Psyched

Psychology & Grad School Life.

[aj-elizabeth]

New York State of Mind

I am officially settled on the the opposite side of the country! From California to New York, Rochester will be my home for the next handful of years. Bring on the snow boots and the thick jackets!

It’s going to be an interesting adventure!

[aj-elizabeth]

My Graduation

Finally graduating this year has been an incredible journey!

I have been so very fortunate to have received amazing guidance and mentorship at California State University, Fullerton. I have made lifelong friendships, I have learned many lifelong lessons, and have gotten to know myself better than ever. Then, after a tremendous amount of hard work, I was selected as the Valedictorian and have been given the opportunity to speak at the commencement ceremony. 

I am so proud of being able to share my experience with the world!

[aj-elizabeth]

Late post but...

I FINALLY GRADUATED!

It took a long time, a lot of stress, a LOT of drama towards the finish line, but at the end of the day... I finally made it! 

Thank you, California State University, Fullerton! I will be a Titan forever! 

[aj-elizabeth]

This Year’s Research 

 This year has been plentiful in my work on research. I have been lucky enough to be able to take my whole research team to this year’s Wester Psychology Association Convention, in Sacramento, CA. The trip from Orange County to Sacramento was a long one, but without a doubt it was full of magnificent memories! I have been able to work on three projects this year. However, as always, there was a project that I get most passionate about.

I am so grateful to have been given the freedom to explore topics of sexual assault, which are heartbreaking and frustrating, but at the same time bring out the strongest fighter within me!

I agree that hard work pays off. However, I believe that work will never feel like work when you do what you love. These past three years in my research lab have been definite proof of this! I believe that because of this passion that I have been able to engulf in my work, I have been rewarded time and time again. 

 2017 Outstanding Student Scholarly and Creative Activities Award 

This year I have been named as the sole undergraduate winner of the Humanities & Social Sciences College at the California State University, Fullerton winner being recognized for my work in research. I have worked so hard these past four years, thus it feels amazing to be recognized so many times this year! I can only hope that I can keep this amazing streak going!

[aj-elizabeth]

Women’s History Month

In another proud moment this semester (two months late - so sorry!), I was announced as the very first student recipient of the Women’s History Month HER(d) Award, sponsored by California State University, Fullerton’s WoMen’s Center, and presented by CSUF President, Mildred Garcia. 

The award recognizes “exemplary leadership while demonstrating confidence, patience, compassion, and wisdom.”

CSUF’s mascot, Tuffy the Titan, “reminds us that elephants are herd animals, uniting in what becomes a family. What is unique about these herds, is that they are led by the most revered female of the unit. She is not always the strongest or the most aggressive of the group, but instead leads with wisdom, decisiveness, and compassion.”

I cannot express the gratitude and pride in being considered a “Trailblazing Woman!”

[aj-elizabeth]

“From Poland to SoCal - an American dream continues”

As my undergraduate college career drew to a close this semester, I was lucky and very proud for my story to be featured in the Orange County Register. As mentioned in the story, the last decade took much hard work, and all of it started with a trip to a whole new world!

Please, follow the link to read the full story!

http://www.ocregister.com/2017/04/19/titan-voice-agnieszka-aj-pollard-from-poland-to-socal-an-american-dream-continues/ 

[aj-elizabeth]

Drum roll please...

This Fall, I will be attending the... 

Ph.D. Clinical Psychology Program at the University of Rochester, NY!

I am beyond ecstatic! Out of all of the schools I had applied to and interviewed with, University of Rochester is the only one that made me feel like it was already my home! 

I am very much looking forward to starting this new adventure very soon. I am nervous about the HUGE change. Moving from one coast to the other is not going to be easy, but it is a fantastic challenge which I welcome with arms wide open! 

Goodbye California! New York here I come! 

Meliora... Ever Better!

[aj-elizabeth]

Grad applications are finally in!

All of my grad school applications are finally submitted. I have to say - this was the most nerve wrecking experience of my life thus far. From taking the GRE to writing my statements of purpose to the actual applications themselves, it has been nothing but a stressful process. I am so relieved that it is finally over! Granted, I'm still waiting for my letters of recommendation to be submitted, but that is all out of my control now. 

Now that the application process is over, finals are around the corner, but after this month I feel a slightly invincible. It's like finals are nothing compared to what just happened!

What I learned in the process

Start early! 

