my emotions only exist when i'm talking to you

AKSEL WINTHER, 19 art student. barista @ the grindhouse. — & until this lie runs through, nothing really matters 'cause nothing seems to pique me lately. i'm down, back in my room in a wave of B L U E and i'd assume it’s cause i'm thinkin' about you ?

[akselism]

text: open

raven: ok i stress baked and made like a hundred cookies

raven: u want some?

aksel: yes please!!

aksel: i have $0.87 in my bank account and i just ate my last brick of ramen

aksel: i'll take a free anything at this point

aksel: (adulting is so great)

[akselism]

☾˙ ˖ ✶ imessage » sunday & aksel

sunday: i haven't so.......please i will cry a million tears of joy u beautiful human

sunday: honestly that's the worst. half of the reason i don't really shop in stores like that tbh. i never can find anything i like that isn't ruined by something

sunday: i have no idea what that means, nothing about that makes sense at all i'm lost

aksel: i'll be there in twenty

aksel: ugh next time i'm shopping online

aksel: bUT i did get a shirt from urban outfitters and i look so good in it i love it

aksel: i'll model it for you

[childrenhavetherighttomusic]

Visit Original Link

[akselism]

benjixnotxbenjamin:

Still wondering why he had agreed to do this (and arriving at the answer of he had nothing better to do and no real reason to say no), Benji stood in the light, trying to relax even before Aksel said he seemed tense.  “We can if you want,” Benji replied.  “Sorry, I’m trying to loosen up, I’ve just never been a model before.  I’m not even sure why anyone would want to draw me.”

“it’s all cool, man. don’t be sorry.” he offered benji a reassuring smile, setting down his sketchbook and pencil on the nearest flat surface. “your face is like----perfect for drawing, and i’ve actually been wanting to draw you for a while. i hope that doesn’t creep you out.” a soft laugh left him in a huff of breath. “do you want something to drink, maybe? we’ve got coffee, tea, lemonade, beer---- i think.”

[akselism]

callstormx:

“Look, I’m just tired, okay? Being a waitress is awful sometimes, it’s worst when you have a very rude customer. I just hate some of them.”

“s’okay, i get it. you should’ve seen this douche that came into the coffee shop last week---- he ordered an americano, and i was like ‘tall or short?’ which he didn’t get at first, so i explained, y’know---- ‘it’s 8 or 12 ounces. same shot in each so the 8 ounce is stronger.’ and he was like ‘yeah, i GET how it works. i just spent a year in ITALY so disappoint me with whatever you want.’” 

[akselism]

☾˙ ˖ ✶ imessage » sunday & aksel

sunday: you don't realize you have a caffeine addiction until you've only got decaf left at home

sunday: i don't even know why i HAVE decaf, i can't imagine a situation that i'd ever need it but

sunday: i had to suffer all day anyway

aksel: did you get your caffeine fix yet?? if not i could probably swing by with coffee soon

aksel: i'm out shopping for clothes

aksel: why does h&m feel the need to ruin a perfectly nice t-shirt with a cringy quote?

aksel: "fridays we be like... squad goals" what does this even mean

[rolenciaga]

[akselism]

mvrgcts:

Margot let out a groan at his words, leaning over so she was on her side. “I didn’t even technically agree to this though! I just wanted food. This is blackmail and bribery and whatever.” She’d never been one to sit still for too long, too restless to do anything less than stay busy, even if she wasn’t being productive in anyway. “This actually sucks, dude, c’mon. Stop making me move.” Despite her complaining, she moved toward the window, though she didn’t hold any sort of position there either. “I’m hungry,” she said with a whine.

aksel made a frustrated noise that was half-laugh, half-sigh, and brought his hand up to rub against his tired eyes. she was a terrible model ( he should have known ), but that didn’t mean to say he appreciated her company any less. “fuck it. let’s go get some food.” the blond jumped to his feet and grabbed a hoodie off the floor, sniffing it twice before deeming it clean enough to wear outside. “so, what are you in the mood for? pizza? chinese?”

[akselism]

itsanna-isaiah:

“Alright, alright.. I’m sorry!!” She exclaimed as she looked at him and then laughed softly. She looked at him and watched him get into his position for drawing her. “Of course! I love to help other people out so it was fun to do really.” She mentioned to him as she smirked softly. “That sweet of you and I will sit still more now.” She said to him. She looked at him and nodded. “First you don’t want me to move and then now you want me to move.” She said as she walked over to the window like he asked. 

akel's features softened into a weak smile, “no, no-- it’s fine, i didn’t mean to sound so irritated. lack of sleep s'all." he explained, stretching his neck until it gave a satisfying crack. he’d stayed up until 3 am watching rosemary’s baby last night and couldn’t stop thinking about the plot to get a decent amount of sleep ( a detail he’d rather keep to himself ). "you're doing good. i'll probably be done soon."  

[akselism]

sundxy:

                                                           plump lips pressed together for a brief moment, the corners of her mouth curving into a bit of a sheepish smile. “ i’m SORRY. i’m not used to sitting this long unless i’m playing. ” she let out a sigh, but straightened her spine in attempt to sit still once more. until he told her to move, at least. getting to her feet, she shuffled over, stepping over a few articles of clothing that littered the floor as she took her place by the window like he’d asked. “ –is this better ?? ”

“i mean---- can't you just pretend you’re playing the piano in your head or something??” aksel suggested with a weak shrug. at least her torture was nearly over; all that was left for him to do was to finish her face and then add some sort of background. “yeah, much better. hey, do you want me to put on netflix on my laptop...? maybe that will work as a good distraction?”

