I thought I should do a quick little announcement since the new book is now out. It's not something I'm interested in and I do not plan on reading it (for a few reasons, but I won't get into it because I don't want to take from people's excitement). I won't be posting about it and that is why. It shouldn't really change anything on this blog. There's only one thing I ask from you guys:
Please don't send me any asks/messages about the content of the new book!
It just isn't my thing! So it's appreciated if people just dont send me details about it. I hope that's understandable!
imagining Morzan with a deep, gravelly voice. contrasted with the slightly less deep silky smooth voice I imagine Galbatorix with. men
Morzan's voice rasps subtly through its low tones, rough around the edges and underlaid with a deep rumble that sometimes rises to the surface. Selena's ears perk up the moment she first hears it. She talks to him so she can hear it again more clearly, spoken for her. The gravel gives his words force and weight even when they're quiet, commanding respectful attention. She's never heard anyone else speak with precisely the same quality.
It's undeniably alluring to her, an attraction that greatly overshadows any other impression she gets from the timbre of him. But underneath that distraction, there's something particular about his voice, something it evokes- but even in the rare moments Selena manages to focus on that, she can't put her finger on what it is.
That is, until they're both far away from Carvahall, well and truly entrenched in the wide open world, on their way- as Morzan tells her- to regroup with some companions. Yet it's not a person that comes to meet them, but a monster, making the air throb on thunderous wings. Selena reels and cowers as the dragon descends on them, pulling desperately on Morzan's arm, but he doesn't budge. He gazes up at the creature with calm regard. Selena can only stare with him, flooded with horror, awe, and epiphany of what exactly she's gotten herself into.
A hand settles at the small of her back. "Easy there," Morzan says with a faintly mocking laugh. "If you bolt, he'll chase."
As she listens to him speak while staring up at the beast, it hits her, That's it. The earth shudders when it lands and she trembles with it. He has a dragon's voice. If it could, a dragon would speak the way he does. Morzan approaches and pats its jaw. This is why, she realizes. He learned from its growls and roars.
He smiles sharp. "Come say hello," the Dragon Rider rumbles.
imagining Morzan with a deep, gravelly voice. contrasted with the slightly less deep silky smooth voice I imagine Galbatorix with. men
Morzan's voice rasps subtly through its low tones, rough around the edges and underlaid with a deep rumble that sometimes rises to the surface. Selena's ears perk up the moment she first hears it. She talks to him so she can hear it again more clearly, spoken for her. The gravel gives his words force and weight even when they're quiet, commanding respectful attention. She's never heard anyone else speak with precisely the same quality.
It's undeniably alluring to her, an attraction that greatly overshadows any other impression she gets from the timbre of him. But underneath that distraction, there's something particular about his voice, something it evokes- but even in the rare moments Selena manages to focus on that, she can't put her finger on what it is.
That is, until they're both far away from Carvahall, well and truly entrenched in the wide open world, on their way- as Morzan tells her- to regroup with some companions. Yet it's not a person that comes to meet them, but a monster, making the air throb on thunderous wings. Selena reels and cowers as the dragon descends on them, pulling desperately on Morzan's arm, but he doesn't budge. He gazes up at the creature with calm regard. Selena can only stare with him, flooded with horror, awe, and epiphany of what exactly she's gotten herself into.
A hand settles at the small of her back. "Easy there," Morzan says with a faintly mocking laugh. "If you bolt, he'll chase."
As she listens to him speak while staring up at the beast, it hits her, That's it. The earth shudders when it lands and she trembles with it. He has a dragon's voice. If it could, a dragon would speak the way he does. Morzan approaches and pats its jaw. This is why, she realizes. He learned from its growls and roars.
He smiles sharp. "Come say hello," the Dragon Rider rumbles.
(for real though, Chris no doubt added that he was handsome "in a cruel, haughty manner" as a heavy handed reminder that Morzan was evil. But the idea of being "handsome in a cruel way" is a very captivating description to me, infinitely more than just calling him handsome.)
Where can I read your stories? They seem really interesting!
Thanks so much! I'm glad you like my stuff and I'm flattered you want to read more! Most of my fics are on my Ao3 under HurricanesWriting!
I also have a few short fics on my blog that I haven't posted there (maybe this is my cue to do that.) One older one about Murtagh and the Eldunari here, and two more recent Murtagh/Orrin ones here and here.
Clear Horizons- the story I'm currently working on isn't finished yet, and I won't properly post it until it is. However I have posted some small snippets of my draft on here! If you're curious, you can find them (and some general talk about the story and my progress) all tagged under #clear-horizons-chatter
Eragon and Nasuada are both well loved characters with a lot of good qualities, but they also have some serious flaws and make some grave mistakes. For example, I feel they're objectionable treatment of Murtagh has been discussed relatively often. However, I think they need Way More criticism for how utterly negligent they were in preparing for the confrontation with Galbatorix. Without the outside benefit of genre awareness, it's so egregious how they almost never even try to come up with a plan to kill him. I feel like it springs from inexperience, being overwhelmed, and arrogance, but it's so severe because the ramifications extend to countless lives beyond their own. And no matter the reasons for it, neither of them ever then acknowledge this failing and amend for its consequences, and that is inexcusable. The fact that the first and only plan they ever had to defeat Galbatorix (which immediately fails btw), Eragon came up with hours before the final battle is honestly sickening. Considering their war is justified by a moral basis, the Varden's ethics, specifically in their leaders are all but non-existent.
Why???!!!! It feels like they take no responsibility for their allies! Their concern for them is vague at best and doesn't inform their actions. It's as if they believe that because these people willingly joined their cause knowing they could die, they as leaders are free of blame for anything that happens to them, which is a naive and indulgent misconception. Their decisions still determine those people's fates! And in regards to the eventual fight against Galbatorix, that potential fate they're taking a chance with should they lose is all their allies being slaughtered, down to the very last man. For a start. But Eragon and Nasuada are too young to shoulder that weight as their stations demand and too arrogant to admit their inability, so they just leave it by the wayside.
So. uh. This is probably a lot more than you bargained for lmao, I went a bit crazy. This is mostly a continuous story of his backstory through roughly the first year he raised Murtagh, then some more random headcanons after that.
I just. love Tornac <3
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- Tornac is the son of the marshal, who oversees the military presence of a noblemanās castle. His father starts training him in combat when heās young simply for practicality, with the hope that he can take over his role when heās older.
- Tornac learns very quickly, even when heās young. He didnāt have any fervent dreams of knighthood or glory, yet heās always unwaveringly prepared for new challenges to overcome.
- No one around him entirely recognizes what they have on their hands as Tornac goes through his first several years of training. He steadily masters every skill presented to him, not without struggling, but he never struggles for very long. His father can tell heās especially talented and heās impressed when he has nothing more to teach him when Tornac is just 14. He knows his son will be a great swordsman, but it doesnāt occur to him to imagine far beyond the scope of his own largely unremarkable life.