I had plenty of time to complete everything on time, and had enough time for my professors to submit letters of recommendation. However, websites and systems can fail. I submitted all of my applications a little over a week before the deadline, but being a holiday weekend (Thanksgiving), there seemed to be a lag or a glitch in one of the programs’ systems. Because of this I am unable to log in and add contact info for my letters of rec. Then 6 days later my application is still not coming up in the program’s system, and the deadline is in 2 days! So saying that I am very nervous is a big understatement right about now! If I had started at least a week earlier, I might not have had this issue. 

Oh well - lesson learned! Although I am anxious about not knowing whether my application will go through, I’m not going to dwell on it because there is so much more coming around the corner!

Next stop - INTERVIEWS!

[aj-elizabeth]

College & Working Full Time

College can be tough, but it is even more difficult when students have to work their way though college. It is so stressful to have to divide time between being at school, doing school work, going to work to pay bills, sleeping, relaxing for just a moment, and then maybe, maybe having a social life. College is tough as it is, but the delicate balancing act just adds to the tension and anxiety. 

I know what so many people do not see in the working students. I know what it is like to want to dedicate every minute of your day to making your dream happen. I know how much effort and time it takes to be in two places at once. I am lucky enough to have a stable job that gives me enough liberty to set a work schedule that is flexible around my school needs. But I also get to hear the jokes coming from my coworkers: “Oh, you still work here?” or “You never work, do you just watch Netflix all day?” I do realize that these are lighthearted jokes, but I feel that they add to the strain that is already present between school and work lives. There is so much pressure to fulfill both parts of our lives. I mean - do I work towards a career that will give me a better life in the future, or do I work to pay bills and sustain myself right now? It is tremendously difficult. 

So with this post I want to toast all of the students who take on a full time school load, intern, volunteer, tutor, TA, do research, and work all at the same time. (I’ll sleep when I’m dead! 😆)

Our efforts, our hard work, and our sweat and tears will all pay off soon!

P.S. The picture in this post is the spectacular view that I get to stare at every weekend while I’m at work! 

[aj-elizabeth]

GRE’s... Graduate Record Examinations aka Grad School SAT’s 

Psychology is one of those areas where working in the field requires graduate school training, and unfortunately for us students, most grad programs require GRE scores. So during the summer I am tackled the GRE exam. 

Everyone who has taken the GRE probably has a piece of advice for how to effectively study for that dreaded day. The one thing I kept hearing from everyone is - “Take practice tests as much as possible.”

I studied and took practice tests. A lot. But if I were to do it over, I would have done it a little differently. 

Verbal Section

I was recommended to predominantly focus on studying common roots, prefixes, and suffixes. That may be a great piece of advice in general, but I feel it may have been more effective for native English speakers. I memorized all of the roots, prefixes and suffixes, but in reality when I actually took the test, my mind reverted to my native Polish roots. When I tried to break down the words, I kept getting mixed up between the two languages. So for me this method was counterproductive. 

A more successful way for me to tackle this section was taking words as a whole, focusing on their definitions rather than breaking down their composition. What I found to be most productive was learning actual words through phone applications, such as Magoosh. I wish I had used the apps from the very beginning rather than memorizing roots, maybe then I would have improved my score more drastically. 

Quantitive Section

The quantitive section was a whole another ball game! I took a GRE prep course which was helpful in reminding me how to work through math problems. Within the course, the instructor advised the class to study just that... i.e. “Learn to to work through problem, and you will be set.” Well... That didn't happen. 😑

I personally love math. Math has always been one of my strengths and favorite subjects, so during practice tests I was able to work through almost all problems. However, this did not happen during the test. I realized that although I can physically do the math that the test asked me to do, I did not have the appropriate time to do it in. So instead of practicing working through the problem, I should have studied tricks on how to skip steps in order to arrive at the answer quicker, doing as little actual math as possible. 

My Advice

In the end, what’s done is done. I wish I had studied a little differently, but my lesson learned is now advice to pass on. So if I can leave someone with three pieces of advice, these are it:

Take lots of practice tests! Familiarizing yourself with the exam can lower anxiety during the real thing. 

Verbal section - use apps to study words. My favorite was “Magoosh GRE Vocabulary.” It became addicting very fast, and now that my GRE is done, I actually want to keep learning new words!

Quantitive section - Google tricks! Yes, learn how to work through problems, but find GRE tricks too! They will shave off time on a lot of problems. I mean, that’s not cheating, right? 😇

Good luck! 

