chim chimimini

We're all lost, but I found that one sock though

[topherchris]

[powerburial]

Where I come from, we don’t worry about these fruity-tuity California style buds. Okay? I’m from Scranton. What i’m smoking is dirt. So lets get that straight jack. Pure brick. Ass. Okay? America- Americans are wanting to smoke that dirt, okay? You go up to someone and say, hey, I’m gonna give you a big bag of this heady bud, but I’m taking your stash of mids, they’re gonna say C’mon man! get out of here! *audience cheers* that’s right. that’s right. Get the hell out of here! We like stems! We like seeds! Where I come from.

[thottielamottie]

this post is scripture to me like this is a seminal text. to me

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[blackpyrefly]

william the conqueror: i shall take england for normandy and become its king

william the concurrer: i agree

[insomniac-arrest]

Tip: You can replace therapy with fifteen hour of unrealistic romantic fantasies daily. But watch out.

[puddox]

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

[yuriinullification]

holdon

what the fuck is going on in this site's backend

[mrsandman42069]

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[interestingmistakes]

Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.

[syzygynephile]

Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.

Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!

My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".

The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...

My card: Declines

[saw09]

always thinking about this image

[yrbeecharmer]

giving myself a merit badge that says SURVIVED MARCH

[yrbeecharmer]

oh fuck. I’m so sorry. listening and learning

[secondlina]

Working all week long (because I'm an artist).

[queer-as-city-folk]

most erotic bug

spider

bee

ladybug

butterfly

fly

mantis

worm

cicada

Voting ended onDec 31, 2025

[bepenikki]

[br1ghtestlight]

spent MONTHS looking for this stupid tumblr post bcuz i constantly want to reference it and it wouldn't come up no matter what i searched despite it being (what i thought) was a popular well-known tumblr post only to find that the original blog turned off reblogs and deactivated and that it only got 12k notes total. but im posting it anyway to preserve its legacy

[eternalgirlscout]

earlier today i told an acquaintance in passing that i'll often be in the middle of a novel and think "man i wish this shit were more ambiguous" and had to reiterate twice that i wasn't being sarcastic before they believed me, so this post is to say: i love when writers don't bother to explain everything, i love when stories end uncertain and unsettling, i love being required to think as a reader, i love when stuff makes no damn sense, no i'm not kidding

[ushirominya]

last christmas man me a sand but the very next day man car door hook hand

[ushirominya]

me n u both buddy

[teaboot]

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

[teaboot]

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

[edgar-allan-possum]

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

[elidyce]

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family. 

[cipheramnesia]

Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.

Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.

[val-the-bun]

[sankta-wraith]

the original? on my dash?

[ot3]

we should all be deeply deeply ashamed that the staff and users of this website have succeeded in making a social media environment that is more hostile to black people than that of a website currently owned and operated by an unabashed white supremacist

[crazyintheeast]

girl this site is an archipelago of self absorbed blogs that know nothing beyond their favourite fandoms .if you want to do a callout post for the staff behind their usual bs you need to elaborate and give the entire story

[ot3]

the entire story is that i am talking about a site-wide culture problem beyond any individual incidents. and it is a culture problem that you are participating in with this exact response by implying it's somehow unreasonable to expect the average tumblr user to notice or care about the ways in which this site has alienated its black userbase. and by completely tunnel visioning onto the idea of staff having done something "callout post" worthy instead of taking the time to sit back and actually think about this situation long enough to connect the dots between what i said about the users of this site and your characterization of those exact same people as "self absorbed blogs that know nothing beyond their favourite fandoms". the self absorption is not what stops fandom bloggers from realizing there is racism on this site, the self absorption is the source of the racism.

[man1cpixiedreampuppy]

magneto: how do you have so much faith in humans to do the right thing when they have proven you wrong time and time again?

the humble charles xavier: