Midnight Radio

Agate! They/Them. Idk I write stuff? sometimes I post it here,mostly I post it on my gravity falls sideblog. Feel free to ask me anything! I mostly just vibe.

[these-are-not-my-titties]

our own patron saint of one way trips

[agateskittles]

I can't stop rattling fucking Simon!IronLung around in my head like a shaker keychain.

Because here's the thing right.

At the end of this movie my girlfriend turned to look at me and said 'you tricked me into watching a sci-fi film'

And I didn't, not really. I mean it's a horror film. But it is a sci-fi film. And I got a bit defensive. I've never identified with sci-fi because well. I don't like Star Wars or Star Trek. And as some of the defining sci-fi franchises I felt like that meant it wasnt for me.

But then we're driving home and I'm thinking about Iron Lung. And the Murderbot Diaries. And Dr. Who. And Citizen Sleeper.

And I'm starting to think that maybe there's something about sci-fi.

About how raw and human it is to exist in a system that was never made for you. A system actively hostile towards your own existence. A system that, if it had its way, would see you defined as a Non Human and erased from existence. But you exist anyway.

So much of sci-fi is about forcing your way through those systems and carving out a home for yourself within them and creating a story that matters. Even if it flickers and fades. Creating something that will ripple out into that hostile system and Change it.

And I'm looking at Laika and Simon and thinking about how we are all on a one way trip. Hurtling through space and time under a system that wants us dead. And we are persisting anyway. Making that one way trip last.

And maybe that's why I love sci-fi so much. Because it feels attainable to carve out a home for myself against all odds. It feels human to live. To enjoy my one way trip.

The resounding quote from this movie for me is not "They will get their execution, I will get my freedom." Because Simon never wanted that. He just wanted to live. And there is nothing wrong with that at all.

[agateskittles]

I'm going to ramble for a sec about something that is absolutely unrelated to anything at all but I can't stop thinking about it so I need to get the words out of my head.

I saw the Markiplier horror sci-fi film Iron Lung on Thursday. It was a good movie, certainly not the best movie I've ever seen but genuinely it blew me away in a way that no movie has for a long time.

First of all, as a designer, the entire design from the makeup/sfx choices, to the set, to the lighting, to the camera angle choices, was genuinely exceptional. There were so many little motifs and angles that kept catching my attention during the film and so many specific shots that stuck out in my mind because of how incredibly well composed they were.

The plot was a little muddy, and certain choices felt campier than the plot called for. There were occasional moments when I wanted it to be spookier (but also i really struggle to get scared by horror in general so I'm not sure I'm the best metric for how spooky it was.) It was certainly unsettling, and points of it absolutely kept me at the edge of my seat with tension.

But regardless of all of that, regardless of how 'deserving' it is of the praise or critiques it is getting, I loved it for a completely separate reason.

I feel so so strongly that the best art produced is the art that is loved fiercely by everyone working on it. And SO much art produced today is made for money, or for fan service, or to try and maintain the relevance of a story that has long since been beaten into the ground.

I could tell that in every single moment of this movie, everyone working on it absolutely loved being there. And that made it a genuinely incredible movie to watch -- not a perfect polished 43 billion dollar film, but a good film. It was achingly human, and, I don't know.

I truly wasn't anticipating that from a two hour bottle movie filled with 80,000 (!) gallons of blood.

I went to see it with the expectation that I would have fun, and enjoy watching a youtuber that I like make an entirely mediocre movie -- on par with lots of movies being made these days, not bad, not great, but fine. I dragged my girlfriend along with the promise that it might not be good but it would be at the very least entertaining (and there would be a pretty man on screen for two hours).

In reality, we both left the theater and have been talking about that film for two solid days. It wasn't life-changing, it didn't alter how I think about the world. But it reminded why I have always loved independent art SO much. I love a AAA game, don't get me wrong. But indie games have always been my favorite, because they are made with a kind of passion and love for the incredibly human act of creation, that I think gets lost sometimes in mainstream media.

So anyway. Go see Iron Lung, its a good movie. Its good art. And right now, good art is something I need more of to stay afloat.

