Universal Disappointment

Don't mind me just existing over here.

[aestheticplacibo]

Today's existential dread and crushing weight of the state of the world is brought to you in part by the *DESPERATE NEED FOR LOVE AND AFFECTION RIGHT NOW*

Careful in semi long distance relationships folks because when you feel your soul rotting its hard to convince yourself that you shouldn't drive to see them an hour and a half away when you have to get up in 9 hours for your job.

Were in the trenches but where alive and breathing. It's square 1 yet again but its not nothing so its gonna have to do today

[aestheticplacibo]

Im so tired of having to make myself small. I take up space. My feelings take up space. I don't want to cry quietly in my bathroom. I want to scream so loud the moon would hear me.

Everything hurts and im exhausted. Idk what I'm doing anymore

[aestheticplacibo]

WHAT UP TUMBLR

🎉🎉🎉🎉

IM BACK AFTER POKING THE ROTTING CORPSE OF MY REGYLARLY SCHEDULED BRAIN ROT FOR A DIFFERENT BUT SIMILARLY FLAVORED FEED OF BRAIN ROT 👉🏻👉🏻

🎉🎉🎉🎉

[aestheticplacibo]

10 wishes.

1. I wish I remembered what I full breath felt like

2. I wish I knew what a healthy body felt like

3. I wish I my mom was still here

4. I wish I could keep my home

5. I wish I could talk to someone about this

6. I wish I could stand up for myself better

7. I wish I wouldn't worry about everything all the time

8. I wish I didn't feel like this is all my fault

9. I wish I wasn't so confused all the time

10. I wish I didn't know that everything will be ruined soon.

[aestheticplacibo]

The moon

She speaks to me.

Do you hear her too? Her voice is the wind and the shaking of the trees. On a clear night I feel as if she's looking right at me. She reaches out her beaming hand and gently touches my face. She reminds me to ground myself. Feel the grass and damp earth beneath my feet breathe in deeply. Taste the humidity in the air and feel the breeze on my skin. I don't know what I believe in but I know it her. She lights my path and I walk it alone.

I'm not truly alone though,

I hear the trees,

Can you hear them, too? They laugh, and whisper secrets of times long ago. They leave gifts for me on the ground to take home with me. They make promises to me of safety and comfort and offer me shelter from rain and harsh sun. When they speak, I only listen. Just a little, and I keep their conversations too myself. Even the ones were they talk about me.

My days are long and spent mostly inside, but I am a creature and desire being out in the world. I want to run through the mud. get sand in my hair. Swim in a pond and stand with the air. I am a creature and I'm meant to be outside, but the mask I wear is how I hide.

I hope I can find more time to be out where I belong.

[aestheticplacibo]

It's been a decade you whores. Time to celebrate and remember...

THE MISHAPOCALYPSE

[aestheticplacibo]

There is your face. The sunlight is so warm.

Everything is you. In the mornings I see you and in the evenings I hear you.

I sleep and you appear there to hold me. To comfort me.

I sob.

A bed without you is the size of my entire room. There's too much space. The space meant for you is now just more space. Space in my soul. A hole punched in my heart.

Months of ache that I wished would ease. Eventually they did. Months of pushing you out of my mind and sleeping only in increments of two. No dreams with you and no thoughts. Loud music distracts, TV distracts and slowly my mind was at peace.

Then you texted. You were most certainly drunk at 3 a.m., and I was already asleep. The dreams are back. One message and months of work are gone. You coward. You can't even face me sober. I'm tired. I just want to sleep. I want to know peace, and when I finally get it, you sink your teeth back into me and hurt me again.

Please stop. Let me know peace. Let me know ease. Let me go.

[aestheticplacibo]

You never realize how lonely you are until you have to sleep in a bed by yourself.

They aren't there anymore. Just you. Blankets, pillows, sheets, and stuffed animals to fill all the void of were they used to lay.

I don't miss him. I can't stand him actually but, I do miss the feeling of someone else holding me.

I don't want sex. Heck I don't even want to be kissed all that much... but it would be nice to be held again. To have someone take up the space that resides in my bed. Someone to give some of my time to even.

