howl at the moon

remus lupin werewolf magical theory student

[bulgaelupin]

♦ about ♦

age: 20 relationship status: single education: siren school ‘78 / hogwarts ‘81 occupation: full-time student

♦ recap ♦

Keeping a secret is hard. Keeping a secret from your three best friends is harder. Remus wasn’t sure how he was going to enter his second year of school and keep up the ruse that he had thought he perfected. How was he to know that he’d meet people like James, Sirius, and Peter? No one could have foretold them finding each other. Nor could anyone have guessed that Remus’ secret would be out before their second year was over.

Remus flew wildly between elation and terror at the knowledge that his friends knew he was a werewolf. Most days it brought him nothing but joy to understand that this was something he could share freely with them. No more hiding. No more half-truths. In the back of his mind, however, he’s always wondering when the shoe might drop.

Among all of the chaos, and the transformations, and the hectic schedule of a Prefect, Remus found that there was more to life than books and studying. Whether he’s helping to plot the next prank, or spending a little too long staring at Doris Purkiss, Remus has learned that life is worth living.

The latest task in making life a little easier is watching his friends work to become Animagi. While he can’t go through the process with them, he is doing everything in his power to research, prepare, and help them along if this is something they’re truly serious about doing.

Over the summer he hopes to land a job, and while he knows that being a werewolf complicates things, summer jobs are notorious for being flimsy enough to let something like that slide. Right?

♦ dating history ♦

n/a

[bulgaelupin]

ajransome​:

A.J. cleared their throat. “I’m a healer.” It wasn’t fully a lie, but the details hardly mattered. Their gaze narrowed, brows furrowed. “Were you feeling ill prior to this—” Nightmare of a situation, they nearly said. One day, this would make for a decent laugh and unbelievable story. A.J. wished they could jump through time and arrive at that point, skipping over the trauma. 

.

“Oh, I always feel like this. Since I was 5, actually. Not consistently, just on and off. It’s the kind of thing you mostly get used to. Feeling miserable.” Something he wouldn’t wish on anyone, but given how much he loved the other people in his life, he was happy to bear it so someone else might have to. Though today, with the whipping winds and chill in the air, his aching bones might have enjoyed a reprieve.

[bulgaelupin]

eleven

11. dream blunt rotation

I'm not even going to bother asking who asked this question, because we all know how obvious it is. (Wormtail, shouldn't you be studying right now?)

Carrie Fisher. Dumbledore. Elizabeth Taylor. Jackie Chan.

Do I have to describe why for each one? Because I can. The most important thing you should know is that I'm a little obsessed with all of them (Yes, even Dumbledore, but that's, you know, a longer more complicated story and likely a bit pathetic to tell you the truth). Don't tell Doris, but I'm a little in love with Carrie Fisher and Elizabeth Taylor, and I wish I was half as cool as Jackie Chan. I mean really? How is he a real person? Bruce Lee wouldn't be brilliant, too, I'd never pass him over, either.

[bulgaelupin]

ajransome​:

Curiosity sunk its claws into A.J., begging them to inspect. Months passed since they last stepped foot in St. Mungos, and yet they couldn’t put away the healer lens. The intense, desperate need to investigate. To understand. To fix. Dark eyes roamed the other person, taking in each micro-movement, every tremor. “You alright?” Beyond the obvious abysmal circumstances, of course. There was a request for permission riddled somewhere in A.J.’s question. An inquiry if they were allowed to inspect further—despite already doing so. 

.

“I’ve been worse, believe it or not,” Remus replied sardonically. Not finding fault in the curiosity. He simply lacked the ability to offer up anything more than the vague lies he told most people. That he was sick, and had been for most of his life. That he had days where he was simply just exhausted. Where his entire body ached and there was nothing to be done for it. “It’s almost better out here, with the cold.” Or worse. It was hard to properly say when Remus had never been in this exact position before.

He drank more, already feeling the additional nausea wave over him. Mistake. Most definitely a mistake.

[bulgaelupin]

ajransome​:

When A.J. first learned of their entrapment, they laughed grimly. A sardonic noise as memories came to mind, of conversing with Ted and feeling grateful that they didn’t find themself in such a precarious position. Their luck ran out though, clearly. Given the chill that ripped through their body despite the warming charm they magicked into their clothing for the third time since A.J. found themself stuck off the coast of Ballycastle. 

Eyes as deep blue as the icy water searched the ship, wondering if by the time someone bothered to rescue them, would A.J. be the one to take their bodies back to the Ministry? Declare the obvious as their reason for death. Only, they supposed, if they were lucky enough to survive. They reached into their pocket for a flask, only a few splashes of cheap vodka remaining. After taking a swig, they offered it to someone who looked as though they needed it more than them. 

“You can have the rest.” 

.