[inkyrainstorms]

I've been going through my AO3 subscriptions the last few days checking in on my favorite fics and I realized I still have horrible amounts of brain-rot about the Martian Stan AU - is there a chance that will update again in the future? I just really enjoy your writing and specifically can't stop thinking about this AU again lmao.

ahh!! In your honor, I remembered that I’d almost finished chapter 6 a long while back, and finished and posted it :)

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I’m sorry to say I’m not sure if I’ll ever properly get back to this fic, but I might start posting all the things I’ve written for it but never shared, because I’ve got quite a bit, I think

[agateskittles]

AHHHH omg you've completely made my day thank you so much!!! <3 <3 <3

[agateskittles]

This is absolutely unrelated to anything but however many years ago when I went to TATINOF in middle school my dad came along with me to chaperone and after the show he asked me if Dan and Phil were together and I was very indignantly like 'No!' because I knew they were uncomfortable with the rumors etc.

On a phone call with my parents yesterday and my 78 year old father who to my knowledge never interacted with Dan and Phil again after TATINOF goes 'you saw they were dating the whole time right?'.

Like congrats dad, I guess you had better gaydar than 14 year old me

[agateskittles]

Work

My girlfriend and I were talking about this painting the other day I cant remember the name of the painting

I'm not sure I ever knew the name of the artist It hung in the art gallery at our undergrad In it a woman hangs clothes on a line

She is dancing through the chore Hair flowing behind her Highlighted in the sunlight Golden beams streaming in from just outside the frame Lighting her face Filtering through the clothes that billow in an un-felt breeze We discussed it once in class Talked about the meaning conveyed in the acrylic Three people said it symbolized oppression My girlfriend recounts this and it still doesn't sit right with me Even after all these years I can feel the joy in the chore We both talk about childhoods spent hanging clothes on a line How it never felt like oppression then But instead like pure unfiltered summertime I think for a moment 'My favorite chore is dishes in the winter when my hands are cold' She turns to me and tells me that is beautiful I laugh and say I don't see how Yesterday my mom called She's folding laundry while she talks 'It's my favorite chore when it's cold outside' she says 'it always warms up my hands' In that moment I understand the beauty

[p0ll]

Will you reblog this and say in the tags what book you're currently reading, or which book you most recently read?

Yes

No

Not reading anything currently & don't remember the last book I read

Voting ended onAug 20, 2025

[arrhythmiapod]

Are you ready, residents? Welcome to Ribbon Ridge.

Arrhythmia is a ten-episode limited-series queer horror audio drama, releasing in the summer of 2025. Follow us on Instagram, Tumblr, and Bluesky @arrhythmiapod for updates. We'll see you soon🫀

[agateskittles]

For anyone who likes queer horror podcasts this is a project I've been working on for five years now that is finally getting released this summer!!! I'm so so excited for people to get to listen to it so please if you are interested give it a try!

[agateskittles]

I was just in a tiny bar restroom. I'm wearing a shirt I got when I was twelve. For the first time in almost 12 years I've noticed that it doesn't quite fit and I'm proud of that in a way that feels like losing something and gaining something at the same time.

There was a sticker on the wall that says A Trans Person Shit Here and it's funny and sad at the same time because this was a single stall bathroom even smaller than the bathroom in my first apartment.

And I can hear my friends just on the other side of the bar in the corner booth we claim after rehearsals, talking animatedly and loudly about something I can't quite make out and it reminds me of that quote I read once about how death is like falling asleep in a room where you can hear your friends talking just beyond the door.

And I feel hope in the midst of crumbling devastatation.

And I'm here.

And I'm not going anywhere.

And I think my mozz sticks will have arrived when I get back to the table. And it feels like living.

This also isn't a poem. But nothing I write really is anymore.

[pangur-and-grim]

my creative writing prof also HATES fantasy. as in if she asks for an example of symbolism in a book, and you give something from a fantasy novel, she’ll ask for an example from a “non-commercial book” instead.