[aestheticplacibo]

I really like this blog bc it's the only place where I don't worry about who's going to see it. I write my excerpts, I can cry and sob and just be myself and I can't really do that anywhere else. There's always a mask to be worn on other social media. I'm glad I have a place were I can sad shit post if I need to.

Cause sometimes I just really want to sad shit post about how barely together I am

And not have my mom call me asking why I'm saying weird stuff e.e

Ok cool bye

[aestheticplacibo]

The sunlight

A warm hug that draped his skin making him feel only content for a full moment. The sun was a reminder. Every dark day was followed with bright light and warmth. The grass between his toes and the air in his lungs. He was fulfilled. He smiled wide and looked out across the field, his arms out stretched. He only hopped that he had more days like this. More filling.

More hope.

[aestheticplacibo]

The rain battered against the window. She almost wondered if it could even hold at on much longer. Sure it was just water but with how fast it was coming.

Kara was terrified of thunder and lightening. She could hear the distant rumbling already and seaked shelter in her room to try and hide away from the booming she expected at any moment. She wrapped herself in her warmest blanket and desperately tried to shrink into it.

The booming came and so did the light that flashed across the sky. Her sobbing could be heard throughout the halls.

No one came to rescue her though

[aestheticplacibo]

He traced my collar bone with the tip of his fingers and rested his hand around my neck. He pulled me in to a sweet kiss and rested his forehead against mine.

"I will never be able to love again."

And he meant it.

[aestheticplacibo]

This is the only place where I am safe to say this so here have my feelings on a silver platter where no one cares about them.

I never thought that two years would mean nothing. I never thought about dating again. Getting on tinder or bumble or any dating apps because I didnt think I'd ever need it. I never thought I would ever have to think about spending the rest of my life with someone else.

I never thought I'd be with anyone else. Never thought I'd love anyone else. Have to get to know someone else's family. Meet new people or go to knew places. I never though about anyone else. I never wanted to love anyone else.

Life has a funny way of making you realize that you're a different person and it comes in the form of drastic and unexpected change as well as strange familiarity. I didnt think I would ever have to date again but here I am.

Dating again.

[yo-daddys-my-bitch]

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

10 of Pentz came thruuu

[violaslayvis]

Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!

[borkdork]

I could seriously use this money right now….

[ashashi-corner]

Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.

[virgocity]

So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.

[penprp]

Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperity…

[beariere-deactivated20200123]

[friendsim-kinksim-blog]

Need this

[aestheticplacibo]

Just enough to pay my car insurance even though I know im already blessed because my parents didnt claim me on their taxes🎉

[kannibalprinceref]

So You Want To Make a Character..

I’ve got a few generators you can use.

Need some clothes?

Try Here Here or Here Definitely here Steam punk clothing Char Style preference Dress

Need an Appearance idea?

Humanoid generator? check Non-Humanoid? Got that too and this and maybe this Need Monsterpeople?  I’ve got you. Maybe you need Cats?

Need some details and shit like that?

Bam Backgrounds and stuff? yep Personality. you need that shit Need something fandom related? World-building? location? got ya City generator hell yeah make your own god damn laws Oh shit someone died Landscape. CHAR DEVELOP QUESTION GEN Profile Thingy Have some dates Quirks

You thought I was done? Nope. Motha. Fuckin. Names.

So many fuckin names MOTHERLOAD OF NAMES

Plant Names Magic Book title

Just search ur ass up some names man

Items. Yeah. You heard me.

Medicine? got it Items out the ass more items wow

Other shit.

Wow Yep Plots More writing stuff This site has everything so fucking go for it Need AUs? How the shit did these two meet? Fanfic plots. you bet your ass. (tag me in the shit u write i wanna see what you get) What does it do thing (you come up with a better name for this one. fuckin fight me.

You bet your ass I will continue to update this. If you’ve got something I should add to this hmu. Now, go forth! Make characters and live yo life. UPDATE: Added more shit everywhere.

[aestheticplacibo]

Me: *gets blood type back after donating blood*

Me: *is A+ *

Me: that's ironic because I'm A- person

[aestheticplacibo]

Tell me that you love me❤