It Is Time Once Again

titsay
Cosimo Galluzzi
DEAR READER

@theartofmadeline
noise dept.
cherry valley forever
NASA

tannertan36
occasionally subtle
taylor price

blake kathryn
One Nice Bug Per Day
🪼

⁂
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Today's Document

#extradirty

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Mike Driver
todays bird

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@akikoneko
It Is Time Once Again
I hate that “chat” now makes people think of chatgpt. no. I’m asking my imaginary greek chorus twitch audience.
I'm so sorry ma'am, yes I know your car was attacked by a Sudowoodo and your policy does cover damage from Rock types, but our system has it listed as a Grass type. There's nothing I can do.
Ma'am your pokemon has a ×4 weakness to ground type. We can't insure that- graveler are too populous here and look at its defense scaling. Have you considered investing in an air balloon?
I know it's tedious ma'am, but if you teach your pokemon at least one HM that will qualify you for our Expidition Bonus, which gives you a 10% discount on your policy and provides coverage for natural disasters
Ma'am that's our EXP-All plan, you have EXP-Share which only covers one additional pokemon
I'm sorry ma'am our company is no longer providing accident or disaster insurance in your area. For more information you'll have to speak with the Absol and Xatu in our Calamities department.
Anemone
My parrot has a vague understanding of the word “no.” He knows to stop doing what he’s doing when he hears it, and he knows how to say it.
He knows it’s a word that is used when he’s doing something he shouldn’t be doing. However, being told “no” doesn’t make him stop doing it in future.
If he’s ever out of my sight or if I’m not paying attention, I know exactly when he’s doing something bad.
Because he says “no” to himself as he does it.
Theory Time
The reason endermen don’t like it when you look at them is because they communicate telepathically with one another by locking eyes! Humans are absolutely not designed to do this so when we look at them we are accidentally projecting all of our thoughts into them at the same time and it hurts :(
But like, since the player is not of the Minecraft world, the player is just what the use to explore it, what if it’s like:
Enderman: *looks at player’s eyes*
Player: 01010010 01100001 00100000 01110010 01100001 00100000 01010010 01100001 01110011 01110000 01110101 01110100 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01010010 01110101 01110011 01110011 01101001 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110001 01110101 01100101 01100101 01101110 00100000 01101111 01101000 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01101101 01100001 01101110
Enderman: oh ok *attacks player*
This kills me every single fucking time
THE ORIGINAL??
never played stardew valley so before looking at the tags I was willing to accept this was a real life political scandal
in a stroke of art, my ap chemistry teacher accidentally sent our class a picture of her cat
some of you asked for the picture so here it is
this is as raw as data gets.
We laugh at how The Art of War is basically just, "An army can't fight if the soldiers aren't eating," but I'm reading this document about conservation of ancient yew trees and it legitimately says, "You should never fill the center of a hollow yew with concrete," so I think that probably making blatantly obvious statements is just the bane of being a specialist in anything
Ah yeah, that's actually not so bizarre when you know the reasons behind it. Still extremely wrong but understandable at least.
So yew trees are weird. They are extremely long lived with basically no known upper limit to their age. They do this by simply being extremely good at not dying like other trees do.
When a normal tree gets to an old age what usually happens is a fungus gets into their heartwood and takes hold. Their internal, dead wood rots away and they hollow out, lose structural support and collapse. Depending on the species this process can take decades or a good few centuries or so.
While yew trees do hollow out in this way they simply keep going afterwards. A ring shaped yew tree with most of its trunk missing is actually just middle aged and the most ancient yews get even weirder than that.
Wikipedia has this image of a Scottish yew where the start of this hollowing process can be seen. To be clear - for most tree species this would already have been fatal.
The thing is seeing a very old yew in this condition looks wrong to a tree surgeon, it's like the tree is constantly on the verge of death. So, if it's a well loved tree you try and do what you can to stop it from falling apart entirely.
A hundred years ago people tried all sorts of things like chaining up branches and also, yes, plugging the hollowed trunk with concrete. We know better nowadays.
Funnily enough there are even yews that survived this treatment and are still alive today.
This is a picture of the Tisbury yew in 1998 from the Ancient Yew Group, barely a minute ago from the tree's perspective.
Yews are fascinating plants with roots in European culture as ancient as the trees themselves. A few individual specimen trees are even estimated to be around five thousand years old - literally prehistoric in age.
Oh also they do weird things with sex as well sometimes. One of the oldest UK trees, the Fortingall yew appears to partially be turning from male to female on one side. It'll be interesting to see what becomes of it in the next few centuries of its life.
Sorry if this is all stuff you already know, I couldn't resist a chance to infodump about one of my favourite species.
I bet it feels real good to be a sailing ship when they tighten the rigging
wrong. everyone get more perverted about marine vessels now and I'm not kidding
this post reaching Actual Ship Captains is beyond delightful holy moly
The Desolation of Scorch
oh you wanted T as in testosterone. i thought you meant T as in T-virus resident evil. well the good news is that you're still gonna transform at least
March