BELLATRIX BLACK || SEVENTH YEAR || SLYTHERIN || OPEN || FC: TBD
”She had felt coldness in herself, and though she feared it, she loved it too, for it made her strong.”
In short, Bellatrix should have been born a boy. That’s what everyone expected, that’s what everyone wished her to be. A boy is a great start to a new family. It is truly tragic, to be hated because of not living up to expectations that you can’t fulfill and despite popular belief, Bellatrix fell weak to her parents’ disappointment. Everyone at Hogwarts know her as the strong, cold person she has trained herself to become, but no one knows about the time she cut all her hair off, or when she burned all her dresses. She could neither be a boy, neither a girl in the traditional sense her parents tried to inflict on her. To be so young and exploited as a needed item at birth broke Bella, she came to know pain and rejections not many people do at such an age. While she tried to suppress her feelings, they always seemed to come back out again. When Andromeda was born, she wasn’t greeted with as much excitement as most who were having a new baby would, but her parents never made an issue about who she is. Further more when Narcissa came to life, everyone in the family fell head over heels for her, catering to her every need, standing by her bedside when she was ill and taking her to dress fittings whenever she liked. Bellatrix wanted to hate them, she wanted to, but she couldn’t. She wanted to despise Andromeda’s cleverness and Narcissa’s beauty but she realised that they were the only ones in her family for whom she actually felt love and compassion.
During her Hogwarts years, Bella began a journey of both self-destruction and self-exploration. While she wanted to prove that she can be far better than anyone and her actions could be twice as better as a boy’s would, that strive tended to destroy her. Torn apart on the inside, but with a desire to rise high in life, Bella often let out her insecurities and anger by taking it out on other people. The only ones completely safe from her wrath were her sisters. The victims she most often had in mind were boys, defeating any of them could prove to her father that she is better than them, she can be. As her means to an end got darker and darker, Bella promised herself that despite there being a possibility to lose everything on the road to success, she would never lose her opinions, her cleverness, her “big mouth”. She knew that bold words would get her far, perhaps even farther than aggression would. Bellatrix had everything planned out, she knew who she must get along with and who she mustn’t. She promised herself she would never question the principles of climbing higher and higher on the social ladder. Even if that meant pushing people down beneath her.
When Bellatrix heard a girl was found dead, she couldn’t feel less indifferent, but when she found out Narcissa was one of the students who kept finding themselves at the forest, her usually balanced mind was completely lost. The thought of her sister taking the place of that corpse was unbearable to her and while she wanted to protect her, she couldn’t help but feel Narcissa drifting away, mixing in with the wrong crowd of Slytherins, refusing anyone who was concerned her and denying that these occurrences had anything to do with her whatsoever. If there’s one thing Bellatrix wouldn’t push down the stairs, it’s family and feeling that family pushing her away instead was not only painful but frustrating. One thing was certain, until all of this was over, Bellatrix had decided to take a small step back from the competition in the Pureblood society. She had to protect the ones she loves, especially when all of them are so few they can only be counted on one hand.
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