Reflection #6- Wolf, N. Radical Heterosexuality, Boston Women’s Health Collective: Working Toward Mutuality
Growing up the Dominican culture, I have seen my fair share of heterosexuality, power statuses within relationships, and gender roles within relationships. I was raised with all these concepts embedded into my life. Within my parents’ marriage, my dad is the head of the house hold and even though both my mother and father work and contribute financially to our family, my father is the sole financial provider. Also, my mother was a stay at home mom until my younger sister started school. So, I’ve been exposed to the male being the dominant figure in relationships; as it taught in Dominican culture. This was my norm until I was old enough to be introduced to other ideas and then come up with my own way of how I believe relationships should be. Yet, I still kept some things traditional. I do believe in being a mother figure and nurturing and caring but my job doesn’t only consist of that. I will also be working and chasing the bag and in the field of work I want to do I won’t always have a set schedule. Being a nurse come with early, mid-day, and late shifts so my husband will need to step it up. Yes, he will be working as well but he would need to help around the house as well. I believe in having shared chores and shared responsibilities in a household to be able to make it work. Not that if mom works she still has to come home, cook dinner, clean the house, feed the kids, and take care of them and her husband. If dad or whoever the other person is in the relationship has an extra pair of free hands then they should pitch in. My father has told me that it is my mother, my sisters, and my job to do all it and sometimes he just orders things to be down from the couch. I understand you’ve had a long day at work but so has mom and we’ve just spent half a day at school sooooo we’re all in the same boat. Relationships are a two-way connection and both sides need to be used for them to work. It is absurd when in a relationship one person has to give up their dreams or endure mistreatment from the other. Men who feel entitled because they are sole financial provider in a relationship should not be greedy about it. I understand they may have worked hard for it but when you get married you become one with your significant other and what yours becomes theirs and vice versa. Don’t get me wrong there are women who just sit back and spend money on nonsense but those who want to use it to treat themselves or better themselves shouldn’t be held back from it. To all the females I would just like to say your significant other isn’t there to control your life, instead they are there to live it with you and better it. Don’t let them crush or hinder your dreams. Don’t let them put you in a box. Be you and be proud. Fight for you and what you believe in when appropriate and live alongside your significant other don’t live for them. Also, to the fellas, better your significant other’s lives, don’t be the strict, crabby uncle no one wants to be around.
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