Bicycling

I’m a wife, mom and grand mother in her 60's. I started cycling in 2010! When I was a teenager, I used to ride all over the City of Tacoma, WA, probably putting in 50 miles a day. As an adult I had not ridden more than about 20 miles in a year and by...

[bicyclingismyhobby]

[bicyclingismyhobby]

Rode my bicycle to work. Should have driven. Received a call from the police saying my car was involved in a hit and run. I immediately thought someone stole my car. My car isn't worth steeling, LOL. Nope. Some idiot driving down my street rearended the silver car which then hit my car. I just put $1,400 into it to get it safe to drive.

I was going to buy a new car, but I am cheap and I don't want to pay the crazy expensive prices for newer cars these days. So, instead I fixed up my beater. Then THIS!!!!

Found a guy. You know the GUY. He says he can fix my car for $650. We will see.

[bicyclingismyhobby]

So my grandchild asked if he could do a 5k with me. I agreed. He did ok even though he didn't train. I told him if he wanted to do more, he would have to train. I do not want any injuries. He hasn't trained once. This was last fall. This year he wants to do a 10k. Not without training. He thinks running to school every morning is training. Nope. He also doesn't take care of his shoes. I bought him a pair of running shoes and told him to only wear them to run. He wore them every day to school and ruined them. DO YOU KNOW how expensive running shoes are? I can't afford for him to run with me. I am disappointed.

[bicyclingismyhobby]

Gaslighting

This is a new term for me. Unfortunately, it is something I have experience for over 20 years and didn't realize it had a name until just recently. The only reason I know this term is because I have seen my daughter living in a gaslighting relationship and had to investigate how to help her. Through my investigation, I have educated myself and found that I have lived through exactly the same circumstances as she is.

The advice that is out there is to journalize your experiences. Do not confront the abuser. They are experts at this game. You are made to think you are crazy, losing it and over exaggerating the situation. There is no validation ever!

I left this situation over a year ago. I had been trying to leave the situation for over 20 years and just kept staying. I knew something was wrong but felt I could fix it or that I was the problem. Now I realize that Yes, I was PART of the problem, but it wasn't that I was crazy, exaggerating or even all my fault, it was part of the abuse.

It is almost a relief. I am very against divorce. I feel it is too easy to get one and I felt like a failure. Now I realize I HAD to leave in order to get myself back. I haven't seen my true self for over 20 years.

Don't get me wrong. I still love him. That is probably still part of the abuse. There is a lot of work to do. I am 60 years old. I don't have much time life on this earth, but what time I do have, I will be fixing what has been broken for so long. I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. The light isn't failure, guilt or searching for happiness. It is waking up to what I have missed for so long. A light I never thought I would see again. I can see it and it is getting brighter.

[bicyclingismyhobby]

Compliments

I am never one to accept a compliment and believe it.

I answer the phones for our office. this morning I talked to a regular caller. After we finished up with the business of the phone call, he said.....I just want to let you know that you are always so pleasant when I call. You are so polite and I just wanted to let you know what a good presence for the front office you offer.

I thanked him for his compliment and we said our goodbyes. I got off the phone and started to cry. Why? I had a really horrible weekend. It was full of crying, anger and self-doubt. I really needed to hear something positive about myself and quit the negative self-talk. He will never know how much he helped today.

[bicyclingismyhobby]

My 14 year old grandson and I did a thing on Saturday. We ran a 5k. He just recently decided he wanted to start joining me on my runs. The first 5k we ran together, he came in at 38 minutes or so. This is his second and he made quite an improvement. I haven't been running all summer, so I am happy just to finish and not be last. We are going to start training together to do a 10k in the spring.

Wait, he is as tall as I am, I never noticed that before. LOL

[bicyclingismyhobby]

My youngest grand-daughter. She is the only one who doesn't know how to ride a bike. She won't let me get rid of the training wheals. Her older cousins have even tried to help her learn. She just can't find the balance. She is here participating in the summer bicycle races. She came in last and she was very disappointed. I told her to just have fun. She wanted a medal. That will come. The other kids got on the podium but I didn't get a picture.

