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@agressivelyaro
welcome to my aro blog! *.ā§
- name: rem
- they/them, ze/zir, and he/him
- adult, not american
icon by @eyobis-andthe-bunnycats!
as for tagging: aroallo is tagged with the 'aro' first, greyro is spelt with an e, and romance repulsed/favourable/neutral is shortened to romo repulsed/ect!!
This blog mostly runs on a queue, (tagged 'q'), however asks aren't queued! I tend to take a while to get round to them though
[ID in alt]
me with all of these pride posts
dreaming of a world in which people know about aromanticism. And by "know" I don't mean "having a vague idea of it's existence", I mean know. I mean a world where an in depth article discussing people's choice to stay single will include an aromantic perspective. I mean a world where people have an understanding of why love, as an emotion, is detached from morality. A world where people will ask you "what kind of relationships do you want in your life?" instead of asking "do you have a boyfriend?". I dream of a world where aromantic people can exist without the constant underlying expectation of being dehumanized, erased and belittled by an unexpected, unassuming comment. I try to create a microcosm of this world around me. I hope it will be easier one day.
Shout-out to aromantic people whose lives are so fucking busy that they periodically forget what day of the week it is. today is Wednesday, June 5th. Happy Aromantic Visibility Day.
Today is Thursday, June 5th. Happy Aromantic Visibility Day.
It's June 5th again!
just a pride month reminder:
if you are making something featuring multiple flags and you put in the asexual flag, you better put in the aromantic flag.
if you put in the aroace flag, you better put in the aroallo flag.
fighting aromantic erasure starts with YOU š«µ
for reference:
^ the aromantic flag
^ the aroallo (aromantic allosexual) flag
& just btw, aromantic erasure is so bad that on pubmed, many of the very few studies that have looked into aspec people specifically, categorize us as a type of asexuality. from this study:
Our findings highlight that aromantic people wish for aromanticism not to be considered a part of asexualityāa practice that has dominated contemporary literature (Antonsen etĀ al. 2020; Carvalho & Rodrigues, 2022; Clark & Zimmerman, 2022; Hall & Knox, 2022; Zheng & Su, 2018). Many participants clarified the distinction between their sexual identity and romantic identity and highlighted that though they may be connected for some, they should be considered independently as unique contributors to an individualās identity and experience. This aligns with a previous aromantic community survey that showed 72% of the sample did not identify with asexual terminology (AUREA, 2021a). In combination with our findings, this suggests that a tendency to conflate and describe these identities as the same or linked may be to the disadvantage of a significant portion of the aromantic community.
this is why it is so important to include aromantic people as our own group and to specifically include non-asexual aromantics. i hope y'all can understand how frustrating it is to be erased through a group that is already erased.
asexual representation is sparse? all aromantic rep is asexual and most of the time people don't even bother to remember that "aromantic" is its own thing. i can't count how many times i've seen a character talk about not experiencing romantic attraction, only for people to go "wow asexual rep!" even though sexual attraction was never brought up.
asexual community & resources are sparse? when i try to look up groups for aromantics, i get resources on "ace & aro groups" that are literally all asexual-focused. at best asexual-focused with a mention of aromantic people. which isn't really helpful when you are aroallo and don't really want or need a group that is clearly meant for alloro asexuals and aroaces.
asexual history is sparse? i've literally never seen anything even trying to talk about aromantic history. the most impactful thing on aro history is that one tumblr post talking about a woman at a nursing home who heard the term and realized her best friend was likely aro. see above with the character situation as well.
my point here is not "aros have it worse than aces" because we are both aspec and both get fucked over by the same forces and in fact, a LOT of asexual aromantics are also very frustrated by aromantic erasure! i've even heard some people talk about not identifying as strongly as asexual, even though it fits them, because they feel their aro identity is more important to them but gets constantly erased by their asexuality.
my point is that it is so fucking disheartening to be aro even in queer spaces that are trying to be asexual-inclusive, even in supposedly aspec spaces, because it swiftly becomes apparent that people see your entire identity as just a footnote for asexuality. so many people never even realize they are aro because they aren't asexual and don't realize that you can be aro but not ace. i dealt with some really intense arophobia as a teen after realizing i was aro, feeling broken and alone. it hit much harder than any internalized homophobia or transphobia did for me at the time. i did not meet another person who identified as aromantic irl until this year. any resources and community that i had as a queer teen, as a trans teen, did not exist for me as an aro teen and does not exist for me as an aro adult, really.
