Arumlily

|sunsets|soju|Fireworks| Spread love Believe in cliché I absolutely love F.R.I.E.N.D.S

[akshaya-infinity]

For once .. I hated going home .. I didn’t want to ! I wanna stay here where the hurt is tolerable ! I’m afraid , if I go home .. the hell will break loose and my heart will be shattered .. my mind will become a mess .. I hate it how everything affects me .. I hate it that I can’t ask for help ..

[akshaya-infinity]

Will I be able to live another day with the despair tugging my heavy heart .. every second feels so terrible .. like burning my body with molten lava .. wanna leave and find a place where happiness isn’t followed by tragedy !

[akshaya-infinity]

The abyss possessed me ..

[akshaya-infinity]

Your words in my head , knives in heart !

[akshaya-infinity]

Sitting here with bleeding heart under the solemn sky looking for a moment of peace to calm my storms ..

[akshaya-infinity]

[akshaya-infinity]

[akshaya-infinity]

In this labyrinth, I hoped .. I lived .. I loved .. and I lost !

[akshaya-infinity]

I don’t wanna see people getting hurt anymore and I don’t wanna feel this helplessness in me !

[akshaya-infinity]

Lap hugs all together are a different feeling . It’s a different kind of intimacy which helps you feel comfortable and not awkward . You both are in close proximity, inhaling each other’s cologne and there’s this intense vibe in the air which is so calm . This is the kind of intimacy I preach for .

[akshaya-infinity]

In your eyes .. I see there something burning inside you !

[akshaya-infinity]

Breathing ..

We breathe in oxygen and release carbon dioxide .. that’s just how we define our breathing process .. all this time we just assume this mechanism which is helping us stay alive as a function but at certain moments we try to find a meaning for it .. like the question “what makes me wanna breathe to live “ why should I still keep breathing .. can’t I just end it ?” There’s always these questions popping out in ur brain whilst the situations and incidents you’ve been facing all the time . It’s the irony people we try to find meaning in everything with our assumptions .. we overthink things . We define things which can’t be defined . We see things where there is nothing to be seen .

[akshaya-infinity]

Can’t keep my hands to myself!

I mean I could but why would I want to ?

[akshaya-infinity]

Carelessness will cost you .. said my mom . Never really thought about it but I realised it later on .. what she meant and now I can’t accept it more than anything !

[akshaya-infinity]

Just now realised .. listening to music at low volume also works .. for outbursts !

[akshaya-infinity]

If the world was ending , you’d come over right ?

[akshaya-infinity]

I’m afraid That what if I’m never gonna find that one true cliché love that everyone talks about in novels . I’m scared that what if I won’t experience those stupid butterflies and heart palpitations . Every second scares me . It tells me that I’m nowhere near to something that I wish . As for what I wish , i certainly don’t know ! My wishes keep on changing . They change basically because I’ve not seen or felt anything .. there’s so much I can do with this life and these 18 yrs .. I couldn’t do any one of them .. right now I wanna be like that girl who walks the path careless of the worlds tragedies .. that girl who isn’t afraid to smile and choose happiness .. that girl who doesn’t wanna end up giving her life .. yeah I wanna be that girl .. there must be 7/8/9 billion people in the world and I haven’t found one to share my mind loops and heart strings with !

What a sad story .. ughhh ..