Untitled

“I can’t believe you’re comparing them to sex.“

Barbara was certainly more keen on canned fruit that the latter, but those were details that could wait for another time. However, she made a mental note to buy the biggest can of peaches she could find next time she went grocery shopping. It’d be worth it just to see Briggs happy.

“Oh, believe me. I’ve seen what Garcia can do so I respect Patterson as it is. And she cares about you, so I can’t be mad at that.“

It was obvious when the pain killers took action as Remi’s body grew heavy on the couch. And even if the blonde couldn’t exactly see her face from her position, she was sure her partner would have trouble staying awake for much longer. She needed all the rest A.B. could convince her to get.

“You have me now,“ A.B. said, pulling back just enough to stare into Remi’s eyes, hands cupping her face tenderly. “I promise. And you, Agent Briggs, should get some sleep. No, I accept no excuses.“

Still, knowing the woman would probably refuse going to bed, Barbara at least made sure she was comfortable on the couch. Laying down with her head comfortably resting in a cushion and part of the armrest.

A blanket would protect her from the cold and she couldn’t help the kiss pressed against Remi’s forehead.

“I should go.“

Still, it was truly hard to leave.

#p:ic

"A.B., I'm not an invalid, I'm fine. The door doesn't even stick as much anymore." Remi reminded kindly, her expression a picture of find exasperation.

Going to the kitchen, she made quick work of preparing two cups of tea, not really favorable to the idea of filling A.B. with caffeine when she was already so tightly strung out.

She nodded for the blonde to take one of them before leading them to the living room, where she sat down with a relieved sigh. She raised the arm not in a sling in invitation.

"C'mere."

inter-chameleon:

“You just said we did the best we could and assholes are unpredictable. That’s it. That’s the gist of it, A.B.” Remi said as patiently and kindly as she could, mindful and respectful of her friend’s fears grievances.

If the roles were reversed, she would be just as much of a mess as the blonde, that was a fact she easily accepted, but seeing the frown permanently marring the woman’s beautiful features for the past few weeks didn’t sit will with Briggs.

“We all know what we’re signing up when joining the academy. Death is a constant threat in the corner of our eyes, but it didn’t go that far this time. I’m here, A.B.,” reaching out, she took one of the blonde’s hands and pressed it against her neck, where her pulse could be felt.

“I’m here and I would do it all over again if it meant keeping you safe. I don’t care what you say, it was worth it.”

Swallowing harshly, she dropped A.B.’s hand and reached for her mug, refusing to look at her partner.

“The dot was moving upwards. He was going for your head ”

That was the thing with snipers. They were lethal for more than one reason, and both of them had been so close to dying. Way closer than A.B. would ever want, and sure, that was part of the job. Risk was behind every corner, ready to strike with the right weight in a pleasure plate or the shadows hiding the right enemy.

That didn’t ease her fear. That knowledge was mostly empty when the memory of Remi bleeding out was still fresh in her mind. She wouldn’t have been the first person Barbara lost on the field, her last partner a clear example of that, but Remi was not just a partner.

At work they were as professional as ever, Sabik would do for the others what she did for Briggs. But the fear that had consumed her over the last few days was the one of losing a friend, someone she truly cared about in a personal level like she didn’t care about anyone else, not even John.

Instead of replying and going in circles about their fears and worries, A.B. carefully straddled Remi’s lap once the woman sat her mug down. Tentative fingers went back to Remi’s pulse point, feeling her alive as she guided Remi’s hand to her own chest; resting above the place where A.B.’s heart was beating steady.

“I’m here and you’re here, that’s what matters, right?“

*****

After dinner, Barbara had intended to leave. The dishes were washed and put away, the leftovers already stored in the fridge in case Remi felt the need for a midnight snack.

The blonde had tried to leave then, but instead she found herself back in the couch, watching a movie with her head resting on Remi’s shoulder. At some point she had tried convincing Briggs to head to bed, but well, she had enough bed rest at the hospital. And as the woman had made her known, she could still rest from the couch.

“I can’t believe you really enjoy them that much. I can’t believe you even convinced Patterson to get you some in a coffee cup. Be glad I kept your secret.“

#p:ic

"A.B., I'm not an invalid, I'm fine. The door doesn't even stick as much anymore." Remi reminded kindly, her expression a picture of find exasperation.

