I have my own testimony regarding bad experiences/harassment at the hands of von and with all of this coming to light I am going to share every bit of it
So yeah you heard that right, I’ve had a shit ton of bad experiences with von essentially bullying me on the original tetro sever and stuff. I’ve never really talked about this stuff publicly as it always made me feel the thoughts of “I don’t really know if this is bullying” “it’s too petty to make an actual accusation and no one will take me seriously” “I may have said something wrong to deserve that treatment” and “I don’t know if these vague posts are me being paranoid or a personal attack”.
But I was talking with some people on a server I’m in about these experiences with bullying and the more I realised just how frequently this happened to me and everyone else was pointing out the same things I was noticing which made me more confident it was targeted harassment instead of my paranoia issues at play. Like it’s a weird thing as I very much know if I am being mistreated by someone, I will drag their ass into the ground to make them pay along with letting everyone else know what they did to me. But the bullying I experienced from von targeted my one weak point with not having any of the harassment be super direct so I couldn’t really speak up about it without people doubting me and saying “it’s not that bad”. As well on multiple occasions when von was getting weird af in the server (you may have seen screenshots floating around of it) like posting super suggestive hayashi swimsuit art and talking about the nsfw Hama and Sasaki fic which was born out of a ship wheel challenge (so there’s probably more fics like that out there). Both times I stood up and tied to call out how inappropriate this was but I was shut down by von making excuses and stuff.
Just to get a picture on things I am an OG tetro fan, like super OG. I started watching tetro around the time Yanagi’s interview was released in the pink prologue and I properly joined the offical discord server and fandom after the first motive so keep in mind I’ve been here since July/August 2024.
I do remember it was a very jarring experience when von started being rude to me when beforehand she praised me on a lot of stuff. For further context, like in the super early days (chapter 1) I would post a theory about stuff before every tetro Friday and von would praise them a lot and was like “hey Lanie theory dropped” (can’t remember the exact wording) and she’d compliment me on my art and especially my fanmade opening. Yet around chapter 3/4 she just started randomly being rude to me often and I was very confused and made me dislike von for a long time and just side eye her constantly. It also just came to my attention when I was discussing this that this attitude switch towards me seemed to have happened after me calling her out on the weird suggestive stuff. In which I can’t remember the exact timeline but huh, her treating me like shit after I called her out? Sounds familiar to everything else I’ve been hearing.
To properly get into how von was bullying me it was pretty weird. Like she’d make these comments which seemed directed at me which I couldn’t tell if it was actually vagueposting or me being paranoid. If I was in a disagreement with someone she’d pop in and always take the other persons side and just dog on me (even if that person was being an ass). She’d regularly make me feel excluded in ways where she’d praise other people in the server who were her “favourites” like that. As well in 1 on 1 conversations in dms and tickets she’d always feel really rude and attack me for being rude and stuff even with me trying to be as nice as I can. Like all of this stuff I couldn’t talk about because again it wasn’t severe enough to the point people would take me seriously or I doubted myself and thought I was just being paranoid or I was being rude and I deserved it.
There was also quite a few occasions where she seemed to attack me for my love for Ojima where she was saying I was mischaracterising him (mind you she agreed with people for literally the same stance on Ojima I presented). Like in instances where I think one of her friends liked Ojima and she would constantly refer to them as the “no 1 Ojima fan” in my face and honestly I don’t care about being called the no 1 fan of something as it’s not serious but the way she was doing this a lot got on my nerves and I couldn’t tell if it was directed, mind you she didn’t do this before she started treating me like this. There was also another really bad instance where I got in some disagreement with 2 other people if Ojima picking at his skin and giving himself pretty bad injuries was self harm. It was a thing where the term confused me as it’s kinda a misnomer in a way where not every self inflicted injury is self harm and the terminology was weird so like the main thing was about the confusion of the term. Cue to von cutting in, immediately taking the side of the other two people as she always does, and even though she clarified it was a BFRB thing she did this thing where she said something like “🌹🌹 flowers for the people who actually understand Ojima” (in a conversation mainly about the definition of self harm) right in front of my face and this was directed toward the other two people I was talking with so yeah really obviously a jab at me. Plus as well the other two people I always very much seemed to figure that they were some of Von’s favourites and theyd always praise her a lot and both of them put those flowers in their names for like the rest of the time the tetro server was up. Just keep in mind I’m not blaming the other two people cuz I don’t really think they were trying to be an ass to me there and I’m pretty sure the people who were Von’s favourites had it rough from her as well. But I guess it’s two sides of the same coin when it comes mistreatment and whether von liked you or not.
So what I’m talking about next is a much bigger incident where I wrote the whole thing down on the server I was recently discussing this in and I don’t feel like rewriting it so I’ll just copy paste it so jsyk if the tone is a bit different/feels out of place in this post.
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“OK SO it was like right before Ojima’s interview dropped (and we all know how that was) I got severely harassed on tumblr by some anonymous account that popped up to leak all of some very sensitive stuff about me of some harassment and bullying I experienced in another fandom and some person I considered a friend to me suddenly becoming very rude to me and I was fighting back heavily. And this person just posted all the heated stuff I said (when I was in a very bad mental state btw) out of context and essentially tried to expose everything about that. Luckily (and I still don’t know how I got this lucky) a bunch of people came to my side and supported me and took the account down but I was heavily scarred and having panic attacks and crying and everything. I messaged von about this harassment in a ticket on the server and she said she couldn’t do anything about it because it was outside the server but the point is she was very aware of my extreme stress and mental state by that point.