Remus looked up and wanted to vomit at the mere sight of alcohol. And yet, what did he do? He took the bottle. He took it knowing that whatever he felt while drinking it couldn’t be worse than how he felt now. His entire body cramping. Shutting down in horrible and unexpected ways. Somehow Remus managed to both be blistering hot and horribly cold in the middle of the ocean, and there was nothing to be done for it.

Had he been home, with his friends, they would have already been crowding him. Making sure that he was comfortable, and cared for. That his favorite blanket was draped around his shoulders, and that Doris knew he wasn’t up for visitors. Here, he only had a mostly drunk bottle of vodka, and no hope of escape. 

Fear was what plagued him the most. What if they were there for another night? He didn’t even know if he could swim as a Werewolf. Could Werewolves fucking swim? “This is a really poor idea.” And he drank the contents anyway, not bothering to wince, because the aches and chills were already worse.

[bulgaelupin]

jamesdeer​:

“Oi, why would I need two of my own braincells when I’ve got the three of you,” said James as Remus shoved him. “Our four combined braincells is better than having two of my own, see?”

.

“Ah yes, there’s that genius at play.” Remus hooked an arm over James’ shoulders, finding comfort in the act as much as the friendship. Where once he might have been worried about proximity to people, the last year alone had proven that that barriers were worth breaking. That rules were meant to be broken. “Let’s hurry it along, I’m absolutely starved.”

[bulgaelupin]

jamesdeer​:

“Yeah, mate, I was always really worried about you. You always struggled so much. All the studying made me think you were on the verge of being put into remedial classes, you know? See, now I know you’re gonna be fine.” 

.

“Fat loads better than you lot. Could barely rub two braincells together.” This time, when Remus shoved James, it was with much more force, as if to punctuate how ridiculous Remus’ statement truly was. It didn’t bear any explanation. Not when the entire world, at this rate, should know how brilliant his friends continued to be.

[bulgaelupin]

jamesdeer​:

“Yes, exactly. We’ll have to get with the others to plan it out.” It had to be perfect, after all. A little bit of each of them imprinted in each prank. “Isn’t it weird to think we’ll actually be graduating? All of us?” 

.

Remus’ throat squeezed, emotion layering every inch of his body. “Are you saying you didn’t think one of us would graduate? Because, well, I know I’m a bit annoying about my need to study, but I would think you would have a little bit more confidence in me.”

[bulgaelupin]

jamesdeer​:

“There’s an idea. We could also pay tribute to something else we’ve done. You know, like our greatest hits, before we hit them with something new,” said James. “It’ll be our very own farewell tour.” 

.

His head shook as though he were suddenly transfigured into a bobblehead. “Yes! That’s brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. An homage to ourselves.” A little arrogant, but this was their last opportunity to really make a mark on the school, and Remus was far too deep into it all now to turn back.

[bulgaelupin]

when: march 19th, 1981 where: ballycastle ferry who: @ajransome​

The timing couldn’t have been worse. No, truly, the gods, if they existed at all, had to be laughing. Or, at the very least, they were amused with what they had created in terms of chaos down below. Remus wasn’t a religious man. He wasn’t even superstitious. He was, however, consistently unlucky in many areas of his life, including, first and foremost, the night he was turned into a werewolf.

Normally that sort of thing could be held closer to his chest, away from prying and curious eyes. Today, after over two days of being trapped on a ferry in the middle of the sea, he was barely holding it together. Weariness was overcoming him, and without his friends near, all of the strength that he had gathered felt as though it was drifting out in the ocean that was holding them all hostage.

He was sitting. More laying, than anything else. A horrible cold tearing through him, and it had nothing to do with the ice, or the breeze. Just in his bones. The feeling he got the day before every transformation. Each painful, brutal one. “Why me?” Remus asked quietly into the sky above, as if assuming he might get an answer this time.

[bulgaelupin]

jamesdeer​:

James gasped. “Do you think we could get ice sculptures of us that we could erect in the Great Hall?” he asked, quite serious about that idea. “Good thing we’ve got a few months to work it all out. Have you mentioned this to Padfoot and Wormtail, yet?” 

.

“Not yet. But after everything else we’ve done, this seems almost too easy to figure out.” He was bolder around his friends. Less unsure. More brash. They were traits that in many circumstances could be seen as uncouth, but for Remus, they represented freedom and safety. Anything was possible, so long as they had one another.

[bulgaelupin]

jamesdeer​:

James was quick as ever to latch onto the subject change. “We do,” he agreed immediately. “We ned to do something so big, that our children’s children will be talking about it at Hogwarts in hushed, reverent tones. We could make it a week long extravaganza, even. Something new every day to keep everyone on their toes. Start small, work our way up.”

.

“And end it with statues of us erected in the Great Hall?” Remus didn’t really want to see a life size statue of himself, but if it was something that turned out to be something else entirely. A Trojan Horse of sorts, he couldn’t deny the possibilities that it held. “We’ll need all hands on deck. Ideas. Plans. Organization is key if we want it to last for a week.”