Going to the kitchen, she made quick work of preparing two cups of tea, not really favorable to the idea of filling A.B. with caffeine when she was already so tightly strung out.

She nodded for the blonde to take one of them before leading them to the living room, where she sat down with a relieved sigh. She raised the arm not in a sling in invitation.

"C'mere."

Logically, A.B. knew there was a limit of how much Remi would allow her to do before it was too much. And yet, the blonde couldn’t quite help it as she opened every door and made sure to put Remi’s hospital duffel away while the woman rummaged into the kitchen.

There was an odd mix of relief and utter terror as they were back home. Sure, it would take some time before Remi could even go back to work behind a desk, but knowing her partner, A.B. knew that process wouldn’t be as long as she could wish for. Then again, she doubted the fear at the back of her mind would actually disappear, but she needed a bigger grip on that particular emotion.

After taking a few deep breaths, she returned back to the kitchen just to follow Briggs into the living room. A moment later, A.B. was under Remi’s arm; resting her head on the hollow between shoulder and neck as she breathed in once again. The tea was placed carefully on the coffee table, and Barbara took the chance to hug Briggs. It was awkward and still just what she needed.

She couldn’t quite do so at the hospital; far too worried to hurt her partner. And even when some of that still lingered around them, A.B. was ready to take a couple of steps back; even if they were baby steps.

“I’m sorry,“ she muttered against Remi’s neck before pulling back enough to find green eyes. “I know I’m probably being overbearing, it’s just...“

Pulling back completely; leaving Remi’s embrace for a second actually helped to clear her head a bit.

“We did the best we could on that mission, and it wasn’t enough. I know it’s our job to do our best out there, and sometimes accidents happen, assholes are unpredictable. But this time we should’ve been safe, and I almost lost you anyway.“

#p:ic #p:ac

inter-chameleon:

“It’s okay, I’m sure you’ll have to go back to work and I can catch up with Amy then. Right now I just want to take advantage of whatever little time I have with you.” Remi answered, eyes open and earnest.

Knowing of her partner’s worrying nature, she let her poke and probe around, read her file and check on her vitals. If it brought some kind of calm to the clearly still irked blonde, then Remi would let her do as she pleased. Green eyes followed her movements with a smile that was both sad and endeared, but she didn’t say anything until Barbara leaned their foreheads together and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

The fight seemed to leave the blonde and Remi lifted her hands to cup A.B.’s face in return, holding her in place.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay.” She whispered, eyes closed lest she looked at the blonde’s lips and did something stupid. “I’ve missed you too.”

Magic was the first word that came to Sabik’s mind when she thought about her partner. There had to be some sort of magic for Remi to know exactly what to do, what to say to fill the blank space Barbara couldn’t fill herself.

The worry was part of A.B.’s nature, but usually she had a better control on her emotions. It wasn’t the first time someone got injured during a mission. Hell, her last partner was dead for crying out loud! And perhaps that was the catalyst of her worry for Agent Remi Briggs. Maybe that was just the beginning, but Barbara went with the flow, because it was better to worry than not having to.

“Yeah?“

The question was soft, barely audible above the sound of the heart monitor. It was gentle like A.B. only was around her partner, and with a hint of need that was too deep into the emotional nature the blond fought every day. But it was okay to be vulnerable from time to time. It was okay to not be as strong when calloused hands held her face and offered the truth so openly.

“I wasn’t gone that long. But one of us has to work, you know?“ She teased lightly with the worry finally easing from her shoulders and eyes. “And one of us needs to finish those peaches before a nurse comes in.“

#p:tdf #p:ic

The smile Remi gave to Amy’s retreating form made Barbara wonder for a second, but whatever thoughts could come were shaken off for a later moment. Right then and there A.B. had a moment alone with her partner, and sadly, it wouldn’t last forever.

“I didn’t want to interrupt you two,“ Sabik said with a bit of regret. “If I’d known Patterson was coming, I’d come by later. It’s been a while since you two have had a chance to catch up without work getting in the way.“

Despite her words, the blonde got closer to the bed; checking on her partner even if the doctor had done so mere minutes ago. But the motions were more for her own peace of mind rather than Remi’s well-being. Technically, Sabik knew Briggs was okay, she was almost ready to go home after all. But a part of Barbara couldn’t help but worry, and it was better to go over a few practiced motions rather than be on edge for hours.

Lastly, she cupped Remi’s face with both hands and rested her forehead against her friend’s. The gesture intimate by nature even when nothing else came from it.

For a moment, A.B. was about to say something else, to do more, but in the end shook her head and limited herself to kiss Remi’s cheek.

inter-chameleon:

Two pairs of eyes turned towards the door, watching as the doctor walked in, followed closely by a sheepish A.B.

The smile in Remi’s face was very telling for Patterson, but before she could greet the blonde, a cup was literally shoved in her hands. Looking back at Remi, she could see the herculean effort to swallow without being too obvious about it. She wasn’t mean enough to give her away.

“Doctor Grey, agent Sabik, hello!” Without thinking twice, she shoved a piece of peach into her mouth. She hated canned peaches. “Sorry, I’m starving.”

Remi almost choked between trying to swallow an all to big piece of peach and wanting to laugh at Amy’s panicked actions. Discreetly as possible, she coughed to cover up, then smiled at the two.

“Hey, doc.” She said, cheery as usual, and then, infinitely softly as she looked at her partner: “Hi, you.”

The hellish day faded away as soon as A.B. entered the room. As soon as she saw Remi there; still in bed and under a ton of bandages, but looking brighter than the day before. There was a bit more color on her cheeks, and the mischief in her eyes made A.B. quirk an eyebrow.

“I see you’re feeling better,“ the doctor commented as he carried on with the check up. “Maybe you’ll be home for the weekend, how would you like that?“

Knowing that Briggs was almost recovered enough to be discharged made A.B.’s shoulders relax slightly. Since the moment Remi fell to the ground, A.B. put the blame on her own back. Sure, she didn’t pull the trigger, and she covered the usual bases to keep her team safe. There was absolutely no way they could know the enemy had that kind of ammo, but she knew that Remi was in the hospital because she had saved Barbara.

“I’ll let you to it now,” the doctor said as he patted Remi’s legs. “Be patient for another day, okay? And keep Agent Sabik away from my staff.”

But the wink he gave them all was a clue he was half-joking. And honestly, A.B. could only agree with the jab. She had been a mess at some point, but thankfully the nurses had accepted her apologies.

“I bet you’re not the only hungry one,” the blonde terror said with a knowing look towards Amy.

She had seen the exchange and put the clues together. Certainly, she couldn’t tell for sure what was on the cup, but she had a pretty strong guess.

“Maybe I could ask for some extra jello?”

Having her fair share of hospital stays, Sabik knew that the wiggly food was not a pleasant experience. And she wouldn’t do that to her partner, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t take the chance to tease her slightly.

To Die For

The week had been...well, a pain in the ass. But Barbara wasn’t one to let that kick her down. She was stronger, and she was a leader. She felt responsible for Remi being on the hospital, and guilt ate her alive whenever she had a chance to think too much. That was why she invested herself in work as much as possible. After all, Koffler and Wilkes were part of her team as well.

However, she had been on that hospital every morning before work and she hurried back once she was done. It was a surprise to no one she left in a hurry every day, and everyone knew the reason, but she had also been just as productive and efficient so no one could say a thing.

The monthly review had been particularly difficult. Her mind was with Remi,and she couldn’t help but keep thinking about the girl while she waited in Millers’ office. She thought about the many ways she could better spend her time rather than listening to the most boring man in the world why their job matterd. The fact that they had so many good results and their missions were particularly tricky or important didn’t seem to matter to him.

It wasn’t like Sabik was there to speak, her pressence was a mere formality since Millers was the one speaking for them.

Still, the blonde had to be on her formal attire; the grey dress made her look professional and the heels helped to make her look more intimidating. If anyone could really be intimidating wearing heels. Then came the official blazer and the tag. It was uncomfortable to wear, but A.B. didn’t even think about changing before leaving to visit Remi.

Her shoes clicked on the floor as she moved as quickly as possible through the hallways. Nurses and doctors already knowing not to mess with the evil F.B.I. agent. She had tried to kill one or two the first time she was there, and she was still half apologetic about that.