[bicyclingismyhobby]

This guy right here is amazing. He came to me as the Bike Club President and asked me to take over a yearly ride he was doing in Leavenworth with a few friends. He already had the routes. He marked the routes. I didn't have to do anything but show up and register people. He even helped with that!

We had a business in town that had invited him and his buddies to come after the ride to have beers in their Restaurant garden. It started out as a free ride, however, with the bike club in charge, we had to have a small fee of $10.00 to pay for the insurance. Cheap! It is a self-SAG, no support, using C Stores and Gas Stations. The year I took over, there were about 30 people that showed. This year......2021........

The Restaurant had closed with the garden. New owner said "ok, we can open the garden for you" Cool, we can still use the garden. 2 days before the ride, NOPE! no garden, we have a wedding. WOW, I have 50 people coming for this ride. Called another local restaurant and their attitude was more inviting. Their answer.... Sure, we will take your business, come on down". 2 DAYS BEFORE THE RIDE! We were ecstatic, to say the least. Ok, we can still have our ride. Small change to the route and immediate email to all riders. Done and Done!

We didn't have 50 people show, we had 70 people show. The route was so beautiful, only 2 people got lost. No one had to be SAGd in. The weather? 80 degrees! The Restaurant? AMAZING! The waitress who thought 50 people were going to show didn't blink an eye at 70. She never missed a beat. Didn't mess up anyone's order. The food was outstanding. Nothing went wrong. How can that happen? IT DID!

[bicyclingismyhobby]

We did a thing last week. Tour de Nebraska 2021. We won the Spirit Award.

I know that some group bike rides are not for kids. I know some people do not like kids. I am very careful not to let my grandkids irritate people. I want to tell you a little about these kids:

This is the oldest. He is sixteen. He has ridden 5 years with me. His first was Bike Across Missouri. It was full of hills and he did outstanding. His second was Bike Across Kansas. It was hard work but he finished everyday. Then Tour De Fault Line, Tour De Nebraska and last we did Tour De Nebraska again. He is a champ in my eyes. Never sagged in even when things got difficult. He says he will always go on these rides with me even after he graduates. I am not holding my breath but it does make my heart happy when he says it. He likes to ride ahead of the pack. He is faster than I am. He tries to help his younger siblings learn but he gets impatient with them when they won't listen to his expert advise. He doesn't meet a stranger. By the end of each ride, almost every rider knows him. I am not Anita, I am Nico's grandmother. At the end of BAM, I heard a couple I was walking past say "Hey, that is Nico's grandmother". I just smiled.

This is the middle child. He is 14. He is slower than his older brother and he has a huge heart. He never leaves me behind. He likes to look at the surroundings rather than focus on speed like his older brother. We hang together (for now) and talk about the scenery and other riders and life. He is an introvert like his grandmother so he doesn't make friends as easy has his older brother.

This is the youngest, he is 9 and this was his first week long ride. He is so zealous for riding, it doesn't matter the distance, he is ready to go. They don't live near me like they used to, so this year it was harder to train for this. The longest ride he had been on was a 30 mile ride and only once. He is a huge momma's boy. He hasn't always liked gramma like the others have. That is until bicycling. I was afraid we were going to have to SAG in this time since I didn't think he was quite ready for the ride. He proved me wrong. He is another one that doesn't know a stranger.

The whole week the riders were talking about the 3 kids that were riding with their grandmother. They were really impressed that they completed every day without quitting. I had one woman come up to me and say that she never thought of asking her grandkids if they wanted to go with her. She would ask them in the future. I am glad the kids could set a good example.

I am so proud of all of them and don't know what I would do without them. The comments I received from the other riders were always positive and the reason they won the award. They always say "on your left", I INSIST on it. They always offer to help. They have their own tents that they are responsible for setting up and taking down and packing on the truck. It is my vacation also and I don't want to work harder because they want to come along.

