GREY MATTER

[ajransome]

SO THE STORY GOES...

EARLY LIFE 

Raised by a single mother, Mari, who suffered from various mental and physical illnesses.

Mari claimed that A.J.’s father is a pureblood wizard and will eventually come for them. A.J. does not know who their father is and doesn’t care, because they believe the man raped Mari. 

Mari’s illnesses prevented her from working, so A.J. began smuggling goods across the country at the age of 13 because no one would pay attention to a child. This afforded them the ability to put food on the table, and so they don’t regret any wrongdoings. 

Mari passed away in the fall of 1974 leaving A.J. alone. The Diggorys offered for A.J. to live with them through primary school graduation and during holidays eventually at Hogwarts. 

A.J. graduated from Hogwarts and began their residency at St. Mungo’s, which they soon realized was not well suited. They love the study of human anatomy, but their bedside manner left much to be desired. 

1980

To make extra money, A.J. took smuggling jobs here and there. Their luck nearly run out in early June when an operation was busted by law enforcement. A.J. managed to evade capture, although they had to give themself stitches on the floor of Cleo’s flat.

In early July 1980, the Investigation Office in the DMLE invited A.J. to interview for a Medical Examiner position—which they were officially given in mid-July. 

After the Statute fell, A.J. found themself working long hours and pulled onto complicated cases. Including a serial killer who began killing in November. 

A.J. friend and consistent hookup buddy went missing in November—and they slept with Cleo soon after this happened. They feel pretty guilty about it, enough to have avoided Cleo like the plague for weeks. Until she arrived at their door needing stitches. 

KISS & TELL

1980

March - October / Rebel Farley / friends with benefits

7 November / Cleo Nguyen / one night stand

[ajransome]

REMUS LUPIN.

“I’ve been worse, believe it or not,” Remus replied sardonically. Not finding fault in the curiosity. He simply lacked the ability to offer up anything more than the vague lies he told most people. That he was sick, and had been for most of his life. That he had days where he was simply just exhausted. Where his entire body ached and there was nothing to be done for it. “It’s almost better out here, with the cold.” Or worse. It was hard to properly say when Remus had never been in this exact position before.

He drank more, already feeling the additional nausea wave over him. Mistake. Most definitely a mistake.

A.J. cleared their throat. “I’m a healer.” It wasn’t fully a lie, but the details hardly mattered. Their gaze narrowed, brows furrowed. “Were you feeling ill prior to this—” Nightmare of a situation, they nearly said. One day, this would make for a decent laugh and unbelievable story. A.J. wished they could jump through time and arrive at that point, skipping over the trauma. 

[ajransome]

TED TONKS.

“The one that’s set up camp in Cardiff?” Ted asked brightly, as if they were discussing something far more pleasant. “They’re definitely a cult, right? I mean, I know they call themselves a church, but that can’t be real.” And in all fairness, Ted didn’t really know what they were about, just that they seemed to crop up around the same time the statute fell. 

A.J. nodded. “Probably.” He was skeptical of any organized faith, in general; but—this certainly felt cult-y. “Seems like people are coming in droves for him.” A.J. refused to say Holy Sorcerer on account of the fact he found it utterly comical. “Cleo fucking hates it.” It was only once her name left his lips that A.J. realized how little he talked about her. For whatever reason, he liked keeping pockets of his life separate. 

[ajransome]

REMUS LUPIN.

Remus looked up and wanted to vomit at the mere sight of alcohol. And yet, what did he do? He took the bottle. He took it knowing that whatever he felt while drinking it couldn’t be worse than how he felt now. His entire body cramping. Shutting down in horrible and unexpected ways. Somehow Remus managed to both be blistering hot and horribly cold in the middle of the ocean, and there was nothing to be done for it.

Had he been home, with his friends, they would have already been crowding him. Making sure that he was comfortable, and cared for. That his favorite blanket was draped around his shoulders, and that Doris knew he wasn’t up for visitors. Here, he only had a mostly drunk bottle of vodka, and no hope of escape. 

Fear was what plagued him the most. What if they were there for another night? He didn’t even know if he could swim as a Werewolf. Could Werewolves fucking swim? “This is a really poor idea.” And he drank the contents anyway, not bothering to wince, because the aches and chills were already worse.

Curiosity sunk its claws into A.J., begging them to inspect. Months passed since they last stepped foot in St. Mungos, and yet they couldn’t put away the healer lens. The intense, desperate need to investigate. To understand. To fix. Dark eyes roamed the other person, taking in each micro-movement, every tremor. “You alright?” Beyond the obvious abysmal circumstances, of course. There was a request for permission riddled somewhere in A.J.’s question. An inquiry if they were allowed to inspect further—despite already doing so. 

[ajransome]

REMUS LUPIN.

WHEN: Saturday, 19 March, 1981; afternoon  WHERE: Ballycastle Ferry, Ireland  WHO: A.J. Runcorn & Remus Lupin ​

The timing couldn’t have been worse. No, truly, the gods, if they existed at all, had to be laughing. Or, at the very least, they were amused with what they had created in terms of chaos down below. Remus wasn’t a religious man. He wasn’t even superstitious. He was, however, consistently unlucky in many areas of his life, including, first and foremost, the night he was turned into a werewolf.

Normally that sort of thing could be held closer to his chest, away from prying and curious eyes. Today, after over two days of being trapped on a ferry in the middle of the sea, he was barely holding it together. Weariness was overcoming him, and without his friends near, all of the strength that he had gathered felt as though it was drifting out in the ocean that was holding them all hostage.

He was sitting. More laying, than anything else. A horrible cold tearing through him, and it had nothing to do with the ice, or the breeze. Just in his bones. The feeling he got the day before every transformation. Each painful, brutal one. “Why me?” Remus asked quietly into the sky above, as if assuming he might get an answer this time.

When A.J. first learned of their entrapment, they laughed grimly. A sardonic noise as memories came to mind, of conversing with Ted and feeling grateful that they didn’t find themself in such a precarious position. Their luck ran out though, clearly. Given the chill that ripped through their body despite the warming charm they magicked into their clothing for the third time since A.J. found themself stuck off the coast of Ballycastle. 

Eyes as deep blue as the icy water searched the ship, wondering if by the time someone bothered to rescue them, would A.J. be the one to take their bodies back to the Ministry? Declare the obvious as their reason for death. Only, they supposed, if they were lucky enough to survive. They reached into their pocket for a flask, only a few splashes of cheap vodka remaining. After taking a swig, they offered it to someone who looked as though they needed it more than them. 

“You can have the rest.” 

[ajransome]

TED TONKS.

Ted took the beer from his friend. “Speaking of getting caught up– how’s that medical examiner thing going?” he asked.  “Do you get to see loads of weird stuff?” Ted sometimes thought he might have made a good investigator. The challenges of putting together that kind of puzzle might have been something he could have been good at, but the idea of having to deal with blood and other sorts of disgusting scenarios had always been a dealbreaker. Even when Nymphadora had been. young, he had been queasy at any kind of sickness or injury.

When the question met A.J.’s ears, he took a large swig of beer. Anything to numb the visuals that left him queasy more often than he cared to admit. “Weird is an understatement.” And he would leave it at that. No one deserved to know these horrors. In many ways, it was precisely why A.J. was perfect for the role. He could hoard the visuals, keep those memories buried within himself until he, too, was gone from this earth. He decided to switch the topic to something else entirely, albeit still nauseating—a different kind of nauseating. 

“Have you heard much about that church?”  

[ajransome]

NARI GREENGRASS.

“I’m not meant to tell you what to do with your liquid luck, but please don’t use it all making sandwiches. I’m begging you.” Except she wouldn’t actually care if that’s what their decision was in the end. All Nari truly cared about was their happiness, and as their friend, should that be a future in unique sandwich making, she’d be more than just supportive. “Come on, now I’m really famished.”

[ fin ]

[ajransome]

TED TONKS.

Ted went ahead and accepted the invitation, moving inside. “Now, that’s just unreasonable. Not worried that you’ll be caught up in something, are you?”

“I’m always on the brink of getting caught up with something, that’s the problem.” A.J. reached into the refrigerator to grab two beers, handing one over to Ted.

[ajransome]

NARI GREENGRASS.

Nari bumped shoulders with them. A quiet reminder that she was there, listening. It was the comfort that had become easy between co-workers, though that word seemed too loose for what they were. She doubted A.J. was this open with just anyone in the department. “It’s nice, isn’t it, the way people show love. Sometimes it’s never as straightforward as we want, but it exists all the same.”

And for them, their love was shared in Ministry hallways. Over sandwiches in the cafeteria that were fairly horrible, to tell anyone the truth. Maybe the words would never be spoken aloud, but Nari never once doubted their friendship, and never would. “You’ll have to teach me. That sounds like the sort of thing that’s meant to be passed on.”

A.J. nodded, feeling a tinge of warmth radiate across their body. The sensation came whenever they thought of their mother. “I think people show love in the only way they know how.” It took a long time for them to come to that realization. That their mother was different, and as her communication skills deteriorated before her death, she fought for ways to show her love. And A.J. felt that. They still did, even in her death. 

“I’ll need to teach myself again. It’s been... Years, I think.” A long time pressed on their own survival, making it from one moment to the next. But maybe, after all this time, A.J. finally deserved peace. 

[ajransome]

TED TONKS.