Finding Patterson there was a surprise, and yet a soft smile took over her face when she saw the other blonde in Remi’s room. And before either of them could see her, she took a step backwards to grant them another moment of privacy.

Except that she walked back into the incoming doctor.

“Ah, Agent Sabik, you’re already here. Good.”

So much for a plan. So after an awkward greeting to the doctor, she finally entered the room to greet Remi and Amy.

To Die For

“Of course you would be worried about me.“

A wet laugh was all Barbara could offer in return as she held Remi’s hand a little tighter. Only then she allowed relief to settle in; a deep breath eased the weight from her shoulders and the perpetual cold on her bones disappeared as she stared into Remi’s eyes.

There was another moment of silence that A.B. didn’t know how to fill. Her tired smile could only hide so many feelings and the worry cracked her calm exterior. She hadn’t been calm while her hands were painted red with Remi’s blood. She wasn’t calm on the ride to the hospital and much less as she paced non-stop until Briggs made it out of surgery alive.

“You could have died,“ she finally said, voice breaking with the quiet admission. “And I...“

But there was nothing else she could push past the knot in her throat as she stared at their fingers.

Her hands were clean since long ago, and yet she couldn’t stop seeing the red on them. She couldn’t forget the feeling of helplessness as she stared down the drain while the blood was washed away with a bit of Remi’s life. She couldn’t forget just how pale Remi looked then; without that fire in her gaze or the borderline cocky smile whenever they engaged in playful banter.

None of that was there and the phantom of that nightmare lingered even as A.B. held Remi’s hand.

Briggs looked just as pale as she did on the back of that SUV. She looked tired; far too tired, and fear had Barbara’s heart in a vice grip.

“I can’t lose you,“ were her almost silent words.

And the confession burning, the bittersweet admission on the tip of her tongue would have to wait. Until Remi wasn’t on the brink of sleep, and Barbara wasn’t controlled by panic.

Taking one more step would mean crossing a line with no way back. And maybe, just maybe, Sabik wasn’t ready yet.

Another missed chance, a brushed off oportunity could mean never being brave enough to push forward. Still, Barbara held her ground.

It wasn’t the right time.

To Die For

A.B. had gone back to Remi’s room after the quickest shower in her life. Food was almost forgotten but of course, Millers was watching her closely and she had to eat something before being allowed into Briggs’ room. Once she was inside, the door was closed behind her and they were allowed the privacy A.B. had asked for.

It was a waiting game then, and the blonde had all the time in the world to process her feelings; the worry and anxiety. The panic she felt at that moment lingered at the back of her mind during surgery. It was there; clinging to her very bones while she was away.

Only half and hour passed with A.B. in the room before the pained groan caught her attention. Blue eyes snapped up to her partner just in time to hear the cause of the discomfort. So, without wondering if she could or not, she turned the lights off and approached her partner, her best friend, with tentative steps.

“It’s okay,“ she said softly, trying to not startle Remi. “You’re okay.“

If the reassurance was for Briggs or herself, A.B. wasn’t sure.

She found one of Remi’s hands and held it tightly; waiting for those eyes she had come to adore to open again. She waited for any other sign of pain, of discomfort, and she did it holding her breath.

To Die For

“Easy there, Briggs.“

Koffler’s pressence shouldn’t be expected due to the circumstances. He had been harsh and all too ready to judge. He wasn’t fond of his methods, but it was true that he hadn’t experienced life or the job in the same way Briggs had. They came from different places, different branches within the FBI and had seen opposites of what humanity was willing to do.

It was quite ironic considering Koffler had believed every person deserved a chance and yet he refused to give Remi a second glance. He didn’t understand then, and even then, change was rather hard.

Maybe some of that was Millers’ words echoing on his head, and the rest was the comfort and lack of objectivity that their leader showed on the field whenever Briggs was involved. At least he wanted to believe that Sabik was biased on the field, but their last mission showed him everything he didn’t want to see.

Sabik was willing to risk her skin to save any of them. She was there to take them home safely even if she got hurt on the field. There was no fear in her actions as she focused on saving Briggs, and Alex knew the blonde terror would act the same way to save any of them.

