Soyam

made up of old love letters and scratched knotted nerves. A poet-head, 17.

[get4waycarr]

𝙗 𝙖 𝙙 𝙖 𝙩 𝙡 𝙤 𝙫 𝙚

[aeroma-soyam]

We've not only been the victims, but at one point the culprits too. Or is it just me? Tell me we are not only the victim of their sins but been the sinners too. Or is it just me? Haven't we all crossed the line that was supposed to keep us humane. We've all been inhumane, i have, i have far crossed the line and been the most inhumane..

Or, this is just what it is to be a human?

But weren't we all sinners at one point? I've been the victim of this too. But been the culprit too. The cruelest culprit, a hopeless victim.. I've been both. I have crossed my lines, they never let me walk. I have abandoned, they had me caged. They cut my wings, I tied their. They caged me, I locked their hands and said how beautiful the sky is. They showed me the blues, i drowned them.

I've been the victim, been the culprit too. I have crossed lines they didn't let me walk.

- Soyam.

[aeroma-soyam]

I hope the world never reaches out for me,

I hope the world never finds me.

Please forget me, I'll forgive you.

[metamorphesque]

"To forget, to forget ...", Vahan Teryan (translated by Tathev Simonyan)

[3thousandlanterns]

the fact that we don't know hua cheng's birth name is so... fuck. he goes from being defined by his shame (hong hong-er, in reference to his red eye) to being called to as nothing at all (wu ming, which literally means anonymous or no name) to hua cheng, "flower city." his name was the last part of his identity to refer to xie lian. flower city. crimson rain sought flower. all because it was the flower-crowned martial god who saved him all those years ago, back when he was named after the reason he jumped off the wall in the first place.

[aeroma-soyam]

Their love has so much deep lore, arghh.

[showings]

It is easy to cut up a woman’s body if you’re a woman. You know it all so well! It doesn’t call for either grief or pity. You know how to set about it, which flap of skin to lift off, which joint to go for, which bit of cartilage to destroy. You know what shame to awaken, what suffering to revive, what susceptibility to trample on, what jealousy to exacerbate, what longing to thwart, what desire to frustrate, what death to repeat—to go on repeating endlessly, not letting the pain ever ease. You’re attacking yourself, but from a distance. You protect yourself and survive while the other dies, disappears into the void to which she seems always to have belonged. You yourself are reborn, set off again. More impersonal than before, and more assured.

Julia Kristeva, tr. Jody Gladding | The Severed Head: Capital Visions

[aeroma-soyam]

have always felt this.

[sadisticssre]

Howl's Moving Castle x TGCF

[aeroma-soyam]

omgg, prettyyy!

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

The fact that hua cheng is canonically the best in bed out of all the mxtx tops is funny to me only because i imagine him painstakingly studying erotica novels and the kamasutra

Taking notes only he can read only because his handwriting is abysmal

Highlighting information like he's learning for an exam

Practicing dirty talk and seductive lines

All completely shamelessly because he must know all these things. Not that dianxia would ever do such things with him, dianxia's so holy and pure, but just in case! Just in case! This is just in case!

Hua Cheng is not fantasizing about it happening, this is just in case something wild happens and dianxia needs him to do this! This is purely practical knowledge!

[aeroma-soyam]

I live for "just in case" scenes.

[shijiujun]

If you don't know what to live for, then live on for me!

[aeroma-soyam]

🥹🥹🥹🥹

[airplanecrashingtowardstheground]

I love that hua cheng is down to do whatever xie lian wants. from something simple like cooking to something extreme like taking out an entire kingdom.

he's ready to go and support him like "sure gege, whatever you want"

[aeroma-soyam]

LOVEEEEE

[harinejumimi]

calligraphy ❤️

[pocketmilo]

✨ them ✨

[xueyangsleftpinky]

Crimson Rain Sought Flower 🩸🥀

[aeroma-soyam]

As a writer, you will never realise how wordless this world leaves me.

[aeroma-soyam]

Pov: you visit my house expecting Netflix and chill instead I start showing you my little collection of pressed flowers and journals, and the drawings I never posted with their stories behind it and let's talk about your favourite birds, and my poems and the books I think you would like, your deepest lore and ponderings that you think most people do not wonder about, or do you talk to trees too? And love your very existence despite how deeply the world has hurt you? And, tell you about every beneficial herb I know about, and watch the rain together as we bead bracelets and collect fallen flowers or leaves, and what's your favourite flavour, I'd make a muffin for you. While we eat muffins and name the stars, please talk about your stories and how positively it has impacted you?

[aeroma-soyam]

Your present world has so much to offer yet you sit and collect sadness to grieve over? Don't you wonder about what must be the limits of a human body in different aspects, try to learn about all kind of plants and their benefits, there are languages out of your reach and you think knowing 3 languages might be enough? The biggest thing the world has offered you is the internet, you could learn to draw from the draft, be an artist. Write down your imagination, like a professional writer and know yourself as deeply as possible. Aren't you curious about the monumental places and their histories? Cut it, aren't you curious about your own planet and existence? Collect knowledge not "teas" to gossip over. You think they could be a good friend? Go and talk. Don't flex about lacking social skills. Let me remind you, this is the only life you get, it is meaningless indeed. And it still might be after your death, so you exactly have nothing to fear about. You have all the opportunities and options to improve yourself, the choice is your responsibility.

[aeroma-soyam]

Where are they? They roamed around and talked a lot with you, you never looked as happy as you were with them, perhaps you were just five. But something changed, you say you don't remember but something aged you with years in mere months, you stopped being a happy kid. You grew up, too fast even though you were just seven. You matured a lot earlier than your friends although you were just ten. What happened? You say, you don't remember yet you grew quieter month by month year by year 11, 12, 13 passed and no one ever got to see the real you, anymore, the one who you were before something else forced you to be who you are now.. you kept living in your own head and stopped talking with them, stopped visiting them, stopped contacting them. And, it was fifteen.. no one ever saw you again. Your empty eyes from 13 somehow felt emptier. You buried yourself under the soil, every memory etched in your skin started haunting you.. you started hating everything you once loved. What happened? You stay quiet, how many violent experiences it holds to stay this quiet? You kept staying quiet, you do not want to remember the last decade.