or fighter based on his inspiration from Dick or Bruce. Ā Since he was Dickās Robin, Iām inclined to actually give him some Monk levels, as he would not be impressed by the whole bard thing, but his fighting? Heck yeah.
Kate Kane / Batwoman
I believe sheād be a paladin, Oath of the Crown to start with, as she was military if Iām remembering her backstory correctly, but then later would turn to Oath of Vengeance as she intermingles with the family.
Selina Kyle / Catwoman
Um. Rogue thief. Ā With a criminal background and maxed out charisma. Sheās probably the easiest to pick out for anyoneāI hardly have to explain myself for her like I do others.
Harper Row / Bluebird
Probably a ranger; if I recall she is a sniper? Ā Gloom Stalker conclave, because Gotham and because sheās probably going to need the disguise spells to hide that very recognizable hair and keep her brother safe and out of the line of fire.
Jean-Paul Valley / Azrael
Okay, I know the least about Jean-Paul of the people on this list, but Iād actually leave him as a Scourge Aasimar (the angel name was too good to pass up) Oathbreaker Paladin. Ā It seems to fit him to some degree, and while I know little about him I understand that he breaks off from the family and goes crazy, so Oathbreaker works for me here.
Helena Bertinelli / Huntress
Rangerāand I bet youāll never guess what conclave? Ā No? Hunter Conclave. Ā Yeah, real original. Sheād probably take Horde Breaker and Uncanny Dodge when she levels to them. Ā Definitely a crossbow wielder, or hand crossbow depending on what your personal game allows. Ā
Terry McGinnis / Batman
Terry is new-ish to the game, so I would have him be less extra than Bruce. Ā Probably a Champion fighter, with maybe some Artificer levels in there because Neo Gotham translates into battle magic tech for meālikely as an Artillerist.Ā His brother, Matt, as Robin, would probably just have the same classes.Ā
LOVE THIS
Tired dad doing the best he can with his six children
My special skills include viola, web design, fluent in sign languageā¦gorilla sign language.
Donāt you ever scare me like that again!Ā
She loves me. Sheās like the big sister I never had.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
New Chapter up!!! Longer than the other 2, hope to have another in the next week!
how to draw arms ? ?Ā
holy fuck
holy fuck is right⦠but⦠does it work with legs???
yes !!
but how much extend
^^^^^^^^^^
I NEARLY CHOKED
ENJFDFNFATFVFDF
finally. i can be accurate
This is too fucking great to not reblog
I give it MASCLES
BIG MACHO
š¤£š¤£
LMAOOOOOO
Okay but for anyone who legit wants to know how to calculate it correctly:
The elbow joint on average rests a couple inches higher than the navel, so if you measure how long the distance is from the middle of the shoulder to that point then you have the length of the upper and fore arms!
So if anyoneās wondering about legs too, the simplest rule of thumb is that the length from the top of the leg to the knee is equal to the distance between the top of the leg and the bottom of the pectorals:
And I wanna stress that when i sayĀ ātop of the legā iām not talking about the crotch (please donāt flag me tumblr itās an anatomical term) iām talking about the point where the femur connects to the pelvis, which is higher up on the hips:
Itās easier to see what Iām talking about in this photo of a man squatting:Ā
So yeah if you use that measurement when using this technique you should get fairly realistically proportioned legs:
But remember! messing with proportions is an important and fun part of character design! Know the rules first so you can then break them however you please!
HOW THE HELL DID I FIND THIS POST OMG
Oh hey, thereās more helpful hints since I saw this last