and big problem is that, because people think of aromanticism as just a footnote of asexuality, they implicitly assume that more asexual rep, more asexual resources, more asexual visibility will automatically serve aromantics too. and when it doesn't work like that, aro people continue to suffer as a result.
things have improved over the years and i hope will continue to! but i really need every queer person to become more aware of aromanticism & arophobia & how the queer community contributes to it & hurts aro people. hence why i am so testy about when people will include the ace flag but not the aro one. YOU š«µ will care about your aromantic siblings and consider us this pride month!!!!!
let something aro happen to me this pride month
An oriented aro ace person might also be in a relationship despite lacking attraction such as if they are cupioromantic ( see my other post)
There is also a term called Angled Aro Ace - This is for people who feel a tertiary attraction but aren't strictly Aro Ace (elsewhere on the Aro Ace spectrum such as grey or demi). However, most people seem to accept aro ace spec people as oriented too, so use the label that makes you most comfortable. Don't let anybody gate keep you.
anyways, alt text ( sorry that I have been bad at that recently)
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Did you know Aro Aces can have an orientation?
Ace people (Asexual) don't feel sexual attraction
Aro people (Aromantic) don't feel romantic attraction
That doesn't stop them from experiencing OTHER forms of attraction!
Some kinds of tertiary attraction:
aesthetic- the ability to admire beauty
sensual - appeals to senses such as touch in a non-sexual way
alterous - a deep emotional connection
queerplatonic - relationships that aren't romantic but are more than friends.
An aro ace person who experiences these kinds of attractions might feel that it's significant enough to take on another label to describe it
"I only feel queer platonic attraction towards other women! I'm an aro ace lesbian!"
"I feel enough aesthetic and sensual attraction to men that I call myself a gay aro ace.
I like being touched but not in a sexual or romantic way, such as holding hands and cuddling!"
Remember - Engaging in what is perceived to be romantic behaviors doesn't necessarily indicate romantic or sexual attraction
It doesn't mean they are faking, It doesn't mean they are less aro ace, It means they are describing a tertiary attraction that affects their life.
listen to me. if youre aro you have to be louder about it. i dont care how loud about it you are already you have to be louder. if we have to be surrounded knee deep by amatonormativity all the time every day its good for the soul to be loud and annoying about your aromanticism
Figured this one would be a hit with the aros.
Clown Month Day 2: Pride
This aroace clown doesn't care about your lame-ass boyfriend. Didn't you used to have interests?
I want more aromantic characters who are not also asexual !!! I want more characters who 100 percent want to get it on but just donāt feel any romantic feelings for anyone. I want more aromantic characters with āfriends with benefitsā except itās literally just that. Thatās their best friend and sometimes they let them fuck. More aromantic characters please !!!!
aromantic characters who treat being told āi love youā like itās a threat, my beloved
aromantic characters who realize someone theyāre close to is developing romantic feelings for them and expects them to return those feelings and go into fight or flight mode, my beloved
aromantic characters who feel romance closing on them like a bear trap and would rather chew off their own leg than be caught in it, my beloved
When my aunt was in her late 20s people used to rudely ask herĀ āWhy arenāt you married yet?ā and sheād replyĀ āJust lucky, I guessā which I think is one of the best things I have ever heard
aromanticism is so funny. listening to the romantic struggles of my coworkers and family members nodding my head intrigued writing on my imaginary clipboard. hmmm yes i see. my diagnosis is that ābeing in loveā appears to suck a lot of the time. my condolences to you and your family
PAN-O-RAMA
GroĆglockner HochalpenstraĆe, Heiligenblut, Austria 2018.
CONTAX G2 | Zeiss Biogon 28mm f/2.8 | Kodak Gold 200
How it feels to walk through life knowing you never have to get married
hello, tumblr user. before you is an aromantic character. they have never expressed any hint of asexuality. your task is simple: do not refer to them as an "aroace" or get mad at people writing smut about them. the duration of this task is the rest of your life. if you fail at any point in the future, i will personally shoot you.
good luck.