[aj-elizabeth]

Association for Psychological Sciences 2016 Conference in Chicago

First things first... APS was AMAZING!!! Having presented my research at other conferences, I can honestly say that I have never felt more in my element than when I presented my research at APS. Although the poster session took an hour, I was alone for only 5 of the first minutes, while setting up. There were literally groups of people at all times, curious all about my work, asking many, MANY questions, posing ideas for future research, and just showing tremendous interest! I have never been more proud of my work. It felt like I was finally where I was meant to be! People were ecstatic to hear about my work! I cannot even wrap my words around all of the emotions that I felt during the presentation. If this is a preview of what my work will be like during and after my doctorate, then my dreams will definitely come true! 

Tours of Chicago

This was my first time visiting Chicago, and I can easily say that I fell in love with the city immediately. Chicago is so full of life! There is so much to do and even more to see! I really wish I had been able to spend an extra week or two there because, although I toured everyday, I know there was still so much that I did not get a chance to see. Also, it doesn't hurt that the landscape is breathtaking from almost every corner of the city! 

Overall, I feel that my trip was extremely successful. I relaxed, I got to visit a new city, and most importantly, I was able to share my hard work with people who appreciated it and truly wanted to learn more about it. Not that I ever questioned it, but this trip definitely solidified my love for psychological research, and my aspirations for a research career. It showed me that I am definitely on the right path!

[aj-elizabeth]

Grad School Selections

“Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.”

It is 2 in the morning, I have “How I Met Your Mother” playing in the background, and somehow I don’t feel tired at all because my obsession with the grad school search is keeping me full of energy! Although I know that I have so much to get done (like catching up on all of my posts!), I just can’t help but to keep looking at more and more schools. This is mainly because there are so many excellent programs out there, and the faculty are doing amazing things! My list keeps getting longer and longer by the minute, and it feels like half are my “top choice.” 

So now comes the hard part. Now I have to decide “what do I want?” and “where do I see myself in 6 years, at the end of my doctorate.” Finding and choosing the right grad school program can be difficult and overwhelming. I tend to be very organized when it comes to academic things, so I have developed a system that has been successful so far. Quite a few of my friends and fellow psychology students have expressed their difficulties with this task, so I decided that should share my information because I figured that sharing my system might actually help someone who is struggling at this moment. The system I have developed is a little time consuming, but I believe that if I will spend 5 years working on a degree, then the selection of the program definitely deserves the time that it requires. 

My Grad Program Selection System

I have found a variety of webpages that have helped me though my grad program search. The first page that always helps me start my search is the “Best Grad Schools Rankings” by U.S. News & World Report.

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-health-schools/clinical-psychology-rankings

The purpose of the list is to rank the programs, but I personally use it because it conveniently lists a large (LARGE!!) number of psychology programs. My search is more specific to Clinical & Health Psychology programs, but there are options for other programs as well (i.e. forensic, behavioral, etc.). There is also an option to restrict your search to either a particular state or a general area (i.e. west coast, east coast, etc.). I myself am very open to any location so I do not utilize this option, but I understand that many students might have specific preferences. It sounds like almost too much when I say it out loud, but I literally went through each school listed, and explored each individual program. The long list seems overwhelming at first, but keep at it! 

When I am on a school website there is a multiple step process that I go through:

Program Overview - First I find the degrees offered by the department. (i.e. Ph.D. vs. Psy.D. vs. Master’s). If I find the one I am looking for, I continue to the the next step. If I do not find one suited to my goals, I go on to the next school on the ranking list. 

Program Concentration - Although my general interest is in Clinical Psychology, I am also open to programs in Health and Social Psychology, and some Clinical programs even have concentrations in those fields as well, so it’s a good factor to check out. 

Faculty Research - This is probably the most important step for my own search. It is so crucial to find faculty whose research aligns with your own interests. I mean, if you spend 5 years doing something, it would probably be easier if you love, or at least enjoy it! My interests are very specific to research in human sexuality, but unfortunately there aren’t large numbers of faculty with same interests. So this step is where most of the schools are filtered out on my own list. If I find faculty sharing my interests, (I also take note of the faculty publications that interest me most - this helps me organize my order of program importance later) I add the school to my list and go on to the next steps for extra information. 

Tuition and Financial Assistance - Grad school is very expensive and a lot of programs offer assistance if you teach or conduct research for the department. Some schools offer tuition remission even for out of state students, so it’s important to know how much assistance you might need. 

Student Admissions, Outcomes, and Other Data - This page contains specific information on tuition costs, attrition and licensure rates. For me the most important part of this page is the information about GRE scores. The data sheet can show you the average scores of students who have been accepted to the program in each previous year. This information is really helpful to know because it can give you a general idea of where you need to score on the test. I know that acceptance is not dependent on just the GRE score alone, but at least it will help you know how you compare against other students and whether you risk being screened out  - pretty much just shows you your chances!

Finally… My List!