- Regardless, his father is kind and wants him to excel, so he arranges for Tornac train under a more venerated knight in another city. He goes and he learns the more advanced skills the knight teaches him until Tornac can best him too, after only a little more than a year after arriving.
- With the impressed recommendation of his previous tutor, Tornac gets passed around to increasingly renowned warriors, and yet, his capabilities never seem to reach a limit they canāt grow beyond. He never finds a mentor he canāt eventually defeat. Belatedly, his peers and patrons come to realize that Tornac is a true prodigy, something the Empireās army inevitably takes notice of.
- In his youth, Tornac himself is hard working, reserved, and intensely pragmatic, never particularly outgoing or adventurous. He never cared to question the path his father set him on, even once his father was no longer the one laying it out for him. Heās good at this, and that was reason enough for him to decide to build his livelihood as a soldier. He never stops to consider any other possibility for himself.
- So when the army takes him into the fold to test his mettle, he goes along readily. Even the expertise hoarded by the Empire canāt hold him back by then. He has so little left to learn, and what he does he learns swiftly before conquering every last challenge. At just 20 years old, he earns the simple but resounding reputation of the best warrior of his day- and quite possibly in the history of the Empire.
- (I do imagine Tornac as the best human warrior in the series. In a hypothetical situation where he might have lived, he had the skills to defeat any of the other humans at any point in the story.)
- Tornac needs no convincing to accept a position in the army, especially after his father expresses his support of the opportunity. It is by far the clearest place for him and he struggles to imagine a different option that could suit him, so he doesnāt dwell on the choice to enlist. He honestly doesnāt know what else to do with himself.
- He wasnāt raised with any special loyalty to the Empire. He sees his role in the army as performing a job more so than serving a cause. Heās dismissive of the politics behind the army and he falls short enacting the zealous allegiance that the army prefers to instill in its soldiers.
- Nevertheless, by the merit of his unparalleled swordsmanship, Tornac rises through the ranks swiftly. He doesnāt do much to actively seek out his promotions, not very ambitious by nature, but his reputation elevates him, and after a few years, he settles in the position of commander.
- Tornac spends over a decade in the army, notorious, but no longer just for the fact that he remains undefeated. The years sour him and wear away at every soft part of him, leaving only jagged flint behind. Tornacās remarkable prowess in combat doesnāt innately suit him to command. Heās adept at it, he would have never lasted so long if he wasnāt, but he hates it. It taxes him horribly, managing so many soldiers- he hates the endless monotony, logistic headaches, enforcing discipline, handling every problem, and ordering around everyone without the common sense to figure out anything on their own. He does it, but he hates every minute of it.
- Tornac grows notorious for being a dismally strict commander, never to the point that heās called cruel, but famously impatient. Itās an accurate description. Heās utterly intolerant of any disrespect or crassness, irascible and very swift to snap at anyone whoās made a mistake or fumbled their responsibilities, and browbeats his men for talking back to him or his orders.
- It creates an endless cycle of stress and he drinks when he can find the time to try to alleviate the tension. Heās perpetually discontent, but he sees no alternative.
- Tornac carries out his own orders successfully and wins every battle against the Vardenās men when they pressure their borders. While the Empire uses the less effective units of its army to police its own citizens and ensure compliance, it sends Tornac to deal with the real threats. He becomes a very experienced and renowned veteran, but he doesnāt make many friends.
- Tornac is in his thirties when heās appointed Murtaghās warden. Of course, in an official capacity, Galbatorix is the guardian of his most loyal servantās son, but the childās day to day life is beneath him and so he summons Tornac.
- Tornac is bewildered to be plucked from his post by a direct invitation from the king with no explanation. Itās nothing compared to his absolute shock when Galbatorix announces he is to oversee the upbringing of Morzanās four year old son. Overshadowing the already confounding revelation that Morzan had a child at all, he cannot fathom why he should have any responsibility over him. He argues that he has absolutely no skill with children and he has duties to fulfill on the other side of the country. Galbatorix informs him that heās been relieved of his command so he may take on this task.
- Under any other circumstance, Tornac might be overjoyed to hear he doesnāt have to toil in the army any longer, but in the moment, it feels like his world is falling apart. Heās carefully built his whole life around the things he already has full confidence and understanding in, and now, all at once heās being thrown into something utterly unknown and untried.
- And he has never wanted children. He hates his command because he hates being bothered, and the only thing he can imagine bothering him more is a shrieking toddler. Heāll lose his mind.
- His blindsided panic gets the better of him and he argues against his orders much more brashly than he would have dared to otherwise. Cool and stoney, Galbatorix cuts across him, saying, āMorzanās son is to become a great warrior. I am giving him the guidance of Alagaesiaās finest swordsman so that he will not fail that expectation.ā
- The king leaves not even a hairās breadth of room for defiance and so Tornac stops showing any. It gets through to him that this is real, so he bows and accepts the task. He might not feel much loyalty to the Empire, but heās not a fool and he knows full well that the king is not someone to be denied.
- And so it happens that the most famed and maladjusted commander of the Empireās army becomes the caretaker of Morzanās four year old son.
- Galbatorix was being honest in his explanation to Tornac. His reason for assigning him to raise Murtagh was Tornacās martial prowess. From the beginning, he intends to use Murtagh as a weapon when heās old enough, whether he becomes a Rider or not. So itās of the greatest importance that he learns to be a strong warrior, and since that requires dedicated training throughout his youth, thatās what he needs Tornac to provide more than anything else.
- The rest Galbatorix is confident he can handle when the time comes to recruit Murtagh. He knows Tornac is rather dispassionate about the Empire and is unlikely to instill much loyalty in Murtagh, but he feels fully willing and able to force Murtagh into compliance if need be, so he doesnāt let that get in the way.
- Heās also aware of Tornacās less than kindly reputation, but that doesnāt bother him either. In fact, Galbatorix welcomes the possibility that Tornac might mistreat him similarly to how Morzan did- as long as he doesnāt cause more lasting, physical harm. Instinctive, ingrained fear of punishment is something he could make effective use of later down the line.
- So Galbatorix ignores Tornacās objections that he would be a bad warden for a young child. He will serve the purpose the king actually cares about- forging a weapon.
- Thus Tornac is provided a new life in Uruābaenās citadel, more lavish than heās ever known. Heās introduced to his quarters, the household staff, and finally, his ward.
- He doesnāt know what he thought Morzanās progeny would be, but it certainly wasnāt Murtagh. Heās scrawny and oh so small, with huge, gray eyes deep with uncertainty. He holds himself tense and moves around carefully- because of his wounded back, Tornac soon learns.
