Since watching helluva boss, I've seen a lot of debate/deconstruction around stolitz. The relationship starts off as transactional with a major power imbalance, leading some people to label Stolas as an abuser. This idea is predicated on the idea that he's forcing Blitzø into sex and using his status to pressure him.
This take is... Woefully misinformed, in my opinion. Not only does it ignore the text of the show, but it also dilutes terms like rape & assault when applied incorrectly like this. That is not to say that Stolitz have a healthy relationship! But that looking at it in such extreme terms exclusively misses a lot of the show's intentional nuance.
A lot of anti-Stolas sentiment comes from the full moon deal, which he puts in place during ep1 (Murder Family). Canonically, we know that he and Blitzø have already had sex on at least two occasions before this (in Mission Zero and The Circus flashback) but this is where the terms of their sexual relationship are clearly defined. They're quite simple:
1. Blitzø gets to use the grimoire
2. Stolas and Blitzø have sex every month
This is a clear example of unfair pressure which is absolutely an unhealthy, toxic dynamic. It sets up the situation that Blitzø's business is reliant on him having sex with Stolas. Thus, he cannot reasonably consent to the sex because he might be concerned about adverse consequences.
Except... This surface level reading ignores a lot of what we actually see on screen.
Firstly, Blitzø is not afraid to reject Stolas. He does so multiple times in season 1:
As early as ep2, Blitzø tells Stolas that he's not interested in sleeping with him and that he should find someone else. In ep7, he refuses him again, telling him he's "not in the mood".
Resultingly - despite the potential for a coercive sexual dynamic - Blitzø doesn't appear to consider himself in any danger when he does reject Stolas. The relationship IS unhealthy but it is not one where Blitzø doesn't have the agency to consent/withdraw consent.
Furthermore, by S2 the deal is essentially done away with. After that ep7 moment where Blitzø gives Stolas insight into how he's feeling, Stolas realises that he's been treating Blitzø badly. The moment he overcomes his own ignorance, his approach to their relationships entirely shifts. From that point forward, he offers Blitzø an excuse for every full moon and resolves their power dynamic by giving him the crystal. Stolas pretty much removes any of the control he had over Blitzø; that is not the behaviour of intentionally abusive person.
As the new pilot, Mission Zero gives clarity on the early dynamic with the benefit of hindsight. It presents the toxicity of their relationship but - much like S1 itself - maintains that neither Stolas nor Blitzø are unapologetically cruel in their treatment of one another.
To start, this is really the only time we see Blitzø be genuinely afraid of Stolas. At this point, they have only had sex once and Blitzø does not have a read on Stolas' personality. Despite that, he once again has no issue rejecting his initial sexual advances:
As you can see, he was frightened enough of Stolas as a physical threat to already be packing his things, but once Stolas "flirts" with him, Blitzø hangs up without hesitation. There's no deal to tie them together and, if anything, Stolas is presently a victim to Blitzø since Blitzø has stolen his grimoire. Aside from excessive vulgarity, Stolas doesn't do anything wrong in this moment.
However, he does continue to push and portals to the office. After some back and forth, he wears Blitzø down -
For me, this is a good example of realistically poor form from Stolas. His behaviour (even without the deal) pressures Blitzø after he's already made his disinterest obvious. Blitzø relenting and saying "you know what fine, you win" is not enthusiastic consent.
(That said, Blitzø does like to present as nonchalant, but Stolas doesn't know him well enough to know that yet so this point still stands).
The deal isn't the sole factor in their unhealthy relationship. It's them ignoring one another's boundaries; which Stolas is not exclusively to blame for.
It's rather easy to see that Stolas is more powerful than Blitzø (physically, financially, even racially) and to presume Blitzø could not force him into anything. After all, Stolas is comically obsessed and very eager every time he's on screen. However, Blitzø is also at fault for the toxic way their relationship began:
In The Circus flashback, we see their initial reunion. While Stolas flirts first, Blitzø is the one who makes it physical. As soon as Blitzø reciprocates (and describes his career as a professional killer), Stolas rescinds his consent and becomes visibly uncomfortable. We know that there are ways an imp could hurt a Goetia and Stolas, a victim of domestic abuse, cannot be faulted for feeling intimidated here.