To keep myself organized, I made an actual document for my grad school search, and here is what I include as I go through each school listed on the ranking list:

School name and location

Application deadline

GRE scores

Program link and description

Faculty name, research description, previous publication titles, email address, and link to his/her webpage

Tuition information and description

All of this might sound like too much, but I find that having all of this information is really helpful when you have to choose between each program on your list. 

And Then The Next Step!

The GRE test! As I mentioned earlier, low GRE scores can screen out even the most capable applicant. So I am definitely nervous! I’ve been studying almost every day, and I know I will be fine, but the magnitude of GRE’s importance in the application process brings a tingle to my stomach. Call me nerdy - but I love the pressure! I love having to push myself further and further because I know I will come out stronger afterwards, and whatever happens is really meant to be.

So for now sleep. 

Tomorrow more grad school searches. 

End of the summer will bring the GRE’s. 

Then let destiny do its thing!

[aj-elizabeth]

Finals Are Finally Over!

I don’t know about anyone else, but this academic year has gone by way too fast for me. So much has already happened, and I see no signs of slowing down. This year I have created two studies from scratch, created two solo and two team conference posers, lived up to my research advisor’s exceedingly high standards, and managed to win multiple awards and grants in the mean time! I am very proud to say that this year I was lucky enough to receive a Joann Bannock Travel Award to help me go to a research conference, and most importantly, I received the Applied Psychology Award honoring my community work and commitment while applying psychological theories. I was the only undergraduate student in the entire CSUF Psychology Department to receive two awards at the same time (this year at least), so not to toot my own horn, but you know… “toot-toot!” 😍😎

All semester I have kept saying that I could not wait for the summer, thinking that I would have a little bit of a break. But then I went ahead and made another long list of plans for these short two months. And that’s alright, because I know I do well under pressure. First and foremost, during the semester I will be working on my first publication manual (if my advisor and I have enough time - two manuals! - yes, I’m an uber nerd so I’m super excited!). Then in addition to making sure my research lab is all prepped with our new studies and ready for the new semester, I will be taking a GRE prep class at CSUF in addition to a million Kaplan practice tests, and then I will actually take the test - among other million things! But really, the summer is still a week and a half away! APS in Chicago first! 😂 

Anyway… So finals came and went. When I think about it now, I feel that this was my easiest semester when it comes to finals. Could have been worse, but I really  didn’t feel as stressed as I did during the semester itself. It almost felt like the professors took it easy on my classes, so lucky me!

Now that finals are over, honestly - I don’t know what to do with myself for that free day or two. I feel like I always need to do things. Almost as if I’m not living up to my potential if I don’t have something to get done. I know that my body needs me to take a break, and people keep telling me that I need to slow down, even if it’s just for a moment. I feel a little ridiculous saying it, but I feel so restless when I have nothing planned! I can take a break, but if I know that I have nothing on my agenda then I will absolutely set something up for myself. It doesn’t matter if it’s something as simple as reading a new book (which I would totally love!), but I just need to know I’m getting things done. When I think about it, it is definitely a great thing that I crave productivity, but I need to learn how to stop and take a breather. 

[aj-elizabeth]

WPA aka “Western Psychological Association Convention”

The 2016 WPA came and went. Another great experience. This year I got to present two projects (another two coming up for the APS 😍). It was fun, and it was exciting. I got to meet Phillip Zimbardo! Mr. Stanford-Prison-Experiment himself! Yes, it was my second time meeting him, but it was still pretty freaking awesome! Also, yes, I was a creeper when I took that picture, but to be honest, I was just pretending to be too cool - all “I don't need to take a pic with Philip Zimbardo” when he took pictures with the fans. Well, that didn’t last!

Yes, it was a great time. I was so grateful to have extremely positive reactions to my research! At the HSS Symposium (see my previous post  😉) I ran into many fearful reactions. This time around, however, everyone loved it! I had so many people complementing my work, and asking me to email my findings! I was so happy to hear the positive thoughts surrounding the work that I have given so much sweat and tears. It felt like a climax the such a long build up and tension. It was amazing, and such a relief. 

Every time someone asked me about the WPA, this was exactly what I told them. In all reality, I am so proud of my research! I love what I do, and I absolutely cannot wait to do this for a living! However, the one thing that stood out the most to me was my lab team. The social aspect, and the sense of togetherness was what really stood out to me. I mean, my research means everything. It means the world to me! But having people to share it with, people who have not only gone through the whole process with me, but actually know what I mean, and who think my thoughts before I say them out loud. That’s just something else! It may be the extrovert inside me talking, but I adore the social interaction, and the team connection means so much to me. Here I go with the social support again! 

