Somehow - Abbacchio x GN Reader
Wrote this because I just want my man to be happy sobs. Also this is based on Phony Ppl - Somehow 's lyrics (not a songfic but the lyrics screams abba at me).
It has been close to 2 months since your work with him completed, but he has no idea it left an impact to him. And with you gone, he found himself to be more lonelier than before. He could have just go to your house, but him being Leone Abbacchio, he needs to pull himself together, he rather drown himself in wine than knocking on your door.
So sometimes he found himself in a bar, drinking himself to the point of stupor, trying to forget you but he always found himself just thinking about you. He suppose to be mad at himself, he should've been. He let himself fall into this situation, he let himself fall for you, yet, why is he smiling when his mind wanders to you?
One day, on a leisure sunny day, he decides to pay Buccellati a visit, being distraught by the thought of you haunting him every night. It took him weeks to finally bite his ego down and asked Buccellati for a pair of ears.
"You're afraid." Buccellati said behind his paper, not even lifting his head to peak at Abbacchio's face. Abbacchio didnt say anything, he still respect Buccellati, even as a friend.
He finally put his paper down, now focusing himself on the goth before him
"You're afraid of screwing things up again, afraid of getting hurt, so you try to push your feelings aside, shutting it down instead.
He gestured Abbacchio to sit down in front of his desk. Abbacchio only sighed before plopping down on the chair.
"Absolutely not." Abbacchio replies, his voice were sharp and he crossed his arm around his chest defensively.
Buccellati frowns, but he tries to smile for his friend.
"I don't need to lick your face to know that you're lying." And with that simple threat, it sends shivers down Abbacchio's spine, shutting him up completely.
"Abbacchio, as your superior, I do not appreciate seeing you being distracted by such minor issues. It could jeopardize your work flow." Buccellati puts both of his elbow on the table, intertwining his hands in his own fingers.
Abbacchio looks down, silently curses on himself for letting himself fall for you in the first place. He agrees to Buccellati's point.
"But," Buccellati pauses, he rest his fist on his chin.
"As a friend, your trusted friend for years, you should stop beating yourself."
And that earn Abbacchio's attention, he lifts his head up, now focusing at Buccellati's.
"It is time for you to love yourself. You deserve your own happiness. It doesn't matter what kind of man you were before,"
He suddenly gets up and clasp his palm into Abbacchio's hand, catching him by surprise. Nevertheless, he keeps on talking.
"What matters now is the current you. The present you! And if you like a guy or like a girl so be it!"
Buccellati finally lets go of his hand, retreating back to his seat. He adjusted his cufflinks before continuing his pep talk.
"You should stop lying to yourself and be true to your feelings."
And that was Buccellati's advice to him, before he dismissed him from his office.
There are times where he let his mind loose, thinking of what would have been if both of your lives are different. Maybe, things could be different. Maybe, in that universe, both of you could be together. He always tries to shut down those thoughts, but most of his attempts leads him back to the same root, you.
At first, he shakes it off, thinking that's just utterly ridiculous. A person with tons of unresolved emotional baggage doesn't deserve any shot of happiness. But, of course, his heart is as stubborn as he is. Buccellati's word starts to echo in his head. "Stop beating yourself." And slowly, with Buccellati's word of encouragement, he starts to indulge himself into that thought. Thoughts of waking up every morning with you by his side, legs hooking onto each other, thoughts of embracing you from behind when you are cooking his favorite meal, holding your hands, cuddling you, kissing you. These are just a few things he wish he could do to you.
A man without dream, a man with no hopes in his life. That's what he believes. Everything in his path is dark, nothing to look forward too. But, everything seems to change when you walked into his life. Even when both of you were on site, fighting against enemies, drenched in blood, clothes stained, body bruises, he couldnt deny but to feel at peace by your side, finally feeling he's alive again. (Much to his dismay) He starts to think maybe its worth the shot to pursue you. Maybe there are something he can look forward to in his uncertain life.
Which is why he is now at your front door, shivering and drenched in rain. The italian weather was not kind to him today. On his way to your apartment, he got caught in the middle of the rain and with no available shelter around the area, he says screwed it and faced the rain. For a moment, he hesitate to knock on your door, a lot of things are running inside his mind right now. What if you hated him? What if you are actually glad your job with him is finally done? He suddenly became aware of how shit he looks like right now, unconciously tries to wipe his mascara stained eyes with his wet sleeve. Now all he wants is to just turn back and ditch his whole effort, but his body froze and refuse to let him move away, as if to tell him its now or never.
He took a deep breath, letting out a barely audible sigh, before knocking on your door.
5,6,7,8 seconds has pass, but for Abbacchio, it feels almost like an eternity. The butterflies in his stomach are acting up again and being wet and cold doesnt help anything. Just as he was about to speculate things happening behind the closed door, it flung open, showing you in all of your glory.
You peered outside, only to see him, soaking wet from head to toe. Some of his makeup melts into a black streak, running down his slightly redden cheek. And for once he ditched his gaudy leather goth coat, opting for a black turtleneck and a gray sweatpants instead. It could've look good on him, if only the rain wouldn't interfere. You haven't seen him since the assignment has been completed almost 2 months ago, so this is definitely a pleasant surprise for you.
In all honesty, you are terrified of him. His mood rivals that of a landmine. One minute he's fine but next minute suddenly he treats you like crap. But, despite his stoic and stern personality, for some reason, you can't deny that you are somewhat attracted to him. There are times, although seldomly, where you see his tough guy act falters and its usually during cooldowns where both of you get to go back to your temporary accommodation and relax. He's a lot more calm when he's not occupied with anything work related. Sometimes you wish you could see this side of his more often but with both of you guys needing to keep on alert, playing cat and mouse with the perp, its unfortunate to say what were you hoping didn't turn out to what you want it to be.
That's what you thought before today (or what just unravels before you) happened. And now that he's really in front of you (despite being in a rather unfortunate state), you went blank immediately, your body goes fully autopilot. You gulped down and didn't question anything, beckoning him to go inside your domicile instead. It would be a problem for you that he gets sick while in your hand.
You didnt give any chance for him to explain himself before you instructed him to clean himself up first.
"You can use the bathroom, its at the corner left, next to the kitchen. I get the towels and clothes for you, okay?" You said, before disappearing inside your room.
He didn't say anything, only nodding and humming before stepping inside the bathroom. A few minutes later, you knock the bathroom's door, before he opens the door slightly, peeking his head out.
"I hope you don't mind wearing this for a while." You hand him the clothes and the towel you promised, before quickly walks away, not wanting to let him see how pink your cheeks were.
It probably gonna take him a while to prep himself up so you made him and yourself some hot cocoa while waiting for him to be done and explain this odd situation.
You heard the door open, indicating he's done with it, so you plop down on your couch, setting the cups on your coffee table.
Now that he's dry and his eyes is clear, he can see how tiny and dimly lighted your apartment is. Although, he couldn't deny it look cozy, the minimal design of your house suits your overall aesthetic.
He finally appears in your sight, wearing the most oversized t shirt you have lying around in the closet and an old boxer. The shirt fits him alright but the boxer barely hangs there, clinging to his waist desperately. Good thing the shirt covers up until his thighs.
"I don't have coffee. Hot cocoa?" You raised your cup, offering him to take his cup on the table. He walks to the table, grabbing the cup before slowly settling himself on the couch right next to you. He slowly sipped his drink, relishing at how warm it was. He unconciously smacked his lips, wiping it with his finger before setting it down on his lap.
"Thanks" he finally said, his voice is barely audible but you caught on it. That's the first word he said to you after not seeing you for almost two months.
"I'm washing your clothes right now. It will be a while before it's done and I think the rain wont stop until later at night." You peek your head towards the kitchen, your washing machine whirs in background.
And then silence hit the air. You honestly don't know what to do, it's almost too fast for you. But you need answers, and you are not going to let this go.
So, you finally say those words.
"Why are you here?" Your brows automatically furrows right after you say it.
Abbacchio stares into his cup, blinking a few times as if he's looking for answer but nothing came out, so you pressed him more.
"Did Buccellati send you here?" And that manage to gain his attention, his eyes are now on you. You silently cursed at yourself for being too bold at him. The last thing you wanted to do is to offend him.