Still, it would take him some time to process.

A quick call to the nearest nurse brought the medic to the room. After checking her vitals and adjusting the IV, the doctor left the room with the advice to just rest.

Of course, Koffler figured Briggs had many questions, and he would try to answer the most important one as he offered her a cup of water and placed the straw between chapped lips.

“Sabik will be back soon. Millers had to threaten her with unpaid leave just so she could go shower. She slept on the couch over there,“ he added motioning with his head to the couch tucked in a corner. “You should get some rest now.“

To Die For

The world came to a sudden halt after A.B. hit the ground. She knew exactly what would happen after Remi shoved her out of the way. There was no need to see the red dot on her back, or to hear the bullet as it soared through the air. That knowledge didn’t stop the horror suddenly filling blue eyes as the rest of the scene unfolded almost in slow motion.

Pain didn’t register nor did Remi’s words. Her partner was injured despite the Kevlar, despite all their precautions. A.B.’s worst nightmare was coming true and there was little she could do to stop it. It wasn’t a dream, she couldn’t wake up, and moving was something done without real thought behind the motions.

The blonde was next to Briggs in a matter of seconds. Her mind tried to find the balance between panic and the calm she always portrayed as a natural leader. Level-headed was one of her main characteristics, but she couldn’t stay like that when Remi was bleeding profusely. Still, she didn’t let panic win because then they would win. And losing meant letting Briggs bleed out in the middle of nowhere. That was not an option.

“Stay with me, Briggs,“ she said but her own words sounded foreign. “Don’t you fucking dare leaving me now.“

Whatever her words meant was pointless right then. There was no time to dwell on feelings or take the first step she had refused to for the longest time.

To her surprise, Koffler was the one helping her move Remi to their SUV; Oliver standing by to prevent any attacks while the back up arrived. A spare towel was their only aid to keep Remi from bleeding out, but the bullet had found an exit; leaving two wounds behind and who knows the amount of internal damage.

Then again, she refused to think about anything as she applied pressure to the front wound. The towel and her hands turning crimson with alarming speed, but she didn’t falter until the ambulance arrived and they were on their way to the closest hospital. She didn’t waver then, holding Remi’s hand until she could no more; Briggs disappearing through a door in her way to the OR.

The fear intensified there, turned to anger when there was nothing the blonde could do but make a dent on the hospital floor with endless pacing. So, she went back to work; clothes still tainted with blood. But she entered the interrogation room to put the fear of God, or the devil, on the man they had captured.

*****

Losing a partner was something Barbara had dealt with before and the scar it had left was all too fresh still. But she couldn’t lose Remi.

She had gone back before the surgery was even done. And no one would move her from waiting, from entering Remi’s room when she was allowed to. Nor Wilkes nor Millers could get her to give up her grip on Briggs’ hand until the woman woke up.

Barbara stood there almost like a statue, taking comfort from the beeping machines all around them and the slight warmth of Remi’s hand between her own. Briggs was strong and stubborn enough to say “fuck you” to death, but Sabik had been worried. She could lose everything else in the world, but not Briggs.

Not Briggs.

To Die For

They faced that mission as they had done every other; with clear minds and sharp focus. They checked every single thing on the list, and yet, they found themselves in a war zone.

Barbara swore under her breath as they traded shots with the criminals. Her focus divided to all the members of her team; scouting the area, making notes of where everyone was and tracing safe trajectories to get them all out of there.

"Stay down!" She shouted to Wilkes when the man attemped to move while someone had him on their shooting line.

Her warning was heard, Oliver didn't move and she took out the assailant. And then someone hit her on the side of the face. She had almost no time to react before she hit the ground; gun slipping from her grip. And then everyone moved...

Wilkes tried to get to her as she was fighting the man that hit her; rolling on the ground to avoid dying that day. Koffler covered Oliver as he moved, and Briggs had the cold blood to help Barbara once she managed to hold the man at a decent distance.

Except that no one was covering Remi, and before A.B. had a chance to collect herself, she heard the gunshot.

"Briggs!"

#p:ic #p: tdf

To Die For

Trying to hide something from Briggs was near impossible, Barbara knew as much. She couldn’t keep a secret when Remi could look into her eyes and just know when something was going on. But right then, there was nothing out of place to support Barbara’s uneasiness.