I dunno man, people can have preferences, but the second you discount the artistic merit of sci fi and fantasy I stop taking your opinion seriously. and there’s such a big culture in Canada of only valuing literary fiction, to the point where one of our biggest authors, Margaret Atwood, refused for a while to classify her books as sci fi or fantasy. she said they were “speculative fiction”, which is entirely separate and very highbrow (sarcasm).

and I could go on about how Octavia Butler and Ursula Le Guin wrote books every bit as intellectual (and honestly, even more so) than their literary counterparts, but I am also an enjoyer of schlock!! I think there’s artistic merit in animorphs, and in isekais where a japanese schoolgirl reincarnates into a magical spider who has to level up like it’s a video game! it’s like with everything, you can’t draw a clean line that separates ‘art’ from ‘non-art’ or even ‘lesser art’, and pretending you can do so just makes you look ignorant and goofy. in my opinion.

[agateskittles]

This! This is a major major reason I didn't end up following through with my English/creative writing major in college. I remember in my first creative writing class turning in a short story that was about the internal political structure of a vampire monarchy at war with the Fae. And like not to say my writing is great but it was good, I was really proud of it!! I still am! And she gave me a C or a B- on it (I can't remember) and I went to her office hours with the rubric we had been given and I was like hey Professor please explain to me what I did wrong because I've been over the rubric a bunch and I genuinely can't figure out what I did.

And she looked over the rubric and flipped through my story again and was like. Y'know I'll be honest. I really hate fantasy and sci-fi. (Because we read aloud I knew that everyone else in the class had written realistic fiction.)

And then she was like and if that's what you write I will struggle to read it fairly because I just don't like it. But! You shouldn't change your writing style because of that. I will make an effort to grade you fairly and based solely on your mechanics and structure. Please keep being who you are as a writer.

And I did! And by the end of that class she told me she had actually enjoyed some of what I had written and asked me for book recs because when she was in school all that they read and wrote was realistic fiction and any fantasy or sci-fi (excluding specifics like Frankenstein or Lord of The Rings) just wasn't discussed or written.

And I left the department after that and kept writing what I enjoyed and reading what I enjoyed and I am a much much better writer than I was back then. But I think about that conversation a lot because I think most of the older generation of writers and professors have that worldview and it's really sad.

Anyway. Anything you read makes you a better writer! Anything you write even if it's fanfiction or silly short stories or bad poems. All of it is worth it if you enjoy it and all of it will help you grow! Read what you want and fuck the people who try to police that.

[agateskittles]

Okay random not writing or life related post but:

I reread the Murderbot Diaries (excellent series by Martha Wells highly highly recommend if you haven't read it. Tons of queerness and neurodivergent themes also just fun sci-fi shenanigans) and I'm looking for fanfic to read now that I've run out of actual content and I'm Struggling to find anything.

If anyone who follows me on here has any suggestions of fanfics for me that they have enjoyed I'd Love Some. (No real tag preferences although I don't love Murderbot in explicit romantic relationships cause in my mind it is ace.)I also posted this on my side blog but yeah. Please give me fic suggestions I crave more silly robot time.

[xxdrowninglessonsxx]

crochet aquarium

[agateskittles]

AHHHHHHH. THIS IS SO FREAKING COOL. I want it.

[agateskittles]

This is mostly a ramble not a poem.

But there's something rattling around in my head that I need to put down.

I grew up rural.

Rural Midwest every summer, rural West, and eventually rural Appalachia during the year. I grew up with the gods of the lake and the mountains and the green tangled woods and each laid their claim on me in their own way.

When I was old enough to move, I ran. Ran for the city and the suburban sprawl. For the past near-decade I've only seen the mountains through the windows of my car as I drive cross country to visit family. And since that family moved away from Appalachia to Tide-Water I see the ocean more often than the woods these days. Even that is fleeting.

But every summer I'm back in the Midwest for at least a little while. Some of my best friends live in Indiana and I've spent a couple weeks with them for the last five years, sleeping on their couch and waking to the glow of the Midwest sun. The texture of the light is different out here. But that's a conversation for another time.

Every summer we sit and listen to at least one good storm as it crashes and booms, having had miles and miles of flat unclaimed land to build up it's power enough to make the sky turn green.

We go to the county fairs to look at the chickens and rabbits and cows, and the pop up carnivals which always make me feel sick after two rides but remind me so much of childhood Fourth of July's that I'll keep riding till I'm dizzy.

I've never been out here in the winter.