[bulgaelupin]

purkissmyass​:

“Of course I haven’t told anyone,” said Doris shaking her head. She hadn’t even told Lily. Not about the incident with the muggle, anyway. “I know, I know. I just wish we knew someone we could trust.” Doris breathed deeply, though, to prevent herself from suddenly spiraling out. “It’ll be okay, though, right? It’ll all be okay in the end.” 

.

“This is going to work out. I meant what I said before. I’ll find someone. We’ll find something.” He knew a thing or two about feeling out of control. The helplessness and the fear that came with it. Remus would do anything he could to save Doris from a similar fate, no matter what that meant in the end, or what strings had to be pulled. “Tonight though, we’ll just, we’ll just pretend for a little while?”

[bulgaelupin]

jamesdeer​:

“Yes, nightmares,” said James with an emphatic nod. “Come on, though, you definitely would’ve made it to third year. I don’t know why you’re always so hard on yourself, you know.” That was a lie, James knew exactly why. “Honestly, surprised I’ve made it this far.” 

.

“Then maybe at this point we both need to agree that this alternate universe we’re talking about is better left in the past where it belongs. Never to come to be.” Because they weren’t failing. They had continued to succeed, no matter what was thrown their way. “Now, with graduation coming soon up, we need to start planning something big, Prongs. A proper send off.”

[bulgaelupin]

jamesdeer​:

Even as Remus asked the question, he probably had no idea just how much James thought about it. When he was off without his friends, it was a constant plague to his mind, wondering what life would be like if he hadn’t met them. Would they have met at some point in some other way? What if Sirius and James had met but had never gotten to know Remus and Peter? What if the three of them had been a tight knit group, possibly a fourth in their midst who wasn’t James (Bertram Aubrey immediately entered his thoughts and James scowled as he thought of him possibly getting to be friends with them all rather than James. Would he, James, then be the bitter one always trying to foil their pranks instead of Aubrey)?

“You know, I want to be my usual cool self and say that there is only one way for things to be and say I don’t think about it at all, because this friendship works too well it had to be down to fate– but, yeah, mate, I think about it all the time. I know, I know we have seers who, allegedly, provide prophecies that are inevitable and there’s fate. But what if the the timing hadn’t worked out? What if one thing we did could have changed all this and what we have, you know? It haunts my nightmares, really,” he finished dramatically.

.

“Nightmares?” Remus laughed, shoving his friend further down the corridor. “If none of that had worked, I doubt I would’ve made it to 3rd year. I’d probably have burnt myself out in year one, and never even bother to graduate.” Even with the uncertain horizon in front of him, at the very least, he had met people that he intended on loving for a lifetime. Whether he could find a job or not, he’d have them. Hogwarts had given him a family just as much as it had given him a degree.

[bulgaelupin]

purkissmyass​:

“I was in London,” started Doris. It had happened weeks ago by now, but in many ways Doris hadn’t wanted to talk about it, a little horrified with what had happened in the first place. “It was during the last week of January and there was this muggle girl who looked upset so I thought I might help, you know? Only it turns out she was one of those awful muggles that things we’re cruel people just because we have magic. I got so upset. It reminded me of the stories my dad tells sometimes of the antisemitism he gets. Or my mum with being told to speak English, you know? Just, I guess, it reminded me how awful people could be. And when she went on about the cause she stood for, something happened and she had all these warts on her face. I mean, it had to be because of me. I did that. I didn’t even have a wand. I didn’t even mean to.” 

.

“That sounds like the sort of magic that happens when we’re children, don’t you think?” The sort that formed more out of emotional outbursts than anything a person can actually control. “You haven’t told anyone, right? Because if anyone found out—uncontrolled magic like that could be deemed dangerous. A public safety risk. Doris. Doris you need to be careful.” But she already knew that.

Mostly, mostly he was just terrified for her. “I don’t want anything to happen to you, or for you to accidentally do something that you could potentially regret. We need to find someone to help us, and fast.”

[bulgaelupin]

purkissmyass​:

Doris smiled as he made his admission. “I know,” she said, nodding her head. “I think that’s why we work. Because whereas you might just say things to yourself and never think to say it out loud, I say too much out loud all the time.” Her nose twitched slightly as she then seemingly switched topics. “You know how my magic’s been a bit wonky lately?” she asked. She focused on her hands as she played with them on her lap. “It won’t work when I want it to work, but when I don’t want it to work, it seems things can happen.” 

.

Remus reached out, taking Doris’ hands in his own. How strange to think how large his were in comparison. He could never quite think of Doris as small, but a figure that was larger than life in his mind. It was only in these moments when she seemed to shrink away. “Did something happen?” A stupid question given that something clearly had. But he was urging her on, eyes never once leaving hers.