Cranky King of Size Play

he/him 🔩name is SALT🔩 🔧ASK BLOG.... ALMOST. IDK.🔧 You pick me up I will fuckin delete your kneecaps 💣I'm a goblin💣

[gluten-free-pussy]

Lately I’ve been doing this thing where when men give me shit at my job, I choose to instead speak to their wives/girlfriends/female counterpart. I had a dude today try to yell at me and I ignored him and instead spoke in a very level voice to his wife instead. He literally stomped his feet like a fucking toddler and said “stop ignoring me! I’m talking!” And his wife said “George, please use a quieter voice. You’re embarrassing me.”

[afronerdism]

You are a genius and I’m using this

[gluten-free-pussy]

Lol I learned it from my mom. She does this all the time and eventually the guy either sulks off somewhere or adjusts his behaviour and THEN she’ll address him. I did this with my friends puppies when I was training them and it works the same tbh

[jamaicanblackcastoroil]

[ameliaglitter]

Whenever a married couple calls in escalated, I always address whichever one seems the most rational. 9/10 it’s the wife. Usually, the husband gets cut out of the conversation until we’re done.

Memorable quotes:

“She’s explaining it to me now and you were wrong.”

“Honey, stop talking so the nice lady can help us.”

“Why don’t you go have some coffee while Amelia and I figure this out? Hmmmm?”

“I understand it and I will explain it to you later. Let me get this taken care of.”

“I understand, sweetie, can you explain it to my husband real quick? [aside] Now, you listen to this lady and don’t interrupt!”

Calm wives in the face of their overemotional husbands are a customer service lifeline.

[franticchaos]

Reblog to save someone from unnecessary bullshit

[tuskact5]

vintage lgbtn flags!

[udonthreens]

goblin hour is every hour when your are. a goblin

[varusteleka]

This blog is pro-Goblin

[varusteleka]

Reblog if you are pro-Goblin or are a Goblin

[conlangprompts]

This language has two politeness forms: One for regular conversation, and one for when you explicitly want to be rude to someone. 

[disasterbisexual-moved]

🔘 male

🔘 female

✔️ small angry gay sleep deprived gremlin 

[vodcar]

when the capitalists die out either thru global warming or revolution will we be able to start homegrown internet

[vodcar]

been reading about dual power and how to grow my own tomatoes and i’m wondering how and if we’ll be able to start commie internet lol

like obviously the internet is this huge electric capitalist controlled hardware infrastructure thing so after all that shuts down is there a way to do it ourselves lol

[vodcar]

i want to come home from a hard day on the communal allotment, kiss my Wife, crank up my generator, and start sharing meams!

[anarchopuppy]

GOOD NEWS: the homegrown commie internet is in the works! Across the world, people fighting against censorship and for a more democratic internet are building mesh networks (meshnets) of long-range wifi (LoRa)

Since wifi is just a standard for sending data through radio waves, and radio waves can go a pretty long way if you use ‘em right, it’s not that difficult to connect two computers by wifi from across town. Then you just keep adding more computers to the network and you’ve got internet!

Small antennae, like for connecting across the neighborhood, can literally be built out of trash

And a larger, more accurate one can be built pretty cheap too

(You can also reuse an old satellite TV dish, or really anything else that’s roughly parabolic)

There are LoRa meshnets in places like New York, India, and all over Europe: Spain (pictured below), Greece, Austria, Germany, etc

As for sharing fresh mëmês, the network to go to is Scuttlebutt. Unlike most social media, Scuttlebutt posts are stored on your computer and sent directly to your friends’ computers (rather than being stored on the cloud and sent to a central server). It works just fine over traditional internet, but you can also view and interact with it offline, and it has protocols for connecting over any means that two computers can share information - that includes LoRa, as well as hardwired connections, sneakernet (basically mailing a USB stick back and forth), etc

What that means is you always know that your info is just as safe as the network it’s sent on and the computer that receives it - no one even theoretically has the ability to collect and sell it all. And, since it’s all run on your computer, there’s no servers to go down or companies to go out of business that could destroy the whole thing

You can read more about this kind of stuff here (or here if it’s cloudy in Barcelona)!

[4amsnow]

there’s also the work being done by the DCPT, left-behind Detroiters meshing together their neighborhoods to share overpriced high-speed connections among the community and producing these good good educational documents, especially this rad resource page. building meshnets to share a global uplink is very similar to building meshnets for the purpose of intracommunication and these resources are useful in both cases

[anarchopuppy]

I’ve had a couple people ask about how to join/organize something like this, which is great! The best list of active projects I know of is here, though you should also do a search online if you don’t see one in your area in case they missed it. For those without a nearby group, put a pin here and try contacting nearby pins as well - you can use the instructions on buildyourowninter.net as well as the DCPT’s resources as linked above to get set up!

Please reblog this version so others can get involved!

[agayassgoblin]

I HHHHHH

I hhhh

h

[dateamonster]

goblin goblin

smelly little boys

goblin goblin

make a lot of noise

goblin goblin

sittin in the dirt

goblin goblin

make a lot of hurt

[agayassgoblin]

Do ppl actually do no nut November?

How do they not get migraines?

[agayassgoblin]

There's a shit ton of old ass juice boxes around my room

I think after 5 months it needs a clean

[agayassgoblin]

Fuckin Fanart of someone's character yeeting me FAN FUCKING TASTIC

Art by mommy snacc @discord

[agayassgoblin]

I wish there was bruises and bite marks all over my thighs

[agayassgoblin]

When I went for goddamned modern day I didn't expect to look like I frequent fucking gay bars and vandalize the streets with a baseball bat but here we fuckin are

[agayassgoblin]

I want to b crushed between 2 orcs

[agayassgoblin]

I love fireworks

H

[agayassgoblin]

Before you about to spout shit about my appearance I'm a DND goblin not a wow goblin

I have a big head, and a small nose.