The first day of TDN, ended up being a 60 mile ride. We had full on head wind and heat. Not once did these boys ask to SAG in. In fact on the last 10 miles of the ride, I was ready to just quit. We found out later that a lot of people did quit. Some ended up in the hospital. We had to rest every 2 miles on the last 10 miles of the ride. Between the heat and the wind, I would say it was more like a 100 mile day. It was hard and they never complained.

I don't know what ride we will do next year, but I know it will be an adventure.

[bicyclingismyhobby]

We are getting ready for a summer week long ride. Yea!!! The youngest in the back ground is the most excited about going. He is only 9! He rides harder than all of us. I can’t wait to see what he will do. The tallest is probably going to do his last week long ride with me this year. He is looking at finding a job. I can’t wait for June 2021 to get here.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

One of these days you’re going to wake up and realize you’re beautiful and powerful … That will be the day you stop running after people who don’t see your worth. That will be a really good day.

Brooke Hampton (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

LOVE THIS. It has been a long time to get to this point, but I am finally there! Not wasting my time with certain people anymore. Life is too short for that.

[bicyclingismyhobby]

My 2020

Boy was 2020 a year. I know everyone is saying that. Here is my story.

My youngest who turned 27 in January went through a horrible year and brought her whole family into the drama. She divorced and remarried. She divorced an okay guy (his choice, not hers) and married a horrible guy. He was a MMA fighter. He got my daughter into working out and she looked great! However, he was an acholic and destroyed everyone around him. They are now divorced, Thank God! 

I have moved 3 times since 2019 and I am finally done moving. People wanted chances and I knew better, but I gave it to them anyway. Done with that. Toxic  people draw the life out of you. Back to being by myself. Not loving it, but better than the alternative.

When the lockdown began, I had to continue working the group home as an essential worker. The law office shut down, but I continued to go in and work some days. Essential stuff only. People were still dying and needing estate planning. I thought I would get out and ride a lot during the lock down. I thought wrong. I didn’t hardly ride at all. Turns out, I am now afraid to ride by myself. I did ride some, mostly I commuted to work. I have noticed that during the lockdown people have been more distracted and angry. That scared me. Lowest mileage year since I started riding in 2010.

All Bicycle Club stuff stopped. I got really depressed due to my own circumstances and quit everything. I got really angry at EVERYONE. Why are people so stupid. Turns out I was really angry at myself.

I finally got back in my own place, I have a gym downstairs of my own. I quit the local gym and I started back to working out. I am not where I need to be, but I AM working two full-time jobs now. It is okay to do what I can. 

I had no adventures in 2020, except I did buy myself a camper and started camping on the weekends just to get away.

My grandkids who all have bikes in my basement have completely stopped riding. I am very disappointed.  We will see how 2021 goes with them, but it doesn’t look hopeful at this time.

I have to change my focus again. I loved riding with the kids. I thought they loved riding with me. 

I am still known as the crazy woman who rides her bike a lot, but now it isn’t a reputation I have continued to earn. Just left over from my past riding. I will get back to it.

Here is to a better 2021! Talk to you soon!

[oliviafitmomof3]

[bicyclingismyhobby]

Love This!

[bicyclingismyhobby]

Finally Happening

I am finally getting my life together. I see a light at the end of the tunnel. A few years ago, I tried to totally sabotage my life and with that I almost took some innocent people with me. I was miserable and I tried to fix it the wrong way. I hurt some very important people in my life along with myself. I learned a lot from that. I can’t take back what I did and the hurt that I caused, but I can move forward and stop looking back at the pain.

I pretty much quit all the things that made me happy, including my cycling. I am back to it, but at my pace and not keeping up with anyone. I love cycling and will never completely stop. 