- And heās quiet. Murtagh is remarkably, blessedly quiet.
- At first, Tornac revels in this, astounded by his good luck. He expected a shrill, petulant, and entitled child he simply wouldnāt be able to cope with, but Murtagh is so withdrawn and out of the way, he can almost forget heās even there. He can live with this, and the relief is profound.
- It doesnāt last, though. After the first week, Tornac starts to get frustrated by how difficult it is to communicate with his new ward. He shies away from his attempts to glean anything about him, mumbling only the most noncommittal answers, then when he does tug on his sleeve, he fails to say what exactly he needs. Murtagh needs so much coaxing to come out of his shell, only to retract again at the drop of a hat, and Tornac finds himself struggling to keep his patience.
- In the way Galbatorix silently anticipated, Tornac does snap at Murtagh in those early days. His habitual stress responses make him raise his voice and reprimand him for being difficult, trying to forcibly override Murtaghās behavior. Itās counterproductive enough that it starts to make Tornac uncomfortable in a way heās never felt before.
- Any satisfaction he first felt at Murtaghās quietness has vanished. Heād rather deal with a well behaved child, but a four year old should have more energy than this, no matter his shyness. His reticence strikes him as more and more unnatural.
- A far cry from what he dreaded when he was told to care for a child, this is how he would imagine having an exceedingly skittish cat. Murtagh hides under the furniture, he tries to leave the room the moment someone else enters, he never makes eye contact with him for more than a heartbeat, and heās so damn quiet!
- Heās concerned for Murtagh, Tornac realizes, grieved by the signs of fear and pain in a child so young. This is as far as he can get from his responsibilities in the army, and his methods of dealing with it like a commander are clearly making things worse.
- Tornac pulls back to reevaluate. He may be woefully unknowledgeable about children, but his father always told him that his natural talent as a warrior came from his impeccable intuition. He can intuit this. He can observe and analyze and adapt to figure this out, because those are skills he does have.
- He breathes and steadies himself, calming himself like he does before a duel. He aligns himself to Murtaghās own pace to start off, then adjusts from there. He forcefully reminds himself heās not working under any deadlines anymore, he has no duties that pile up during any delay, and he lets himself wait for Murtagh to find a degree of courage and comfort in his own very lengthy time. Some days, he never does, but as Tornac allows himself to take this as a chance to rest and recuperate as well, patience comes so much easier. Enough that Murtagh occasionally overcomes his anxiety and opens up to him.
- Tornac resolves to better step into the role assigned to him. He involves himself more consistently in Murtaghās day to day, he bends his focus and decisions towards his safety and comfort, and he starts to teach him lessons. Murtaghās still so young that theyāre hardly vital, so he keeps them short and light, hoping for enjoyment over education.
- He does that so Murtagh can gain a semblance of routine and, more than that, so he can get a sense of Tornacās role in his life. It lets him see that he doesnāt need to fear his presence and intentions. Itās a way for Tornac can demonstrate that he has no desire to hurt him.
- And not just that he doesnāt want to inflict new hurt, but he doesnāt want to exacerbate his old wounds either.
- Murtagh wonāt talk to him at all if he can smell any whiff of alcohol, doing everything he can to escape his presence, so Tornac cuts back on his drinking. He finds himself remarkably unbothered by it, and itās far easier than he imagined.
- Murtagh flinches and cowers whenever Tornac pats him on the head, immediately on the defensive. It leaves him so on edge and desperate to perform perfect behavior that Tornac canāt unravel the source of his fear when it happens. Only after a while does he coax Murtagh into revealing that his father used to manhandle him by dragging him by the hair.
- So Tornac trains himself not to reach for his head and pats his shoulder instead, squeezing lightly to comfort him. And he tries to come up with another way to convince him not to worry about it because the child has a real knack for getting his hair tangled and he could really use a brush.
- As Tornac lets go of his habits and reinvents his approach to this new situation, he changes. His anger and discontent peter out. His impatience is nowhere to be found. Once he stops expecting every little thing to stress him out, it stops happening, and he realizes that his stress was a habit in itself, born of years and years in a role that didnāt suit him.
- Tornac finds happiness and fulfillment he never imagined in being a caretaker, a guardian, and a teacher. It gives him peace.
- There is a span of time in the midst of this, when Murtagh starts to trust him but before he learns how to fully opens up, that he shares himself with Tornac without the words heās not yet comfortable with. Quietly, mumbling sometimes, he gives Tornac a small, worn book of sweet poems for him to read to him. He grabs his hand and leads him to meet the cat he befriended in the yard. He presents him with his most cherished and only remaining toy and even lets him hold it.
- At this point, two things happen. Watching Tornac engage with the things he loves with careful and genuine care makes Murtagh accept Tornac and give him his complete trust. He decides heās someone he can rely on and wants to turn to whenever he needs to. Murtagh sees in Tornac what he always wanted to have from his parents.
- Simultaneously, Tornac falls in love with Murtagh. He discovers such a wonderful, precious child, and the tendencies he previously saw as stains of fear and damage, now he can see nothing but bravery and resilience within them. He wants to see him grow and thrive and he wants to contribute anything he can to that. If someone told him just a few months ago that he would be doting on his ward like a parent pampering their firstborn, he would have laughed himself to tears. But before he even realizes whatās happening, Tornacās wholeheartedly dedicated to raising Murtagh.
- Tornac gets over the initial hurdle of putting Murtagh at ease. He comes out of his shell and has a lot more energy and talks much more. Heās eager and expectant, so Tornac now faces the overall task of parent with a feeling of, Okay, now what the fuck do I do?
- That is the recurring theme through the next 14 years he spends raising Murtagh.
- Things balance out now that Murtaghās recovered enough to start a routine more typical for a young child. He has tutors and training and activities through the days. And now that Tornac himself is better adjusted and doesnāt need to spend all his energy on Murtaghās immediate issues, he notices his own isolation. He doesnāt have any friends. Heās so used to that that he doesnāt feel particularly upset by it, but he figures Murtagh probably shouldnāt be raised by a recluse.
- So he tries. Heās not very social and his early efforts to make friends feel painfully awkward, but he slowly gets closer to a few people. Not many, but heāll just never be that type and heās fine with that. The head retainer of the household with her vicious wit. The jovial old man who makes the combat training regimens. The head groom of the castle stables.
- They become the closest. Tornac tells him a lot about the antics of raising Murtagh. His friend always laughs and says heās got a great kid, but for his part, heāll stick to horses. He is the one who provides the foal Tornac gives Murtagh.