“I just talked to Millers,” she said instead. “An ordinary mission, for us at least. But can’t shake this bad feeling…”

Before A.B. could even attempt to explain, steps sounded down the hallway, closing on them before Wilkes appeared again. His expression apologetic to interrupt, but well, Barbara had required his presence for the debrief and she couldn’t blame him.

“Koffler just got here,” he said motioning towards their desk zone.

“Alright, give us a minute.”

He nodded and went back the way he came and Barbara’s attention went back to Remi. Her hands brushing some invisible lint from the taller woman’s clothes as A.B. struggled to find her words. She had no explanation for the sense of dread, but her gut had saved her life multiple times and she had learned not to ignore it.

“Whatever awaits for us out there, just be careful, okay?”

Then, she placed a kiss on Remi’s cheek; lingering a bit more than necessary. A moment later Agent Sabik was there; focused and sharp as she guided back to her office, calling Koffler over on the way. They had an hour to prepare, and for some reason, that didn’t feel like enough time.

Still, A.B. portrayed calm and confidence. Her doubts perfectly hidden and bad feeling only disclosed to Briggs.

“Let’s get it.”

To Die For

The last thing Sabik wanted was to deal with Millers first thing in the morning, but as soon as she crossed the floor’s door, she was called into the boss’ office. Things were cordial between them, but far from being what they once were. The ease Sabik once felt around the woman was now gone, and she saw her as little more than her boss after years of seeing Millers as a role model.

Alas, they were still working together and A.B. was a grown woman that knew how to deal with people she didn’t like. That was part of the job description, otherwise she would have quit years ago. So, she stood in Millers office listening to their next mission. There was a bomb threat, the FBI never took those lightly, but this was a particularly sketchy situation. That’s why her unit was involved instead of just sending the anti-bomb squad.

Things could go sour really bad and really quick, and it was her mission to make sure no one got killed as they identified the threat. This wasn’t much different from that one mission she handled side by side with Briggs, at least in essence, but there was something that didn’t sit right with the blonde.

The next step was to wait for her team to brief them in. But when she made it to her office, it was obvious a certain someone had already arrived. The flowers were hard to miss, and despite the circumstances of that morning, A.B. had to smile. She sat behind her desk, sipping her coffee with a pleased hum as she read the little note.

Of course Remi would do something like that, and it made Sabik feel better about the day, but not the coffee nor the pastry lifted the weight from her stomach. But maybe the woman behind such a thing would be able to put her at ease before going into the field.

With a hint of playfulness, she went on a hunt through the hallways; wondering where Remi would hide. Turning a corner, A.B. was faced with Wilkes’ back, and she assumed it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

“Oli, have you seen…?“

The question died before she could finish as the man moved to reveal exactly whom Barb was looking for. Her smile was wide as it could be, and she had no shame as she practically jumped into Remi’s arms. The man gave Briggs a look that almost shouted; “What in the world did you do to make Sabik act like that?” But he was smiling all the way.

“Just who I needed to find,“ Barb muttered as she kissed Remi’s cheek before pulling back. “We got a mission. Need you on my office in ten. Oliver, you too.“

“Aye aye, ma’am.“

With that, he granted a few minutes of precious privacy. And even when the blonde tried, she couldn’t keep all the worry out of her face.

Coffee on Wednesdays.

At some point Barbara had craved more, which wasn’t a surprise anymore whenever Remi was involved. Her personality; soft and kind towards Barbara while collected and precise on the field, won the blonde over maybe from the start. Yes, as much as Sabik hated her guts at the very beginning, there was something about that “mysterious woman” that had lured her in.

This time, Barbara allowed herself a moment of selfishness.

She pulled back from her resting position and guided Briggs through the motions of redressing. Not like it was a long or complex process, but it was needed so Barbara could enjoy the safety of her embrace. She wanted to say something once they were under the covers; pressed against each other, but she couldn’t find the words to break the silent spell around them.

A kiss was placed on the corner of Remi’s lips instead. It was both an act of gratefulness and an apology.

Sabik wanted it all and by then she had no doubt. There was no way to deny it when her heart had escaped from her chest to land on Remi’s hands. Another proof of its refusal to stay with John no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise.

