Thirteen

[ironman-tonystark]

I think I'll ask Sharon if Steve can get hickeys. I asked Steve if he'd let me see, but apparently, he hates science.

[agentsharoncarter]

Steve is human like the rest of us. He just heals faster. It's not like you haven't seen him bruise before.

[ironman-tonystark]

Yeah, when I've blasted him across the room. Not when he cracked his shin on the coffee table. How hard are you biting him?

[agentsharoncarter]

You're asking the wrong question.

Biting isn't the only way and some parts of the body bruise easier.

Don't work harder when you can work smarter.

[ironman-tonystark]

I think I'll ask Sharon if Steve can get hickeys. I asked Steve if he'd let me see, but apparently, he hates science.

[agentsharoncarter]

Steve is human like the rest of us. He just heals faster. It's not like you haven't seen him bruise before.

[ironman-tonystark]

A whole section of my wardrobe is set aside for when crop tops and booty shorts come back into style. I'm starting to think I might just have to make that happen myself.

[clint-anon]

Please don't

[cap-steverogers]

Please don't.

[samandredwing]

Please don't.

[agentsharoncarter]

They've been back in style for at least a year now.

[ironman-tonystark]

I am considering petitioning Congress to replace the word 'flag' with 'ass' in the Pledge of Allegiance.

[agentsharoncarter]

Or you could strategically place a flag on the next version of his suit 😏

[agentsharoncarter]

Look, I want to celebrate Steve's birthday just as much as anyone, but the amount of milk and cookies left at his doorstep is a bit much this year.

[agentsharoncarter]

Again. It's 90 degrees out. And it's attracting animals. Not the cute and fuzzy kind. The pizza rat kind.

[agentsharoncarter]

Walked by 16 Buckys, 2 Winter Soldiers, 10 Cap Steves, 1 Nomad Steve, 8 Cap Sams, 7 Falcon Sams, 6 Widows, 5 Clint Hawkeyes, 5 Kate Hawkeyes, 4 Iron-men, 3 Deadpools, 2 Thors, and 1 Hulk on my 3 block commute to work.

Must be Comic Con season.

[ironman-tonystark]

I keep seeing posts on here saying that Bucky needs a hug. I tried offering him one and he told me to go fuck myself.

[agentsharoncarter]

Oh, I read that Bucky needs a hog...to go with his goats.

[ironman-tonystark]

Someone introduced Thor to pumpkin spice. I don’t want to say he’s heavy handed with it, but let’s just say that I’m starting to forget what things in the compound smell like when they aren’t coated in cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger.

[agentsharoncarter]

Only 57 days until peppermint/chestnut praline season!

[thor-the-mighty]

Tell me more of this praline.

[agentsharoncarter]

It's basically a combination of sugar or caramel and nuts, usually almonds, hazelnuts, or pecans. It's usually put into other desserts.

Oh! Remember the dessert bar at Sam's birthday party? Pralines was the ice cream topping between the chocolate chips and the maraschino cherries.

[ironman-tonystark]

Someone introduced Thor to pumpkin spice. I don’t want to say he’s heavy handed with it, but let’s just say that I’m starting to forget what things in the compound smell like when they aren’t coated in cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger.

[agentsharoncarter]

Only 57 days until peppermint/chestnut praline season!

[ironman-tonystark]

Cap is remarkably bad at following orders for an ex-army guy. I wonder if there's any circumstances when he does like doing as he's told.

[agentsharoncarter]

Oh, I can think of a dozen or two positions circumstances.

[agentsharoncarter]

One of the perks of hanging around the tower is coming across official Avengers merch. I just saw this box of Avengers themed soap, and the Cap one smells like berries, and... I just can't stop laughing. I love him dearly, but he does not smell like berries. Or does the company WANT him to smell like berries? Hmm this might be a covert op.

[ironman-tonystark]

Sometimes the way both the Hawkeyes sit in chairs is like they're aliens who had sitting in chairs described to them and couldn't quite work it out.

[agentsharoncarter]

It's because their natural setting is perching in a vent.

[justcallme-bucky]

Have you tried adult coloring books they seem to help when I’m stressed or sad (im pretty sure they have captain america ones too!)

...why would I want to color pictures of Steve or Sam?

[samandredwing]

I know what someone is getting for Christmas.

[justcallme-bucky]

Oh no....you're here too? I'm deleting my account.

[agentsharoncarter]

@samandredwing is here! Time to get the party started!

[agentsharoncarter]

Pumpkin spice is back at the grocery stores. Time to start planning for Halloween.

[clint-anon]

Halloween been started. It started July 1st.

[agentsharoncarter]

Is that why you've been strutting around the tower with all those bandages? You're supposed to wrap your head completely if you're going for the mummy look.

[agentsharoncarter]

Pumpkin spice is back at the grocery stores. Time to start planning for Halloween.

[justcallme-bucky]

*sends you homemade cookies trying to even out that some anons were exceptionally rude*

That's really sweet of you, and I appreciate it, but we've been advised by legal that we're unable to consume homemade and/or unpackaged food from fans due to...The Incident.

[ironman-tonystark]

Oh yeah. The Incident. That was fucked up.

[agentsharoncarter]

SHIELD couldn't clean up that mess. We had to bring in some extra classified tech.

[cap-steverogers]

Have you heard of someone named Chris Evans? I heard he’s pretty popular

Yeah, he played me in the movie about me. We've met, nice guy. Not too thrilled when some of his more...challenging fans think I'm him, though.

[agentsharoncarter]

The mental gymnastics some of the more challenging fans do make my workouts look like a walk in the park.