All the while, Blitzø is trying to steal from him! He's explicitly using sexual attention to distract and manipulate Stolas. This is their first sexual encounter and Stolas' (presumably) first time having sex in several years. In a childish world where we must point out blame, it would fall squarely upon Blitzø.
However, it is clear that Blitzø didn't plan to actually have sex with Stolas (though that does not change the harassment) and Stolas does end up liking how the night goes. The way Blitzø acted is still unfair, though.
This further complicates their full moon deal. Yes, Stolas uses the grimoire to bargain for sex, but Blitzø steals the grimoire first. The alternative solution would be Stolas just taking the grimoire back and possibly turning Blitzø in for the robbery. Though Stolas sets out the exact terms of their deal, it's Blitzø during Mission Zero who originally suggests he should get to keep the grimoire for "ploughing [Stolas] on company time". This line sets up the idea of trading sexual favours.
Blitzø is also rather sexually aggressive after they "break-up", evident in the opening of Apology Tour:
During this conversation, Stolas has already expressed his discomfort and said he does not want to "do sex" with Blitzø. Blitzø then continues to pressure him, grab him, and describe "fucking" him.
This is not particularly surprising. Blitzø is overly sexual in many instances and sexually harasses M&M throughout the show, only reflecting during Ghostfuckers. In ep1 - when he's angry with Moxxie for messing up their job - he threatens to "fuck [him] and his wife" if Moxxie steps out of line again.
None of this is to say that Blitzø is villainous either. Just that both sides must taken in account if such an accusation is to be levelled at Stolas.
Besides all of this, Helluva Boss does show other unhealthy, explicitly non-consensual instances between Stolas and Blitzø with other characters.
Most plainly, we have Stella:
Since they're in a forced marriage where a child is expected, neither Stolas nor Stella can actually consent. Knowing Stolas is a gay man only makes this clearer. What pushes Stella from a fellow victim to a simultaneous perpetrator is her ridicule of Stolas. She berates him in public and laughs at this traumatising encounter. She is also constantly verbally abusive and physically abusive, throwing things at him and hitting him. While she might not be independently powerful enough to cause lasting damage, the assassin that she orchestrates does hospitalise Stolas.
Blitzø's example is not as overt but it's still relevant to discuss:
During s2ep3, Blitzø chooses to have sex with Chaz. We hear their intercourse, in which Blitzø tells Chaz to "slow down" and Chaz calls him a "bitch" for, essentially, not being able to handle him sexually. While Blitzø initially consented, his needs aren't taken into account during the act and it's clearly a painful night.
Chaz then drugs and traps Blitzø afterwards.
The way Stolas and Blitzø respond in these situations are not how they respond to one another. They're much more comfortable with each other and have far more development as 'Stolitz'. Their relationship might not be healthy, however it should be treated with nuance.
It's reductive to label Stolitz as solely toxic and especially harmful to plaster either character with ill-fitting labels like "rapist" and "abuser" when the show's writing demonstrates far more depth. Neither of them are comparable to characters like Valentino in Hazbin Hotel.
Even so, their imbalanced dynamic should not be overlooked. Both Stolas and Blitzø engage in behaviour that cause significant stress & pain to a person they care about. This has not been resolved as of the end of season 2. Rather, the events of Mastermind forced them into close proximity and their relationship and "break-up" have not been discussed since.
Without addressing these elements, they're very likely to fall into the same patterns in s3. With Stolas homeless and powerless, the power dynamic has flipped. If he and Blitzø restart their sexual relationship without communicating, it might be difficult for Stolas to make his own needs heard when another break-up might lead to him being kicked out and fired from I.M.P. Similarly, Blitzø might still feel the pressure from their previous deal and have difficulty separating his new relationship with Stolas from their old transactional one.
Overall... They need to talk.
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