“No, I did get away relatively unscathed,” nodded Ted as he ran a hand over his eyebrows as if he had to check they were, indeed, still there. “Although, there was a moment where I did cut it close and I’m pretty sure my left arm will never grow a single hair ever again.” He held up his arm. 

“And now they’re talking about an earthquake that’s got people scrambling.”

A.J.’s eyes shifted to the arm in question. He fought back the urge to inspect it himself, to ensure everything was properly healed. Instead, reluctantly, he trusted that if Ted needed to see a healer, he would. “It only means one thing.” A.J. gestured for his friend to come inside. 

“I’m never leaving this flat again.” 

[ajransome]

NARI GREENGRASS.

“Huh.” That might’ve been the most surprising thing about them yet. Nari was just pleased that they saw a future for themselves either way. “I think you’d make for an excellent parent. Not better than me, mind you, but still good.”

For whatever reason, that made A.J. itchy. Perhaps it was why he never got much further than toying with the idea. Parenting was easier said than done. “Before she got really sick, my mum used to shape my food look like animals. Twist my sandwiches around to look like snails. Toast that looked like turtles. Must have takes her long to do it, but she loved it.” And A.J. loved it, too. Until their mother started to get too sick and frustrated with her growing limitations. So then A.J. pretended to hate it, calling it embarrassing and childish, begging her to stop. She did, and to this day they wondered if their actions were wrong. If they took away parts of life she loved in order to make a growing illness easier to handle. There was no way to know the right answer; it was probably why the question still troubled A.J. 

[ajransome]

WHEN: Sunday, 6 March, 1981; afternoon  WHERE: No. 13 The Commons, Cardiff  WHO: A.J. Ransome & Ted Tonks ( @tonkstedtalk​ )

“Your eyebrows aren’t singed off,” A.J. greeted his friend with a distant voice, but it was anything but uncaring. Worried, nervous, relieved. Those were words that better described the feelings bubbling within him. But that was the thing about friendship; sometimes, he wondered if Ted understood him better than he understood himself. 

[ajransome]

NARI GREENGRASS.

Now that was a revelation. “Do you want kids?” Nari prodded, seeing the opening and doing her best to dive head first into it. A.J. wasn’t forthcoming about anything, which meant any opportunity to pry information loose had to be taken seriously and without hesitation.

A.J. shrugged. “Maybe.” They had considered it, of course. Just never landed on a definite answer. 

[ajransome]

NARI GREENGRASS.

“You didn’t even ask me to sing her song for you. It’s pretty good, don’t get me wrong. I mean, it won’t be winning any awards, but I think you should appreciate the effort.” No one was singing any songs about her. Nari threw her hands up all the same. “Five children? I think you should settle for two. Much more believable that way. No one would ever think you to be a five children sort of person.”

“Please don’t sing the song. I will off myself if you do.” And really, they would do just about anything to avoid hearing it—like a cat dodging a bathtub filled with water. “Fuck off. I could have five children if I wanted.” 

[ajransome]

NARI GREENGRASS.

“Excellent timing. I was hoping you’d say that. Hurry it up, Ransome. Before Eliza over there starts her Handsome Ransome song. I think she might be a bit in love with you, now that I think on it.” Nari had already begun to glide happily away.

“It’s like you’re trying to get me to vomit,” A.J. groaned as they reached for their coat, mended more times than they could count. “You’re going to start spreading a rumor that I’m married with five children and a dog, living in a lush home in Brighton. Since she can’t take the hint, we’re going to crush her with gossip.” 

[ajransome]

NARI GREENGRASS.

“If you stopped being so completely amusing all of the time, maybe I would’ve quit by now.” That was a lie. Nari made it her business to befriend everyone. Only a few of those friendships ever really stuck, and for good reason, too. Not everyone was worth getting close to. “You only have yourself to blame.”

“If only I wasn’t so chatty and personable.” A.J. smiled wryly, then paused for a beat. “I’m going to take my lunch.” It was an invite for her to join. 

[ajransome]

CHE-WEI GOYLE.

“Another thing to add to the list,” he had Benny lament with a shake of the head as Che-Wei committed these facts to memory. The next time he saw A.J.—and there would be a next time, he was playing the long game—he’d have an appropriately healed wound to iron out the details he had made a mess of today. “I’d better get going. We can only hope the roadblock has cleared by now.” Two drinks should have been enough time, but there was no telling in Cardiff how long a row could last. “Drinks on me next time we cross paths?”

A.J. wouldn’t push them to St. Mungo’s. In fact, they didn’t push anyone to do anything. Everyone held their fate in their own hands. That, A.J. believed. They nodded in response. “If I ever turn down a free drink, assume I’m fucked in the head.” 

[ fin ]