I am finally loosing weight and keeping a better diet. I am back to running and weight lifting. That is what is the most surprising. I have ALWAYS hated weight lifting. All of the sudden, I am ok with it and look forward to the workouts. I have given up temporarily the swimming, but I should be able to get back to it during the spring.

The most important is that I am being me. I have no one that I have to answer to right now, except God. I have distanced myself from the people who cause me drama, to include my grandkids. Not all of them, just the ones who want to pull me into their drama that they cause.

I am happy by myself and I do not NEED anyone. I want people in my life, even the ones that I have let go of, but it will be at my choosing and not their insistence. I am focusing on myself and my betterment. I only have so many Saturdays left to live and I am making the most of them. I am still too busy, but no longer feel guilty for it. I like staying busy. I like new adventures. I love myself today. I love who I have become this last year. I am okay if you don’t like me because I like me and that is what matters.

Here is to many more adventures.

[bicyclingismyhobby]

Being the President of the local bike club.

I have been the President for 4 years now. My term was only supposed to last 2 years. I can’t find anyone to replace me. No one will step up and take on the job even though I would stay on and help out every bit of what I am helping now. I need to give up this position. 

The reason I don’t is because the last President mentioned to me that the Club needs to just fold. Give our Century ride to the City to take over. She said she could do it with her eyes closed. I think she said that to make me feel bad about how hard I was working with little success. It worked. 

Why don’t I give it to the City? The City doesn’t love it like us cyclists do. They will let it go away. This bike ride does really good things for the City. They just don’t realize it. I feel like it is my baby and I just don’t want to see it go away. It helps in the following ways:

Covers trophy's for the kids summer bike races. Gives Leavenworth kids something to do without having to go to Kansas City.

Pays the insurance for a fund raiser in the winter. Brings people from out of town and they spend money.

Sponsors the building of trails in one of our parks, again bringing people from out of town who spend money.

Brings 150 riders plus their families into town for one day and spend their money.

These are all good things for a City that claims they want to grow. Without the bike club, will the City survive? Of course. Will the cyclists still ride? Yes! Will these programs continue? I don’t know, but I would hope so. 

I do not have a summer life any more. I do not have enough volunteers to do this Century Ride the way it should go. I have like 3 volunteers who do very little. I could not do it without them. I am exhausted and I go through this thought pattern every September as the date gets closer. 

I don’t want to give it up, but I may not have a choice. I want to have a life outside of the bike club. I want to get back to riding like I used to. 

By this time next month, I will probably already be planning on next year, but right now, I just want to go someplace and hide till it is all over.

[bicyclingismyhobby]

RAGBRAI - it rained ALL day. Started raining at about 5am. The app said it would stop raining by 10am. It didn't stop. We rode in the rain for about 5 miles. The oldest boy just didn't want to ride in any more rain. He did anyway when we all got on the bikes. The two younger boys really wanted to ride so we rode to the next town which was 5 miles away. The youngest one was terrified someone would ride too close to him and make him crash. I told him he had to ride next to me and could not ride ahead or get behind. He white knuckled it the whole 5 miles. I asked him to ride a little bit ahead so I could get video of the kids riding RAGBRAI. All of the sudden, I couldn't keep up with him. He was supposed to ride 10 miles, but he was so scared, we stopped it at 5 miles. Next year, he will be ready. I am thinking Tandem.

We decided to just drive to Atlantic and wait for the rain to stop then we would ride out of Atlantic in reverse and ride back with the riders. By the time the rain stopped, we just were no longer in the mood to ride. We packed up and drove the 3 hours home. I was a little disappointed, but we have time to train for next year. My older boys were surprised about the lines. I told them not to wait too long to go to the bathroom. They didn't believe me. I tried to warn them. The middle one got caught almost peeing himself. Sometimes they only learn the hard way.

[bicyclingismyhobby]

At RAGBRAI, the kids being silly. They can't wait to ride tomorrow. The granddaughter is just along for the support. She doesn't want to ride.