- Tornac tries his damnedest to stop him from naming the horse after him, but itās a losing battle. The kidās too stubborn to admit that he just couldnāt come up with anything better and refuses to change it. Depending on whoās being more cooperative with his interests, his horse or his warden, Murtagh enjoys designating āthe better Tornacā. When Murtaghās not using the name for jokes, the horse is often called āTorā for clarity.
- Tornac sleeps like the dead, he is so hard to wake up. Murtagh is always a restless sleeper and struggles with nightmares. When heās young, sometimes when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he goes into Tornacās room to sleep with him. He crawls up onto the bed and full on rearranges Tornac, moving his arms and shuffling all around him until heās finally comfortable and Tornac sleeps through the whole thing. He wakes up with his arms wrapped around Murtagh whoās snuggled against his chest as he tries to do the bleary mental math of if he was there the whole time or if heās a new addition.
- Tornac is aromantic. He was focused on other things when he was younger, and whatever shift was supposed to add romance to his focuses as he grew up just never seemed to happen. He makes plenty of excuses for that to himself, all the while finding other peopleās dedicated interest in romance vaguely weird. He never feels the urge to know what heās missing.
- He doesnāt quite identify it as an underlying lack of attraction. In his brief musings about it, he comes to the conclusion that, oh well, he must just have unreasonably high standards that no one can actually meet and thatās the reason no one appeals to him, then he shrugs and never thinks about it again. He never marries or has any kids other than Murtagh.
- Murtagh does get an impression of this when heās a bit older, starting when he gets his first crush. Of course he turns to Tornac, because he knows everything, only for him to shrug and go, āMaybe flowers, I think flowers are supposed to be romantic, right? Try that?ā Heās no help at all.
- Murtagh considers what Tornac does not, which is that if too high standards are whatās actually behind his disinterest, that would be extremely frustrating. But Tornac seems perfectly content without a partner. Murtagh knows even if the perfect person walked into his life, Tornac wouldnāt want them.
- Both Tornac and Murtagh have conflicted feelings about outright calling each other father and son. Itās something they never fully work through before Tornacās death.
- For Tornac, heās reluctant to call himself Murtaghās father because of self consciousness. Despite his best efforts, Murtagh has a rather tumultuous upbringing with no small amount of suffering. Heās mistreated by many people around him and some get close enough to hurt him more dramatically. Murtagh endures attacks, manipulation, betrayal, coercion, and a few, worse things.
- Tornac beats himself up for not protecting Murtagh from these wounds. He believes a real father should take better care of his child and balks from claiming Murtagh as his son when he feels like he failed him in that regard.
- For Murtagh, he refrains from declaring himself Tornacās son because he feels like a burdensome child. Murtagh sees himself as trouble, unreasonably difficult and hard to deal with. Heās so conspicuous and marked by preconceptions he never had the chance to control, and trouble flocks to him without end. His life will be a thorny mess no matter what either of them do, and Murtagh fears Tornac would never want to claim a child like that.
- Even when heās trying his best, awful things happen to him that Tornac has to manage and that makes Murtagh so deeply guilty. He doesnāt want to force Tornac to accept him as his responsibility more than he already has to through the even tighter bond of being his son.
- Wholeheartedly, they mutually feel that they are truly and fundamentally father and son. But they never find the courage to say it as profoundly as they feel.
- Murtagh blames himself for Tornacās death- for not fleeing the moment Galbatorix first tried to beguile him, for asking Tornac to escape with him despite the danger, for not protecting him better.
- Tornac would be inexpressibly proud of who Murtaghās become.
I don't plan to make Clear Horizons a smutty story per say (there's a little sexual content but it's not emphasized). That does however add something funny to the situation of coming up with smutty concepts and jotting them down anyway, 1) for indulgence. But Also 2) so I know what situations would have them hot and bothered enough to make stupid ass decisions out of sheer horniness. That's a vital element of characterization right there!
Like, I have a far off plot point where another character needs to become suspicious they might be in a relationship. Maybe it's simply because Orrin is physically incapable of not blatantly staring at Murtagh when he wears revealing clothes! Who knows!!
I have a ride or die headcanon that little Murtagh was obsessed with Morzanās dragon. He absolutely loved him.
Murtagh sees him often enough from a young enough age that heās never scared of him. So naturally, heās absolutely enamored with the huge, beautiful, glittery, fire breathing monster that hangs out outside the house. Heās kept at a distance, but heās still the dragonās biggest fan. Murtaghās very upset to learn that he doesnāt have a name which feels very unfair to him, so he musters up all his creativity and dubs him āRedā.
Morzan doesnāt always travel with his dragon when he leaves the estate, depending on what he needs to do. So sometimes the dragon stays and rests while Morzan is gone. During one such time, when Selena is also away on a mission, a freshly 3 year old Murtagh escapes his nurses and goes to Red. Heās careful at first, testing the waters gently, then getting increasingly close and comfortable with him when Red seems utterly unbothered. Heās no more than an ant next to the dragonās enormous size. Murtagh is immediately in love, clambering all over him and constantly babbling to him, undeterred by the lack of response.
The servants do eventually find him after a frantic search. Morzanās dragon doesnāt like any of the staff, so despite letting Murtagh nestle into the crook of his foreleg, he snarls and snaps at anyone who tries to get close enough to retrieve him. The servants are stuck in a grim dilemma, because no oneās willing to test the limits of a gargantuan, irascible dragon, and they donāt have anything to bribe Murtagh with thatās cooler than said dragon, so he refuses to budge. Theyāre absolutely terrified the dragon will kill him, either inadvertently or not.
After three full days of Murtagh glued to Redās side, remaining miraculously unsquished, Morzan returns. The servants are in a cold sweat, stuttering and shaking like leaves in a storm as they try to explain that his son is fine, thereās no need for alarm, but there may be just a small issue. He goes to his partner and does with insulting ease what the staff have fruitlessly tried for three days, he steps right in and scoops Murtagh up. He looks completely unkempt and ignoble, dirty and scraped from being outside the whole time, giggling unrepentantly and singing Redās praises.
To the servants great luck, Morzan finds this all quite amusing. Carrying Murtagh back to the house, he accuses, āTrying to replace me as the dragon Rider, are you?ā and Murtagh cries, āYes! Take me flying!ā Morzan says that he will, but it never happens.
Selena is less thrilled when she learns of this, also afraid that the dragon might kill Murtagh in a moment of annoyance. But Murtagh adores him and she canāt reliably keep him away, so she tries to accept the incongruous match. Red doesnāt show any perceptible warmth to him, and yet he makes the effort to keep tabs on him and stops him from doing anything too dangerous. Of course, since the banishing of the names stunted his mind, the dragon doesnāt have any nuanced opinion of Murtagh, but he can recognize that his little ant feels incapable of malice and he comes to like Murtagh in the way he can. Learning of Redās death on top of the loss of both his parents utterly devastates Murtagh.
