Lover.Hater

The friend you always wanted. The mother you're glad you never had. The sister you deserve.

[thisis-suicidism]

This is ridiculously minor but somebody on reddit posted an "It gets better ❤️" comment on someones post on r/suicidewatch (A response known to be unhelpful and alienating to the suicidal) Their comment got rightfully removed by the mods and the person immediately went to another subreddit and made several posts complaining about the deletion! Saying how the subreddit was just a circlejerk of misery that wanted people to die (Literally!) for, I'd like to say again, a response that does not help people not kill themself! People were in the comments saying how the suicidal were "unstable" and prone to lashing out at "perfectly good advice!" and... I know I'm overreacting over this. But seeing this rhetoric while trying to unwind on a bad day really just compounded the alienation.

This is Suicidism. even if it's minor it's still fair to be upset by it. those are shitty things to say to someone looking for support.

[genderkoolaid]

tbh anon I do not think you are overreacting. i think we should be more critical of people who call others "anti-recovery" for questioning saneist, suicidist presumptions. it really shows how that person's concern for the suicidal seems more about making themself feel good for ~helping lead delusional people back to the light~ than seeing suicidal people as a vulnerable group who you should listen to to figure how to support them.

also calling suicidal people at large "unstable" and their critiques of non-suicidal people "lashing out at perfectly good advice" is quite literally textbook suicidism. and its a dangerous thing to promote. like this is a minor example but its a clear part of the same belief system that justifies forced institutionalization, having one's children taken away, and other forms of psychiatric violence against suicidal people.

[aiglassfruit]

I've heard "the worst thing you can experience is seeing your child in pain" a lot, but I know you're fucking lying because, in the statement itself, you downplayed and diminished your child's pain as less than your own.

[disabled-dyke]

one of the most frustrating things about being disabled and chronically ill is that everyone around you is allowed to be worried or scared for you. but the second you yourself say you’re worried or scared, suddenly it’s “you can’t be so negative, think positively, you might be totally fine in five years”

but i have to placate everyone when they’re telling me multiple times a day that they’re scared for my health??

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Give me less "being kind requires zero effort" and more "being kind is worth the effort it takes."

[aiglassfruit]

It's a petty thing to be annoyed by, but I'm truly over "if you're really old, you'll remember" and it's something that was in regular use until like 2010.

My 21 year old sister remembers VHS tapes and CDs. Please shut the fuck up.

[aiglassfruit]

I love seeing people get dumbass massages and facials with gold leaf and champagne and bullshit. It's so bad out here people are doing fucking magic

[aiglassfruit]

"If parents just disciplined their kids yada yada yada" about kids yelling in public and shit is so weird to me. I don't like being around kids really at all, I'll do a lot to not have to be around them. It's normal for them to be obnoxious; it's not something we gotta beat out of them.

[aiglassfruit]

Also, I don't disagree with the concept of no child areas, but I think everyone would quit crying about it if we instead called everywhere else a "family area" and made them feel special because despite having almost everything built around them, parents feel like they don't get their asses kissed enough.

[aiglassfruit]

"If parents just disciplined their kids yada yada yada" about kids yelling in public and shit is so weird to me. I don't like being around kids really at all, I'll do a lot to not have to be around them. It's normal for them to be obnoxious; it's not something we gotta beat out of them.

[aiglassfruit]

I'm the odd guy out who likes when a tv show is planned to have a short run, and that may be because I'm so into literature and take in the story completely differently from other people.

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[aiglassfruit]

So many dog people talk like they're owed a dog, and I don't get it. Meanwhile, every cat person I know is like "i found him crying in a dumpster and fell in love with him"

[aiglassfruit]

So many dog people talk like they're owed a dog, and I don't get it. Meanwhile, every cat person I know is like "i found him crying in a dumpster and fell in love with him"

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[status-quo-hater]

Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.

He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM

[aiglassfruit]

It's couched in kinda funny language and funny examples, but I have a pretty similar outlook.

I think trying to argue fetuses aren't people or aren't alive or anything like that can get intellectually dishonest. Yeah, they're alive. If people have souls, they have them. They're people. Of course that's my own personal opinion. Some people genuinely don't believe that, but if you think not seeing them as people is a requirement for being pro-choice, that's where it can get into lies a hypocrisy for the sake of politics.

But you're a person with a soul, and you're alive. And I'd never give you a kidney. But there are people who would give you a kidney. I don't have to take on the risk of giving you a kidney if I don't want to, but if I want to give you a kidney to save your life, I can.

I'm allowed to take on risks to my health for others when I want to. I'm allowed to endure the pain I want to for others. I'm allowed to take on risk and pain to save someone's life, but there's only one situation where it's illegal for me to decide I don't want to take on risk and pain for another person.

[aiglassfruit]

Those frozen bricks of rice and meat and a sauce and sometimes beans I keep seeing people make to heat up later look so fucking good. Even in frozen form, that food looks beyond appetizing.

[aiglassfruit]

Trying to force myself to do my quad stretches today yuck

[theadhdgoblin]

[aiglassfruit]

I've always conceptualized myself as rail thin, but Bruno Mars has a song called chunky where he lists off measurements, and they're mine. Hmmm