The Broker Sends Me To Get Results

Tazzik themed blog.

[agenttazzik]

Tazzik Aesthetic

(Heavily edited a screenshot of Commander Rentola from Mass Effect 1 to make a mockup of an in game Tazzik model. Rentola has the perfect grumpy looking face to accommodate Tazzik’s equally grumpy face.)

[redleeder]

[agenttazzik]

((Not a dead blog just busy with life))

[n0x-lupus]

So... this happened... because I'm a horrid goblin child.

This started because @beyonddarkspacenew and I were on discord and he quickly re-sketched an old picture I half finished of Tazzik, but it looked 9000% better than my original one. I liked it so much I finished it.

Basically this cocky bastard is in his quarters chillin' like a villain in his under suit, schemeing and just being the Devil that he is.

It looks a little rough around the edges because it literally is, it wasn't supposed to be a serious picture.

[agenttazzik]

[ I can't believe I hadn't reblogged this to here yet]

Headcanon time! Because bioware chucked his character out and I'm forever bitter!

So I imagine he has a room on the broker's base right? I mean he's his right hand man, he probably has a day off or two sometimes, and I think of it as being quite simple, dark with a red coloured lighting because he's dramatic, a desk and computer and a bed of course. He's a simple man of simple needs so nothing overly fancy. Sometimes he just lays in his undersuit, listening to some batarian heavy metal and thinks about his next target or when his brothers will quit bugging him to visit.

I could probably say more but it would go on for ages.

[n0x-lupus]

When someone says Tazzik is big:

“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little Varren shit? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Brokers Training Program, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret missions in the Terminus Systems alone, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in all kinds of warfare and I’m the top Hitman in the entire Shadow Broker forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this space station, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the extranet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Broker Agents across the whole of Omega and your Omni-tool is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can break you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in hand to hand combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Shadow Broker’s weapons and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Omega, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.”

He just wanted a peaceful drink in Afterlife okay?

[redleeder]

[forsaken-angel]

Do you see me in your worst nightmares?

[nihilistic-trash]

[snoopdogkaiwutang]

[deadsiteletsfite]

I GOOGLED BUFF SALARIAN AND

[agenttazzik]

Desktop theme is fixed!

Got my hands on my old tablet and have fixed and updated the desktop theme for this blog. I'll add pages and such soon, but for now it looks more to Tazzik's style.

[tobedismantled-blog]

Given I’m experiencing the mother of all existential depressing episodes right now slap dab on my bloody birthday.

I needed a way to distract my scrambled brain, and what better way to do that than to make a gift for my good friend and fellow Tazzik fan @zeta-reticuli-my-guy

So here ya go!, Tazzik from Mass effect redemption, forgive me if it’s not that good lol, I tried my best hehe.

[agenttazzik]

It’s canon that Tazzik has claws and my crops are flourishing because of this fact.

Like, I imagine he takes his gloves off and taps his claws on a hard surface near Feron to A. Annoy him and B. To freak him the FUCK out.

Is Taz pissed at Feron? Toying with him? Have a hearty tune stuck in his head that hes subconsciously tapping his claws to? Hell if Feron knows but it’s best to peace the fuck out of the room.

Imagine someone minding their own business and then they hear the scraping of nails/claws on metal and turn around to see Tazzik with a amused smirk on his face. Like??? If I could write half decently, I’d totally write a fic.

I also headcanon that Salarians are born with claws of some kind and have the choice to have them removed later on in life if they’re gonna use haptic feedback implants or just find it easier to do their jobs without them.

((Re-uploading because it wasn’t appearing in the tags properly, plus I added a couple things))

[dr-ladybird]

Wait - is it actually canon that salarians don’t have claws or fingernails? I possibly need to look closer.

[agenttazzik]

@dr-ladybird The first 3 games, salarians always wore gloves, so we never got to see their bare hands. In Andromeda they’re shown to have no claws, however I really like the idea of them having claws of some type as some kind of small defence mechanism perhaps? Like when they hatch, in case their young are in danger they have little claws to scratch at predators or on the other hand, claws to grip on to rocks/trees to climb in their jungle environment.

[dr-ladybird]

Hmm. Definitely in favour of them being excellent climbers, and they’re much too big and heavy to stick to things the way treefrogs do.

Have we ever had a decent look at their bare feet?

Seems a bit odd for them to have no claws or nails at all - sure, real frogs and newts don’t, but salarians seem to have a much less permeable and more reptilian skin texture with a good thick layer of keratin everywhere else. I wonder if they mostly lost their claws as an adaptation for better manual dexterity, but you get the occasional throwback who still has claws, like how horses sometimes have toes and humans sometimes have gill slits?

[agenttazzik]

We havn’t had any look at their bare feet, only canon info on them is that they’re webbed, which makes sense.

I’m in favour of the few occasional salarians having claws/nails through a throwback or perhaps even individual clans breeding them into new generations? Like it’s a possibly desirable trait in some areas of Sur'Kesh or the colony worlds etc. Or even that clans with ancestors who evolved and grew in the mountains or dense forests grew claws and those who were closer to large bodies of water didn’t.

There’s a LOT of possibilities!