After a little while in Uruābaen, Tornac asks Murtagh which parent he was closer to, and Murtagh tells him Morzanās dragon. Tornac takes a very long, very strained breath, thinking Oh dear gods help me I have so much fucking work to do.
So. uh. This is probably a lot more than you bargained for lmao, I went a bit crazy. This is mostly a continuous story of his backstory through roughly the first year he raised Murtagh, then some more random headcanons after that.
I just. love Tornac <3
-
- Tornac is the son of the marshal, who oversees the military presence of a noblemanās castle. His father starts training him in combat when heās young simply for practicality, with the hope that he can take over his role when heās older.
- Tornac learns very quickly, even when heās young. He didnāt have any fervent dreams of knighthood or glory, yet heās always unwaveringly prepared for new challenges to overcome.
- No one around him entirely recognizes what they have on their hands as Tornac goes through his first several years of training. He steadily masters every skill presented to him, not without struggling, but he never struggles for very long. His father can tell heās especially talented and heās impressed when he has nothing more to teach him when Tornac is just 14. He knows his son will be a great swordsman, but it doesnāt occur to him to imagine far beyond the scope of his own largely unremarkable life.
- Regardless, his father is kind and wants him to excel, so he arranges for Tornac train under a more venerated knight in another city. He goes and he learns the more advanced skills the knight teaches him until Tornac can best him too, after only a little more than a year after arriving.
- With the impressed recommendation of his previous tutor, Tornac gets passed around to increasingly renowned warriors, and yet, his capabilities never seem to reach a limit they canāt grow beyond. He never finds a mentor he canāt eventually defeat. Belatedly, his peers and patrons come to realize that Tornac is a true prodigy, something the Empireās army inevitably takes notice of.
- In his youth, Tornac himself is hard working, reserved, and intensely pragmatic, never particularly outgoing or adventurous. He never cared to question the path his father set him on, even once his father was no longer the one laying it out for him. Heās good at this, and that was reason enough for him to decide to build his livelihood as a soldier. He never stops to consider any other possibility for himself.
- So when the army takes him into the fold to test his mettle, he goes along readily. Even the expertise hoarded by the Empire canāt hold him back by then. He has so little left to learn, and what he does he learns swiftly before conquering every last challenge. At just 20 years old, he earns the simple but resounding reputation of the best warrior of his day- and quite possibly in the history of the Empire.
- (I do imagine Tornac as the best human warrior in the series. In a hypothetical situation where he might have lived, he had the skills to defeat any of the other humans at any point in the story.)
- Tornac needs no convincing to accept a position in the army, especially after his father expresses his support of the opportunity. It is by far the clearest place for him and he struggles to imagine a different option that could suit him, so he doesnāt dwell on the choice to enlist. He honestly doesnāt know what else to do with himself.
- He wasnāt raised with any special loyalty to the Empire. He sees his role in the army as performing a job more so than serving a cause. Heās dismissive of the politics behind the army and he falls short enacting the zealous allegiance that the army prefers to instill in its soldiers.
- Nevertheless, by the merit of his unparalleled swordsmanship, Tornac rises through the ranks swiftly. He doesnāt do much to actively seek out his promotions, not very ambitious by nature, but his reputation elevates him, and after a few years, he settles in the position of commander.
- Tornac spends over a decade in the army, notorious, but no longer just for the fact that he remains undefeated. The years sour him and wear away at every soft part of him, leaving only jagged flint behind. Tornacās remarkable prowess in combat doesnāt innately suit him to command. Heās adept at it, he would have never lasted so long if he wasnāt, but he hates it. It taxes him horribly, managing so many soldiers- he hates the endless monotony, logistic headaches, enforcing discipline, handling every problem, and ordering around everyone without the common sense to figure out anything on their own. He does it, but he hates every minute of it.
- Tornac grows notorious for being a dismally strict commander, never to the point that heās called cruel, but famously impatient. Itās an accurate description. Heās utterly intolerant of any disrespect or crassness, irascible and very swift to snap at anyone whoās made a mistake or fumbled their responsibilities, and browbeats his men for talking back to him or his orders.
- It creates an endless cycle of stress and he drinks when he can find the time to try to alleviate the tension. Heās perpetually discontent, but he sees no alternative.
- Tornac carries out his own orders successfully and wins every battle against the Vardenās men when they pressure their borders. While the Empire uses the less effective units of its army to police its own citizens and ensure compliance, it sends Tornac to deal with the real threats. He becomes a very experienced and renowned veteran, but he doesnāt make many friends.
- Tornac is in his thirties when heās appointed Murtaghās warden. Of course, in an official capacity, Galbatorix is the guardian of his most loyal servantās son, but the childās day to day life is beneath him and so he summons Tornac.
- Tornac is bewildered to be plucked from his post by a direct invitation from the king with no explanation. Itās nothing compared to his absolute shock when Galbatorix announces he is to oversee the upbringing of Morzanās four year old son. Overshadowing the already confounding revelation that Morzan had a child at all, he cannot fathom why he should have any responsibility over him. He argues that he has absolutely no skill with children and he has duties to fulfill on the other side of the country. Galbatorix informs him that heās been relieved of his command so he may take on this task.
- Under any other circumstance, Tornac might be overjoyed to hear he doesnāt have to toil in the army any longer, but in the moment, it feels like his world is falling apart. Heās carefully built his whole life around the things he already has full confidence and understanding in, and now, all at once heās being thrown into something utterly unknown and untried.
- And he has never wanted children. He hates his command because he hates being bothered, and the only thing he can imagine bothering him more is a shrieking toddler. Heāll lose his mind.
- His blindsided panic gets the better of him and he argues against his orders much more brashly than he would have dared to otherwise. Cool and stoney, Galbatorix cuts across him, saying, āMorzanās son is to become a great warrior. I am giving him the guidance of Alagaesiaās finest swordsman so that he will not fail that expectation.ā
- The king leaves not even a hairās breadth of room for defiance and so Tornac stops showing any. It gets through to him that this is real, so he bows and accepts the task. He might not feel much loyalty to the Empire, but heās not a fool and he knows full well that the king is not someone to be denied.
- And so it happens that the most famed and maladjusted commander of the Empireās army becomes the caretaker of Morzanās four year old son.
- Galbatorix was being honest in his explanation to Tornac. His reason for assigning him to raise Murtagh was Tornacās martial prowess. From the beginning, he intends to use Murtagh as a weapon when heās old enough, whether he becomes a Rider or not. So itās of the greatest importance that he learns to be a strong warrior, and since that requires dedicated training throughout his youth, thatās what he needs Tornac to provide more than anything else.