I've confined myself to the city. The summers a rare slice of a couple weeks between the seasons at my job where I get to remember what it is to be wild again. Where I get to see the lake I grew up with and the tiny town that raised me in the dry-heat months of library summer reading programs and science camps.

But recently I had to come out to Chicago for a program. And I spent a few days in Indiana afterwards.

I realize I miss it here. My body keeps telling me it's supposed to be summer. That this house and this place are for sun and sno cones and cotton candy.

But another deeper part of me is aware that it's not supposed to be summer. I was just supposed to have been out here for winters before this. I'm not supposed to live in cities. I'm not built for concrete and glass and neon.

I'm built for open spaces and rolling hills and storms that break and crack the sky in two and shift the house on its foundations. I'm built for a lake as powerful as any ocean with rolling surf and frozen lighthouses.

I have the chance to come back here. To be here for at least the next three years. Somewhere in the Midwest, somewhere close enough to the lake to feel like I'm home again.

Ive been telling everyone for months I'm not going to take that chance. That I'd much prefer heading back down the east coast for another densely packed city. Somewhere closer to the woods from my childhood but far enough away that I know Id never visit.

But sitting here. Watching the winter sunlight filter through the windows of my friends' apartment. I've realized the texture is still different from the light where I am now. It was never just different because it was summer. It was different because it was here.

I'm still not sure I'll be coming back long term. There's too much uncertainty in the world right now for me to be sure about how safe I could be. But I'm considering it more than before. For the first time in almost a decade I feel homesick again. This time for a place Ive never even properly lived.

[agateskittles]

So I made a sideblog a couple months ago for a fanfiction I'm working on and since I've noticed a few people have been hopping to my main from the sideblog, I wanted to say hello on here!

I don't really use my main to post very often, and 90% of my blog is old writing and poetry I have kicking around from years ago but it's been fun seeing people like my old posts. Once I finish the bulk of this fanfiction I might start putting snippets of original stories on here again cause I've really reignited my love of writing over the past few months. Or I might just start another fanfiction, who knows!

Anyway, if anyone is still lurking on my blog who doesn't know about the sideblog it's @gravityskittles which currently is just chapters and drawings for my long form Gravity Falls fanfic. Probably will eventually have some other gravity falls stuff on it once I remember to actually reblog things every so often.

Love you all! Especially people who have been reading my silly little story, seeing your reblog tags and seeing people like a bunch of chapters in one go makes my heart so so happy. I love writing and storytelling so much and it's been wonderful seeing that people aside from my irl friends enjoy my stuff too.

<3 <3

[mikeepoo]

[uncivilliberties]

So much work went into this visual joke. So much extra effort that did not need to happen at all. Incredible.

[soft-caramel]

[Image description: A photo of a wall of bricks making up the side of a building. Near the top of the wall, there is a line of bricks that are rotated such that they look more like a row of books than the typical brick stacked with the long side down.

Going further along the line of bricks, however, one of them is tilted, about to fall. It's still part of the wall, though — whoever made this has specifically cut the bricks around it into certain shapes to get this design.

Continuing to follow the path of the "falling" brick, there are several more tilted bricks. These ones look like they have already fallen down or started to do so. They're spaced pretty evenly until the bottom, where a cluster of tilted bricks is starting to form a pile. /End ID]

[agateskittles]

Things set designers ask for without realizing actually how much work this is to do.

[icantfindmyfish]

Pride in space (part 1)

You can buy these posters here !

part 2

[agateskittles]

So, I made these for my girlfriend and another close friend of ours for Christmas (the character models are based on them both) and really wanted to post them somewhere cause I’m very proud of how they turned out. They each took about 12 hours to do and I also spent 3 extra hours initially making character models on Heroforge to use as references. I’m currently working on a Virgil/Logan one for myself as well. (Reposts are fine just please credit me if you do, stealing art makes me very sad.)

[clientsfromhell]

Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?” Client: “Is e-mail internet”? Me: “I beg your pardon?” Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?” Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.” Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.” Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?” Client: “Open what?” Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?” Client: “My…my…?” Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?” Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.” Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?” Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?” Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?” Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.” Me: “No, ma'am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?” Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?” Me: “We…okay, ma'am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?” Client: “My what?” Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - it’s most likely near your computer?”

Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.

Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?” Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.” Me: “An error message?” Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.” Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?” Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Move it for me.” Client: “Move it?” Me: “Yes. Move it.” Client: “My e-mail!”

[mer-squared-deactivated20200212]

This post gave me a fucking ulcer.

[honey-wine-and-time]

You meet people like this at the library. People who have been coming in every day for YEARS to use the computers and monopolize your time with conversations like this, that seem to go out of their way to avoid listening to anything you try to teach them because they’d rather you just do it for them.

So one day, this tiny, frail little woman comes to the desk with a huge folder of papers under her arm. She says “I need to use one of the computers,” and I’m like “alright, I’ll set you up with a guest account.”

And then she says “I’ll also need you to show me how to use a computer. I’m 97 years old and I’ve never even touched one before, but I need to file my health information and they told me I needed to do it using this,” and she holds out a little scrap of paper with a url scrawled on it in a shaky hand.

And I’m just mentally like ‘oh no,’ but I say of course I can help her. So I sit her down and sign her in, and she stops me to ask basically what the mouse is, and I explain it, but I’m just thinking that this is going to take a million years. But I start doing a quick and dirty run down of the parts of the computer, the programs, the desktop, what a url is and what the Internet is, what a search engine is, what websites are, and so on.

She doesn’t interrupt or ask any questions or anything, and then I’m like ‘okay let’s go to this url’ and it’s an interactive, multi-page form that she needs to put all that info in her folder into and submit, and I’m just terrified as I’m explaining it that I’m going to spend all day with this woman.

But she’s just like “alright. I think I’ve got it.” And she must have had a secretary job back in the typewriter days, because she just *whips* through the first page of the form and submits and goes on to the next, and tells me she’ll find me if she needs me.

She came over once to tell me she needed an email address and wanted to know how to set one up - I told her about her options and she picked Gmail and went back to the computer and set it up all by herself, and got her information all filed properly in about an hour and a half – and she’d NEVER used a computer before in her LIFE.

When she was done, she came over to ask me how to turn it off and I showed her and she thanked me for being so patient, and I told her quite honestly that I’d NEVER seen a novice adult pick up using a computer so fast.

And she said “oh, but it’s so simple! And so useful! My grandkids made it sound so difficult, but I’m going to pick up my own computer tomorrow!”

And I think she must have, because I never saw her in the library again.

Anyway I hope I’m that quick when I’m 97.

[surprisebitch]

^ thank you for sharing this very positive experience because the experience from OP really gave me a headache. it was nice to end on a positive note.. gives hope

[agateskittles]

Look last summer I drove my 92 year old grandfather somewhere using Google maps since I don't know his area that well.

After we got home he asked me how he could "make the little map appear on his phone" and inwardly I sighed because I knew this would take a while.

I sat down with him and went through every app he could possibly need to use. I wrote him a cheat sheet for the different icons on his phone and what tapping them would do. I adjusted his text to make it bigger so it was easier to read. I reformatted his screen to give it more contrast so it was easier to see.

It took two hours. He then took his phone and my cheat sheet and went off by himself for several more hours. He occasionally came out to ask a few clarifying questions but by that evening he didn't need the cheat sheet anymore. He knew what the apps did he had downloaded several more so he could read his news sites on the phone as well. He had downloaded photo editing software so he could edit and adjust his photos better.

I found out later that he had been given a new phone by his phone company two weeks before and the people at the phone company had refused to walk him through any of it, telling him to purchase the manual online. The manual was over 500 pages of mostly modern technical jargon that never explained how to work Google maps or anything even remotely useful for what he needed to know.

This man used one of the very first computers ever built when he started working as a government computer scientist back in his late teens and early twenties. He's now facetiming me every few weeks excitedly telling me about what new tricks he's figured out how to do on his phone. Telling me with pride how pleased he is by how far technology has come.

Older people learning to use technology with an open mind is a wonderful thing to watch. It makes the world more accessible for them. And while I didn't want to do it at the time I'm so happy I took the time to teach him because otherwise I'm pretty sure he would have read that entire 500 page manual instead just to try and figure out how to download the new york times.