[dr-ladybird]

Which is interesting, because with shoes on, they look like they have compact little digitigrade paws. The webbed bits must be really good at folding up.

*pictures someone taking off his shoes and unfurling his feet like little umbrellas*

[agenttazzik]

This is what their feet look like in the official Bioware character models for Andromeda. They seem to have toes at least, with slight webbing inbetween (though you can't see it much, possibly folded up because of the armour?)

So in normal civilian clothing, their toes probably come together and actually resemble paws in a sense, so you might be right!

[agenttazzik]

It’s canon that Tazzik has claws and my crops are flourishing because of this fact.

Like, I imagine he takes his gloves off and taps his claws on a hard surface near Feron to A. Annoy him and B. To freak him the FUCK out.

Is Taz pissed at Feron? Toying with him? Have a hearty tune stuck in his head that hes subconsciously tapping his claws to? Hell if Feron knows but it’s best to peace the fuck out of the room.

Imagine someone minding their own business and then they hear the scraping of nails/claws on metal and turn around to see Tazzik with a amused smirk on his face. Like??? If I could write half decently, I’d totally write a fic.

I also headcanon that Salarians are born with claws of some kind and have the choice to have them removed later on in life if they’re gonna use haptic feedback implants or just find it easier to do their jobs without them.

((Re-uploading because it wasn’t appearing in the tags properly, plus I added a couple things))

[dr-ladybird]

Wait - is it actually canon that salarians don’t have claws or fingernails? I possibly need to look closer.

[agenttazzik]

@dr-ladybird The first 3 games, salarians always wore gloves, so we never got to see their bare hands. In Andromeda they’re shown to have no claws, however I really like the idea of them having claws of some type as some kind of small defence mechanism perhaps? Like when they hatch, in case their young are in danger they have little claws to scratch at predators or on the other hand, claws to grip on to rocks/trees to climb in their jungle environment.

[dr-ladybird]

Hmm. Definitely in favour of them being excellent climbers, and they’re much too big and heavy to stick to things the way treefrogs do.

Have we ever had a decent look at their bare feet?

Seems a bit odd for them to have no claws or nails at all - sure, real frogs and newts don’t, but salarians seem to have a much less permeable and more reptilian skin texture with a good thick layer of keratin everywhere else. I wonder if they mostly lost their claws as an adaptation for better manual dexterity, but you get the occasional throwback who still has claws, like how horses sometimes have toes and humans sometimes have gill slits?

[agenttazzik]

We havn't had any look at their bare feet, only canon info on them is that they're webbed, which makes sense.

I'm in favour of the few occasional salarians having claws/nails through a throwback or perhaps even individual clans breeding them into new generations? Like it's a possibly desirable trait in some areas of Sur'Kesh or the colony worlds etc. Or even that clans with ancestors who evolved and grew in the mountains or dense forests grew claws and those who were closer to large bodies of water didn't.

There's a LOT of possibilities!

[agenttazzik]

It’s canon that Tazzik has claws and my crops are flourishing because of this fact.

Like, I imagine he takes his gloves off and taps his claws on a hard surface near Feron to A. Annoy him and B. To freak him the FUCK out.

Is Taz pissed at Feron? Toying with him? Have a hearty tune stuck in his head that hes subconsciously tapping his claws to? Hell if Feron knows but it’s best to peace the fuck out of the room.

Imagine someone minding their own business and then they hear the scraping of nails/claws on metal and turn around to see Tazzik with a amused smirk on his face. Like??? If I could write half decently, I’d totally write a fic.

I also headcanon that Salarians are born with claws of some kind and have the choice to have them removed later on in life if they’re gonna use haptic feedback implants or just find it easier to do their jobs without them.

((Re-uploading because it wasn’t appearing in the tags properly, plus I added a couple things))

[dr-ladybird]

Wait - is it actually canon that salarians don’t have claws or fingernails? I possibly need to look closer.

[agenttazzik]

@dr-ladybird The first 3 games, salarians always wore gloves, so we never got to see their bare hands. In Andromeda they're shown to have no claws, however I really like the idea of them having claws of some type as some kind of small defence mechanism perhaps? Like when they hatch, in case their young are in danger they have little claws to scratch at predators or on the other hand, claws to grip on to rocks/trees to climb in their jungle environment.

[agenttazzik]

It's canon that Tazzik has claws and my crops are flourishing because of this fact.

Like, I imagine he takes his gloves off and taps his claws on a hard surface near Feron to A. Annoy him and B. To freak him the FUCK out.

Is Taz pissed at Feron? Toying with him? Have a hearty tune stuck in his head that hes subconsciously tapping his claws to? Hell if Feron knows but it's best to peace the fuck out of the room.

Imagine someone minding their own business and then they hear the scraping of nails/claws on metal and turn around to see Tazzik with a amused smirk on his face. Like??? If I could write half decently, I'd totally write a fic.

I also headcanon that Salarians are born with claws of some kind and have the choice to have them removed later on in life if they're gonna use haptic feedback implants or just find it easier to do their jobs without them.

((Re-uploading because it wasn't appearing in the tags properly, plus I added a couple things))

[re-3d]