- The rest Galbatorix is confident he can handle when the time comes to recruit Murtagh. He knows Tornac is rather dispassionate about the Empire and is unlikely to instill much loyalty in Murtagh, but he feels fully willing and able to force Murtagh into compliance if need be, so he doesnāt let that get in the way.
- Heās also aware of Tornacās less than kindly reputation, but that doesnāt bother him either. In fact, Galbatorix welcomes the possibility that Tornac might mistreat him similarly to how Morzan did- as long as he doesnāt cause more lasting, physical harm. Instinctive, ingrained fear of punishment is something he could make effective use of later down the line.
- So Galbatorix ignores Tornacās objections that he would be a bad warden for a young child. He will serve the purpose the king actually cares about- forging a weapon.
- Thus Tornac is provided a new life in Uruābaenās citadel, more lavish than heās ever known. Heās introduced to his quarters, the household staff, and finally, his ward.
- He doesnāt know what he thought Morzanās progeny would be, but it certainly wasnāt Murtagh. Heās scrawny and oh so small, with huge, gray eyes deep with uncertainty. He holds himself tense and moves around carefully- because of his wounded back, Tornac soon learns.
- And heās quiet. Murtagh is remarkably, blessedly quiet.
- At first, Tornac revels in this, astounded by his good luck. He expected a shrill, petulant, and entitled child he simply wouldnāt be able to cope with, but Murtagh is so withdrawn and out of the way, he can almost forget heās even there. He can live with this, and the relief is profound.
- It doesnāt last, though. After the first week, Tornac starts to get frustrated by how difficult it is to communicate with his new ward. He shies away from his attempts to glean anything about him, mumbling only the most noncommittal answers, then when he does tug on his sleeve, he fails to say what exactly he needs. Murtagh needs so much coaxing to come out of his shell, only to retract again at the drop of a hat, and Tornac finds himself struggling to keep his patience.
- In the way Galbatorix silently anticipated, Tornac does snap at Murtagh in those early days. His habitual stress responses make him raise his voice and reprimand him for being difficult, trying to forcibly override Murtaghās behavior. Itās counterproductive enough that it starts to make Tornac uncomfortable in a way heās never felt before.
- Any satisfaction he first felt at Murtaghās quietness has vanished. Heād rather deal with a well behaved child, but a four year old should have more energy than this, no matter his shyness. His reticence strikes him as more and more unnatural.
- A far cry from what he dreaded when he was told to care for a child, this is how he would imagine having an exceedingly skittish cat. Murtagh hides under the furniture, he tries to leave the room the moment someone else enters, he never makes eye contact with him for more than a heartbeat, and heās so damn quiet!
- Heās concerned for Murtagh, Tornac realizes, grieved by the signs of fear and pain in a child so young. This is as far as he can get from his responsibilities in the army, and his methods of dealing with it like a commander are clearly making things worse.
- Tornac pulls back to reevaluate. He may be woefully unknowledgeable about children, but his father always told him that his natural talent as a warrior came from his impeccable intuition. He can intuit this. He can observe and analyze and adapt to figure this out, because those are skills he does have.
- He breathes and steadies himself, calming himself like he does before a duel. He aligns himself to Murtaghās own pace to start off, then adjusts from there. He forcefully reminds himself heās not working under any deadlines anymore, he has no duties that pile up during any delay, and he lets himself wait for Murtagh to find a degree of courage and comfort in his own very lengthy time. Some days, he never does, but as Tornac allows himself to take this as a chance to rest and recuperate as well, patience comes so much easier. Enough that Murtagh occasionally overcomes his anxiety and opens up to him.
- Tornac resolves to better step into the role assigned to him. He involves himself more consistently in Murtaghās day to day, he bends his focus and decisions towards his safety and comfort, and he starts to teach him lessons. Murtaghās still so young that theyāre hardly vital, so he keeps them short and light, hoping for enjoyment over education.
- He does that so Murtagh can gain a semblance of routine and, more than that, so he can get a sense of Tornacās role in his life. It lets him see that he doesnāt need to fear his presence and intentions. Itās a way for Tornac can demonstrate that he has no desire to hurt him.
- And not just that he doesnāt want to inflict new hurt, but he doesnāt want to exacerbate his old wounds either.
- Murtagh wonāt talk to him at all if he can smell any whiff of alcohol, doing everything he can to escape his presence, so Tornac cuts back on his drinking. He finds himself remarkably unbothered by it, and itās far easier than he imagined.
- Murtagh flinches and cowers whenever Tornac pats him on the head, immediately on the defensive. It leaves him so on edge and desperate to perform perfect behavior that Tornac canāt unravel the source of his fear when it happens. Only after a while does he coax Murtagh into revealing that his father used to manhandle him by dragging him by the hair.
- So Tornac trains himself not to reach for his head and pats his shoulder instead, squeezing lightly to comfort him. And he tries to come up with another way to convince him not to worry about it because the child has a real knack for getting his hair tangled and he could really use a brush.
- As Tornac lets go of his habits and reinvents his approach to this new situation, he changes. His anger and discontent peter out. His impatience is nowhere to be found. Once he stops expecting every little thing to stress him out, it stops happening, and he realizes that his stress was a habit in itself, born of years and years in a role that didnāt suit him.
- Tornac finds happiness and fulfillment he never imagined in being a caretaker, a guardian, and a teacher. It gives him peace.
- There is a span of time in the midst of this, when Murtagh starts to trust him but before he learns how to fully opens up, that he shares himself with Tornac without the words heās not yet comfortable with. Quietly, mumbling sometimes, he gives Tornac a small, worn book of sweet poems for him to read to him. He grabs his hand and leads him to meet the cat he befriended in the yard. He presents him with his most cherished and only remaining toy and even lets him hold it.
- At this point, two things happen. Watching Tornac engage with the things he loves with careful and genuine care makes Murtagh accept Tornac and give him his complete trust. He decides heās someone he can rely on and wants to turn to whenever he needs to. Murtagh sees in Tornac what he always wanted to have from his parents.
- Simultaneously, Tornac falls in love with Murtagh. He discovers such a wonderful, precious child, and the tendencies he previously saw as stains of fear and damage, now he can see nothing but bravery and resilience within them. He wants to see him grow and thrive and he wants to contribute anything he can to that. If someone told him just a few months ago that he would be doting on his ward like a parent pampering their firstborn, he would have laughed himself to tears. But before he even realizes whatās happening, Tornacās wholeheartedly dedicated to raising Murtagh.
- Tornac gets over the initial hurdle of putting Murtagh at ease. He comes out of his shell and has a lot more energy and talks much more. Heās eager and expectant, so Tornac now faces the overall task of parent with a feeling of, Okay, now what the fuck do I do?
- That is the recurring theme through the next 14 years he spends raising Murtagh.