SO ojimas interview dropped and we all know how that went. I was doing absolutely horribly at that time and looked up to the likelyhood of ojimas interview and how that was essentially a saving light for me and I was like “I know I’m doing really shitty but I can count on this Ojima interview to save me” so the Ojima interview came out and it was literally nothing. You could imagine with me having multiple panic attacks and constantly crying before then I was fucked over so bad. I left the server in agony and I posted some comment on the video which I legitimately can’t remember but it was rude for what it was, but I ended up deleting it a few hours afterwards. I think I remember it containing “this is bullshit” or something.
So I was banned from the server for that comment which I didn’t know until like a week later when I tried to rejoin the server and I couldn’t and asked a friend about it and they said I was banned, which was very confusing for me because I didn’t say anything that would warrant a ban in the sever itself. And like I dmed von about that on tumblr and she said it was from what I said on YouTube. I apologised so much and tried to explain how I was literally having a panic attack and said some shit I wouldn’t normally say. As well as lowkey dismissing me for how I have this problem of forgetting things that are very stressful for me. I genuinely can’t remember what I said specifically but the way she talked about it she was saying it was like a personal attack but I’m pretty sure I did not make a personal attack even if my memory was fuzzy. And I just kept apologising and I remember her saying something about appreciating my apology but saying she wasn’t going to unban me.
So cut to like day 2 of chapter 5 in pink I got message from a friend that link to a post on tumblr that von was doing a mass unbanning (I don’t know most of the context around the post itself) and I checked back in the server and well hey I was unbanned. It was very confusing for me but I was relieved enough I was back in the server as but I still remained spiteful as hell and with even more of a grudge against von.
This incident is particularly jarring to me as it’s one of those situations I had where I don’t know if I deserved what I did or if I did say something bad enough to get me banned outside the server but one thing I know about myself is that no matter how much I hate someone I would never personally attack them, even at my worst moments. Like I said I have trouble remembering things that are stressful so I never really mentioned it before as I genuinely don’t know if it was my fault and I said something bad and I deserved to get banned like that or it was von being an ass or a mix of both.”
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So I feel like that should explain enough about probably the most extreme incident I had regarding von, which I still feel iffy talking about as I still have that feeling in me that I deserved it but when I talked about it in the sever everyone jumped to my side so that does make me feel a bit better. It also came to me that people started bringing up how after the ojima spotlight von constantly was joking about people getting pissed and mad over the Ojima spotlight and they were worried she was vagueposting about me. Like this made me remember a ton of shit and how constantly von was saying that stuff and it made me feel so horrible as I always got the feeling she was referring to me when she was talking about negative reactions to ojimas spotlight and making fun of me. But I never could talk up about it properly as since it was all vague stuff I didn’t have any concrete proof it was directed harassment at me. Plus as well with my paranoia issues and such I always felt I was just going crazy and thinking von was vagueposting about me when she wasn’t, as I have a bad habit sometimes of assuming everyone is out to get me and constantly vagueposting about me. But looking at this in context of everything else yeah it definitely felt like targeted bullying and personal harassment at me specifically.
Also on this note I’m gonna talk about another thing I said there about another related incident to the whole Ojima spotlight thing as it clicks into this narrative as well. Once again it’s copy pasted from my discord convo.
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“And oh I bought this up before but idk if I posted the whole story in like chapter 5 around a bit after the motive there was someone in the Ojima town forum who was overstepping my boundaries and I think making fun of the ojima spotlight when I told them not to as it bought back bad memories for me (like with everything I said before) and von randomly stepped in, started taking their side and dismissing me, and just let them go on despite how I asked them kindly to stop as they were making me uncomfortable. Cue me locking the Ojima forum to stop this as I didn’t know it was a permanent thing that could only be undone by mods so after that I was very stressed and took a 3 hour nap. Cut to me waking up and the same person who was making me uncomfortable made a new Ojima forum and guess what a lot of Von’s favourites were in there saying how they didn’t like the old Ojima forum for being “too restrictive” (I was literally trying to set my boundaries) and I sent a ticket to von about this to unlock the Ojima town forum and she was being rude from what I remember and saying that since a new forum is up it doesn’t matter (this new forum was a couple hours old, the Ojima town forum was as old as chapter 2 and had a lot of content in it) and von was accusing me of being rude and shit.
This is another thing I never really spoke up too much about it because again the self doubt me thinking I was actually being too pushy over not wanting people to talk about and make fun of the ojima spotlight because it affected me negatively but I was more sure this was something shitty on Von’s part so I did talk about it more often, but not in the server as I was scared to say stuff like that about von especially since I felt like I was on thin ice a couple months or so after the ban incident.”
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So yeah that’s all I have to say about Von’s targeted harassment at me that I can properly recall. Like she always came across as super rude and especially to me and the whole thing of her favouriting certain members in the og tetro server who praised her a lot and then acting like this towards people she didn’t like (this is mainly from my experience so I don’t know about other people who went through this). And like it’s the type of stuff that when it happens it made me angry and spiteful as hell but it wasn’t too bad to the point of scarring me or I’d be believed enough if I told everyone about it. But looking back in retrospective after all of this horrible stuff coming out about von this consistent bullying towards me felt more and more like an actual major thing and how she’s treated other people like this as well. I do kinda feel guilty I didn’t bring all this up beforehand as it was actually quite bad, even though I know I shouldn’t feel that way. It’s just I feel more comfortable sharing it as I no longer have to worry about people not believing me/taking this seriously and all the von defenders dismissing me.
Also one thing I’d like to note is that if you wanna bring my story up when talking about Von’s mistreatment of people, absolutely do so. This testimony was shared to bring light on the way she bullied me and I want people to see this side of the story. I know I haven’t had it “as bad” as other people but it still took a toll on me in the long run and since the beginning of the year I resented her and knew something was off with von.
But anyway thank you for reading. I’m sorry if this got a bit heavy talking about this but it’s ok. I hope everyone reading this has a good day.