[poems-and-words]

[aj-elizabeth]

Self-Care!

“The smallest things things take the most room in your heart.“ 

Although this may have be intended as an endearing quote, to me it represents the importance of self-care and the burden of anxiety. It’s sometimes difficult for psychology professionals to open up. We are taught to keep our professional mask on and to help others, but this perspective sometimes makes us forget to take care of ourselves. We put others first, so things just keep piling on our mind. 

It may be something small, but if you hold a small object in your hands for too long, your fingers, your hand, your arm, your entire body will go numb. How can we live while feeling nothing but numbness? We cannot survive though that intense emotion, and let alone help anyone though their time of need! You can’t fix others, if you’re not whole yourself. 

From my own experience, I have so much on my plate. I feel like all of my days revolve around trying to get into grad schools. I always want to get as much done as humanely possible, and even more. Yes, I feel like I lose my mind, and I want to rip my hair out sometimes. But I have a glass of wine and I talk to my person (or three people - I’m lucky ❤️). I get my worries out, and I feel better again!

We tell our patients to get their feelings and all of the weight off their shoulders, but we don’t always practice what we preach. So find a way to get things off your chest! It does not matter if you talk to your best friend, significant other, or even your dog. Just get things out. I know some people like to get their stress relief through exercise at the gym, dancing, singing, etc., but I still think talking things out is important. Every word is like a pair of wings making your mind a little lighter. Find your wings. Get things off your chest. Talk!

[focusedandfearless]

[aj-elizabeth]

Sounds about right! I wish I could say that I hate it, but I love stats, so... ❤️

[aj-elizabeth]

Humanities & Social Sciences Research Symposium

Earlier this week I was given the pleasure of presenting one of my research posters at the Inaugural Research Symposium for the College of Humanities & Social Sciences at California State University, Fullerton. This poster, titled “College Sexual Experience and Rape Victim Perception,” is actually meant to be presented at the Western Psychological Association conference in Long Beach on April 30th, so I will post more detailed information, along with the poster itself, after the conference. I thought that this experience would be a nice trial run, but interestingly enough, I feel that the whole experience turned out to be almost like a research experiment in itself. 

Sexual Assault Research

This was my first time presenting research on the topic of sexual assault. Human sexuality and sexual aggression is something that I am passionate about, and it is what I want my career to revolve around, so I am so elated that I can actually conduct research on it. I have studied the topic extensively, so I am very aware of the stigma and controversy that is associated with sexual assault, but I think my passion sometimes allows me to forget how untouchable this topic truly is. 

I tend to be very observant without meaning to, so I noticed the behavior patterns of the symposium’s non-presenting visitors attending the event. These visitors stopped by every single poster to hear at least a one sentence sum up of the research presented. Visitors had extra motivation to hear about numerous researches because for every poster they visited, they received an extra raffle ticket for a prize. Unfortunately, what I also noticed was that while all these people went from poster to poster, when they arrived at my poster, they had reactions that threw me for loop. I may have paid a little too much attention, but I noticed that almost everyone who came up to my poster had the same reaction: the people looked at me, smiled and said hi, glanced at the pictures on my poster, revealed a confused look on their face, read the poster title, changed their expression from confused to scared and uncomfortable, and then walked away (actually almost ran) without a word. 

I have worked extremely hard on my research. So at first I felt somewhat hurt by their reactions, unnecessarily taking them personally. Then I realized the much more unfortunate reality of the stigma associated with sexual assault. Rape is an extremely traumatizing experience, so it is terrifying for those untouched by it to even think about. It is so uncomfortable that people don’t want talk or read about it. Rape is a dreadful topic as it is, but college campus rape is so much more real for college students. It is much easier to walk away and pretend that such horrific experiences could not happen at our campus. But campus rape will keep happening, no matter how much people attempt ignore it. 

This might seem a little over the top, but the selective ignorance is exactly why everyone needs to keep being reminded of the reality. Although it might not do much, I will continue presenting my research on sexual assault. Hopefully, the attitudes that I encountered at the HSS Research Symposium were just the result of the particular audience. The symposium consisted of research conducted by students of the whole Humanities and Social Sciences college. I can imagine why someone from Environmental Studies or Modern Languages & Literature majors would not express great enthusiasm towards sexual assault research. So I have faith that when I present my posters at WPA and APS (Association for Psychological Sciences) conferences, the professionals of this field will be more positively responsive to my research.

If you or a loved one have been a victim of sexual assault, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, or go to RAINN.org, for help, resources, and support.