- Things balance out now that Murtaghās recovered enough to start a routine more typical for a young child. He has tutors and training and activities through the days. And now that Tornac himself is better adjusted and doesnāt need to spend all his energy on Murtaghās immediate issues, he notices his own isolation. He doesnāt have any friends. Heās so used to that that he doesnāt feel particularly upset by it, but he figures Murtagh probably shouldnāt be raised by a recluse.
- So he tries. Heās not very social and his early efforts to make friends feel painfully awkward, but he slowly gets closer to a few people. Not many, but heāll just never be that type and heās fine with that. The head retainer of the household with her vicious wit. The jovial old man who makes the combat training regimens. The head groom of the castle stables.
- They become the closest. Tornac tells him a lot about the antics of raising Murtagh. His friend always laughs and says heās got a great kid, but for his part, heāll stick to horses. He is the one who provides the foal Tornac gives Murtagh.
- Tornac tries his damnedest to stop him from naming the horse after him, but itās a losing battle. The kidās too stubborn to admit that he just couldnāt come up with anything better and refuses to change it. Depending on whoās being more cooperative with his interests, his horse or his warden, Murtagh enjoys designating āthe better Tornacā. When Murtaghās not using the name for jokes, the horse is often called āTorā for clarity.
- Tornac sleeps like the dead, he is so hard to wake up. Murtagh is always a restless sleeper and struggles with nightmares. When heās young, sometimes when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he goes into Tornacās room to sleep with him. He crawls up onto the bed and full on rearranges Tornac, moving his arms and shuffling all around him until heās finally comfortable and Tornac sleeps through the whole thing. He wakes up with his arms wrapped around Murtagh whoās snuggled against his chest as he tries to do the bleary mental math of if he was there the whole time or if heās a new addition.
- Tornac is aromantic. He was focused on other things when he was younger, and whatever shift was supposed to add romance to his focuses as he grew up just never seemed to happen. He makes plenty of excuses for that to himself, all the while finding other peopleās dedicated interest in romance vaguely weird. He never feels the urge to know what heās missing.
- He doesnāt quite identify it as an underlying lack of attraction. In his brief musings about it, he comes to the conclusion that, oh well, he must just have unreasonably high standards that no one can actually meet and thatās the reason no one appeals to him, then he shrugs and never thinks about it again. He never marries or has any kids other than Murtagh.
- Murtagh does get an impression of this when heās a bit older, starting when he gets his first crush. Of course he turns to Tornac, because he knows everything, only for him to shrug and go, āMaybe flowers, I think flowers are supposed to be romantic, right? Try that?ā Heās no help at all.
- Murtagh considers what Tornac does not, which is that if too high standards are whatās actually behind his disinterest, that would be extremely frustrating. But Tornac seems perfectly content without a partner. Murtagh knows even if the perfect person walked into his life, Tornac wouldnāt want them.
- Both Tornac and Murtagh have conflicted feelings about outright calling each other father and son. Itās something they never fully work through before Tornacās death.
- For Tornac, heās reluctant to call himself Murtaghās father because of self consciousness. Despite his best efforts, Murtagh has a rather tumultuous upbringing with no small amount of suffering. Heās mistreated by many people around him and some get close enough to hurt him more dramatically. Murtagh endures attacks, manipulation, betrayal, coercion, and a few, worse things.
- Tornac beats himself up for not protecting Murtagh from these wounds. He believes a real father should take better care of his child and balks from claiming Murtagh as his son when he feels like he failed him in that regard.
- For Murtagh, he refrains from declaring himself Tornacās son because he feels like a burdensome child. Murtagh sees himself as trouble, unreasonably difficult and hard to deal with. Heās so conspicuous and marked by preconceptions he never had the chance to control, and trouble flocks to him without end. His life will be a thorny mess no matter what either of them do, and Murtagh fears Tornac would never want to claim a child like that.
- Even when heās trying his best, awful things happen to him that Tornac has to manage and that makes Murtagh so deeply guilty. He doesnāt want to force Tornac to accept him as his responsibility more than he already has to through the even tighter bond of being his son.
- Wholeheartedly, they mutually feel that they are truly and fundamentally father and son. But they never find the courage to say it as profoundly as they feel.
- Murtagh blames himself for Tornacās death- for not fleeing the moment Galbatorix first tried to beguile him, for asking Tornac to escape with him despite the danger, for not protecting him better.
- Tornac would be inexpressibly proud of who Murtaghās become.
I have a ride or die headcanon that little Murtagh was obsessed with Morzanās dragon. He absolutely loved him.
Murtagh sees him often enough from a young enough age that heās never scared of him. So naturally, heās absolutely enamored with the huge, beautiful, glittery, fire breathing monster that hangs out outside the house. Heās kept at a distance, but heās still the dragonās biggest fan. Murtaghās very upset to learn that he doesnāt have a name which feels very unfair to him, so he musters up all his creativity and dubs him āRedā.
Morzan doesnāt always travel with his dragon when he leaves the estate, depending on what he needs to do. So sometimes the dragon stays and rests while Morzan is gone. During one such time, when Selena is also away on a mission, a freshly 3 year old Murtagh escapes his nurses and goes to Red. Heās careful at first, testing the waters gently, then getting increasingly close and comfortable with him when Red seems utterly unbothered. Heās no more than an ant next to the dragonās enormous size. Murtagh is immediately in love, clambering all over him and constantly babbling to him, undeterred by the lack of response.
The servants do eventually find him after a frantic search. Morzanās dragon doesnāt like any of the staff, so despite letting Murtagh nestle into the crook of his foreleg, he snarls and snaps at anyone who tries to get close enough to retrieve him. The servants are stuck in a grim dilemma, because no oneās willing to test the limits of a gargantuan, irascible dragon, and they donāt have anything to bribe Murtagh with thatās cooler than said dragon, so he refuses to budge. Theyāre absolutely terrified the dragon will kill him, either inadvertently or not.
After three full days of Murtagh glued to Redās side, remaining miraculously unsquished, Morzan returns. The servants are in a cold sweat, stuttering and shaking like leaves in a storm as they try to explain that his son is fine, thereās no need for alarm, but there may be just a small issue. He goes to his partner and does with insulting ease what the staff have fruitlessly tried for three days, he steps right in and scoops Murtagh up. He looks completely unkempt and ignoble, dirty and scraped from being outside the whole time, giggling unrepentantly and singing Redās praises.
To the servants great luck, Morzan finds this all quite amusing. Carrying Murtagh back to the house, he accuses, āTrying to replace me as the dragon Rider, are you?ā and Murtagh cries, āYes! Take me flying!ā Morzan says that he will, but it never happens.