A.B. had tried all her life to be normal; to follow the rules of society in hopes that would lead her to happiness. It didn’t. She tried to fit in with her parents even when they never showed her love, and no matter how hard she tried, she was left alone at the end of the day. She tried to fit in the F.B.I. but her motivations were in the wrong place. She tried to love John, she tried so hard until it happened. At least, until she was convinced that was how love should feel, but she wasn’t really in love with him.

She fell for Remi Briggs, and she did so faster than she thought possible. She fell in love and entered a maddening cycle of contradictory feelings; from elation to shame to guilt to joy, and every emotion in between.

She wished taking the next step could be as easy as loving Remi, but it wasn’t.

The darkness around them should have been threatening. It should have frightened Barbara like it did every night she was alone in her apartment, but she wasn’t at her place, and most certainly, she wasn’t alone.

Resting her head on Remi’s chest, A.B. drifted off to sleep with the melody of a strong heart filling her with peace. At least for the night. At least until the outside world found them again the next morning; still tangled with each other.

#p:cow #p:ic

Coffee on Wednesdays.

inter-chameleon‌:

At some point, Remi completely lost track of time, and even reality itself.

Between the strong pressure forcing her muscles to release the tension accumulated from work, and the featherlight dance of skilled fingers over her skin, she fell into a place where only they existed.

For a moment, it wasn’t a massage, it was the push and pull always present between them. The subtle dance that started with a simple, seemingly innocent look. Except there were no Innocents involved, Remi knew as much, she could feel it in the subtle nuances of Barbara’s words and touch. There was something deeper there, and this was no different.

Her body reacted as it always did towards her partner; pliant and eager, both challenging and submissive. Whatever A.B. wanted, Remi was ready to give, her skin and bones and flesh; her mind and very soul.

Perhaps it was that pliancy, that need for more and harder and please that turned the quiet sigh of relief into a whispered moan of pleasure as her back arched. Her hands, previously laying useless at her sides, reached for something to hold on to, to anchor herself - not to reality, but to the reality of that moment in time. There was nothing there except for the stretchy fabric covering her partner’s legs giving into the pull of her fists.

She was floating and free falling all at once, the sweet taste of freedom and the tang of blood as she but her lip in order not to beg for more.

A.B. regretted it all. Her plan had backfired and her mind became a landmine. Every thought was reduced to a torturous mix of fantasies and an ache she couldn’t quite satisfy while straddling Remi’s legs. Even thinking about it went into the “fantasies” category and even that was too far of a stretch.

Suddenly, Remi’s skin burned her hands with her need to test the limits, to jump into her pool of desires and not come out for air until she had hit rock bottom. Her breath almost echoed Briggs’ soft moan, although it hid a prayer for mercy not to cave right then. Just how easy it would be to turn the innocent kiss into a river of burning ones; like a river of lava sliding down Remi’s spine towards the edge of fabric Barbara refused to take away. It would be easy to burn down together, to fall into frenzied desire and scorching need. And all of it made restrain harder.

And yet, she couldn’t give up the chance to keep touching Briggs; soft skin and smooth lines and the thousand scars hidden underneath. The pressure of her fingers was less and less until the massage turned into something different; intimate in a way Barbara couldn’t voice. She treated Remi both like a goddess and clay; fingers barely tracing the strong curve of her shoulders and the lines of her biceps. Giving form to her back and her waist, her hips and everything else.

It seemed impossible for A.B. to be totally satisfied without shedding her doubts or leaving her fears aside. But it was as much as she could give of herself, and yet she wanted to ask Briggs for everything she had to offer.

It was selfish, the blonde knew it. But she craved to leave her own mark on Remi’s body; a little landmark in the map of her skin, in a way that Weller couldn’t. In a way no one would ever be able to recreate.

Her hands stopped after an eternity of exploration, just for her to lay down on top of her partner. Head resting just below Remi’s shoulder blade, legs in between her partner’s, and warmth breath creating storms above ink.

“Can we stay like this for a moment?“ She asked softly; without truly breaking the peaceful silence around them.

“Can we stay like this forever?“

#p:ic #p:cow

Coffee on Wednesdays.