[akselism]

arthurcndrade:

“i am not moving!” arthur protested. a small shake of the head, before he ran a hand through the back of his head. the thought that maybe messing up his hair could get in the way of the other’s drawing only crossing his mind after he’d done it. “you don’t have to bribe me with lunch, i am a rock. a statue. i am almost davi himself, but there is a fly around here, and it is annoying as hell.” he looked around the place. frown on his face. eyes looking for a clear pathway to the place aksel had pointed him, before getting up and going there. “no offense, little man, like your place is great and all, but do you want help cleaning this up? or like, do you want me to hire someone to clean it up for you? because i mean, it’s awesome and all, but i am sort of worried you’ll die here and no one will be able to find your body in the middle of the art things you have.”

"i suppose you both have the chiseled jawline going...?" aksel replied, his lips curving into a grin-- however, the expression was rather short-lived. “hey-- no, no, no.” the younger protested, shaking his head vehemently, as if worried that the man would suddenly try to tidy things up right there and then. “this is my own system for organization, okay? i know where everything is in here. if you start moving things around, i’d never be able to find anything again. honestly.” 

[akselism]

andrewmeadowss:

Andrew shifted in his seat, patience clearly not his strong suit. “Well, then hurry up. I’m starting to think that a free lunch really isn’t worth this.” He lamented, more jokingly than actually serious about his complaint. He had ended up here by sheer coincidence, having been in the right place at the right time, or the wrong place at the wrong time depending on your take of the situation. As grumpy as he often seemed, he always had a hard time declining if someone asked him for a favor, especially if they were as nice about it as Aksel had been. He rolled his eyes at the instructions but moved to the window anyway. “I thought I wasn’t allowed to move. Make up your mind.” He remarked with a chuckle.

“it'll be worth it. there’s an amazing turkish place within walking distance. you’ll love it.” he had to strain himself from rolling his eyes, and used his pencil to gesture for andrew to stop talking once he’d taken his place by the window. “you’re not allowed to move from here on now.” he continuted the task of shading regions of andrew’s face, the tip of his tongue poking out between parted lips in concentration while he worked---- a habit he’d acquired somewhere along his childhood. soon enough, he'd finished, turning his sketchpad around to show the older male. "what do you think?" 

[akselism]

thornelukas:

The older wasn’t known for his patience, despite his job. He usually had to be occupied doing something or other, to keep his wandering mind from straying. Sitting still just wasn’t in his to-do list. Thus the request of the other was essentially like throwing the man-child in his own personal hell, and expecting him to smile and wave at the audience. With a sigh, almost desperate with how shallow, how distant–he’d attempt through vicious biting of the side of his cheek, to remain still. “I reckon we should change roles. You sit still, and I’ll do the sketching. Sounds better to me.” The rugged edge of his voice, Busan satoori breaching his standard dialect, almost sounded pained. With a huff, a sigh, and half a dozen groans later, he succumb. “Just hurry up, okay? I’m expecting head later for my all too generous services.”

aksel’s eyes flashed up in annoyance. "i reckon you should shush." living together, the younger had learned how to effectively turn a deaf ear to the other's complaints, which was exactly what he did as he went back to sketching. lukas' face was taking shape, quickly, under the pencil's strokes, dark hair framing it and a few wayward strands nearly falling into his eyes. “not drunk enough to suck your dick.” aksel told his roommate in a low, sing-song voice, not bothering to look up from his paper. a mere ten minutes later and he was regarding his sketch thoroughly, mouth pulling into a lopsided smile as he turned the sketchbook around to show lukas. “done. not bad, huh? i even made you prettier.”

[akselism]

benjixnotxbenjamin:

Benji had met Aksel this past semester at U.C. Everwood.  Somehow he’d missed one of his lower level college classes, so Benji was taking a class with a bunch of freshman and sophomores when he’d met Aksel.  They weren’t really…friends per se, but they could be.  Right now they were more of acquaintances, yet somehow Benji found himself in an unexpected position.  While he felt very uncomfortable, he tried to appear relaxed.  Nodding, he moved toward the window, asking the other man, “Is this alright?”

from the moment they'd met, aksel had hoped to get to draw benji someday. there was something about the other man's face and how he would carry himself that left aksel feeling some type of urge to capture all of his particularities on paper. so when his first model had cancelled on him last minute, he'd taken the opportunity to ask benji. aksel honestly hadn't expected him to say yes, especially since they barely knew one another. when he'd agreed to do it, aksel had been absolutely delighted. "yeah, yeah-- that's great." the younger nodded and shifted himself to a more comfortable position, which caused his desk chair to squeak horribly. "do you... maybe want to take a break? you seem sorta tense."

[akselism]

“seriously, i can’t do the first sketch if you keep moving!!” aksel was slouched in his desk chair at an odd angle, sketchpad propped up on his knees and pencil in hand. “look, i appreciate you doing this on such short notice and i’ll even buy you lunch after this, but you need to sit still.” he quickly glanced about his room; there were unfinished canvases scattered everywhere, papers and magazines askew on the floor, accompanied by large piles of dirty clothes. the boy was a firm believer in organized chaos—- to the naked eye, it might have seemed like nothing more than a gigantic mess, but aksel usually knew exactly where everything was; it just took him some time to find it. “ten more minutes, alright? can you move to the window? i think the lightning is better there.” 

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

I am a dream swallower, and I poison myself. I have a palate for rare, erratic impulses.

Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in Linotte: The Early Diary Of   Anaïs Nin (1914-1920)