Selena is less thrilled when she learns of this, also afraid that the dragon might kill Murtagh in a moment of annoyance. But Murtagh adores him and she canāt reliably keep him away, so she tries to accept the incongruous match. Red doesnāt show any perceptible warmth to him, and yet he makes the effort to keep tabs on him and stops him from doing anything too dangerous. Of course, since the banishing of the names stunted his mind, the dragon doesnāt have any nuanced opinion of Murtagh, but he can recognize that his little ant feels incapable of malice and he comes to like Murtagh in the way he can. Learning of Redās death on top of the loss of both his parents utterly devastates Murtagh.
After a little while in Uruābaen, Tornac asks Murtagh which parent he was closer to, and Murtagh tells him Morzanās dragon. Tornac takes a very long, very strained breath, thinking Oh dear gods help me I have so much fucking work to do.
When shipping Orrin/Murtagh, do you ever feel the need to just... give in to their alcohol abuse tendencies? I wanted to do a drabble with them but halfway their communication problem turned into retreating, moping and drinking :(
Oooh that idea has a lot of interesting possibilities within it. Of course, itās perfect for angst, and I think thereās great potential to develop it into a meaningful resolution.
I definitely encourage you to keep going! I donāt feel like the characters relapsing into alcoholism to some degree has to halt the progress of your story, especially when writing Murtagh and Orrin. After all, the ways that both of them made mistakes with alcohol in the past is one of the many interesting overlaps between them. The way their communication issue led them back to drinking is an interesting concept in itself. Itād be a cool approach to illustrate what emotions theyāre most vulnerable to and what makes Murtagh feel the need to drink versus what makes Orrin feel it. What parts of their relationship are most affected by these struggles? Do they try to keep it hidden? Do they ever drink together?
That has a lot of potential to shift the situation and explore their dynamic from an entirely new angle. Would Orrin first suggest it, or would Murtagh? How exactly would they interact in that kind of state and how would they feel about it afterwards? That could lead them to reveal or confess things they were avoiding and kickstart proper communication. Or on the other hand, if their drunken distress feeds into each other and makes their pain and misunderstanding even worse, it could make them realize afterwards that they need to deal with things directly before they break something that canāt be fixed.
Alternatively, maybe one or both of them realize what the other is doing without ever seeing them drink. Since they both had past experiences with alcohol abuse, they could be particularly conscious of the signs. Maybe Orrin notices the glint of a flask tucked surreptitiously in Murtaghās pocket even though heād never seen him carry one before, or he sees tiny drops of red staining the sleeve of his shirt. Maybe Murtagh notices the smell of Orrinās breath through the heavy perfume trying to disguise it, or catches him bringing his goblet away with him when dinner is finished.
Realizing that the other is also struggling can spark deep empathy and concern. Perhaps that earnest care and desire to help can overpower the feelings that caused the communication issue to begin with. Or the worry and urge to help make it clear that their own drinking habits are harmful and need to be addressed. It could provide a lot of motivation to open up and work through hard things together once they see how much theyāre both hurt by such miscommunications. And breaking their habits and recovering together could ease so much shame and fear and show Murtagh and Orrin the value of support that theyāve never had quite like this.
So much potential! I really hope that was helpful or inspiring in some way, and I hope it wasnāt overbearing or anything. I just adore chatting about ideas for the two of them. If you do finish the fic, please please PLEASE send me a link, Iād fucking LOVE to read it!!!!!!
(If itās of interest- I havenāt really felt drawn to show them falling back to their alcoholism during their relationship, but itās more because I donāt tend to emphasize substance abuse in my own writing. On an individual level, I find it somewhat uncomfortable to write in depth, and Iām not fully confident in my ability to depict it well. Itās a very interesting theme and Iāve enjoyed plenty of stories that deal with it, but writing it myself is a different beast Iām not always up for.
Within my own story, I work through the alcohol abuse they demonstrate during canon in the first part and bring it to a resolution before they meet. Orrin overcomes his brief but brutal descent into alcoholism during the first few months after the end of the war as part of his journey to properly process his grief for the loved ones he lost. In my headcanons, Murtaghās drunkenness was more isolated and extreme incidents, also very unhealthy, but not consistent in a way that led to dependency. That makes it easier for him to overcome, facilitated by the fact that he simply has no alcohol to drink in his isolation. By the time they meet, they both have a resolve to not drink if they can avoid it.
For the most part, theyāre pretty good for each other in that way. They want to support the otherās resolve to stay sober and donāt want to undermine that with any temptation, and that tends to keep them from initiating drinking together. (Though that doesnāt always keep them away from other unhealthy behaviors...) Iāve written a conversation between them where they first talk about that part of their past. In a certain way, it helps alleviate some of their shame and fear of judgment to know that theyāve both made similar mistakes. They empathize with that struggle and would never condemn the other for it.
Although, all this has made me consider some ways having struggles with alcohol come back up might play a meaningful role in the story, so I definitely want to give that more thought!)
I know I've been pretty quiet lately- my focus and mental health have had some ups and downs- but I've still been working away. I'm done with my recent stint of planning/ note taking/ story development and I'm very excited I can say I'm now in Go Mode.
I've accomplished what I was aiming for in my last update, namely writing a proper character arc for Thorn and deciding how to integrate it into the story, and filling in the aspects of Murtagh's character arc I felt were underdeveloped. It took a lot longer than I expected it too, which is the story of my life, but I also accomplished more than I initially set out to do. For one, fixing Murtagh's arc demanded a lot more attention than I thought it needed, and now both he and Thorn feel fully realized.
Along with that, hammering out their arcs and connecting them with Orrin's pushed me to consider the plot line much more intently. Creating the events and plot structure that moves the story forward is by far the hardest part of writing for me. I did have a plot when I started this story, but it was a bit flimsy. I thought I might struggle with it throughout the whole process, but while working on the characters, I was able to make a lot of decisions and adjustments regarding the plot because it motivated me to better establish the framework I was building on. I'm really proud of how much more substantial and refined it is now; it has new strength and I have a lot more confidence in it.
I'm also quite confident that this will be the last time I have to take a long break from the actual writing to plan ahead. I've solved a ton of my unknown variables. There's only one characterization element that I'm still pretty unsure of, and it's not nearly as pivotal as what I've been wrestling with. And of course there's plenty of nitty gritty plot details I haven't decided on yet, but I'm not really worried about any of them and I think most will fall into place while I'm writing. I honestly feel like I'm in go mode. There's a ton left to write, but I don't expect anything to hold me back from making progress on the actual writing from here on.
I have put down my notebook and I've started writing the next section, and it feels great. For as necessary and successful as that planning period was, it was starting to drive me a bit crazy lmao. I'll consider some ways to share stuff with you guys while it's still a wip. Thank you to everyone who's encouraged me š!
I also have some general ic thoughts I want to post about soon. Life has been distracting, but I miss rambling and sharing ideas with you guys! I'll be doing some more of that soon