"No. Actually, I came here by my own." He answers, you could sense how he tries to hide the shakiness in his voice. Apparently working with him for almost two month is adequate enough to pickup up something's not right with him. You bend your body slightly, facing him.
"Is there anything wrong?" You asked, and his pupil went wide, like a child being caught stealing candies, except the candies were you.
And for the first time since you known him , his speech stutters. All the words he memorize and practice in his head to confess to you disappears into thin air. He cursed at the weather, blaming it for ruining his chance at what he would call "an at least 'decent' confession".
Worried at how distressed he seems, you shakily reached out your hand, placing it on top of his larger hand. It manage to bring him back to reality.
"It's okay. Just take your time." Your lips curls into a small smile, encouraging him to calm his nerves.
Abbacchio returns your grip, now his hand palms yours, fiddling your fingers between his thumb. Now it's your turn to be nervous.
"I know I am a troubled man. And I know I don't deserve you, and this past month i only cause you distress. And in all honesty, I am surprised why am I still here, breathing." He looks down on the floor, trying to hide his glossy eyes from your sight. His words tugged a few strings in your heart. It hurts you to see how much he beats himself down.
"All I cause is pain, pain to everyone i ever get close to, and I don't know why am I here, in front of you right now."
"But," he lifts his head, now peering into your e/c eyes.
"I want to be selfish. I don't wanna let you go. And I want to be better."
His grip on your hands now tightens and you are already shock to know his feelings for you are mutual. All you can do is to open you mouth slightly, trying to process what he just said to you seconds ago.
"So, can we try again?" He shoots a pained smile at you. But even under that circumstances, he still look handsome as ever.
"Abbacchio, I..." you stuttered. That is all you can say, this is too much to process in such a short time.
Abbacchio thought it didn't go well, so he was about to withdraw his hands, before you pulled him into a hug, burying yourself into his shoulder. You could smell him, his hair smells like yours.
"You already trying, that's good."
Your voice sounds muffled but its still clear and his shoulder is relax, thanks to your hand now rubbing his back.
"And I like you too." You finally confessed, hot tears finally rolls down your cheek.
Both of you stays in that position, listening to each other's heartbeats, before you hear beeps coming from the kitchen. You pulled away, wiping away your tears before turning your head towards the kitchen.
"It must be the washing machine, I'll be right back" you announced, but not before placing a soft kiss in his forehead.
You rose from the couch, ready to walk to the kitchen to check on his clothes before he grab your hand, causing you to spin towards him. He is now standing in front of you, your body very close to him.
He tilts your chin, his multi colored eyes now staring into your soul. You now notice how close your nose are, causing your face to turn red. His thumb rest on your chin, slowly rubbing it while his other hand wraps around your waist.
"Y/n, you're too good for me." He whispers, before he dips his head down, finally claiming your lips.
His lips is softer than yours, cushioning your chapped ones. He let out a tiny hum, slightly shifting his head for better angle. He then pulled away, letting you catching your breath, before dipping down and claiming you once again, his hand now nicely wrapped on the back of your neck while his other hand occasionally squeezes your ass. He left a few pecks, each peck longer than before he licked and softly bit your lower lips, asking for permission to taste your mouth. You obliged, parting your lips slightly, letting his tongue slipped into your mouth. You wrapped your arms around his neck, telling him to go deeper. He starts to explore your mouth, his curious tongue traced your teeth and gums, before he found your wet muscle and rubbed it with his, earning a moan from you. You both now starts to fought for dominance, but with Abbacchio being the lead, you stopped. You sucked on his tongue, spilling a groan for him. This continues for a few more seconds before both of you finally pulled away, losing your breath.
Heavy pants echoes in your apartment, not a single word uttered, too busy catching your breath. It then gradually slows down before silence falls inside the house.
"That's amazing." You finally say, your voice still shaky for the kiss but you smiled, nevertheless.
"You're amazing." Abbacchio replies, a soft smile plastered on his face, matching yours. He kissed your forehead and left small peck on your nose before pulling you into his embrace, swaying you back and forth in the middle of the living room.
Maybe his plan does work out in the end, all thanks to the rain.
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